The characters of the Ranma 1/2 universe are the
creation and possession of the brilliant Rumiko
Takahashi. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi and her
licensees (Shogakukan Inc., Kitty-Fuji TV, Viz
Communications Inc.) No copyright infringement is
intended.

Many thanks to:
D-chan, for encouragement and invaluable time taken from
her own writing to pre-read for me.
Read D-chan's stories at:
http://www.geocities.com/ayongedarling/
Please sign the guest book and let her know what you think
of the page and her artwork as well. ^_O

ALSO:
T.H. Tiger, for enjoying my story, and coming up with
some nifty ideas I wish I'd thought of. Perhaps in my next
story. *_O

And:
  SkyeFire, who along with Bickham Jourdan
have given me a lot of feedback.

As well as:
Dave Menard, Esa Karjalainen,and Harold
Ancell who took time to write and offer comments. Thanks.

And thanks also to the many other people who wrote
simply to tell me how much they enjoyed the story. I'm
trying to reply to each of you individually.
In the meantime - - Thank You very much. ^_*
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
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Chapter: 30
Diao hu li shan
(Lure the tiger from the mountain)

Eight Months later:

      "I have failed you," Kodachi said miserably, prostrating
herself before Kasumi. "I can only offer my life in expiation of
my failure." She pulled a tantou from the inside of her stark
white robe and lay it at Kasumi's feet.

      "You're mixing your fantasies, sweetheart." Kasumi
patted the cushion beside her. "Why don't you have some tea
and tell us about it?"

      A little uncertainly, Kodachi sat beside Kasumi, eyes
downcast. There was a nip in the air and the trees in the garden
were bare of leaves, making the warmth of the charcoal hibachi
welcome.

      "If it were a matter of mere money," Kodachi started,
"I would beggar the Kunou fortune. But . . . the corporations
that bought the mortgage desperately want this property for
development. Any change in their plans could cause . . .
problems."

      "They're overextended, using overvalued or worthless
paper as security and unless they keep building, they lose their
government subsides?" Nabiki summarized, putting aside a
thick folder she'd been reading. "And when they went under,
they'd take their creditors with them? And the banks who hold
their notes?"

      "Yes." Kodachi confirmed. "If Kami-sama himself
stood on this spot, they would have to build atop him, or face
utter ruin."

      "Then, it's all over." Souun spoke quietly, staring into
his cup. "The house, the doujou . . . we're going to lose it all?"

      "You will not suffer, I swear it!" Kodachi replied
earnestly. "The Kunou estate is large, far larger than father,
brother and I need. I would be honored - -  "

      Souun held up a hand to stop her. "Kimeko gave me
her name, her home and," he looked around the table at his
daughters, "the most precious gift a man could ask for." He
sighed heavily, "and I wasted it all." He inclined his head, "I
would be most grateful for any help you offer."

      *Well, hell," Nabiki thought, amazed as always with
her father's change for the better, *I'd have shot him myself if
I'd known . . .*

      Tendou Souun had made a complete physical recovery
from his wound, other than the loss of a portion of bowel and
stomach. His mental recovery had been no less than astounding
and he'd become a _real_ father again, rather than a bumbling
caricature; to the extent of reopening the doujou and finding
students. Paying students.

      "When do we have to move?" Kasumi asked quietly.

      "By the end of the month," Nabiki replied, referring to
the folder in her lap.

      "It's better not to put it off," Ukyou added, coming
from the kitchen with a tray of fresh okonomoyaki. "It would
be hard to watch . . .better to leave early and with good
memories."

      "Where is Akane-san?" Nodoka asked, coming behind
Ukyou with a pot of fresh tea.

      "In the doujou," Nabiki answered sadly, "where else."

      "Who is going to tell her?" Sitting beside Nabiki,
Ukyou deftly slid his creations onto plates and passed them
around, sighing as he realized they were going to get cold.
He'd just have to make some more.

      "I will," Kasumi started to get up, but Souun stopped
her.

      "It is . . .I am her father. I will tell her."

      "I think we should all go," Kodachi said softly. "This
will be . . .she should have her friends and family around her."

      "She ought to have her damn . . ." Nabiki clamped her
mouth shut on what she was about to say and glared down at
the table top. "Yeah. Friends and family." She let Ukyou hand
her, her crutches.  She was much improved, but still a little
unsteady when she got up after sitting awhile. "Let's go."

      Taking the forearm crutches from Ukyou, she snapped
the cuffs in place with the ease of long practice and pushed
herself to her feet.

      "Are you Okay?" Ukyou asked, trying not to look like
he was hovering.

      "Why did I bother with pachinko?" she groused,
clumping along beside Ukyou. "I should have gone into the
medical supply business. I could have gotten rich selling stuff
to myself."

      Ukyou wisely stifled a laugh at Nabiki's disgusted tone,
but earned a glare anyway.

      As the small group made their way across the darkened
courtyard Nabiki could hear music coming from the doujou.
Listening to the energetic mix of flute, wood-block and
Chinese hammered dulcimer she tried to place the tune,
without success; Chinese Folk music ranked with root-canals
and boiled asparagus among her least favorite things.

      The doujou doors and windows were open to let in the
afternoon breeze and a shadowy figure could be seen moving
among other shadows. Nabiki stopped just inside the door and
watched her baby sister circle among a collection of 'wooden
men', as if dancing with the heavy oak training figures.

      "Dragon rises from the waves." Rumbled a voice from
the shadows and Akane obediently slammed the heel of her
hand under a wooden-man's 'chin', putting the full force of her
body behind the blow, actually shifting the massive device on
it's foundations.

      "Tiger in ambush, Serpent coils . . ."

      Reacting as much to the beat of the music as the
spoken orders Akane turned slightly, both arms moving in
unison to grab and twist a wooden limb, the whole assembly
moving with a groan and rattle of iron chain.

      "Dragon fights swallow!"

      The hundred-kilo counter-weight fell back with a thud
as Akane released the joint lock and attacked the wooden
man's trunk with a flurry of savage, clawed-hand strikes that
twisted as they struck, tearing gouges in the thick bundles of
rice-straw that covered the wooden men.

      "Dragon soars . . ."

      Akane slipped away from her 'opponent' and started to
step atop the first of a series of short poles set around the
doujou floor.

      "Thunder strikes - - -"

      From the darkness a heavy iron-black sphere hurtled
toward her head.

      "Wolf  bites - -  -"

      At the same time a staff, low and fast, spun toward the
back of her legs.

      "NO!" Nabiki screamed, watching in horror as Akane
hesitated trying to decide which threat to counter first,
managing to do neither.

      "Ahhhhh!" Akane shrieked as the 'iron' sphere burst,
soaking her with ice water and the nerf-bat completed her
humiliation by knocking her on her rear.

      "What do you call that?" the voice asked in disgust.

      "Soggy dragon falls on butt?" Akane grimaced, pulling
pieces of water balloon off her sodden shirt.

      "Looks more like 'Beached Whale'." Ukyou muttered,
staring at Akane's bulging abdomen.

      "The Ocean Dragon technique is one of grace and
subtlety," Saotome Genma pontificated, moving to switch off
the CD player. "You must work harder to perfect it." His voice
was still commanding, almost hypnotic, but his clothes hung
loosely on a shrunken frame and his movements, especially his
right arm, were stiff and hesitant.

      "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" Nabiki
snarled, glaring at Genma. She couldn't understand why Akane
put up with him. After everything he'd done, Nabiki wanted to
toss the bastard in the  incinerator with the rest of the trash,
mix the ashes with concrete and drop what was left of Genma
into an active volcano.

       But, Akane insisted Genma stay in their house.
Sometimes it even seemed to Nabiki as if Akane were afraid to
let Genma out of her sight. She sighed, wishing the Amazon's
hadn't lost interest in Genma once he'd lost the fortune he'd
stolen from them. Even Ukyou seemed to think he was too
pitiful to kill. And no matter how much she despised him,
Nabiki had discovered she wasn't up to cutting Genma's throat
in cold blood.

      "I am instructing the next heir to the Musabetsu
Kakutou Tendou-Saotome-ryuu." Genma pronounced grandly,
darting a wary glance at the middle Tendou as he helped
Akane to her feet.

      Nabiki's throat closed with rage as she saw the familiar
way Genma put a hand on Akane's tummy. She took an
involuntary step forward, prepared to crack Genma's bald
dome like an egg with one of her crutches.

      "Martial arts instruction is beneficial to the unborn heir,
as it provides the mother with healthful exercise and induces a
calm meditative state," Genma lectured, moving as if by
accident so that Akane was between him and Nabiki. "Nothing
is more poisonous to the unformed soul of the defenseless babe
than an atmosphere full of anger and acrimonious Qi."

      *Dammit!* Nabiki halted, cursing to herself. She was
_almost_ positive the old fart was lying. It hadn't escaped her
notice that Genma was most concerned about Akane and her
child when he was neck deep in fecal matter and sinking fast.
But . . . he _did_ know the most surprising things about
medicine and martial arts. And even Genma couldn't lie _all_
the time . . . could he? *Ahhhh . . . fuck it.* She settled for
glaring at Genma. This time.

      "You must be hungry," Kasumi put in, moving forward
with a heavily laden tray.

      "Why thank - - " Genma reached for a piece of fried
eel, then jerked his hand back as Kasumi almost removed his
fingers with a mincing-knife.

      "Oooops." Kasumi said coldly.

      The aging martial artist smiled sickly and carefully
moved away from the tray of goodies. Kasumi had once
explained the critical shortage of cadavers for her anatomy
class and Genma had no doubt that if he crossed the eldest
Tendou daughter he would end up pinned to a  dissecting
table. And he didn't think Kasumi much cared if he were
entirely dead before she started cutting.

      Many times Genma considered leaving. Especially
when Kasumi looked at him like a specimen in a jar. Or Souun,
treated him like an idiot-child. Wouldn't even let him have a
sociable drink now and then. Everyone always watching him.
Even Nodoka . . . he ought to leave.  Just hit the road again.

       But, when he was alone, especially when it was dark,
he imagined he was back in the tunnels.

      With Ranma.

      Cold, dark tunnels.

      With his son.

      A cold sweat broke out all over his body and he patted
perspiration off his upper lip, then stuffed his bandanna back in
his pocket.

              He wasn't afraid. Not Saotome Genma. There was
nothing to be afraid of. A tree branch swayed in the wind,
scraping against the out side of the doujou and he jumped, eyes
darting frantically around.

