Oh Waiter!
Thom Keehn
zinyadel@hotmail.com


Exclusive rights to all Ranma1/2 characters and places belong to
Rumiko Takahashi and are used herein without permission.  This
material is not to be used for commercial gain or in any other way
that is profitable.

This is intended to take place immediately after Desire.  Yet another
Ukyo story, this time shared with Konatsu, Shampoo and Mousse.  Will
reclaiming her faithful servant end up in a serving showdown?

The stories of both the Cas series and Wedding Aftermaths are on my
homepage in formatted text files.

http://ravenhale.anifics.com/fiction.html

-----

The night air had a slight chill to it.  The ethereal breeze wafted
in from the south, over the waters of the sea.  The soft lull of
lapping waves repeated incessantly, a background beat to the sounds
of the night.  Below his vantage point, a couple walked along the
sandy shore, arms around each others' waists.  He sighed.

Turning away from the open window, he continued at his chore of
sweeping the wooden floorboards.  His steady stroke sent swirls of
dust towards the entrance in a whirlwind dance before his small,
sandaled feet.  His progress was quick and sure, the floor always
spotless by the time he finished.  Afterwards he would mop the floor
with a wet rag and then help in the kitchen if any work remained to
be done.

Of course, tonight there would not be any further work after he
finished the dining room.  This was their first week at the seaside
location, and word had not quite spread that the Cat Cafe was open
for business.  Though they rarely had a table empty throughout the
night, they also lacked the usual line of standing customers, waiting
to be seated.  Such had their business flourished since the arrival
of the new waitress.

With a final sweep out the doorway, Konatsu turned to inspect his
handiwork.  With a critical eye he wandered the dining room, scanning
the corners and shadows of the room for signs of dust.  Satisfied he
had been successful with his sweep, he continued into the back room,
carrying the broom with him.

The sounds of dishes and curt Chinese carried through the open portal
to the kitchen.  He ignored the sounds, knowing that it was probably
Mousse getting chewed out over something ridiculous again.  He opened
a small closet, his back to the portal as he leaned the broom
reverently aside before kneeling down to pick up the floor rag.  With
the rag in hand, he steeled himself in preparation as he stood up and
walked purposely into the kitchen.

The scene was nothing new.  Shampoo scowled down at a duck as she
dried the dishes Mousse had finished before the accident.  She was
speaking sharply in Chinese at the duck, probably scolding him for
making her chore more difficult.  The duck was squawking back,
probably begging to be changed back so they could finish the chore
sooner.

Grandmother was not present, having taken to her bed immediately
after the restaurant closed.  As the cook, she had no futher duties
after close with three teenagers to do the dirty work.  Konatsu
understood the reasoning.  At Uuchans, Ukyou and himself could close
the restaurant in under an hour and a half.  Though the Cat Cafe had
more help on hand, they used to be lucky to get the task done in two
hours.  With Konatsu's water impervious body, they averaged out at an
hour and fifteen.

Shampoo stopped her tirade to smile at Konatsu.  She dried the plate
with a black towel that was tucked in at her waist.  Her hands were
wet up to her midarm, suggesting she had been doing dishes until
Mousse volunteered for the chore.  She had her hair pinned up to the
top of her head currently, so it would not be in the way during the
task.

Konatsu shook his head, stepping around the pile of clothes and noisy
duck.  He grabbed a nearby bucket and filled it with water as he
wondered why these two even lived together.  It was obvious Mousse
really liked Shampoo and it was also painfully obvious that Shampoo
wanted nothing to do with the boy in the manner Mousse wanted.

Cutting off the water flow, he bowed and smiled politely to Shampoo
before retreating from the kitchen.  Out of the corner of his eye,
Shampoo slipped on a heavy white apron over her sleeveless, magenta
blouse before she delivered a swift kick to the duck and went back to
the task of doing dishes.  Konatsu set down the bucket by the closet,
opening it again to retrieve the floor cleaner.

Much had happened over the course of the year.  Grandmother had
trained him hard those first couple months, forcing him to deliver
multiple orders as fast as she could make them.  He was praised for
his efforts, something Ukyou had stopped doing a long time ago.  It
was true that the praises had stopped in another month or so, so he
could not fault Ukyou's slight any more than the Amazons'.  In the
end, everything was taken for granted, what had been praised was now
expected.  Konatsu accepted this with a grace he was taught to accept
everything harsh in this world.

Though it was slightly embarrassing, he had to admit that the most
difficult change was the loss of his kimono.  Grandmother had
insisted that if he was to wait on people, he would either have to
suit up like a Chinese man or would have to adopt Shampoo's decor.
In his modesty he had originally opted for the waiter position, but
somehow, Shampoo had convinced him otherwise.  He remembered the
incident vaguely, knowing only that she had been very adamant about
how good looking he was in her clothes and how business would be much
better if he dressed accordingly.  His modesty did not prevail over
the wants of a woman.

Konatsu gasped, realizing he had poured too much floor cleaner into
the bucket during his reverie.  He cursed himself for being so
wasteful, capping the container before setting it back in the closet.
Mourning the loss of the precious cleaning fluids, he picked up the
bucket, dropping the rag inside.

