Aishuu Offers:
Secrets of the Sohma 
Mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Disclaimers: Fruits Baskets is most assuredly not
mine. It belongs to Takaya Natsuki.
Dedication: Ina-chan for all her help and emails, both
long and contemplative, and quick and informative.

Part Two: Penumbra

I had a lot to think about after that. 

It's not the nature of a teenager to think strongly on
things from a balanced perspective; we tend to think
only of ourselves and how everything relates to us....
But this time, I think I was entitled to that. Haru,
Yuki, Kyou and Tohru had certainly given me enough to
ponder. 

The next day at school, I found my popularity even
more overwhelming than it usually was. The girls all
were begging to be invited over to my house or have me
get pictures of my cousins. Even Sakurada-sensei was
nicer to me, offering extra help after school, if I
needed it. The idea was ridiculous, since I was one of
her top students. 

"Momo-chan?" Hisae asked after I fended off the
twentieth attempt by yet another girl to get Yuki's
picture. "I..." She lowered her eyelashes, and I could
see that she was about to ask the question I was
learning to dread. 

"Not you, too!" I exclaimed. "I can't get pictures of
them... I don't even have them myself!" I pointed out,
sounding sharper than I had intended. 

"But- can't you ask? I'm sure Hatsuharu-sama and
Kyou-sama aren't camera shy, and if Yuki-sama is clan
head..." Nakuru was the one who chimed in this time. 

I gave them both death glares. "This was the first
time they've ever deigned to have anything to DO with
me, and now the school's making them into public
property!" I tried not to pout, and I definitely tried
not to think on how Nakuru, who was usually cheerfully
levelheaded, was addressing my cousins as "sama." 

Hisae sighed, and her dark brown eyes grew dreamy.
"Normally I'd side with you... But... Your cousins are
just so handsome... They belong to the entire female
population." 

"Yuki-niisama's engaged to Tohru-san," I pointed out
tartly. "And Kyou-niisan is dating Kagura-neesan...
And can you imagine what your parents would do if you
brought Haru-niisan home?" I asked. 

My friends feigned a swoon. "It'd be worth it... Don't
you think, Sae?" Nakuru asked. 

"Oh, they'd kill me, but it'd be so worth it!" Hisae
agreed. 

"Traitors," I muttered. 

Hisae must have noticed that I was near my breaking
point. "Will you see them again anytime soon?" she
asked.

I blinked at her suspiciously. "I don't live on the
main compound, so unless there's some pressing reason,
I won't see them until New Year's.  Well... until
Tohru and Yuki's wedding, and that's-"

I stopped abruptly, remembering the invitation to the
engagement party that had come in the mail several
weeks before.  Yuki and Tohru would be hosting a clan
gathering that very weekend to celebrate their
approaching nuptials, and though I hadn't planned on
going, I could.  

"Yes?" Nakuru prodded.

"There's a party at the compound this weekend, for
Yuki-niisama and Tohru-san's engagement... I hadn't
intended on going, but..." I trailed off, thinking
about the possibilities.

Hisae studied my pale features. "Your family really
doesn't like you much, do they?"

"Well, they've always isolated me before. This was the
first time I've ever spoken to them, and it was...
nice. I enjoyed it. The Sohma family is very large,
and it's close. I always thought it was because Mama
was gaijin and Papa married her without approval, but
that can't be it." Hatsuharu's quiet words before he
departed made me seriously doubt that, but it wasn't
something I could share with my friends.

It was Sohma business.

"You should go," Nakuru told me, losing all her
giddiness over my cousins, and reverting to the friend
I had always relied on.  "It's important to you to
know about your family, isn't it?"

 "More than anything," I agreed.

	"If they showed up here, it must mean they are
willing to talk to you," Nakuru continued logically.

	I nodded, but a part of me questioned that.  I
remembered Haru's hints of someone working behind the
scenes on my behalf, and I knew that clan politics had
come into play.  However... who could it be?  Papa was
not that influential in the family. He may have owned
one of the businesses, but there were many. We were a
very rich family.

	Hisae winked at me.  "Besides, even if they don't
talk to you, I'm sure seeing Yuki-sama in a kimono
will be worth it!" she teased.

	"He's my cousin!" I growled before pouncing on her,
intent on inflicting light bodily damage.  The three
of us laughed merrily, but seeds of doubt nagged my
heart.