      Nothing to be afraid of.  He was just resting. He'd
leave soon enough. And then he'd show the world what
Saotome Genma was made of. As soon as he had rested, a
little more.

      "Vrish if good!" Akane exclaimed as she inhaled a bowl
of fermented cabbage, garlic and peppers.

      "How can you tell? It's not like any of it actually
touched your taste-buds on the way to your stomach." Nabiki
winced as Akane grabbed a small octopus making a dash for
the edge of the tray, dipped it into a hot-fudge hallapeno sauce,
and finished the tasty Korean delicacy in two quick bites.  Why
couldn't Akane have developed cravings for whale-penis-ice-
cream and fried silk-worm pupae, like normal Japanese
mothers-to-be?

      "I'm eating for two!" Akane defended as she crammed
a steamed bun in her mouth and washed it down with a mug of
oolong-tea, heavily spiced with ginger.

      "Only if one of them is Godzilla," Ukyou muttered,
watching in awe as Akane polished off a light snack that would
have kept a combat platoon in the field for two days.

      "Don't you want any, grandpa-sensei?" Akane offered
a plate of cold-noodles and cod to Genma.

      "I'm not very hungry right now." Genma muttered,
keeping a wary eye on Kasumi.

      *Grandpa-sensei!* Nabiki grimaced. Impending
motherhood had turned her baby sister's brain to mush.
Hopefully, after her hormones returned to normal Akane
would gut Genma with a butter knife and use his intestines as a
jump rope. It was an image that often comforted Nabiki.

       "Ummmm . . .we've got some news about. . .about the
doujou." Nabiki started, only to be interrupted by Kodachi
who threw herself at Akane's feet.

      "This unworthy person has failed," Kodachi exclaimed
mournfully. "and your noble ancestral domicile is lost to crass
commercial endeavors."

      "Yeah," Nabiki added cautiously, noting Akane's lack
of reaction at the news and wondering if that was a good thing
or a bad thing. " Twenty generations of Tendou's have been
born in this house. It's kind of a shame to break that tradition."
She just couldn't figure Akane out anymore.

      "Twenty-one," Akane remarked absently, an odd
faraway look in her eyes.

      "Nope, twenty," Nabiki corrected with assurance. "I
looked it up. The original foundation was laid down in sixteen-
sixty - - " Nabiki's mouth closed with a snap and she shot a
startled look at Akane who grinned and nodded.

      "Ohhhmygod!" Nabiki shrieked, spinning to face the
rest. "Go call the doctor and tell him it's an emergency!"

      "How far apart are the contractions?" Kasumi asked
calmly, taking Akane's wrist in her hands, feeling her pulse.

      "About a minute, I guess," Akane replied, wrinkling
her nose in thought.

      "A MINUTE!" Nabiki's face went white. "Where the
hell is the doctor?! Nevermind. Go call an ambulance and - - "

      "Don't bother with an ambulance," Kasumi remarked,
looking at Akane's pupils and smelling her breath.

      "Don't bother? Are you out of your - - " Nabiki
watched Kasumi help Akane lie down on the doujou floor and
swallowed hard. "Here?" she squeaked. "Now! No. No. It's
too soon," she pleaded. "You're not due for another two
weeks! You've got to wait." she accused, whipping out her
day-planner and thrusting it at Akane, showing her a date
clearly circled in red. "You've made a mistake."

      "Due dates are only an approximation," Kasumi
remarked, stripping Akane from the waist down, while sending
Kodachi for the birthing kit she'd put together for just such a
situation. "Babies don't come according to a timetable."

      "Ahhh . . .friend Tendou," Genma remarked with
satisfaction, "this reminds me of when Ranma was born." He
smiled benignly down at Akane who was laying with her head
in Nodoka's lap.

       "Oh, was Ranma born at home?" Akane asked
interestedly as Kodachi hurried back with the midwife-kit and
began laying out sterile pads, gauze, bulb-syringe and a plastic
cord-clamp.

      "Not precisely," Genma expounded. "Because a true
samurai is unconcerned with material possessions - - "

      "The goddamned nag didn't even place." Nodaka
remarked brightly, repeating without understanding, Genma's
oft repeated curses from so long ago, when their home had
been repossessed to pay his gambling debts.

      "Errrrr . . . yes. Well . . . since money is the root of all
evil I didn't want to take chances with the boy's spiritual
development."

      "Genma was so concerned about being tainted with
worldly goods" Nodoka added, looking adoringly at her
husband, "that he even got rid of my wedding kimono and all
the baby clothes I'd made."

      Genma should have died instantly, reduced to a pile of
ashes from the glares directed at him.

      "What about Ranma?" Akane wanted to know, wincing
slightly as another contraction hit.

      "Oh, Genma found a very nice spot under the Cherry
Blossom Park bridge for me, when my time came." Nodoka
answered, patting perspiration off Akane's face with a piece of
gauze. "And stayed with me through the delivery." She smiled
mistily at what was her most cherished memory.

      "We didn't even have a sleeping mat, so Nodoka had
to give birth on my kimono." Genma reminisced, pulling a
silver flask of peach brandy from an inside pocket and taking a
healthy pull. He started to elaborate, when he noticed Souun
looking at him with a face devoid of expression. Smiling
weakly, Genma offered his 'old friend' the flask.  With a
convulsive movement, Souun crumpled the heavy sterling-
silver like an empty soda-can, the remaining brandy spilling out
onto the floor. Still without expression Souun handed the
twisted ball of metal back to Genma, who sheepishly returned
it to his pocket.

      "The only suit of clothes Dearest had left. It was so
sweet of him to let me use it." Nodoka added, shifting slightly
to make Akane more comfortable.

      Nabiki blanched at the thought. No wonder Ranma was
so warped if his first sight on earth  was of a naked Genma.

      "The baby's crowning." Kasumi announced calmly.

      *Crowning?* Nabiki turned toward her sisters.

      "Nice head of hair." Genma remarked, leaning in for a
closer look, rubbing his own bare dome enviously.

      *Hair?* The butterflies in Nabiki's stomach started
stunt flying.

      "Now _push_!" Nabiki heard Kasumi talking. But it
was hard to hear her over the roaring sound of the approaching
typhoon. Nabiki's vision began to blur and flicker as strange
images appeared from the shadows that suddenly seemed to fill
the doujou.

      "I have the shoulders," Souun said calmly and Nabiki
watched a bloody grey scrap of _something_ slide into her
father's hands.

      *Listen to me,* Van Helsing cried urgently, rushing
forward, holy-cross held aloft in one hand, *Your very soul is
at stake my friend.*

      *It's awfully hot,* Nabiki thought, taking a glass of
wine from Dr. Pretorious who was demonstrating the home
model of his 'Resonator'. She was just about to ask Count
Yorga to open another window when - - - -

      "Oh, good, the afterbirth is in beautiful shape." Kasumi
cooed, holding up the soggy red mass for all to see.

       Nabiki decided to take a little nap.

      *Some things,* Dr. Carrington proclaimed to Nabiki
von Tendoustein, *man is not meant to know!*

*****
  *****

      "What . . .where . . .?" Nabiki groggily opened her eyes
to see Ukyou's face, dark with concern, looming over her.

      "Feeling better now?"

      "I had the strangest dream . . ." Nabiki started to say,
shuddering as she recalled images that would have given David
Cronenberg nightmares.

       "Say hello to your niece." Akane's cheerful voice
came from behind her. Nabiki jerked upright, twisting around
to see Akane with a baby in one arm and a large packing box in
the other.

      "What are you _doing_!" Oh god, it had all been real.
Ukyou's arm came around her in support and suddenly Nabiki
began to see some real advantages to having a boyfriend who
was really a girlfriend.

      "Helping Kasumi with some boxes for the move."
Akane answered easily, shifting her daughter so the newborn
had easier access to her breast.

      "You just had - -  * this hideous bloody creature
expelled from your _body_!* - -  a baby!" Nabiki half shrieked,
trying desperately _not_ to think about the mess-hall scene in
'Alien'.

      Akane shrugged, dislodging the baby who immediately
protested. Akane spent a moment soothing the infant before
replying.  "Tomoe Gozen gave birth in the middle of a battle,
then returned to win the fight while nursing her son. This was a
piece of cake."

      "I was adopted," Nabiki muttered, "somewhere there's
a family of normal people, short one daughter."

      "Shunranko, say hello to your auntie Nabiki," Akane
held out her daughter who immediately let out a stone
shattering howl, her little face twisted in rage at being
interrupted while eating.

      "Spring Storm Child, huh?" Nabiki examined the
newest Tendou distastefully. *Akane even managed a pun on
Ranma's name. The little absentee-father bastard doesn't
deserve it.* "I dunno, I kinda think Youunko is nice."

      "Ominous Cloud?" Akane replaced Shunranko at her
breast, wereupon the infant latched on limpet-like, feeding
greedily and noisily.

      "No?" Nabiki eyed the little beast sourly. "How 'bout
Makazeko?  If ever there was a storm called by a devil . . ."

      "That's not very nice," Kasumi answered, passing by
with an armload of linens.

      "Well," Nabiki struggled to her feet with some help
from Ukyou and followed her sisters toward the stairs, "what
about Yoarushiko . . ."


*****
  *****

Two Years Later:

4:45AM

      The cream and red Hirondell roadster purred through
the early morning darkness like a prowling hunting cat. The
wide avenues of the Tsukiji Dori were home to a wide variety
of small business, housed in concrete and steel buildings, all a
uniform grey from years of smog and made more than usually
depressing by the cold, wet day. The streets began to narrow
and become more crowded with delivery trucks and
pedestrians jostling for space until finally the driver pulled into
an open space in front of a small shop, redolent with the odour
of ginger, cinnamon and less identifiable spices.

      "Hey!" The owner, a stocky man whose full grey-
streaked beard appeared to have crawled off his scalp and
attacked his chin, ran out waving his arms. "You can't park
here!"

      Ignoring him the driver switched off the powerful
supercharged engine and hopped out of the open-topped car
with lithe grace. "Which way to the fish market?"