He set the bucket down at the farthest corner of the room before
dipping his hands in and swishing the rag about in the sterilized
water.  Lifting the soapy rag from the basin, he set to his task,
allowing his thoughts to wander.  He could hear Mousse clearly now
from the kitchen, having finally been turned back to human.
Apologies in both languages were issued and Shampoo's name was
repeated over and over.

All three of them had gone to a festival a couple of months ago.  It
had been a lot of fun, more fun than he could ever remember sharing
with Ukyou.  Ukyou had always been saving her money, rarely spending
it on festivals or outings with anybody.  With Ukyou as his example
to follow, Konatsu had done the same, saving what little money he
made.

Until he started working here.  The Amazons spent their money on
festivals, movies, foods and even had more now that they were not
actively wasting their funds on ways to win Ranma over as Shampoo's
husband.  When he had questioned their practice, Shampoo had pulled
him aside and explained her reasoning.  It came down to the fact that
they already had the money to go back to China with Ranma and did not
need any of the excess profits for anything.  In her village,
currency was not the means of trade, so they would have no use of
money when they did go back home.

Seeing their wisdom, Konatsu allowed himself to spend a little money
on clothes, food and the occasional outing with them.  He did not
notice the loss in savings, considering he made much more at the Cat
Cafe than he did from Ukyo.  Going from ten yen an hour to a hundred
was a significant change, though the tips were not as good as they
were at Uuchan's.  He supposed it had to do with what they were
serving.  There were thousands of ramen shops in Tokyo.

He moved the bucket further into the dining room, having finished the
first five feet from the entranceway.  He started his task anew,
running from wall to wall, pressing the rag against the floor as he
passed.  The floorboards sparkled from the cleaning, revealing they
were done.

He had a picture from that festival in the room he shared with
Mousse.  He had been dressed in a black kimono with a large blue
blossom on the front, standing beside Mousse dressed in his usual
decor.  Shampoo clung to Mousse's arm on the other side, her eyes
sparkling with glee as she looked to the booths not shown in the
picture.  Mousse had been so proud of that day, so many people
thinking he was escorting two young ladies that the Amazon lacked the
heart to discourage their assumptions.

Konatsu was certain Mousse had a copy of the picture in that photo
album: the one he had discovered two months before the festival.
That album had been a rude awakening in of itself.  He had been
tidying up the room one day and had come across an album stuffed
under Mousse's mattress.  Curious, Konatsu had sat down on his
roommate's bed and opened the cover.  The shock remained
indescribable.

There, in glossy thirteen by eights with three per page, was Shampoo.
The pictures were an assortment of bathtub scenes, bedroom scenes,
public bath scenes and the occasionaly decent scene.  Enraptured, he
had flipped through the pictures, amazed at how Mousse could have
such a collection of pornography.  There was no way Mousse could have
taken these pictures, even in his cursed form.  Konatsu twitched
slightly at a picture displaying Shampoo relieving herself sexually.

By the law of the cosmos, Mousse had walked in and dove for the
picture book, threatening to kill him if he told Shampoo of the
pictures.  Mousse had been so desperate for his silence, that the
Amazon had offered teaching him some black magic techniques before
finding out whether or not his threat had worked.  Konatsu had
accepted the training offer, holding his questions about the pictures
for a later time.

Without his kimono, the techniques Mousse taught him were useless.
Still Konatsu enjoyed the training as it gave him an excuse to wear
his favored article of clothing.  It had been a nice change of pace
from the occasional poisoning of Mousse whenever Shampoo got bored
and decided to call for Konatsu's assistance in making potions.

He looked about, startled to realize he was finished with the dining
room.  He picked up his bucket and retreated down the hallway.  The
sounds in the kitchen had ceased.  He stepped into the kitchen,
Shampoo slouching in a corner of the kitchen with her head propped up
in a palm as she leaned her elbow against the counter.  Mousse was
hugging the refrigerator, weeping.  Blinking, Konatsu crossed the
room without a word before pouring the dingy mop water into the mop
sink.

The sound of a yawn drew his attention.  He peered across the room at
Shampoo, her free hand held up to her small mouth as her eyes lowered
in exhaustion.  "Long night," she said after lowering her hand.  "I
wish Mousse would find a cure."

Mousse sobbed, hugging tighter to the appliance.  "I knew you cared
for me!" he bawled.

"He would be more useful if he stayed a man all the time," Shampoo
added before promptly yawning again.

Konatsu nodded, not sure if he should comment any further on the
matter.  He left the kitchen, intent on putting the bucket and rag
up.  After doing so, he realized there was nothing left to do but
turn in for the night.

It saddened him a little, knowing that their lives were this routine:
wake up, open store, two of them were free with the exception of the
occasional delivery until the lunch rush, then the other would be
free during the lunch rush, quick clean up, one free while one
delivers and the other maintains the store, dinner rush with all
three on staff, another quick clean up, one free while one delivers
and the other maintains the store, and final closing with all three
before going to sleep.  The only time all three got to be together
off duty was when Grandmother felt she needed the day off.