*


I pressed my hands over the gold kimono I had selected
to wear to Yuki and Tohru's engagement party. It was a
very large deal, and I knew that most of the family
would be coming. Papa had been surprised at my
insistence that I was old enough to go, but he humored
me, going so far as to purchase the new outfit.

Mama had been more worried, since she wasn't fond of
visiting the Main House. I had told her that I would
be fine, and that I had met Tohru-san and I was sure
she would be kind. "Tohru-san will be surrounded by
members of the family who want to offer their
congratulations. They won't pay attention to you, and
Tohru will barely have time to say hello," she argued.
"And I really don't want to go and face another round
of alienation." 

I smiled at her, picking up her hands and squeezing
them reassuringly. "The ones who came to my conference
day at school were very kind, and Yuki-niisama was one
of them. They'll follow his lead," I told her gently.
"I want this, Mama." 

She must have seen the determination in my eyes, for
she nodded slowly. "I'll help you get ready, but I'm
not going," she said with stubbornness matching my
own. "You need to learn what they're like on your own.
I think you're old enough to see that your father's
family is not..." she paused, searching for a word,
"kind. I have no idea why they showed up at your
school, but they had reasons of their own." 

I was reflective as I remembered Hatsuharu's final
words to me. They had reasons, but I was sure they
were good ones. "Mama, they are my family," I told her
forcefully. "I am a Sohma... I want to be one of them
in truth, as well as in name." 

Mama reached out, her arms creeping around me, and
then she was embracing me more tightly than I ever
remembered. "Oh, Momo," she whispered, and tears
beaded on her cheeks. 

That was how I found myself outside the compound
doors, alone. Papa was unable to come because of a
meeting, and Mama had remained true to her promise not
to go. The compound was so huge, and I felt so small.
I shivered a bit, and wondered if I was crazy, to
confront the family by myself. Still, I squared my
shoulders and put my chin up, and with dainty steps, I
entered. 

People were everywhere, and I felt lost in the sea.
Everyone was so beautiful and elegant, and I felt like
I was a small fish in the swirl of activity that I
didn't understand. 

"Who's she?" I heard one of them whisper. 

"It's that women's child," was the spiteful reply. 

What was I doing there? I wondered as I felt the
disdainful eyes of some of the older women swipe over
me. I started to back away towards the door, hoping to
make a graceful exit before too many people saw I was
there. I wasn't wanted... 

"You're not going to let them win so easily, are you?"
a quiet voice asked, and I looked over to see
Hatsuharu looking down on me with those silvery eyes
that didn't miss anything. His clothes were entirely
black, contrasting with his white hair strikingly, and
his arms were folded across his chest. The women who
had been whispering swept away in confusion when they
saw him begin to speak to me.

 "I-" I began, but was unable to lie to him. "I'm so
out of place here," I said softly. 

"Make a place for yourself, Momo. There are those who
don't want you here, but it's important that you join
the clan," he informed me, coming to my side. His face
was expressionless, but there was an intensity to him
that I found compelling. 

"Why? Why are you being so kind to me? What are the
secrets you hinted to me about that you seem to think
I can help with?" Haru's eyes fell away from my face.
"I promised not to tell." I gritted my teeth when he
remained resolutely silent. "Who can tell me?" I
demanded, realizing that it was futile to threaten
him.  He was a good foot taller than I was, thirty
kilos heavier, and much more highly regarded than I
could ever hope to be. I looked around at the members
of the clan, trying to decide which ones would deign
to talk to me.  

"The person who has the most right to tell you won't
for fear of hurting you," he answered long after I had
given up hope of him telling me anything. "Your mother
doesn't even remember, and your father- he's too
weak," Haru said scornfully. 

"Papa's not weak!" I argued. Then what he said
registered. "Would that person who has the right be
the one who sent you four to my school for my
conferences?" I asked. 

Haru sighed a bit, but a look of satisfaction sparkled
in his eyes. I had figured out what he wanted me to
know, apparently. "I won't go into this, Momo-chan,
but he is. If anyone is deserving of the clan's hate,
it's your father, Sohma Mitsuru. But that doesn't
matter right now. Tonight is about celebration, and if
there's one thing this family does well, it's throw a
party. Would you like to see Tohru and Yuki to offer
your congratulations?" 

I perked up, relieved to get off the dark subject.
Hearing my father described so negatively made me
uncomfortable. "I'd like to, but I doubt I'll be able
to get near them." 