      "I said you can't - - " The spice-shop owner jerked his
hands up in reflex as the driver flipped something negligently at
him and he gasped, as a wad of Yen sized to cause respiratory
difficulties in the average equine smacked into his hands. " - -
park here." he squeaked. "As long as you like!" the spice-shop
owner beamed at the young man, noting his elegant grey suit,
crisp white linen shirt and thin red-silk tie. A faint gleam of
gold from a vintage Rolex President chronometer shown from
under his left cuff and he twirled an ebony cane topped with an
emerald-eyed tiger-head of 22 carat gold  in his right hand.

      "Fish market?"

      "Ahhhh . . yes sir," the spice-shop owner pointed
toward one of a maze of narrow twisting lanes that wandered
into the misty darkness. "Straight down that way, just follow
the blue carts." As he spoke a propane-powered tri-cycle
zipped out of the shadows, then vanished again down the
indicated path.

      "Wait a minute," the spice-shop owner called after the
nattily dressed young man, "what is your name?"

      "Tombs," Ranma answered, giving the name that had
been on the registration when he'd bought the car at an estate
sale the year before. "Sebastian Tombs."

      A brisk ten minute walk brought him to three city
blocks of barely organized chaos that was the worlds largest
fish market, where 35,000 vehicles and 60,000 people
attempted to move 2,700 tons of fish a day to fill Tokyo's
enormous stomach.

      Moving quickly, but carefully to avoid falling victim to
one of the dozens of fast moving blue-carts-of-death, Ranma
began searching the vast warehouse complex.  Starting against
the left-hand wall he pushed his way through the dense pack of
people who were avidly examining the seafood crammed into
small booths lining each passageway.

      There were hundreds of these booths, some offered
easily recognizable kinds of fish, others presented eye
wrenching creatures of the deep ocean and a few sold things
that looked like they'd been regurgitated by fish in neighboring
booths.

       A staggering array of urchins, seaweed, and clams
spilled out of boxes, while other sea denizens flopped, flapped
and splashed in tanks of brine.  Bare electric bulbs hanging
from steel girders illuminated a riot of green, pink, blue, and
red fish that gleamed wetly in the harsh electric light. Other
fish of duller hue contrasted oddly with trays of bright orange
and yellow roe while delicate cut-glass bottles of squid ink
were offered for the more discerning palate.

      "What are you trying to pull?"

      Ranma's head jerked around as the strident voice cut
through the din of the warehouse.

      "That's _my_ tuna!"

      He would recognize that voice anywhere. Instantly he
began moving toward the sound.

      "Listen girlie, - - "

       Getting closer, but still hidden in the crowd, Ranma
could see a hatchet-faced man looming over a girl,  trying to
intimidate her with his greater height and bulk.  Both were
wearing the full length white coat and thigh-high black rubber
boots that seemed to be the general uniform of the day.

      " - - This is my fish. It's got my name on it!" Hatched-
faced pointed to the kanji painted in red just below the head of
a Blue Fin Tuna worth the price of a luxury sedan complete
with sun-roof and CD-changer.

      "You thieving son-of-a . . ." the girl was so angry she
could hardly speak. "The ink's still _wet_ where you painted
over _our _name!" She jerked her thumb at another girl
standing behind her and to one side.

      "Yeah?" the man sneered, toeing another, smaller tuna,
a more common Yellow-Fin, on the next pallet over. "This is
_your_ fish. You can't go around taking stuff that ain't yours."

      Nabiki gasped in indignation. "You're calling _me_ a
thief! Who the hell do you think you are?"

      "Doung Tran of the White Lotus Society," Akane
remarked calmly, moving past her sister to stand in front of the
fish under consideration.

      "How do you know who he is?" Nabiki asked, getting
a bad feeling about the whole thing. She _had_ thought this
was just another street punk trying to grift a few yen through
intimidation. She hadn't bargained on one of the aggressive
Vietnamese gangs muscling in on the Tokyo docks.

      "Grandpa-sensei's been telling me all about the Triads."
Akane took Doung's left hand and turned it over, exposing the
flower tattoo on the underside of the wrist. "It's really quite
interesting."

      Doung jerked away in surprise and two hulking men,
lurking in the background, moved forward aggressively. The
shorter of the two produced a butterfly-knife with a flourish of
steel and a yellow gap-toothed grin.

      "No thank you," Akane refused politely, dismissing the
twenty-centimeter serrated blade with a smile. A meter-and-a-
half of chisel-point surgical-steel blade  flashed in her hand,
beheading a tuna the size of a baby elephant in a single stroke.
"I have my own knife." Removing the tail with a second
stroke, she wiped clean the specialized tool, a short sword in
all but name, and returned it to it's sheath.

      "Ttttt. . . that's _our_ tuna," Dound stuttered, uneasily
eyeing the 'knife' thrust samurai fashion through Akane's belt.
He motioned his men forward with a jerky movement.  "I . . .
it's got our name on it."

      "Yeah?" Nabiki stuck out her chin aggressively, "you
just try to take - - "

      "Here you go." Akane grabbed the tuna carcass with
both hands, set herself and heaved upright with a jerk. Before
anyone could react, she thrust it at the two thugs, who
staggered under the nearly three-hundred kilo dead weight.
Akane bowed politely, re-sized the smaller tuna with two quick
strokes, then walked away with the choice center-cut in one
hand and dragging her sister with the other, leaving Doung
standing open mouthed. Unnoticed in the crowd, Ranma
followed the two girls.

      "Are you insane," Nabiki wailed, "I sold that tuna on
consignment! The Blue-Fin, not this thing!." she indicated the
smaller Yellow-Fin with disgust. "I'll have to refund the
difference in price. When I don't deliver the tuna I promised
our reputation will go down the toilet!"

      "It's alright," Akane said soothingly.

      "It's NOT alright!" Nabiki fumed. "Instead of a profit,
we're going to _lose_ probably five hundred-thousand Yen.
Not to mention that people don't want to do business with
someone who can't deliver on an order."

      "It's alright," Akane repeated, smiling at Nabiki's
fulminating look. "Don't forget that _I_ work on the loading
docks."

      Nabiki looked puzzled, then her jaw dropped. "You
don't mean - - "

      Akane shrugged, "I'll just change the shipping labels
before the trucks leave." She patted Nabiki comfortingly on
the head. "Tell your customer they'll get their Blue-Fin."

      A broad grin split Ranma's face as he listened to the
two sisters arguing. Now _that_ was the true Musabetsu
Kakutou ryuu. The grin faded as he remembered the knife one
of the thugs had pulled and something hard and cold crept into
his eyes. He spared a glance at Akane disappearing into the
crowd. He'd waited this long, a few more minutes shouldn't
matter.

*****
  *****

      "Normally I don't carry things without a bill of lading,"
the driver began, "but I don't see any real harm." he added
hastily as an obscene wad of Yen was tossed into his lap.

      "Thanks," Ranma answered with a slight bow, "let me
just make sure the lid is secure." Leaving the driver at the
wheel he walked to the back of the truck and opened the door.
Just inside was a plastic shipping crate, normally used for live-
shipping lobsters and shell-fish. Unlatching the lid he peered
inside where Doung and his two henchmen lay naked in a bed
of ice, bound with thick plastic packing-straps. The two body-
guards had been gagged with their own underwear, while
Doung had a live squid strapped to his face. It was hard to tell
who was the most unhappy about the situation, but judging
from the different colours flashing across it's body, Ranma was
betting on the squid.

      "Comfortable?"

      Doung made a grunting noise, then squealed at the
squid tightened it's hold.

      "Unless traffic is heavy, you should be home by
tomorrow night." Ranma started to close the lid, then paused.
"If you bother my wife again," his voice was conversational,
but his eyes were flat and cold as a cobra's "your own
mother's not going to be able to tell if you're face up or face
down in the coffin."

*****
  *****

      "Hi, Ranma."

       Akane looked genuinely happy to see him. As if she'd
last seen him just this morning, rather than almost three years
earlier in a maintenance tunnel after being stabbed by her
father-in-law. Ranma had spent a lot of time thinking about his
reunion with Akane and he'd imagined a lot of things, most of
them quite painful. But, 'Hi, Ranma' had never entered his
mind. His imaginings had been more along the lines of  - -

      "What the hell are you doing here you frigging
bastard!"

       - - that.
       "Nice to see you too . . .Nabiki-oneechan." Ranma
grinned at the bug-eyed look of fury on Nabiki's face.

      "Don't 'big sister' ME, you irresponsible,
thieving  - - "

      "You two play nicely," Akane interrupted, "I've got to
get this," she tilted her head toward the yellow-fin in her hand,
"on the truck and the shipping labels changed on our tuna."
She smiled gently at Ranma, and turned to go, when Ranma
reached out and  grabbed her by the arm.

      "Hey! Where are you going?" Ranma demanded.

      "I've got to get this loaded - - -"

      "Forget that," Ranma said, dismissing several million
yen of tuna with the fine contempt of someone who spends
more on his shirts in a week, "what about us!"

      "What about us?" Akane asked, honestly puzzled.

      "I've been gone almost three years and all you have to
say to me - - " Ranma stumbled to a stop as he suddenly
realized he might not be helping his case. "Uhhh . . .listen, we
need to talk."

      "Okay," Akane answered cheerfully, "right after work."

      "Work?" Ranma echoed, as if the word were an alien
concept.

      "Well, Nabiki-oneesan started this little fish export
business . . .supplying restaurants outside of Tokyo, and
Ukyou - - "

      "Kuonji?" Ranma dropped into a defensive stance,
looking a round. "Is he still around?"

      "Oh, yes," Nabiki drawled with satisfaction, "and the
blind-monk and some Russian police every now and then, and
this cute Chinese Amazon with really  big . . .bonbori." She
grinned nastily at the expression on Ranma's face. "You're a
real popular fellow."

      "C'mon," Ranma jumped aside as another blue-tricycle,
overloaded with a stack of crates and barrels zoomed
around the corner in an impossibly tight turn. "We can't talk
here." He tried to pull Akane along with him, only to have her
slip free of his grasp.

      "I can't go until the market closes," Akane answered.
"and all the trucks have been loaded."

      "That's not until noon," Nabiki interjected with relish.
"Six hours from now."

      "Plus, we've got to do clean-up, and take new orders."

      "That could take another hour or so." Nabiki added,
"especially if Ukyou," she liked the way Ranma winced at the
sound of the name, "if _Ukyou_ has found a lot of new
customers."

      "Then we help Ukyou-san at the restaurant."

      "Uc-chans Okonomoyaki Heaven," Nabiki said,
"special group rates, open late on weekends."