He crossed the shiny floor to the entrance, his feet padding softly
across the wooden boards.  He wondered how Ukyou was doing in Osaka.
She had not written anything to him or even Ranma.  She had truly cut
off all ties.  He doubted she would ever come back.  He would never
hear her voice again.  He was truly abandoned.

"Oh, Konatsu!" a strangled cry cut through the night air.

Konatsu shook his head, sighing at how his need to hear Ukyou was now
physically manifesting in his senses. Arms wrapped around him as a
body crashed into him in a crushing hug.  He closed his eyes,
breathing softly.  He lowered his arms around the apparition, holding
it tightly against him.

"I'm so sorry, Konatsu!" the manifestation cried into his dark
purple, sleeveless blouse.  "Why didn't I come here first?  I should
have come here first!"

He smiled, enjoying the fantasy.  It was so real.  He could feel her
breath on his exposed arm, her tears soaking into the thin material
of his blouse and her frenzied heartbeat pressed against him.  Her
hair smelled of lavendar but an overwhelming fragrance he did not
recognize pervaded the air about the apparition.  For a moment, he
felt this was real as he certainly would not imagine a fragrance he
was unfamiliar with.

Her arms tightened around him, banishing his doubts.  "If I had came
here first, it wouldn't have happened," the image moaned.  "He might
have been raped, but I wouldn't have given in.  I wouldn't have been
forced to make that decision.  Am I really that desperate, Konatsu?
Why else would I give in?"

Konatsu sighed, ignoring the ramblings.  It did not matter because
this was just a dream.  Still, fearing the dream would dissolve if he
refused to answer the question, he came up with the words he would
say.

"No, Ukyou-sama," he started calmly.  "You are strong.  I'm sure
given the situation any other person would have done the same."

"But I was willing in her room!" the girl bawled.  "I would have
given myself to him, in his drugged condition, in her room!  I can't
think of anybody with morals that would have done the same."

Konatsu frowned, and pushed the girl back.  He regarded the
sniffling, red eyed face before him with confusion.  Her eyes averted
from his but her fingers still held loosely at his sides.  Something
terrible had happened, he was certain.  This was no fantasy conjured
up by his melancholy.

"We should go inside," he suggested, twisting sideways out of her
grasp.  He gestured in, but she made no move to obey.

She shook her head.  "I'm not welcome here anymore," she muttered,
her face a twisted mask of grief and misery.  "I'm not welcome
anywhere.  I've failed Ranma in coming back and thinking I could be
his friend.  I betrayed him and Akane.  I betrayed myself."

"What is her problem?"

Konatsu looked across the dining room.  Shampoo was peering over the
serving counter, her expression confused.  Konatsu shrugged in reply,
favoring his friend with a look that begged for her help.

"Tell her to come in," Shampoo declared, disappearing back into the
kitchen.  "It looks bad if she cries on our doorstep."

With some difficulty, he forced Ukyou across the threshold, her feet
dragging.  Mousse came running across the dining room floor.  The
Amazon got on the other side of the girl and slipped one of her arms
about her neck.  Konatsu followed his example and the two dragged the
girl back into the kitchen.

"You realize how lucky you are," hissed Mousse as they stepped into
the kitchen.

Konatsu favored the Amazon with a sour look.  He hardly considered
Ukyou's miserable state a blessing for anybody.  Together, they set
the girl down on a stool in front of the sink.  Shampoo had returned
to her slouched position against the counter, watching them with mild
interest.

Ukyou continued to sob, her shoulders bobbing as the grief tore
through her frame.  Her eyes remained fixed on the floor, her arms
crossed about her in a tight hug.  Konatsu worried that she might
tumble out of the stool at any moment at how hunched forwards she
was.

"Is she going to cry all night?" Shampoo asked, her tone annoyed.

Ukyou shook her head, but the words tumbled from her lips.  "He
kissed me," she moaned.  "He told me he loved me and he kissed me.
And I liked it."

"That fiend!" Mousse growled.  "Taking advantage of her when he could
have Shampoo!  I'll make him pay!"

Mousse sprang towards the serving counter but a wave of water
intercepted him.  Shampoo tossed the emptied bucket at the duck, a
scowl on her face.

"No, not like that," Ukyou continued shaking her head.  "I was... I
took advantage of him.  He didn't know what he was doing.  Kodachi
had drugged him but by accident I became his affixation."  Ukyou
looked up from the floor but her gaze was on Shampoo instead of him.
"I tried to resist but I'm weak!  I'm too weak!"

Though the words broke Konatsu's heart, he swallowed heavily as he
stepped up beside her and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.
Her hands flew to his, and her head tilted as she caressed her cheek
against his hand.  He shuddered from the act, pitying her even more.

Shampoo got up from her seat, her hands at her sides as she regarded
Ukyou softly.  "I am sorry," Shampoo stated evenly.  "I do not know
what you want me to say."

Sniffling, Ukyou tugged Konatsu's hand down causing him to stagger
against her.  "You would have done the same, right?" the chef cried
out, her voice desperate.  "You would have given in if he had
professed his love to you and kissed you!"

