----- Original Message -----
From: "The Eternal Lost Lurker" <lurkerdrome@sbcglobal.net>
To: "Tim Williams" <ffml_tim@yahoo.com>; <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Friday, March 07, 2003 11:48 AM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [fanfic] [heavy revision] [SM] The Rebound Effect: Part
12

Taika heaved a sigh and turned from her intended path and entered the
hallway where the altercation taking place.  Four hulking young examples
of bad attitudes had the much smaller Umino cornered up against a bank
of lockers and were making menacing gestures with clenched fists.

Lockers? Japanese schools generally do not have lockers. The closest they
have is the shoe cubbies for students to store their outside shoes.

Research

Japanese schools a little more carefully.

This is interesting. Actually, I have yet to see a fanfic that takes into
account all these little things that differ in Japanese and American
culture - frequently, I find stories that woul absolutely not work, since
the whole premise contradicts the culture portrayed...

(Like people having to stay "married" since the records office is closed for
x amount of time, etc...)

Any pointers to fics that get it "right"?

She turned to ask Umino if he was injured and caught the that look he
was giving her.  Uh-oh.

Uh-oh indeed.

Usagi nodded in a agreement.  "That means that we'll just have to find
you a boyfriend!"  Under her breath she added in without breaking
stride, "Youcan'thaveMamouro."  Then she smiled and started surveying

Mamoru. His name is Mamoru.

This is a matter of interpretation. IIRC, the "o" is long, (it's been a
while since I last saw Stars), and in that case, the "ou" spelling is not
incorrect. Merely non-standard, which is a totally different thing... The
second "o" however should definitely be a "u".

I'm enjoying this fic, though I do have some minor nitpicks, primarily

about

the previous installment. One of them, I have already addressed.

You *really* need to work on keeping names straight. I don't know where on
Earth you got "Mamouro" from, but the name is Chiba Mamoru. And his other
name is Endymion, not Endyminion.

(Though I will admit, "Endyminion" kinda fits... n.n...)

Yep...

SP


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