      "Daddy is teaching kyudou and naganatadou at a
private girls school and I usually help him in the afternoon. But
I'll try to finish up early today." Akane ended. "About eight
this evening?" she smiled again and hurried off to the loading
docks.

      "Well, that should give you plenty of time to visit with
friends," Nabiki said as Ranma stared after his wife, "assuming
you had any. I suppose you could stay at our house . . . oh
wait, we don't _have_ a house anymore."

      Ranma spared her a sour glance, then stalked off.

      "How about some nice fresh fugu liver." Nabiki called
at his retreating back. "It's great with ground-glass and
arsenic!"

******
  ******

      Ranma could be as patient as stone, when the situation
called for it. But that was training, not temperament. His
original plan had been to simply grab Akane and run, absorbing
a few lumps as part of doing business. He figured a few weeks
in the Bahamas, looking up at the trees, would sweeten her
disposition.  But her casual, friendly attitude baffled him and
made him rethink things. Ranma decided to do a little
reconnoitering before doing anything rash. Especially since
Akane was carrying a 'knife' almost as tall as he was.

       An hour's worth of time and the liberal application of
Yen got him an address and a map. At the end of a forty-five
minute drive to a dismal concrete-slab apartment-complex that
would have depressed a Russian novelist, Ranma discovered
why it's illegal to purchase an automobile in Tokyo without
first offering proof that you own a place to park it.  He figured
it might faster to park in Hokkaido and fly back to Tokyo,
rather than wait for a space to open up.

      He finally solved this problem by renting a parking
space from a resident, for twice it's purchase value, then giving
the dazed man another hundred thousand Yen to go for a drive
in the country, thus providing Ranma with space for the
Hirondell. Thriftily Ranma picked the man's pocket as he was
leaving, relieving him of all but two-thousand yen gas money,
but providing him with a valuable lesson in life; Rule of the
road thirty-three: *Always keep one hand on your wallet, and
your other hand on the other fellow's wallet.*

******
    ******

      *seven-two-three . . .seven-two-five . . .* Consulting
the paper in his hand, Ranma moved down the dark, musty
corridor, wondering if the builders had deliberately skimped on
lighting in an attempt to make the place look better. He'd seen
prisons that were more cheerful, but most public housing in
Japan reflected the official attitude 'Poor people, rich
country.'Ranma noticed that people who said stuff like that,
rarely lived in public housing themselves. *seven-three-six!*
He knocked, waited a moment, then knocked again.

      "Yes," the door opened to reveal a slender woman
wearing wire-rim glasses. She had a pencil stuck behind one
ear and a large Grey's Anatomy was in her left hand, index
finger marking her place. "May I help . . .?" Her voice trailed
off as she recognized the beautifully dressed young man before
her.

       For his part, Ranma was frozen with shock. Not at
Kasumi's bi-focal's, but at the scowling mini-samurai at her
side, tiny wooden long and short swords thrust through a
scarlet obi. The thick cap of  blue-black hair was distinctive,
but it was the eyes that caught and held him. Ranma saw those
eyes everyday, in the mirror when he shaved.

******
    *****
7:30AM

      "That fucking _bastard_!" Nabiki raged, pacing back
and forth in the apartment.

      "I'm certain that Grandpa-sensei and Auntie Nodoka
were married when Ranma was born." Akane replied calmly,
re-reading the note Ranma had given to Kasumi, which
Kasumi, nearly in hysterics, had delivered to her at the fish-
market a little over an hour earlier.

      "The shit-eating little fucker kidnaped Shunranko!,"
Nabiki was literally foaming at the mouth, "don't you _care_!"

      "Ranma is her father, after all." Akane said reasonably.

      "Father! He's not her father." Nabiki spat.

      "Oh, I'm pretty sure he is," Akane replied, a secretive
smile on her lips.

      "You don't think Ranma would hurt her?" Kaumi
asked, pale faced. She still hadn't gotten over the shock of
having her niece literally snatched from her side.

      "Of course not," Akane answered positively, "The
worst that could happen is that Ranma might teach Shun-chan
  to forge government securities using a box of Crayola's or
how to overthrow a government with only chopsticks and a
can of Spam." Her sublime confidence in Shunranko's safety
reassured Kasumi a little.

      "I should never have left you alone, my lady." Kodachi
interjected. "But the Kunou fortune is at your disposal. We
will search the world until the miscreant is discovered."

      "That won't be necessary." Akane began, only to be
interrupted by her middle sister.

      "What is _wrong_ with you? How can you be so calm,
when we don't even know where Shun-chan is!"

      "Of course we do," Akane handed Nabiki the note
Ranma had written. "Ranma left a map and money for a plane
ticket." She raised an eyebrow as Nabiki snatched the envelope
and it's contents from her hand.

      "I will have the Kunou jet made ready immediately,"
Kodachi asserted, pulling a cell phone from her pocket. In an
effort to make things easier for her 'demoiselle' Kodachi had
started spending more time in the twentieth century, or at least
early nineteenth.

      "There's no hurry," Akane remarked, moving into the
postage-stamp sized kitchenette and putting a kettle on for tea.
"Ukyou-san will have to make arrangements for the restaurant,
if he wants to come?"

      "Oh yeah," Ukyou affirmed, rubbing Nabiki's shoulders
soothingly as he read over her shoulder. "I wouldn't miss this
for anything."

      "I have to give notice at the fish-market, Oneesan has
to make arrangements for suppliers for her restaurant
customers. And her pachinko rentals." Nabiki's fierce look said
how unimportant she thought all that was. "Kasumi has to
finish her last exam . . ."

      "Oh, but this is more important than exams." Kasumi
objected.

      "And we all have to get passports." Akane finished
with an argument no one had an answer to.

      "Where the hell _is_ Oregon, anyway?" Nabiki
groused, accepting a cup of tea as she tried to puzzled out
Ranma's crude sketch of the American Northwest.

******
    ******

Three Weeks Later:
Paulina, Oregon

      "This country is so _big_," Kasumi said in wonder,
looking out of the window of the custom Hummer-limousine
that had picked them up at the airport. "Look, a cow!"

      "Ummmm . . .an elk, I believe," Genma corrected,
looking at the guide book. "Those are cattle." he pointed to a
group of  American Bison, a few hundred meters beyond the
grazing llama.

      "It's cold, that's what it is," Nabiki complained,
ignoring the fully functional heater for yet another chance to
complain about anything connected with Ranma. "When do we
get there?"

      "About ten minutes ago," the driver, a grizzled gaijin
half a foot over six feet( who'd introduced himself as
'Shorty'), announced in Japanese with a Texas drawl.

      "What? How big is this place?"  Nabiki demanded.

      "Bout 320,000 deeded acres, with 6,200 acres of water
rights." was the laconic response.

      "Acres? What is that in meters? What's this acres
stuff?" Nabiki complained. Kasumi, Ukyou and Souun put
their heads together with Nabiki for some hurried
computations.

      "Akane-chan, are you alright?" Nodoka asked her
daughter-in-law softly.

      "Now that we're on the ground," Akane opened her
eyes briefly, then closed them again. "I didn't think I'd get
airsick."

      "Do not concern yourself," Kodachi assured her, "the
carpeting is easily replaced."

      "And a little white-vinegar and baking soda will get the
odor right out." Nodoka added.

      "Are you telling me," Nabiki's voice cracked, "that the
little S.O.B. has a backyard bigger than _Nerima_!" She
looked at the results of their computations again.

      "Well, Oregon _is_ about the size of Hokkaidou,"
Genma said, looking at the guide book. "And they've got
forty-nine other prefectures."

      "I think the gaijin call them states, dear. "Nodoka
corrected gently.

      "I . . . think we're there." Ukyou interrupted in a
strained voice.

      "You think we're . . ." Kasumi started to ask, then
froze.

      "Oh, my." Akane said as the limousine rolled to a stop
in front of a familiar stone wall, fronted by a heavy wooden
gate.

      Nabiki fumbled with the door latch, taking three tries
to get the door open before tumbling out of the back.
Snatching the cane she still needed if she'd been sitting too
long, Nabiki made a hobbling dash through the gate, past the
sliding doors and up the stairs, followed more sedately by her
sisters. The little duck nameplate was still swinging gently back
and forth on the door by the time Akane and Kasumi made it
up the stairs, followed closely by all the rest.

      "It's here," Nabiki said hoarsely, turning in a large
circle, "everything. It's all  - - " She limped over to a closet
door and yanked it open. To reveal a gaping hole, open to the
sky. "Where's my closet!"

      "I thought I'd lost this dress." Akane remarked, pulling
a lone blue, short sleeved garment from a hanger inside the
door.

      "I just borrowed it for . . ." Nabiki's mouth snapped
shut and she stepped back. "That's not the point. What's going
on here? This is our house! Or some of it, anyway."

      "Ummmm . . sorry about that?"

      Eight pairs of eyes snapped around to see a familiar, if
bruised and battered figure at the head of the stairs.

      "Some of the stuff is still hung up in transit; somewhere
in Bangladesh." Ranma twiddled his pig-tail. "But it's not my
fault."

*****
  *****


      "Look, a new stove," Nodoka's excited voice could be
heard from the kitchen. "And the freezer is so _big_!"

      "I've heard about these, friend Tendou," Genma
remarked, looking at the sixty-inch plasma TV hanging on the
wall. "They say it's so real, it's like looking out a window."

      "Bad man!"

      "Shunranko, don't hit your father." Akane admonished
gently.

      "BAD MAN!" There was a meaty thwack of wood on
flesh as Ranma only partially dodged a particularly vicious
overhand blow.

      "Would you _stop_ that!" Ranma made another of his
unsuccessful attempt to disarm his daughter but was again
defeated by the preternatural flexibility and quickness inherent
in very young children.

      "NO! Nononononononononono!" The little girl
shrieked gleefully as she wacked Ranma across the ribs.

      "What have you been doing to his poor child!" Nabiki
accused, alternately glaring at Ranma then beaming at her
niece and slipping her a piece of hard candy when she made a
particularly telling strike.

      "What have I - - " Ranma gasped, stung by the injustice
of the question. "This ain't a normal kid, it's some kinda
monster! I seen that movie. She's gonna start makin' pods in
th' basement, ain't she?" He twisted aside, barely avoiding a
thrust to the ribs and hastily retreated to the center of the
room, followed by his daughter who held a tiny wooden sword
in each chubby hand.

