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Wheel of Anime:  Book 1 - The Eye of God
Chapter Four:  The Road to Whitebridge

By John Biles

http://www.thekeep.org/~wombat/Jordan/


********

	Hinako paced back and forth.  "They're all lost because you wanted
to go into this stupid city!"

	"It seemed our best hope to lose the Fanboys," Setsuna said.  "I
regret that I was mistaken."

	"We will find them," Soun said firmly.

	"How?  We don't know where they are!" Hinako shouted.  She was
about three inches from using her Delinquent Punishing Attack.

	Setsuna reached into her pack and extracted a large red crystal
shaped roughly like a heart which was wrapped round with a golden circular
frame.  It screwed onto the top of her staff.  She tucked a coin into the
frame and began to concentrate as it glowed.  It glowed brighter in
certain directions.  "Ryouga and Ukyou went that way," she said, pointing
north.  "The rest went south and should soon hit the road and end up going
to Whitebridge.  We'd best go after Ryouga and Ukyou, since they're headed
into howling wilderness and the others are not."

	Hinako wanted to argue with her logic, but she couldn't fault it.
"Alright, we'll go that way, as you advised."  She took off north, as if
it had been her plan all along.

	Setsuna smiled slightly and signaled to Soun, then rode after her.

********

	Ukyou yanked her braid.  "Why exactly did I let you lead, Ryouga?"

	"Because, for once, you're just as lost as I am," Ryouga said.

	They'd been wandering through the woods for what seemed like days,
possibly centuries.  It was a maze of twisty, bendy trees all alike.  "I'm
pretty sure we're going north again, when we ought to be going southeast,"
Ukyou said.  "See, if you..."

	And then the pine trees suddenly turned into oaks and beeches, and
the air cooled around them.  Ukyou blinked.  "What the..."

	"Damn, this is one of the really bad ones," Ryouga said warily.

	"Really bad ones?" Ukyou asked.

	"Remember the time I went missing for three days and claimed I was
in Tear?" Ryouga asked.

	"Yeah," Ukyou said.  "That was the last time the Wisdom spanked
you."

	"Well, I WAS in Tear," Ryouga said.  "It doesn't happen often, but
it does happen."

	"Hey, there's a path," Ukyou said, a little relieved.  She dragged
Ryouga over to it.  "Something passes this way frequently."

	He sniffed the air.  "Something funny smelling."

	"I don't smell anything," Ukyou said.

	He shrugged.  "Kind of reptillian smelling to me."

	They turned a bend and came up to a dead body of an unfortunate
deer.  Some sort of predator had ripped it apart.  Within the last hour or
two.  Ryouga walked warily now, umbrella in hand, and so did Ukyou,
carrying her giant spatula, both of them moving off the path and following
it in parallel.  There had been human footprints as well, but they weren't
sure how fresh the prints were.

	They now came into a clearing, which contained a one-story white
house with a mailbox in the front yard.  The front door had been boarded
up.  Two reptiles the size of a horse were tethered to the porch roof's
support poles.  They resembled a cross between a cat and a lizard, with
three cat-like eyes, bronze scales, and six-clawed feet.  A saddle sat on
each of the creatures.  They both turned and looked idly at Ukyou and
Ryouga, staring unblinkingly, and one of them began to keen.

	Ukyou and Ryouga ducked back into the woods as two women came
around the building and began to peer into the woods.  One of them was
tall, with long blue hair, wearing an expensive looking white uniform
jacket and long black pants.  A sword hung at her waist.  The other also
carried a sword, but her coat was blue and her pants green.  Her brown
hair was done up in two strange pony-tails which cascaded up, then down to
each side, and she wore glasses.  She held a small metal box with a glass
circle in the middle of one face.  Holding it up to her eye, she somehow
made it emit a flash of light, then said to her companion, "I didn't see
anything, Kaname-chan."  Her voice had a strangely slurred drawl to it.

	"Probably just a deer, Kyoko," Kaname said.  "Let's get back to
exploring this place."  Her voice had the same drawl.

	"This really doesn't look like a very impressive Age of Legends
ruins to me," Kyoko said.  "I suppose the Council President had some good
reason for sending us here, though."

	"It is probably an ambush," Kaname said.  "Or a deathtrap.  He's
never liked me."

	"You dumped an entire punchbowl over his head before he became
Council President," Kyoko pointed out helpfully.

	"I didn't say he had no reason."

	Ukyou whispered to Ryouga, "Any idea what Council they might be
talking about?"

	"It must be the local Men's Council," Ryouga said.  "With the
'Mayor' being called the President."

	"Ooh, good point.  Should we go ask them where we are?"

	"They seem okay," Ryouga said.  "Let's do it."  He got up and
started to wander off into the woods.  Ukyou grabbed his collar and
dragged him towards the two women.

	The taller woman watched them warily, while the younger woman
smiled cheerfully.  "Hello, I'm Kyoko, and this is High Duellist Kaname
Athaem Kore Masaki.  Come to explore the ruins as well?"

	"What's a High Duellist?" Ryouga asked.  "I'm Ryouga Ayabara and
this is Ukyou al'Vere."

	The two women stared at them in shock.  "You don't know what a
High Duellist is?" Kaname asked in disbelief.

	"We're extremely lost," Ryouga said.  "Wait...are we in Tear
again?"

	Ukyou glanced over at the mailbox and wondered who 'King Dimwit
Flathead' had been and why he had put his name on a metal box on a pole.

	"Yes, I think you are very lost," Kaname said.  "Where are you
from?"

	"The Two Rivers," Ryouga said.

	"Which two rivers?"

	"The only one I know of with that name is our Two Rivers," Ryouga
said.  "Oh, you mean, which two rivers."