"I'll get you in," Haru promised. He offered his hand
to me, and I shyly took it. His hand was surprisingly
soft, and I blushed as he guided me through the crowd
to the largest house on the compound where the center
of the party was. 

I heard the family whisper as we wove through the
masses, but Haru was highly ranked. He was able to cut
through them like they weren't there, and since I was
beside him, I was treated with the same deference.
Before I knew it, I stood before Yuki and Tohru. 

They were each dressed formally, though not in kimonos
as I had been expecting. Yuki was wearing a
Chinese-style outfit made of purple and black with
elaborate embroidery, while Tohru was wearing a
beautiful white and yellow creation that flowed around
her like a young girl's dream. Tohru was beaming at
whoever approached them with genuine happiness, but
Yuki seemed more reserved. It was only when his eyes
fell on his fianc�e that he gentled. I hoped that
someday, someone would look at me like that. 

"Yuki, Tohru..." Haru said quietly. 

Yuki's eyes narrowed a bit as they focused on my face,
then he smiled at me. "Hello, Momo-chan. It's nice to
see you." 

Tohru was less hesitant. She left Yuki's side, and
flung her arms around me joyfully. "I'm so happy you
came!" she said, and her sincerity was unquestionable.


"I wanted to wish you both the best," I said shyly, as
my arms wrapped around her in return. She was so warm,
and she smelled like strawberries and spring rain.
Hugging her was like embracing a warm summer's day.

"That's so kind of you," she replied. Tohru pulled
back a moment later, going to take Yuki's hand. Their
fingers laced together with familiarity, and the
loving look they exchanged spoke volumes. 

Haru pushed me forward, and I stood before my clan
head and his intended. 

"Did your parents come?" Yuki asked. 

"Papa had to work, and Mama..." I trailed off, trying
to think of a social lie, but finding myself unable to
come up with one that his clear violet eyes wouldn't
pierce right through. 

Tohru gave me a smile, rescuing me graciously. "How
about you go and enjoy the party? Yuki and I have a
lot of people we need to talk to, but I'd like to talk
to you some more!" she said. 

I felt my smile bloom at her wish to have me there.
"I'd like that," I said. 

Yuki gave me a considering look, surveying me from
head to feet, then bent forward and kissed me on the
cheek. "Have fun, cousin." 

I blushed a brilliant shade of red, and a hushed
silence surrounded us as Haru led me away to a table
that had been set up. There were many houses on the
compound with various activities going on, but for
Haru to sit with me here, after Yuki had treated me so
warmly was a clear sign that I was to be acknowledged.


My shunning was over. 

We were on the side, but had a wonderful view of what
was going on. The platter in front of us was full of
food, but I was too giddy to eat. My stomach was
unsettled, and I wondered if I would ever calm down. I
had been acknowledged after so long in front of the
family by Yuki, the clan head. I was wanted, at last.
It was a wonderful feeling. 

I grinned at Haru. "I was so nervous!" I confessed
after expelling a breath I hadn't realized I had been
holding onto. "I was afraid he was going to ignore
me." 

"Yuki wouldn't do that. He's very different than
Akito." His eyes darted over to where Tohru and Yuki
were welcoming Sohma Hatori, the family's physician. I
had never seen him, although he took care of Sohma
clan members exclusively.  Whenever I was sick, Papa
called an expensive, but outside, expert.  A small
grin played on Haru's lips as he returned his
attention to me.  "Yuki is nice, once you get to know
him."

I stared at Haru as I realized that he had been in on
what had happened. "You knew he was going to
acknowledge me..." I accused him. 

"We had discussed it," Haru told me, leaning over and
taking a grape off the platter. "The sins of the past
aren't your fault." 

"I think..." I whispered, staring at my hands, "I
think those sins you hinted to me were a shadow over
my life." 

"Oh?" Haru asked, leaning forward a bit in interest. 

"When I was little, I was terribly shy," I told Haru.
"I always clung to Mama's skirts, and I couldn't
really talk that well." 

"I remember," Haru said, and his expression was
neutral. "What changed?"

"One day, when I was in fourth grade, I got a card
from a secret admirer. It told me all the things they
liked about me, and how they wished I would smile more
often, because I had such a beautiful smile." My voice
grew wistful. "I never did find out who sent it, but
it really helps to know that someone admires you like
that. After that, it became easier to talk. And I
began to make friends, and things continued to cycle
until I was suddenly the most popular girl in school."


"All because of a card?" 

"We change people's lives without knowing, Haru-
sometimes a simple word or gesture can have an
enormous impact on someone, and change the course of
their lives." 