Shampoo's jaw quivered, her eyes wavering.  The chinese girl looked
aside, clenching her fists.  "I would not," she declared.

"But..."

Shampoo eyes snapped on the chef, burning with anger.  "I would have
broken him in half," the Amazon continued.  "I am not like that
anymore.  I suggest you get some rest, Ukyou.  It has been a long day
for most of us."  Shampoo turned away, retreating towards the
hallway.

Konatsu stepped forward, but was unable to move far with his hand
held so tightly.  "She might need a place to stay," he said,
concerned.  "Is it okay if she stays here?"

Shampoo paused at the portal, her head lowering.  "She can stay with
me."

*****

Shan Pu could not sleep.  Ukyou's accusation fluttered through her
mind like a mad hummingbird searching every blossom for nectar.  She
held no doubt that she could have broken Ranma in half had he done
that to her.  Though an expert martial artist, drugged with a love
potion did hamper Ranma's defensive capabilities.  It would have been
a small matter to crush him in a loving embrace.

What really bothered her was would she have done it.  If Ranma came
by and asked for her hand in marriage, she was willing to say yes
with no questions asked.  She had decided to stop pursuing Ranma, but
if he came pursuing her, she was frightened she would have succumbed
like Ukyou had.

The sniffling beside her had calmed a little, meaning Ukyou would
soon be asleep.  Angry that the girl was going to find sleep before
she would, Shan Pu rolled onto her side, the covers shifting with
her.  She noted Ukyou had her back to her, a blue bulge of blankets
marking her presence.

"Calm yet?" she asked, shifting closer to the girl beneath the
blankets.  The girl's ponytail bobbed in the affirmative.  Shan Pu
moved her hand to the girl's shoulder, trying to roll Ukyou to face
her but the girl resisted.  "You want to talk?"

"Why?"

Shan Pu blinked, thinking the reason was obvious.  Most people talked
about their problems.  As a waitress and a delivery girl, she
listened to people complain all the time.  When she had first asked
why the information was being shared to her, she had been told that
it made them feel better.  In Ukyou's absence, Ranma had stopped by
for the exact same reason: to complain about his life to someone so
he could feel better about sharing it.

"Because... you will feel better when you do."

"You are much better than I am," the girl whispered breathily, the
sound rasping through the bedroom.  "Why would I want to share my
problems with you?"

At another time, Shan Pu would never had seen that comment as
anything but truth.  She was better than Ukyou: better trained,
better skilled, better looking.  But somehow with Ukyou admitting it,
the fact did not sit well with her.  It felt like she was being
brushed off, and nobody pushed her friendship away when she gave it.

"I am only concerned."

"I don't want your concern."

Shan Pu gritted her teeth, angry.  She had half a mind to kick the
impertinent girl out of the bed.  It was frustrating, trying to be
nice towards a rival whom she had fought against for almost an entire
year.  Though most of the time Akane had been the actual rival, the
others, Kodachi and Ukyou, were still forces to be reckoned with when
it came to underhanded plots.  Either of them could foil a plot just
as easily as Akane.

"What you want then?" she growled, pressing against Ukyou and
scowling down at the girl's face that turned up at her.  "You want to
stay miserable?  My conscience will not let me sleep while you cry
beside me!"  Shan Pu slipped her hand down the girl's side, her other
hand propping her up to better look down upon Ukyou.

"I just want to sleep," Ukyou snapped, her reddened eyes glaring.
"This day has been difficult enough without having to dwell over how
horrible a person I am for the thousandth time!"

"You are too tense to sleep," Shan Pu countered, "and I can not sleep
if you keep sobbing beside me."  Her hand made it's way down, pulling
up on the nightgown she had loaned to the girl for the night.  "We
talk after you relax!"

Ukyou turned into her, her expression unchanged.  "How am I supposed
to relax after..."  Ukyou jerked under her hand, sitting up so
quickly that their heads nearly clinked.  "What are you...?"  Ukyou's
breathing cut off into sharp gasps, her eyes wavering from wide to
half-closed as the girl's hands gripped the mattress tightly in her
semi-upright position.

Shan Pu continued her fervered treatment, wanting this over with
quickly.  Ukyou was not going to calm down for her and this was the
surest way to do it.  The girl might be angry afterwards, but at
least she wouldn't be tense and unable to sleep, thus making sleep
for Shan Pu impossible.

Ukyou threw her head back into the pillow emitting a strangled cry,
her hands flying up to cover her face.  "Stop!" the girl moaned
piteously through her fingers.  "I've already..."  A high pitched
squeak ended her statement as the girl shuddered.

Satisfied, Shan Pu slipped her hand free, wiping it off on the
nightgown.  It had taken less than a minute, but she was still queasy
about it.  Angrily she glared at the girl that had given her so few
options in the situation.  "Better?"  Ukyou nodded, what little of
her face, that could be seen around her fingers, flush.  "Talk now?"

"No," came the small moan.

Angry that her ploy still hadn't worked, Shan Pu barked, "Am I going
to have to do it again?"

"No!"  Ukyou's hands shot back under the covers.  The girl's eyes
were not the least bit moist with tears now.  "Don't ever do that
again!"

