On Tue, 2003-01-21 at 19:15, Ben wrote:
Tanuki To Ryuu
"Try fighting in a tatsumaki," Kenshin answered with a grin.
"That's not humanly possible," Kaoru dismissed rather quickly before she
realized just who her husband is. She stopped walking and gave Kenshin a
look of disbelief. "You FOUGHT in a tatsumaki?"
Kenshin turned and gave his innocent 'who, me?' look. "Umm, yeah, it was
an accident really," he answered modestly. Kaoru marched down to Kenshin
and looked him squarely in the face. "Oro? What's wrong, Kaoru?"
And here's my only real critique. This is where I'd sacrificed
linguistic authenticity for reader comprehension. I had to read several
paragraphs down to realize that Kenshin was fighting in a TORNADO!
Might be best to have Kaoru and Kenshin say so.
Steven P. Cornett
cornetts@siscom.net
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