       "Bad man. Bad man. Bad man." Each word was
punctuated by a rapid thrust or cut, quickly showing that she
was entirely ambidextrous.

      "Ranma," Akane said sternly, "you're spoiling her."
Firmly she reached out and took her daughter, settling
Shunranko in her lap. "You can't just let her run wild."

      "LET her!" Ranma's voice rose and cracked on an
especially high note. "Just tell me where th' hell to find th' off
switch an' I'll stop her. And how come she only knows two
words? 'No' and 'Bad man'."

      "That's three words." Ukyou murmured.

      "You shut up!" Ranma growled. "This ain't funny."

      "I think it's hilarious," Ukyou remarked. "And when
she grows up, I hope she meets a boy just like her old man."

      "You _bastard_!" Ranma's lunge across the table was
interrupted when Nabiki's hand cracked across Ukyou's cheek.

      "How _could_ you!" Nabiki's stricken eyes met
Ukyou's for an instant, before she dashed out of the room.

      "Nabiki-chan," Ukyou realized he'd crossed the line. "I
didn't mean it. I hope she grows up to be a nun!" He lunged
after her. "Nabiki-chan!"

      Akane listened to the sound of Ukyou's footsteps
vanish out the door, then turned back to answer Ranma's
question. "Shun-chan's at the age where she's trying to
establish boundaries." Akane cooed at Shunranko who giggled
in delight. "That's why she says 'no' so much right now."

      "What kinda boundary is she tryin' to establish with
'bad man'?" Ranma asked, not entirely convinced.

      "Oh," Akane flushed, "That's . . .ummmm. . . Nabiki
made this training dummy for Shunranko. It's the cutest thing.
And it looks just like you," she finished in a barely audible
voice.

      "You  been lettin' my kid bash on a training dummy
that looks like me, for two years!" Ranma's voice rose. Taking
this as a threat, Shunranko lunged at him, only quick action by
her mother, saving her father from a nasty scar.

      "Of course not," Akane said indignantly. "Shun-chan
didn't begin serious training until she was six months old." She
thought a moment, "Of course, grandpa-sensei _did_ have that
technique for training her in the womb, but I'm not sure how
well it really worked." She gave him an innocent look and
Ranma wasn't sure if she was kidding or not. He wasn't sure
what the old-man was doin' hangin' around, either, but
decided Genma could wait.

      "Well, it's getting late," Akane looked out the window
at the lengthen shadows, "we'd better be heading back to town
and find a place to stay.'

      "Huh? What do you mean," Ranma looked confused.
"You're stayin' here. This is your home. That's why I had it
brought over here."

      "I can't stay here," Akane said gently. "It's better if we
stay in a motel."

      "If you don't like it, there's five other houses. They
came with the place. I can  - - "

      "No." Akane said quietly, but firmly.

      "You hate me, don't you." It was a statement, not a
question.

      "Oh, Ranma," Akane moved close and wrapped her
arms around her husband, shushing Shynranko firmly when the
little girl protested jealously. "I could never hate you." She
gave a little chuckle. "Sometimes I want to break your thick
skull, you make me so mad. But I love you." She let go and
stepped back. "Loving you doesn't have anything to do with it.
I just can't stay here."

      "Why not!" frustration evident in every line of his body
Ranma thrust his hands in his pockets and glared at his wife.

      "This isn't a . . .this isn't a happy place, anymore."
Akane said finally after a brief pause.

      "What are you talkin' about?" Ranma hated this. Girls
were always talkin' and talkin', but they never made _sense_!

      "Let's go for a walk," Akane gave Shunranko to the
little girl's grandmother, then took her husband's hand and led
him out side. They walked in silence for a moment, past the
gate and onto the open range surrounding the house.

      "The air is so clear, and dark," Akane said finally, "and
the stars look so close. Like you could just reach out and grab
a handful."

      "Uhhh. . . yeah." Ranma, said, having found it best to
agree with women when they said stuff like this.

      Akane laughed, but said nothing as they walked on a
little more.

      "I waited for you," Akane leaned against him as they
walked. "When Nabiki told me we were going to lose the
house and doujou, do you know what I thought?"

      "Ummmm. . ." Oh hell, this was one of those tricky
ones, where there wasn't a right answer. Just some emotional
gunk that you could never get right. "I . . .you felt pretty bad."

      "I was afraid you wouldn't be able to find me, if we
moved." She looked up at him, her face a soft blur in the
gathering darkness. "Tendou's had lived on that land since the
Tokugawa era. My mother, her mother and her mother's
mother were born and died there. It was my whole life. I never
wanted anything else but that house, the doujou. To live  there,
and raise my family - -  like they did and like my daughters
would.  And when Nabiki told me it was sold . . . They were
going to tear it down and build an apartment complex . . .The
only thing I could think of, was that you wouldn't be able to
find me."

      "I was going to call," Ranma started, "but it took me
while to fence . . . uhhhh take care of business stuff and
then there was some . . . uhhh . . .irregularities about my
immigration paperwork and - -"

      "Hush," Akane put a finger against his lips, "It doesn't
matter." They walked a few more steps before she continued.
"But you didn't come. And then I found out about Shunranko.
I . . . got a little crazy then. Broke a lot of cinder-blocks. A
few windows and some furniture. Couple of small bones in my
hand."

      "Oh geeez," Ranma sounded horrified. "Look, I'm
sorry - - "

      "My own fault," Akane assured him. "I got careless.
But I was _pissed_! At you. At me. The world. At . . .
Shunranko."

      "Did you ever . . ." Ranma's throat got suddenly tight,
though he wasn't sure why. He didn't even like the little
monster.

      "For a second or two," Akane admitted. "Mostly I
thought about how I was going to hunt you down and pull
your spine out through your ear. . ."

      Ranma flinched.

      "Then I was going to gut you like a trout, tie your anus
in a square-knot around the back of a bullet train and drag you
naked through razor-blades and turpentine . . ."

      Ranma winced.

      "After that, I was going to castrate you with a brick,
roast your balls on the hibachi and shove them down your lying
throat."

      Ranma stumbled as his knees involuntarily slammed
together.

      "But you don't hate me?" he croaked, thankful he
shaved with an electric razor and trying to think if there was
any turpentine in the house.

      "No," Akane squeezed him closer. "I never hated you.
Even when I was maddest . . ." she paused, then when on in a
very different voice. "Even then, when I imagined finding you,
we'd always end up doing the kind of things that got me in
trouble in the first place."

      "Oh."

      "Except, I was on top, and 'Ranko' was the one in
trouble."

      "Oh . . .errrr . . ." Ranma could feel his face heat. "But,
if you don't hate me . . . why won't you stay?"

      "If you'd come for me then, even when I first found
out about Shun-chan, I'd have gone with you. Gone anywhere,
done anything." Akane stepped away from Ranma and twirled
in a circle, looking up at the sky."It was storming that day,
too."

      Ranma glanced up and saw low clouds scudding across
the horizon, covering the stars. "That day?"

      "I felt her move for the first time. She felt like a
butterfly," she took his hand and placed it against her stomach,
"just here."

      Ranma let his hand rest against Akane for a moment,
feeling an inexplicable sense of loss.

      "And then I realized there was a little person growing
inside of me.  A piece of me, a piece of you.  A little person
who depended on me. And I couldn't be careless anymore."

      "What do you mean?" Ranma felt as if something
important lay just out of reach. He just wasn't sure what or
where.

      "I was responsible for her." Akane blew on her hands
and tucked them under her armpits for warmth as the
temperature suddenly dropped. "It wasn't just me anymore.
Everything I did, Shun-chan was going to learn how to be a
person from _me_! A good person or a bad person. She was
going to learn it all from me."

       Ranma pulled Akane to him, turning to block the wind
and she snuggled against his warmth.

      "Everything I say and do . . .I always think, 'Would
Shun-chan be proud of me' or worse yet, 'would I be proud of
Shun-chan if _she_ did this'?"

      "And you're not proud of me?" Ranma stiffened
angrily, pushing Akane away. "Is that it?"

      "Oh, sweetheart," Akane's voice was a little sad, "I'll
love you, until the day I die. Even if I don't always like the
things you do.  It's not about you. Or me. It's about
Shunranko. All of this," her outstretched arms were a faint blur
against the light's from the house behind them, " . . .how do
we tell Shun-chan that her bed, her food, everything she has,
was stolen from someone?"

      "It was the old-man - - " Ranma began angrily, "it was
his scam, not mine. Dammit, he ripped you off, too. He shot
your Pop, stabbed _you_! An' he was gonna . . . he was . . ."
Ranma trailed off, not quite able to bring himself to tell Akane
everything Genma had planned.

      "Your father is greedy and selfish and a pathological
liar" Akane agreed. "He tells funny stories, is a surprisingly
good martial artist and teacher. He's spoiled and irresponsible
and he'd never let you go hungry, as long as there was a baby
to steal candy from and there was anything left over after he
had his fill."

      She sighed heavily, " He's family. And I wish I could
love him. I wish it wasn't duty. I wish I didn't feel safer when I
can keep my eyes on him, when I know exactly where he is and
what he's doing." Akane started walking back to the house and
Ranma fell in step beside her. "Papa doesn't let him drink
anymore. He's much better when he's sober. But . . .I don't
trust him. I can't ever feel proud of him. I . . .I want
Shunranko to be proud of her father. So . . .it's better if we
don't stay."

******
  *******

      "It's starting to snow." Ukyou remarked idly, staring
out of the window of their room at the Prineville Lodge.

      "How long is she going to sit out there?" Nabiki asked,
draining another cup of coffee and wondering if her stomach or
bladder would give out first. "It's been almost six hours." She
could just make out the figure of her sister, sitting in zazen,
under a tree in a corner of the courtyard. Because of Akane's
bad knee, her meditation posture was a little awkward looking.

      "Eat something," Kasumi stifled a yawn as she offered
a tray of sandwiches.  She hadn't liked the looks of the fish at
the local market, but there had been an amazing array of beef.
"Otherwise all that coffee will make you sick."

      Absently Nabiki took a sandwich and began chewing
mechanically, never taking her eyes off Akane, who was
beginning to acquire a light dusting of snow. "This is crazy,"
she grabbed her cane and started to get up. "I'm going to bring
her in before she freezes."