Shan Pu shrugged, agreeing with the girl on that matter.  "Then
talk," she said.  "What you plan to do now?"

"You've never done this to Ranma, have you?" Ukyou demanded, her eyes
wide with shock.

Shan Pu frowned at the thought.  Even though it took so little time,
Ranma would never allow it or somehow it would get interrupted.
Instead of offering either of those reasons, she decided upon the
last that came to her mind.  "Ranma never sleeps with Shan Pu wearing
nothing."

Ukyou flushed, looking away to the corner of the ceiling.  "I... I
planned to stay in Nerima to test my resolve with Ranma," the chef
started.  "I was going to be his friend and take care of Konatsu
again.  I failed on the first day."

Shan Pu sighed, seeing why it would be so devastating to have such
good intentions thrown aside so quickly.  She was thankful it had
been Ukyou and not her.  She was suspecting had it been her,
Grandmother would have had them and Ranma shipped back to China by
now with a marriage certificate in hand.

"What do you plan to do now?"

Frowning, Ukyou bit on her lower lip.  "I can't stay here," she said,
shaking her head.  "But I don't want to leave Konatsu behind again.
Oh, God, I can't believe I let you do that!  I stayed with her an
entire year, and I never let her, and I know she wanted to."

Shan Pu was not sure what to make of the girl's rambling.  It was not
like Ukyou had a chance to stop her under the conditions.  "You
should stay," Shan Pu declared, deciding to ignore the latter
comments.  "We could always use another cook so Grandmother have more
time to rest."

"No, no, no," Ukyou said, shaking her head firmly.  "I didn't train
myself to become a ramen cook.  I'm my own business.  That's the way
I like it."

Shan Pu shrugged, not seeing the problem.  "Reopen your shop," she
suggested.  "It would be nice having your competition again."

"But!"

"It's a good idea," Shan Pu said, leaning in.  "When Ranma finds the
cure, he might be upset but not at you.  He will be sad if you run
away again without giving him a chance."

"I... I..." Ukyou started, her eyes pleading.  "I need Konatsu."

"What?"  Shan Pu bristled at the thought of losing the best thing
that had happened to her businees.

"I need Konatsu," Ukyou repeated.  "I can't face Ranma without him."

Shan Pu growled, grabbing both of Ukyou's shoulders and glaring down
at the girl.  "I need Konatsu!" she snarled.  "He the only person
that keep me sane during this past year!  You know not the trouble I
have with Ranma always coming over and Mu Si thinking he owns me!"

"I need somebody," Ukyou protested meekly, shrinking in the pillow.

Shan Pu licked her lips nervously.  "Mu Si!" she declared.  "You can
have Mu Si!"

"What?"

"It perfect!" Shan Pu continued.  "Mu Si is very hard worker and he
can help you through difficult times with Ranma.  In least he can
entertain you with his silly curse!"

Ukyou struggled underneath him but was thoroughly pinned.  "No, I
want Konatsu," the chef declared.  "Konatsu is my friend."

Shan Pu released the girl, sitting up on her haunches.  She wanted to
tell the girl to go back, but that would look bad after her
encouraging Ukyou to stay.  It would be even more unfair to dish Mu
Si onto the chef because there was a huge possibility that Mu Si
would not consent to the agreement.  There was only one way she could
get this to work.

"A match," she declared.  Ukyou frowned up at her, her nightgown
shifting about as she sat up.  "We shall let the winner of the match
decide who he stays with."

"That's absurd!" Ukyou protested.  "Why not just ask Konatsu what he
wants?"

Shampoo narrowed her eyes.  "Because I do not want you deal with him
saying no," she remarked callously.  "You seem to think he come
running back to you now that you need him.  He might not.  We both
know if Mu Si wins he will chose Cat Cafe.  So if Konatsu truly want
to be with you, he can throw match.  If he does not throw match you
still have half half chance he choose you when he wins."

Ukyou breathed deeply.  "I suppose this is the only way you can get
Mousse honor bound to go with me if Konatsu chooses you," she said,
sighing.  "I'd rather go home if that happened."

Shampoo huffed, slumping down onto the pillow beside Ukyou.  "We
should sleep now and worry about that tomorrow," she ordered.  "We
can discuss details tomorrow and hold event day after that.  Deal?"

Ukyou lowered down in the pillow.  "Deal."

Despite Shan Pu's efforts, neither girl got much sleep that night.

*****

The sound of laughter roused him from his sleep.  He blinked away the
images of Ukyou holding him and telling how much she loved him,
rewarded with the sight of Mousse hunkered over the desk chuckling in
glee.  He pulled aside the covers and slipped out of his bed.

"What is it?" he asked, curious.

"I just overheard that you and I are to compete for Shampoo!" Mousse
declared.  "How ridiculous of them to think I could lose in anything
to you."

Konatsu withheld his rebuttal, knowing there were several things he
could probably best his roommate in.  He walked over to the desk and
gasped as he realized Mousse was adding another revealing picture of
Shampoo to that album.