He thought on my words for a moment. "I think I know
some people like that. They change us just by
existing. They're special." 

I nodded. "Some people are catalysts who always do it,
but we all have that power." I fiddle with one of my
long curls, before realizing I was doing it. It was a
nervous habit of mine. "I think I was so unsure
because my family hated me so much. Whenever I came to
a gathering, I was ignored." I felt moisture gather in
my eyes, but I refused to shed tears. I did not want
pity. "I wanted so much to be a part of the family,
but I could never become close to it." 

"The Sohma family is not all it's cracked up to be. Do
you remember Akito?" 

I nodded. "I saw him once or twice, but he never spoke
to me." 

"You're lucky. He was very cruel," Haru said, lost in
memory, and his fingers toyed with the edge of his
sleeve thoughtlessly. "Very cold and manipulative, and
hard to love." 

"Why isn't Yuki clan head in truth?" I asked daringly.
"Papa says that he's merely the interim, but I don't
get it." 

My distant cousin entertained one of those thoughtful
pauses he seemed so fond of. "You may bear the name
Sohma, but you're not really one of us," he told me
after a moment. "Only a real Sohma will understand.
The Clan Head will be born to the position, as Yuki is
to his, and I am to mine." 

"A real Sohma?" I echoed, feeling as though my heart
was being stomped on. Haru was being kind to me, I
knew, taking time to explain to me. Yuki had accepted
me, I had believed, but now Haru was telling me I
wasn't one of them.  I was confused and injured.

"Your father is one, much to his despair. Your mother
will never be one. She had the chance, and it broke
her." His gray eyes gained more silver, and I fell
into the depths, feeling like I was drowning in
ageless wisdom and secrets I couldn't understand. 

"Haru... They don't hate me and Mama because we're
gaijin, do they?" I asked softly. 

He shook his head. "There's been others who married
into the family, Momo. Your mother did something that
cannot be forgiven," he replied, and his voice was
just as low as mine. 

We watched the other members of the family move
towards Yuki, and I watched as he spoke to them. Tohru
was by his side, and there was a reverence for her
from some of the members I found touching. 

"Everything can be forgiven," I told him, believing it
with all my heart. 

He studied me, and I noticed how his eyes, too, went
over to where Tohru stood. She was talking to one of
my cousins, Kisa, waving her hands with delight, as
Kisa gazed at her with adoration.  Haru's eyes
softened. "You sound like Tohru, a bit. But
forgiveness can not be given until it is asked for,
and your mother does not know to ask for it." 

"What did she do?" I asked. I desperately wanted to be
one of those in the crowd, to join in the engagement
party, rather than sitting on the sidelines. I still
felt the chill in the air, and I knew that Haru had
been right about me not being one of them, despite
Yuki's acknowledgement. I was not to be treated
cruelly anymore, but that did not mean I was to be let
in on those secrets that danced around me.

He considered my question carefully, and I knew he was
trying to figure out how to word the answer so as not
to give too much away. "She was selfish. She seized
her own happiness at the expense of another." 

"I don't think Mama is very happy with the way the
Sohma family treats her," I replied. 

"She's luckier than she deserves," Haru said, and his
eyes flashed, and I realized that the gentleness I had
seen in him was fading away. His face was becoming
wild, and I was afraid of him suddenly. Haru was
transforming before my eyes into something
frightening.

"Haru," I said, pulling back a bit. I didn't know what
else to do, and I had the feeling that no one else
would rescue me should he lose complete control of the
temper I could see rising in his quicksilver eyes.

"If I had my way, she'd be dead." He smiled wickedly,
and leaned in close to me. "She should be grateful
that being ignored is all she gets. The Sohma family
isn't -" 

"Haru!" a voice snapped. We both turned in unison to
see Kyou standing there, with Kagura next to him. Kyou
had a vein pulsing at his temple, and Kagura wore a
look of long-suffering exasperation. 

Kagura came over to me and patted me on the shoulder.
"You'd better step back," she warned. "This could get
ugly." 

And it did, but not in the way she was anticipating.
It got uglier than any of us could have foreseen. 

"What? I'm merely telling the princess some home
truths," he snapped, and he rose to his feet, glaring
at Kyou. I curled up a bit inside, but Kagura held
onto my shoulder, preventing me from retreating. I had
to watch; for once, I was a pivotal part of the
family, but not the way I wanted to be. 