      "She won't come," Kasumi said, joining Nabiki and
Ukyou at the window. Behind them, Nodoka and Shunranko
had fallen asleep on the couch, watching English dubs of
Japanese cartoons. "She's waiting for Ranma." From the
bedroom came the faint murmur of voices as Genma and
Souun argued over a game of Shogi. Originally the argument
had been somewhat louder and more physical, until Kodachi
had threatened to use Genma to test the airbags in the rental
car. Now she was on the phone in the adjoining room
arranging to lease a house for all of them.

      "Waiting for Ranma?" Nabiki looked at the sandwich
she was eating and peeled back the top layer. Pickles! She
hated pickles. She put it back on her plate, then absently
picked it back up and continued eating. "What makes her think
he's even going to come? Dammit, he was gone three years
last time. How long is she planning to wait?"

      "About five more minutes," Ukyou opined, pointing
out the window, "unless he slips on a slick spot."

      "Ahhh, hell." Nabiki groused, seeing a familiar
pig-tailed figure, "and I was in such a good mood."

******
     *****

      Ranma was almost surprised at how un-surprised he
was to see his wife sitting in meditation, slowly being covered
in snow.

      "Is this sumpthin' I want ta know about?" He asked,
shoving both hands in his pockets and coming to a stop in front
of Akane. "Or is it one a' those girl things?"

      "I'm trying to achieve a state of no-mind," Akane
answered, without opening her eyes. "Where hunger and thirst,
heat and cold no longer affect me."

      "Yeah?" Ranma asked with interest, having spent eight
months in Tibet learning  techniques that allowed the monks to
sleep on a mountainside with only a thin cotton robe between
them and the ice. "Is it workin'?"

      "I'm freezing my ass off." Akane answered, tranquilly.

      "Uhhhh . . . have ya thought about goin' back inside?"
Ranma asked cautiously, wondering if this was some girl thing
or worse, some _wife_ thing he didn't yet understand.

      "I would," Akane looked up at him with eyes so brim
full of mischief that he grinned back reflexively, "but my knee's
locked up and I can't move."

      "Ahhhh . . ." He bit back the first - - unflattering - -
response that came to mind and instead simply grabbed Akane
by the hand, pulling her to her feet in one smooth motion.
"Glad I could help out."

      "I'm glad you didn't wait three more years."

      "About that . . . I kept meaning ta call or sumpthin',
but - - " Pulling Akane against his side he began brushing snow
off of her. "Ahhh, hell. I didn't know what to say. And I
wanted to have things perfect. A house and stuff. I didn't
know you was . . .I didn't know about Shunranko."

      "Would it have made a difference?" Akane asked,
sounding only mildly interested.

      "Dammit, o' course it would. What kinda guy do you
think I am?"

      "That's nice to know. Thank you."

      "Ya believe me? Just like that?"

      "You're my husband." Akane answered simply.

      Ranma stared at her for a moment, as if she were some
alien life form, then gave a short barking laugh. "Can't fool
you, can I?"

      "Of course you can." Akane looked up at him through
snow frosted lashes, which made Ranma think of a crystal
figurine of a shepardess he'd had when he was eight. The tiny
frosted glass figure had been kneeling in the grass, holding a
lamb in her lap. He'd stolen it from an East African slave
trader and two years later, traded it for quinine when Genma
came down with malaria.

      "You're an excellent liar, much better than your father.
And he still fools me a lot of times."

      "You're my wife," Ranma shook off the memory,
uncomfortable with the image and feelings. "There ain't gonna
be no divorce."

      "Of course not." Akane said agreeably.

      "Shunranko is my daughter," he asserted, wondering if
there was insanity in the Tendou family. "You can't keep her
from me." Or maybe possession by demons. That might
explain Shunranko, anyway.

      "You're her father. I'd never keep her from you."

      "You just won't live with me." Ranma said slowly.

      "That's right."

      "Dammit,"he growled in frustration, "I ought to  - - "

      "Throw me over your shoulder, carry me off to the
bedroom and make love to me until I agree to stay?" Akane
offered brightly.

      "Uhhhh . . ." Ranma fiddled with his pigtail. That
_had_ been the plan, but it sounded kinda silly the way she said
it.

      "I can get your mother to babysit until tomorrow."
Akane offered in a throaty little growl that curled Ranma's
toes.

      His eyes lit up, then the last part of her statement
registered. "Tomorrow? You're gonna _leave_ in the
mornin'?" At her nod he felt his temper explode.

      "Dammit! What th' hell do you want from me?" He
didn't wait for an answer, "You want me to give it back? Well
I'm not. _You_ ain't never been poor. You never got locked
up 'cause you were dressed poor. 'Cause you talked poor."
Ranma was breathing hard, his fists were clenched at his side.

      "You  never been so hungry you rooted through
garbage or fought for a sandwich some rich guy threw outa his
car drivin' by. You never been so cold you hada walk around
all night carryin' a rock to keep from freezin' ta death." His
hands fastened on Akane's shoulders, pain shooting down her
arms as his fingers dug in tight. "No one's gonna laugh at me
no more. I ain't gonna scramble in no ditch for food somebody
threw away. And you ain't gonna go hungry and neither is th'
kid!"

      "No," Akane agreed quietly. "I've never been cold or
hungry. There was always food and a warm bed." She put her
arms around Ranma, pressing against his chest so she could
hear his heart. It was thundering in his chest as if he'd run a
marathon, but gradually, as she listened it slowed. "They strip
search you." She said, and it took a moment for her words to
register.

      "What?" It was so odd, Ranma thought he'd misheard.
"What did you say?"

      "It's a full body-cavity search. I'd always been a little
shy in the changing room, but they don't let you _be_ shy."

      "What are you - - "

      "I didn't speak any Thai and there wasn't a translator in
the prison."

      *Oh, crap.* Ranma suddenly recalled the incident in
Thailand at the martial arts tournament. "Listen, you don't
have to - - "

      "They take personal possessions, like jewelry or a
knee-brace - - stuff you could use as a weapon or bribe. Then
they give you a cotton robe and basically throw you into a pit.
There's a hole for 'sanitation' and you get one meal a day,
brown-rice and water. Sometimes there's a little green tea
mixed in. And you can take a bath anytime you want.
Providing it's raining."

      "Did . . ." Ranma licked his suddenly dry lips. "Did
they - - "

      "Rape me?" Akane laughed bitterly. "No. The first
guard to touch me would have died or had to kill me. And they
knew it.  Most people think that I was, though. Except Nabiki.
And she doesn't know the real truth." A shudder went through
her body. "I did the raping."

       Ranma went cold at her words. What the hell was
going on here?

      "Not sexual, but just as bad. Worse." Akane took a
deep breath. Then another. "One bowl of rice a day wasn't
enough."

      In a flash, Ranma understood. "That's not so bad - - "

      "I was a trained martial artist. Even with a bad knee
and a broken collar-bone, and so bruised I could hardly
move . . .

      I was stronger, and better trained than most of the
guards. What chance did a bunch of frightened, starving
women - - girls some of them, my age or younger - - what
chance did they have?"

      "That's nothin'," Ranma started to say. "Why me and
pop's one time we grifted an entire train-load of frozen beef on
it's way to some - - "

      "They were afraid of me," Akane said quietly. "They
were starving and weak and it was easy." She met his eyes and
he swallowed at the bleak look of despair in them. "A martial
artist protects the weak. But what about the weakness inside
of yourself? Who protects you from that?"

      "Listen - - "

      "I wanted to kill myself, when I got home. I got the
tantou and white robes - - I was going to redeem my honor
like a true samurai." she laughed bitterly. "I got as far as
kneeling in the doujou with my sleeves under my thighs, so I'd
fall forward in a dignified manner after I slit my belly. But . . .I
couldn't do it. I was afraid. Weak."She pounded her fist
against her thigh. "Weak."

      *Thank you kami-sama. I'll do somethin' nice for ya
real soon* Ranma left kami-sama to his own devices and
pulled his wife close against him.

      "Listen. You did what you needed, to survive. Starvin'
people die in prison. You don't eat, you get sick and die. Real
quick."

      "An' those women you feel so sorry for, they woulda
taken your food if they could. An' th' guards. They woulda
raped you as soon as you couldn't fight." He didn't think he
was getting through to her.

      "You did th' smart thing. The right thing. Doncha
_ever_ feel guilty for surviving. Dead, all you're good for is
feedin' the worms."

       "All the things you bought." Akane didn't seem to
hear him. "The house, the cars . . .I look at them and I see the
Amazons. They had a real hard time last winter. They could
have bought food, medicine, tools just with what that car cost.
Ukyou. Her father literally threw her out of her home.
Disowned her.  You bought a wide screen TV for the cost of
her family and home.

      *Her?* Ranma thought, then dismissed Ukyou as a
minor problem at the moment.

      And, what about all the other people who were hurt?
Whose food am I eating? Whose bed am I sleeping in, if I stay
with you?"

      "I'll never let Shunranko go hungry." Akane told him
quietly, "I'll keep a roof over her head, somehow. But, I can't
take food from another child's mouth to feed mine. I've
already shamed myself forever by what I did in that prison. I
was afraid. Weak. I can't.be weak anymore. Not again. Not
and live with myself."

      *Ahhh, crap. She believes all this noble samurai shit.*
Ranma's mind raced for some way to answer Akane's
concerns. If he let her get away tonight, she'd get stubborn and
dig in and he'd lose her for good.

      "Any of the other women get raped while you were
there?" he asked, not knowing where the question came from,
but trying to buy some time.

      "What? Uhhh . . no." Akane asked bewildered.

      "You didn't let Kunou an' his bunch get away with
their crap, didja?"

      "What does that - - "

      "An' you was pretty popular around school. Spent a lot
of time helping out - - all different clubs and stuff. Nobody was
bullied while you were around, either."

      "I don't understand what this has to do with anything?"
Akane sounded bewildered.

      "The other women in that prison. They mighta thought
a little rice was pretty cheap to keep from bein' raped. An' if
you'd died, or just got real sick back then. Kunou and his little
thugs mighta just taken over Furrinkan 'cause you weren't
around to stop 'em. Like I said, dead ain't no use to nobody."

      "You don't know that I kept those women from being
raped. Or stopped Kunou. Or - - ." Akane objected quietly.

      "No, an' you don't know you didn't." Ranma snapped.
"You can't ever know what's gonna happen tomorrow. All ya
got is this," he took her hand and placed it on his chest, where
she felt his heart beat. "You only got _now_, one beat of the
heart. Cause ya never know when it's gonna stop."