The folder was slammed shut and Mousse spun about.  "Stop looking at
my things!" Mousse snarled.  "You don't see me glancing over your
shoulder at your pictures of your beloved Ukyou!"

Konatsu frowned.  "But I don't have any pictures of Ukyou-sama," he
stated, confused at why he would be accused of such perversity.

Mousse blinked and held up a hand to rub his chin.  "Really?  I know
a guy that could get you some," Mousse offered.

Konatsu glowered at the suggestion.  He turned about and with
deliberate actions, displayed his intention of going back to sleep.
Mousse paid him no more attention, his chuckling resuming as he
turned back to the album.

'You're lechery is at an end, Mousse,' Konatsu thought darkly,
pulling the covers over his head.  He was game for defeating Mousse,
no matter what the contest was.

*****

A long line of customers stood outside the entrance of the Cat Cafe.
Shan Pu noted with satisfaction that her little flyers had been so
successful in drawing such a large crowd.  Mu Si was certain to lose.
Mu Si's competence as a waiter was next to nothing, though Ukyou did
not know this.  All she needed was for Konatsu to choose her and
things would be perfect.

To her surprise, both had agreed to the match yesterday before the
details had even been sorted out.  It had been decided that waitering
would be the contest, and that the amount of tips each waiter
received by the end of the day would be the deciding factor as to who
the victor was.  To make things fair, Konatsu had agreed to pass the
day as a man.  He stood at his half of the restaurant, dressed in a
spare outfit of Mu Si's.

Ukyou peered over the service counter with a worried expression.  The
chef would be helping cook for the event, Grandmother expecting the
crowd to be too demanding of one chef's services.  Shan Pu was to
serve as the referee of the event when a delivery wasn't necessary.
She doubted there would be many of those, given the number of people
showing up.

"You can open the doors, Shan Pu," her grandmother called from the
kitchen.  "The crowd is getting restless."

Shan Pu nodded and opened the door.  Before she could even greet
them, the people poured into the room, shouting out orders.  Mu Si
and Konatsu charged forward, guiding people and their parties towards
tables, Mu Si occasionally guiding them elsewheres.  Konatsu dashed
to the serving counter, calling out the orders he had received before
turning back to seat more customers.

Shan Pu managed to properly greet people when the dining room was
filled to capacity.  She informed the people to patiently wait while
others were being served, approximating their wait time before
glancing at the progress of her contestants.  Konatsu was faring
well, serving up his first round of ramen bowls.  Mu Si was talking
to a plant.

Once standing room was full, Shan Pu wandered back to the kitchen and
leaned on the serving counter.  Ukyou attacked a pot of ramen with
almost as much skill as her Grandmother.  Shan Pu sighed, wishing the
cook had chosen her first offer.  It certainly would have been more
interesting with another cook around, and less stressful with another
girl her age to help her deal with Mu Si.

"This whole thing is stupid!" Ukyou shouted over the boiling water.
"Mu Si is going to lose for certain!"

Shan Pu glanced over her shoulder to witness Mu Si tripping over a
customer's bag and smashing several orders into the floor.  The
customers applauded, amused at the waiter's plight.  "I suppose," she
admitted, a small smile playing over her lips.

Konatsu bounded up to the counter, merrily calling off a string of
orders.  Ukyou frowned, handing the waiter a set of bowls.  The
waiter swept them up into his voluminous robe and pounced away to his
customers.  Shan Pu watched in amazement, realizing Konatsu must have
picked up some of Mu Si's tricks, as the boy began pulling out orders
from his sleeves to place before his customers, much to their
delight.

Several growls of annoyance came from the other side.  "This is not
what I ordered!" complained a customer.

"How can I get an order wrong when we only serve one dish?!" Mu Si
demanded of an empty chair, waving his fist.

The customer, actually seated in the next chair, stood up.  "No tip
for you!"  The customer stomped off, leaving a flustered Mu Si
behind.

"Mu Si!" she called.  As expected the boy sprang instantly in her
direction, knocking a couple customers down in his way.  These
customers also stomped off angrily, leaving no tips for the boy.

"Yes, Shan Pu!" the boy cried out, holding the hand of another
customer.

"Get back to work!"

*****

She did not like the smug look on Shampoo's face.  It was obvious
Mousse was going to lose so that meant Konatsu would win.  If Konatsu
won, Shampoo had to know Konatsu was going to choose the Cat Cafe
over her Uuchan's.

The revelation weighed heavily upon her soul.  Konatsu did not want
to be with her any more than anybody else.  She was utterly defeated
with no hope of compensation for the pains she endured.  She would go
home, into the arms of the understanding girl she had spent the past
year with.  And this time she would give in since it made no sense to
resist.  If she could give in to Shampoo, a girl that did not really
care for her, she could give in to a girl obsessed with her.

"No!" she cried out, shaking the pot furiously.  "I will not lose!  I
will not surrender!"

The Grandmother looked over at her curiously.  "Good heavens, child,"
the old woman drawled.  "You aren't part of this competition."

Ignoring the remarks, Ukyou grabbed a wooden spoon and hurled it in
Konatsu's direction.  It struck the waiter in the back of his head,
sending him sprawling forwards into a table.  Bowls shattered and
customers were splattered.  Angrily they walked out the door leaving
no tips behind.