"Don't take anything Haru says too seriously right
now," Kagura whispered to me. "He has a bit of a split
personality... We call him 'Black Haru' when he loses
his temper. He hardly remembers it, and it's not the
real him. I wonder what triggered it, though. Kyou
wasn't around, and I don't see anyone else who tends
to inflame him..." She gave me a curious glance. 

"We were talking about my mother," I confessed. I
wondered if Kagura hated her, too. I had only met
Kagura a handful of times, but she had always seemed
nice enough.

"Ah." That one syllable was layered with emotion, and
Kagura seemed to shut a piece of herself off. 

Meanwhile, Kyou and Haru were escalating. Haru was
leaning menacingly close to Kyou, and ranting
incoherently. Kyou wasn't much better, yelling about
childhood incidents, and how Haru was nowhere near
Yuki's level, so not even to bother trying to
fighting. Finally, Haru pushed what must have been the
last trigger. "Well, it doesn't matter that you're a
professional martial artist! Yuki still ties you into
knots without trying!"

 Combustion. 

Kyou exploded into action, and Haru laughed wildly,
parrying the blow easily. I gasped, raising a hand to
cover my mouth, but Kagura just sighed. "Don't worry.
If it gets bad enough, Yuki will separate them." I
glanced over at the slender man who served as our clan
head, and wondered if he could really manage the two
wild combatants. The concern in my eyes must have been
vivid, because Kagura laughed. "Don't worry! Yun-chan
can tie them both up with one hand behind his back!"
she said, and she giggled a bit. 

I over at Yuki again, and this time he met my eyes
briefly. A glimmer of something in those misty
lavender depths sent shivers through me, and I didn't
doubt Kagura was right. "Why are they fighting?" I
asked. 

"It's a long story, but I like to blame it on pride.
Or hierarchy. Haru's ranked higher in the family than
Kyou, but Kyou's the better fighter. It's a bit of a
balancing act so they can be friends." She watched
them fight, and growled when Haru tried to bite Kyou.
"FOUL!" she yelled. 

I blinked a bit. They were insane. I couldn't believe
I was related to them. I watched as Kyou's foot raced
for Haru's face, feeling like I was watching a martial
art's drama. Then it clicked, and I started to laugh.
"You're such hams," I told them. "You're trying to
distract me..." 

Haru smiled slightly as he ducked a punch from Kyou.
"I'm not, but Kyou certainly is. I think you're old
enough to confront some pain. The others...." He
glared fiercely at Kyou, who moved over to stand in
front of me, as though to protect me from Haru. 

"She doesn't deserve it," Kyou retorted. "She doesn't
need to bear any suffering. Let her, at least, be
innocent. She's a child." 

"So was he!" Haru snapped. Dead silence met Haru's
explosive statement, and Kagura's hand fell away from
me. 

I felt myself pale and I started to shake as Haru's
hints about something terrible in my mother's past
gelled. "He?" I whispered. "My mother... did something
to a child?" 


~*~*~*~*~*~
END CHAPTER TWO

Notes: This is an informal family celebration - just
something I figured the Sohma clan would do. It's not
based off any element of the Japanese culture, but the
Sohma defy a lot of Japanese culture. I decided not to
have Yuki and Tohru wear kimonos, since there will be
other celebrations that do follow proper Japanese
procedure. Oh, and the dress Tohru wears is an Ayame
creation.  ^_^

We see the Sohma compound in episode 8 of the anime.
I'm playing it that the party is ALL over the
compound, but that Yuki and Tohru are in the main
house. Only the highly ranked members (the Jyunishi
and those they invite) would be allowed to linger
here, while everyone comes in, offers their best
wishes, and get out!

Penumbra has four definitions (I checked because it's
such a cool word - originally this chapter was going
to be called "Hatsuharu" but it took a direction I
hadn't anticipated so it needed to be renamed!).  The
ones I feel apply are: 
A partial shadow, as in an eclipse, between regions of
complete shadow and complete illumination.
An area in which something exists to a lesser or
uncertain degree.
An outlying surrounding region; a periphery.

Thanks to Lyra for the edit.

Remember, feedback is something writers like, crave,
and keeps them prioritized and moving! 



=====
Work as though you don't need the money
Dance as though no one is watching
Sing as though no one can hear you
Love as though you have never been hurt
Live as though heaven is on earth
Mailing List: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quicksilver/
Fanfiction: http://www.midnightrevolution.org/quicksilver/

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