      Akane went cold at the thought of his heart stopping
and her hand clenched in Ranma's shirt front.

      "I . . .I think I understand. But - - " her voice trailed off
helplessly. She didn't see anyway out of their problem.

      "Hell," Ranma said in disgust. "You're thinkin' again.
Women are always thinkin'. Look, there's somethin' ta this
honor stuff, I guess." He admitted reluctantly. "I mean, I ain't
never let no one sit behind me, until I met you guys. Your
Pop's always treated me good, like I was blood related.
An' . . ." Akane was amazed to see a faint flush creep up under
his collar. "I ain't . . .I've never fallen asleep with a girl
before."

      "What?" Akane wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly.

      "I . . .before, with the others  I always stayed awake
after. . . but with you I fell right asleep."

      "Oh." She said softly, feeling a warm tingle at the trust
he showed her. "But, that doesn't really solve - - eeeeeeeep"
she shrieked as Ranma bent suddenly and threw her over his
shoulder.

      "What are you doing!" Akane demanded.

      "Goin' with my original plan." Ranma announced,
turning and heading for where he'd left his car. "I should never
tried this thinkin' stuff."

      "I told you - - "

      "You talk to much," Ranma groused.

      "What are you doing with my sister!" Nabiki
demanded, brandishing her cane as she limped up more quickly
than was safe on the icy surface. Ukyou also seemed to think
she was being reckless, from the worried look on his face.

      "I'm kidnappin' her," Ranma answered, "I got some
new Peerless double-locking shackles you'll really like," he
added as an aside for his upside-down bride.

      "Really?" Akane asked with the interest of a true
connoisseur. "The military grade . . . I mean," she said, in
suddenly prim tones, "That doesn't make any difference. I'm
not going to change my mind. I won't stay with you."

      "I got a straight-jacket an' a latex hood that says
different." he offered in a teasing voice.

      "You filthy pervert!" Nabiki said hotly. "You better not
touch my sister."

      "She likes it when I touch her," Ranma caressed
Akane's upturned bottom lightly, grinning as a vein began to
throb in Nabiki's forehead. "Oh and Kuonji, let me know what
I owe you."

      "What!" Ukyou looked sharply at Ranma. "What are
you talking about?"

      "Th' old man and me, we ripped you off. So I figure I
owe you." Well, Akane figured Ranma owed, but it looked like
that was going to amount to the same thing. He looked at the
stunned Okonomoyaki chef for a moment. "How does a coupla
million sound?"

      "Yen?" Ukyou asked hoarsely.

      "Nah, dollars . . .whoops, catch her!" Ranma shouted
and Ukyou made a grab for Nabiki who, either from brain
overload or an icy patch, was suddenly headed for the ground.

      "Nice save," Ranma allowed, grinning at Nabiki who
was now held securely in Ukyou's arms. "You two make a
cute couple. As head of the Tendou clan, I guess I should ask
if your intentions toward my little sister are honorable?"

      "We are NOT a couple," Nabiki screeched, kicking
futilely which only served to tighten Ukyou's hold. "What the
hell do you mean head of the clan?!"

      "She's kinda noisy," Ranma staged whispered to
Ukyou, "I got extra gags if you want to borrow one. Especially
if she's a screamer."

      "What? Why. You." Nabiki spluttered.

      "Ranma, quite teasing Nabiki," Akane said quietly.
"And let me down"

      "Nope." Ranma said cheerfully. "Okay, I'll quit teasin'
But you're awful bossy for a kidnaped wench."

      "I told you  - - "

      Ranma sighed. "You're an awful lot of trouble. Good
thing I love you."

      "What?" Akane squeaked.

      "I love you." he scratched his head.

      "You never said that before!"

      "Really? Sorry 'bout that." Ranma dismissed it as an
omission of no importance.

      "But it doesn't change - - "

      "Geeezzz, don't you ever shut up? Next time I bring a
gag with me." He turned his attention back to Nabiki who was
back on her feet, berating Ukyou. Just like an old married
couple Ranma thought.

      "Okay, neechan," he winced as Akane grabbed a fold
of skin and pinched. Hard! "OK, no more teasing." *Tonight.*
"Contact the Amazons an' find out where they bank. Tell 'em
I'll send a wire transfer of what Pop took," he thought a
second, and sighed. "Plus interest." Virtue was expensive.
"An' I'll give 'em a list of where Pop sold their stuff. An' a
few million for the blind-monk?" he queried his wife.

      "Oh Ranma. That's wonderful. But - - "

      "But NOTHING!" Ranma roared and was satisfied
when Akane shut up. Unfortunately he knew it wouldn't last.
"I can't fix the whole damn world in one night!"

      "Have you _got_ this kind of money?" Nabiki asked
suspiciously.

      "Oh sure," Ranma replied airily. "Pop's almost as good
a judge of gems as he is booze. An' I made some pretty good
investments when I turned 'em into cash. It'll be kinda lean
after I pay back th' Amazon's though." He gave Nabiki a
twisted smile. "I guess I'll have ta find a job or somethin'."

      "Oh Ranma," Akane hugged him as best she could,
hanging upside down over his shoulder.

      "Can we go now?" He asked Akane sarcastically and
felt her mumble something into his shirt.

      "Oh, an' Kuonji?" Ranma added over his shoulder,
"Come by tomorrow _evening_.  Akane gets sleepy after
makin' love," he ignored her gasp of outrage, "an' she's kinda
bitchy if you wake her up before she's finished her nap."

      "Ranma!"Akane fumed, trying to twist around, "Wait!
You can't just - - "

      She yelped as Ranma's hand hit her posterior with a
sound like a pistol shot.

      "Rule one," Ranma rumbled menacingly as he gave her
derriere a warning pat. "What's mine, I _keep_!"

*************************************************
EPILOGUE

      "Mail's here!"

      "Anything interesting?" Nabiki didn't look up from her
computer. Day trading was a fools game. On the other hand,
there was good money in publishing a day-traders newsletter.

      "Package for you." Ukyou looked at the return
address. "Postmark Thailand. From Shan P'u."

      "Oh?" Nabiki held out her hand and Ukyou tossed the
small package underhand.

      "Something from father," Ukyou tore open an envelope
and pulled out several sheets of paper, criss-crossed  with
blotched kanji. "Heh!"

      Nabiki paused in opening her package and looked up at
the barked laugh. "Something funny?"

      "He and Hibiki-san have perfected his Zen
Okonomoyaki, a blessing in every bite." Ukyou read on. "And
looks like Hibiki's going to have another little brother or sister
in about seven months."

      "You know, when Hibiki said his father was in hell."
Nabiki remarked dryly. "I didn't realize he meant Okinawa."

      Ukyou made a face, but didn't respond as he kept
reading.

      "Is that the mail?" Nodoka entered the room, trailed by
ten-year old twin girls. "I'm expecting a letter from Ke Lun-
chan."

      "Uhhh . . ." Quickly Ukyou flipped through the thick
bundle. "Yeah, here you go. Whadaya know? Postmark
Thailand!"

       "I got something from Shan P'u," Nabiki explained,
pulling the packing material out of the way to reveal the
contents. "They must be traveling together."

      "Hey," Nabiki pulled a packet of pictures and a tissue
wrapped bundle from the box. My earrings!" she tore off the
tissue and held a Lucite sphere up against one ear. "What do
you think?"

      "Is that - -" Ukyou looked a little green as he
contemplated the small lump of tissue in the center of the
globe.

      "Yep. She even sent pictures," Nabiki flipped over a
poloroid of a very thin man, naked in a hospital bed except for
heavy bandages around his groin. "Gotta love Amazon
efficiency."

      "Remind me never to get on your bad side," Ukyou
said, feeling an unavoidable pang of sympathy for Johnny
Peng.

      "Believe me, you'll never have to worry about this
happening to you." Nabiki gave Ukyou a quick squeeze,
wondering briefly if she should try to get Ukyou into therapy.
As always, Nabiki dismissed the thought.  Other than a minor
delusion that she was a man, Ukyou was perfectly sane. Well,
that and an okonomoyaki fetish. If only the sauce weren't so
_sticky_!

      "Oh, how wonderful," Nodoka said excitedly after a
few moments of reading her letter. "Ke Lun and Mu Si had a
daughter. They sent a picture."

      "Baby?" One of the little girls asked, looking over her
grandmother's shoulder.

      "Yes Raikako, a baby." Nodaka answered, bending
down to show the snapshot. "Isn't she beautiful? She's got her
father's mouth." Nabiki, leaning around to look over Nadoka's
shoulder, couldn't see it. To her all babies looked like  identical
squashed clay figures until they were at least a year old.

A few seconds later, Tenraiko chimed in. "School."

      Nabiki shivered slightly, as she did each time the twins
got cryptic. Named Lighting  and Thunder (because Akane
swore Raikako was born on a flash of lightning, while her
sister arrived just as the clap of thunder did) they were very
like their namesakes. The elder quick and silent, her younger
sister, a little slower, but with a tendency to shake thing up.

      "Ummm . . .translation, please?" Of the family, only
Akane and Nodoka seemed to be able to understand the twins
monosyllabic utterances, the visible tip of some psychic iceberg
that connected the two. Ranma, of course, was sublimely
convinced that any child of his loins was de facto perfect, and
probably wouldn't have blinked if they had three eyes and
horns.

      "Rai-chan was asking about the baby, and wanting to
know if she could play with her." Nodoka answered, looking
puzzled as she always did, when asked such obvious questions.

      "Ten-chan pointed out that the baby was too young to
travel and wouldn't be much fun to play with now, anyway.
That it would be better to wait a few years until she's sent to
school over here. They could be big-sisters and show her
around."

      "Ahhh . . .how stupid of me." Nabiki drawled, then
stiffened as Ten-chan gave her a measuring, narrow eyed look.
She leaned forward, staring the child in the eyes. "Listen kid,
you don't like my sarcasm. Tough! But anymore livestock in
my bed and I'll go have a talk with grandpa-Genma."

      Ten-chan's eyes widened at that, then narrowed. She
and her sister were smart, fast and talented. Granpa-G was
older than god, meaner than a weasel and had forgotten more
dirty tricks than the devil himself. This could be interesting.