Shampoo turned incredulous eyes upon her.  "What you doing?" the
chinese girl demanded.  "You not supposed to interfere!"

"And what do you call calling Mousse every five minutes?" Ukyou shot
back angrily, serving up another set of bowls.  "We both know he'll
drop everything at the sound of your voice!"

Shampoo giggled, shaking her head.  "Silly, it no matter," the Amazon
declared.  "Konatsu will win this match for sure."

"Oh, yea!" Ukyou fumed, listening to Konatsu rant off a new string of
orders.  "We'll see about that!"

Ukyou turned back to her pot and snatched a container of dish soap
from the sink.  Dumping the contents inside, she tossed the emptied
container to the floor, stirring the pot with wicked glee.  Soap suds
bubbled around the noodles, promising digestive troubles for future
consumers.

"How you doing?" Shampoo asked behind her.

"Six hundred yen so far," a happy Konatsu chirped, sweeping up the
bowls of soap laden ramen.  Ukyou cackled in glee as she watched him
dart back to the tables, serving up her evil concoction.

"How you doing?" Shampoo asked.

"You really do care!" Mu Si cried out, hugging an innocent bystander
who promptly flattened him.

To her amazement, nobody complained about her soap bowls.  Konatsu
came back, sometimes asking for seconds.  Ukyou's brow twitched,
serving up more of the potent stuff.  She would have to do more if
Konatsu was to lose.  She needed an ally.

"Mousse, I need you in here now!" Ukyou shouted.

Mousse instantly appeared at her side, the sounds of angry customers
rising in the background.  "My darling, Shampoo!" the Amazon
declared, throwing his arms about her.

Ukyou squawked, slamming an elbow in his head that went unnoticed.
"I'm Ukyou, you moron!" she shouted.

His grip relaxed as he stood up and adjusted his glasses.  "Oh,
sorry," he apologized.

"You must win this!" she hissed, slipping behind him.  She ripped a
strand off her apron and tied it on the leg of one of his glasses.
She took the other leg and tied the other end of the strand tight so
his glasses could not be removed.

"That hurts!" he protested.

"Would you rather lose!" Ukyou growled.  She ripped two more strands
of her apron off and rolled them into small balls.  "Pretend like
your deaf!  Have them show you the number of bowls they want!"

"What?" he asked before he groaned as a wadded ball was thrust into
each ear.

Ukyou turned him about and kicked him in the butt towards the kitchen
exit.  He staggered but promptly took off down the hall and back to
his tables.  She hoped that would be enough.  'Now, back to
sabotaging Konatsu,' she thought grimly.

She turned and paused, noting a black folder on the floor of the
kitchen.  Frowning, she picked it up.  When she opened it, her eyes
widened.

*****

Shan Pu giggled, knowing the day was already won.  Lunch rush had
come and gone, and although Mu Si was doing much better than she had
ever seen him do, he was still far behind in tips.  It was sad,
knowing that there was a good chance she would still lose Konatsu
even if he won, but at least it was giving her a good laugh at Mu
Si's expense.

It did bother her a little that no matter how loudly she called, Mu
Si ignored her.  That was something that never happened.

Without warning, Konatsu gasped from one of the tables.  Shan Pu
peered curiously over at the waiter, noting the smiling faces of the
customers around him and the very generous tips they were leaving on
the table.  She smiled at the sight, knowing Konatsu was a very good
waiter to get that much of a tip.  She wandered over to congratulate
him.

"That's one hell of a picture," she heard the customer declare, "but
I don't think you should be leaving those in the ramen bowls for
tips.  We were going to tip you anyways."

"B-b-but I d-d-didn't..." Konatsu stammered in protest, holding a wet
picture in his hands.

Shan Pu walked around the table, frowning.  "What you talking about?"
she asked.

The men at the table gasped collectively before standing and bowing
politely.  "Excuse us, miss," the one that had spoken declared.  "We
were just leaving."

The trio of customers bolted for the door, two still bearing small
rectangles in their hands that was similar to the one Konatsu held.
Shan Pu seized the rectangle from Konatsu, the boy standing stock
still.

Shan Pu's breath caught in her throat at the sight before her.  The
picture was of her, her bedroom with the sheets thrown back and her
fingers doing...  She flushed a dark red, turning wide eyes upon
Konatsu.

"It's not mine!" Konatsu quickly declared.  "Mu Si has a lot of them!
He showed them to me!"

Her jaw quivered, realizing many eyes were upon her.  "You... you..."

"I'm so sorry, Shampoo," the boy lowered his head, unable to meet her
gaze.  "I didn't know.  I'll find every last one of them."

There were more pictures.  And her 'friend' had been serving them to
these people for tips so he could win.  For her or for Ukyou, it did
not matter now.  It was unforgivable.  She grabbed both of his
shoulders and slammed her knee up into his face.  The boy crumpled at
her feet, the sound of applause ringing about her.

She whirled upon the crowd, her eyes blazing.

"Shut up!" she shouted, waving the picture in her hand.  "Hand them
over now or I will kill every last one of you for this!"  For a
moment, all sound stopped.  Then several protests against her
behavior issued forth, but she growled.  "To hell with being polite!
If you were exposed like this would you be happy!  Hand them over!"

Mu Si continued taking orders, oblivious to her situation.  Her lips
trembled as she watched him, ignorant of how his pictures, pictures
she had no doubt was his, were tearing down her last vestige of
pride.  People came by, placing wet rectangles in her hand as she
continued regarding him with murderous hatred.  When no more were
placed in her hands, she stalked off to the hallway.

Ukyou stepped into her path, her eyes soft.  "I'm sorry, Shampoo,"
Ukyou declared.  "I wasn't thinking..."

Shampoo shoved the girl aside, ignoring whatever she was saying.
"You can have Konatsu," she stated coldly, retreating up the stairs.
"I have no need for a friend like that."

*****

Ukyou placed the board of her restaurant up, showing to passersby
that the store was open.  It had been costly to buy back her old
place, but the money she had been saving that year had proven enough
to pacify the souvenier shopowner.  She was borderline broke, but
back in business.

She glanced over at Konatsu, still sitting on a stool tapping fingers
on the countertop.  He had refused to talk much after the incident,
especially when she admitted to slipping the pictures into the bowls.
She walked over to his side, pressing against his kimono as she
placed each of her hands on a shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Konatsu," she said for the hundredth time.  "I was scared
you would chose her over me."

"You should have given me the chance," Konatsu declared glumly.  "I
wouldn't abandon you.  Friends don't do that."

"Did she mean that much to you?" Ukyou asked, slipping her arms
around him and resting her chin on his shoulder.  She could not take
the rejection any longer.  Somebody had to accept her.  Anybody would
do.

"She was my friend," Konatsu said, not responding to her hug or her
closeness.  "I'm afraid she will never forgive me.  You should have
told her the truth."

"I will," Ukyou assured him.  "She isn't talking to me, right now.  I
understand she isn't even coming down to eat anymore.  She needs
time."

Konatsu shrugged, not responding.

"I think I know who took those pictures," Ukyou declared.  "He's even
taken some of me, I suspect.  You wouldn't be opposed to us closing
down the shop and thrashing him together, would you?"  She tilted her
head aside, pressing her cheek against his shoulder.  At least he was
not pushing her away.  It would have to do.

"It would help pass the time," he muttered.

"I can't remember his name, but I'm sure Nabiki knows where he
lives," Ukyou commented.  "He works for her from time to time or so
he claimed."

"Gosunkugi?"

He stiffened in her grasp.  She lifted her head up peering into the
face that was turned upon her.  "Yea, I think that was his name," she
agreed.  She arched an eyebrow at him.  "Why would you know that?
You don't own any of pictures of me, do you?"

Konatsu blushed and nodded.  His hand disappeared into his kimono as
he grabbed something inside and withdrew it.

"You pervert!" Ukyou growled, letting him go and grabbing a nearby
stool.  She turned around and clobbered her friend in the head with
seat.  "How dare you have a picture of me without my permission!"

Konatsu gurgled, falling in a heap on the floor.  His fingers
twitched as the photograph he had been holding flittered in the air
down towards him.  Huffing in disbelief, she dropped the stool atop
her offender and snagged the photo out of the air.

Her eyes widened as she looked upon the picture; a cheery expression
on her face as she smiled at the camera with okonomiyaki still
sizzling on the grill.  It had been more than a year ago, back when
Konatsu had first moved in when this picture had been taken.  Konatsu
had taken it, when he was trying to figure out how to use a camera
back then.  She had no idea he had ever developed the film.

She knelt down beside Konatsu and tugged him up into a sitting
position.  "Oh, I'm so sorry, Konatsu!" she cried out, hugging him as
her tears fell down her cheeks.  "I'm so sorry!"

-----

Once again I write an Ukyou fic.  No surprise there...  Well, I
promise that this is the last of the series that will be dealing with
the misery of Ukyou's life.  ^^  This story for the most part took
upon one element that I neglected to put in Roommates (pornographic
photos that got somebody in trouble).  True Gosunkugi did get in
trouble by his parents afterwards, but it was a gag, not a serious
event like I originally intended.

My Mousse characterization is completely silly, and as he has no
narration in this piece, you can assume he's behaving as Mousse
would.  Cologne was completely neglected, leaving this a story
between Konatsu, Shampoo and Ukyou.

My apologies for those of you that can't believe Shampoo did that to
Ukyou.  I've been dancing around the issue of sexuality for so
long...  Case in point, it was an act but not an act of affection.
And mind you this was no long drawn out chore on Shampoo's part.  If
she can do the memory erasing shampoo in a matter of seconds, I'm
sure she could relax Ukyou in the same amount of time.  People do
stupid things, and when stupid things take less than a minute to do,
they are bound to do it sooner or later.

Other than that, I hope this turned out well.  I've got three more
intended: Akane, Tsubasa (again) and Ryouga.

Comments and criticism are always welcome.

zinyadel@hotmail.com

Ciaow


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