      Nabiki still despised Genma, but that just meant he
should make himself useful.  Which in her mind meant, every
time she thought 'frog', Genma better already be in the air.
"And if you push me, we'll have a little chat with your
mother." Nabiki added, smoothly.

      The twins paled and seemed to shrink inside
themselves. Grandpa-G was a challenge. Like training with
their father. It could be exciting, dangerous, uncomfortable
with blood, bruises and broken bones. Their beloved mother
was something else entirely.

       No one in the universe made them feel more loved,
and they knew she would defend them like a tigress if they
were in trouble. But, mama had an iron sense of honor and
duty.  A samurai protected the weak. Practical jokes on their
father or Grandpa-G or Ke Lun (if they dared) might be
tolerated as a fair fight between equals.

      Aunt-N didn't look like she saw the humor in the
situation, though. And Ukyou-kun had looked - - less than
pleased when Auntie had found the snake (really a very little
one) under her pillow. If mama decided it wasn't funny either.
If she thought they were being bullies . . .

           They'd taken advantage of their phenomenal martial
arts abilities - - once.

      He had been a bully and a bigot who didn't like 'gooks'
or anyone with dark skin or who talked funny. Instead of
leaving, when he ordered them out of his store, they'd stayed
and humiliated him simply _by_ staying.  Showing the entire
neighborhood he was too old, fat and slow to catch two little
'gooks'.

       The next day there was an article in the paper. About a
man who had hospitalized his wife and small son in a drunken
rage.

      He had been a nasty man before he'd met the twins and
didn't need an excuse to beat his wife, papa told them. And
mama agreed.

      That didn't change that _they_ had been bullies as well.
Raikako and Tenraiko hadn't acted to help someone else, or
even to defend themselves. They had humiliated the man
because they didn't like him.

      Because it was fun.

       Because they could.

      Mama never yelled. She'd never laid a hand on them- -
outside of the doujou. She simply said she wasn't a very good
mother, kissed them each on the forehead, and walked out the
door and into the hills.

      Raikako and Tenraiko waited up for her the first night.
And, although Shunranko told them they might as well go to
bed, she stayed awake as well.

      They'd cried themselves to sleep the second night. By
the third week, even papa was looking worried. Five weeks
later, gaunt, hollow eyed and filthy, but oddly serene looking,
mama limped back in the door.

      Papa snapped something about a short-leash. Mama
laughed, kissed everyone, and lead the twins to the doujou.

       There she made them practice a kata they'd never seen
before. Over and over she made them do it. Eight hours a day,
even skipping school, until on the fifth day - - Rai-chan
suddenly burst into tears. A moment later, Ten-chan started
sobbing uncontrollably as she understood.

      Why what they had done had been wrong

      How much worse it could have been.

      And how much mama loved them.

       Disappointing mama wasn't an option.

      . . .Both twins bowed as one, very low, then turned and
left the room. Nabiki watched them go and wished she could
figure out how she'd gotten into a running feud with a couple
of middle schoolers.

      "Dinner is almost - - oh, the mail?" Akane, youngest
daughter balanced on her hip, entered from the kitchen.
"Anything for me?"

      "Hmmm. . . here's one. Seattle postmark."

      Akane opened the proffered letter one-handed and
began reading.

      "Whatcha got?" Ranma asked, sauntering in from the
outside. There was a bruise along his right cheek and some
dried grass stuck out of his hair, like sprouting weeds.

      "Letter from the Mariners." Akane glanced at her
husband. "Tiger Fights Swallow?"

      "Left hook," Ranma corrected. "Shun-chan's getting
sneaky on her old man." He grinned, proud of his daughter.
"What do they want?" he asked, looking at the letter in
Akane's hand.

      "Invitation to spring training." she wrinkled her nose in
confusion. "I'm kind of surprised they keep asking me back."

      "A woman slugger is a big draw," Nabiki interjected,
moving to look over Akane's shoulder. "And you're a pretty
decent pitcher as well."

      "But I never broke .270 my last season," Akane
objected.

      "You had a pretty good excuse for that," Ranma said,
ruffling his youngest daughter's hair, making her giggle.

      "Yeah, and when your water broke as you rounded
third, ratings jumped sixty points." Nabiki hid a grin at
Akane's sour look. "More people tuned in to watch you give
birth in the dugout than watched the final episode of 'Friends'
It didn't hurt that you got a double your next turn at bat,
either."

      "What?" Akane snorted indignantly, "Do they expect
me to get pregnant to draw a crowd?"

      "It's not unreasonable," Ukyou replied, looking at the
baby on her hip. "All things considered."

      "Four children in fifteen years is _not_ a lot!"

      "Hmmmm . . ." Ranma suddenly whipped out a small
note-book and began scribbling. "Ya know . . .that might just .
. .maybe a magic glove or a . . ." he muttered to himself as he
wrote.

      "What are you - - " Akane moved so she could see
what her husband was writing, having over the years learned to
read his scrawl, even upside down. "Oh no!" She objected as
she saw what he was writing. "Not on your life. You're not
turning _me_ into some stupid . . ."

      Ranma ignored her and kept writing and mumbling to
himself.

      "Darn it" Akane snapped, stomping her foot, "How are
we supposed to get our students to take the ryuu seriously if
you turn me into a comic book character?"

      "I dunno," Nabiki said, moving to look over Ranma's
shoulder. "I think the idea of a base-ball player who's secretly
a magical princess is kinda cute." She bit her lip at Akane's
look of disgust. "The price you pay, being married to one of
the hottest fantasy  writers around."

      "You've never been turned into a Saturday morning
cartoon." Ukyou said in revulsion, giving Akane the only look
of sympathy in the room.

      "But your action figure is so cuuuute," Nabiki cooed in
a saccharine voice. "Supernatural Ninja Boy, mild mannered
okonomoyaki chef by day, who uses the power of the secret
sauce to power up and fight evil by night with his holy
spatula!" Nabiki struck a pose and Ukyou stuck out his
tongue.

      "Holy Spatula my ass!" Ukyou complained, "I can't
walk down the street without some kid wanting me to run up
the side of a building or shoot fire-balls from my 'holy spatula'
or . . ." he threw up his hands in disgust.

      "What's going on?" Kasumi asked, entering from the
outside.

      "Neesama!" Akane cried in delight, throwing her arms
around her sister, breaking the embrace when the baby
protested being squashed. "I didn't think you'd be here until
day after tomorrow. Where's Kodachi-chan?"

      " She and Sasuki are bringing in the luggage Kodachi
finished her exams early and I'd already finished my rounds, so
we decided to come today.."

      "That's wonderful," Akane enthused. "How is
Kodachi-chan doing?"

      "She had nightmares about her anatomy exam. But
everyone does. And she's number eight in her class."

      "So, you and K-chan are going to set up practice
together when she graduates?" Nabiki asked interestedly.

      "We saw a car drive up," Tendou Souun remarked as
he entered through the sliding doors that led into the garden,
followed by Genma. "Kasumi!" Rushing to his eldest daughter
he threw his arms around her. "When did you get here? How
long are you staying?"

      "As soon as she finishes her residency," Kasumi
answered Nabiki's question. "Just now father. And we'll be
staying a week or so."

      "Let's go sit down," Akane suggested, "and we can
talk over dinner." She started to lead the way to the dining
room that had been added after the twins were born. "I've got
a wonderful new recipe I've been dying to try out." Everyone
but Ranma and Genma froze in their tracks at her words. "A
glazed liver pudding with pineapple-trout sprinkles and
strawberry-bluecheese upside-down cake for dessert."

      "Akane," Kasumi said faintly through teeth tightly
clenched against roiling nausea. "dear . . .that sounds . . .
lovely." Steeling herself, she decided to ask, once again, a
question Akane had never been willing to answer. "Where do
you get these . . .wonderful ideas? I want Kodachi to eat
healthier. "she lied hastily, hoping Kodachi would forgive
involving her in this horror.

      "Ahhhh . . ." Akane seemed taken aback for a moment,
then came to a decision. No sacrifice was too great for her big
sister. Even . . . "she reached into an apron pocket for The
Book, smiling  brightly at a sudden thought. "And you can
practice cooking while you're here. I'll help!"

      "That's nice," Kasumi pasted a smile on her face,
fighting an urge to run screaming from the house.

      "Here!" Proudly Akane thrust the book at Kasumi,
"I've memorized it," She added, dashing Kasumi's hopes of
'accidently' incinerating the book and saving the family further
agony. "So you can keep it as long as you like."

      "Dr. Genmov's - - " Kasumi read the luridly coloured
title page.

      "Guide to the Mystic Secrets of Universal Nutrition,"
Genma said in an astonished voice. "Providing the blessings of
Perfect Health and Well Being - - "

      " - - Being a completely natural cure for Ileitis, Colitis
and Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Strengthening the Heart,
Invigorating the Blood, Cleansing the Lungs of Phlegm and
promoting General Well Being!" Akane chorused along with
him. "Have you read it too?" she asked in surprise.

      "Read it? Why I wrote it!" Genma boasted, his
normally supernatural ability to sense danger for once failing to
note three pair of eyes locking onto him like a battery of
artillery ranging for Time-on-Target fire.

      "Ahhhh, those were the days," he reminisced. "I was in
rare form . . ."

      "Akane," Souun took his daughter by the arm and
ushered her through the door, "why don't you go check on
your," he gagged slightly on the word, "meal. Take Ranma
with you to set the table." Locking the door behind them he
turned back to his 'old friend'.

      " . . . but how was I to know that such a simple
substitution of local ingredients would cause explosive
flatulence and hallucinations? And if not for a minor incident of
spontaneous human combustion connected with an carob-
mango shrimp flambeaux in Malaysia . . . errrrr . . . is
something wrong?" Genma asked, feeling unaccountably
nervous as he watched Kasumi drop the locking bar across the
outside doors, while Nabiki cracked her knuckles, eyeing him
like a starving weasel looks at a baby chick.

      On the other side of the door, Akane was humming a
merry tune as she put a marshmallow-oyster dressing on the
pickled-pork-blueberry salad while the baby played with a
plush-pig toy on the floor. Suddenly, a  piercing scream rent
the air, a high wavering howl of unbearable agony that abruptly
cut off. In the sudden silence, Akane turned to Ranma, hands
fisted on hips.

      "Tendou Ranma! I told you I didn't want Shunranko
helping geld the cattle anymore. It's unladylike."

@@@@@@@@

END




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