	A vein throbbed on Kaname's forehead.  "Yes."

	"The White River and the Taren," Ryouga said.

	"Hmm, never heard of them.  Are you sure you don't know what a
High Duellist is?" Kaname asked.

	"Not a clue," Ryouga said.  "Should I be bowing?"

	"Yes," Kyoko said firmly.

	Ryouga and Ukyou bowed.  "Our apologies, your highness.  Where are
we, if I may ask?" Ukyou asked.

	"In the Flathead forest, just west of the Flathead River," Kaname
said.  "In the province of Zork in the Seanchan Empire."

	"Never heard of it," Ryouga said.  "Is this up in the
Borderlands?"

	"..."

	"Are you insane?" Kyoko asked.

	Ukyou got out her map.  "Okay, I'm not sure where we are now, as I
don't see any 'Seanchan Empire' on here, but maybe you can show us?"

	Kyoko looked at the map, and her eyes widened.  "A map of the
Dar'ela!"

	"The what?" Ukyou asked.

	"The ancient homeland from which our ancestors came here, to which
we will one day return, according to prophecy," Kaname said.  "When...two
people come from that land, bearing news of its decline into
unrighteousness."

	"Prophecy?" Ryouga asked nervously.  "I just fulfilled a prophecy
by getting lost?"

	"Come, sit down," Kaname said.  "Tell us of conditions in the
Dar'ela."

	Ryouga and Ukyou came over and sat down on the porch swing, and
then the interrogation began.

*******

	"Are we there yet?" Kurz asked again.

	Basara frowned.  "No, although we should have reached the road by
now."

	"I think we're going northeast instead of south to the road,"
Ranma said.

	"Well, every time we try to go south, we run into Fanboys again,"
Nanami said.  "We should hit the Manetherendaelle eventually; we can
follow that to Whitebridge, I think."

	"FREE LUM!  FREE LUM!  FREE LUM!!!" came the chant from the south.

	Basara sighed.  "Here we go again."

	They took off running, but the cries persisted in the distance.
After a while, they were all starting to tire, until finally, they came to
the banks of the swiftly rushing Manetherendaelle.  "Great, we're
trapped," Kurz grumbled.  "Never fight with your back to a river, that's
what my father always says."

	"It is?" Ranma asked.  "I never heard him say that."

	Kurz blinked.  "That wasn't father..."  He rubbed his forehead
nervously.  "I guess we fight."

	"How well do you all swim?" Basara asked.

	"Pretty well," Kurz said.

	"Passably," Nanami said.

	"Dammit, I'll turn female again," Ranma said.

	"Would you rather turn dead?" Kurz asked.

	"I could try vamping them," Nanami said dubiously.

	"I think you'd come to regret that," Basara said.  "Though many
fanboys will faint at the sight of beautiful breasts, since they see real
ones so rarely."

	Kurz snickered.

	And then, around a bend in the river, a boat came into view.
Basara waved to the boat.  "Over here!  We need a ride!"

	The boat came closer and lowered a small boat to pick them up.
They jumped into the water and swam out to it, even as the Fanboys came
into sight.  Kurz looked back and felt his body shrivel.  It was the
legendary Fanboy tribe of the Sailor Men.

	"Don't look!  If you stare too long, you'll go blind!" Basara
said, his glasses turning pitch black.

	The Sailor Men began to do a dance and shout slogans as the boat
pulled the four refugees over to it and then was raised up with winches.
They could now read the ship's name:  'Deus ex Machina'.  Yamamoto looked
them up and down.  "They look scruffy, sir.  We should probably throw them
to the Fanboys to delay any pursuit."

	"Now, now, I can't throw two cute women out into the cold like
that," Tylor said.  "You're welcome to stay with us as long as you like."

	"What are we, chopped liver?" Kurz asked.

	"Are they your boyfriends?" Tylor asked Ranma-chan and Nanami.

	"Our brother and our father," Nanami said.

	"Sexy father," Basara added.

	"We were on our way to Whitebridge when our party was separated by
Fanboy attack," Nanami said.  "We were cut off on our own, and don't even
know what has happened to our elder sisters and our poor Mother and
uncle."  Her voice spun a tale of woe and disaster, while her body
advertised her figure through the wet clothing.  She exploited both to
full effect.

	"How tragic," Tylor said.  "We'd be happy to take you."

	"We're VERY grateful," Nanami said, springing forward and hugging
him.  She then let go, a hand trailing down his arm.  "Very."

	Tylor continued to smile his lazy smile.  "Yamamoto, prepare
quarters for them."

	Basara looked carefully at the pin which Tylor was wearing.  "That
looks suspiciously like one of the seals on the Dark One's prison," he
said.

	"Really?  Hmm, must be valuable," Tylor said.

	"..."  Basara was beginning to get a bad feeling about this
apparent stroke of luck.

********

	"So, the empire of Tenchi Hawkwing is gone, as if it had never
been?" Kaname asked sadly.

	"As far as I know," Ryouga said.  "I'm sorry."

	"Well, the Council will have to hear of this," Kaname said.  "It
would seem the time for the Return has come."

	"The Return?" Ukyou asked.

	"When we must return and reclaim Dar'ela to the ways of
righteousness, that it might be ready when Tarmon Gai'don comes and the
Gate of Revolution will finally be found and opened.  When the Rose Bride
comes in truth and power and the Ronin is brought to kneel before the
Crystal Throne.  The end of the age is upon us."  Kaname rose.  "We shall
have to take you two back to Ohtori, to tell the Council of this."

	"That will be a long trip," Kyoko said.

	"It can't be helped," Kaname said.

	"But...we need to get home," Ryouga said.

	"We know not how you found your way here, so all we can offer is a
ride in our boats when the Correne takes place, the Return."

	"..."

	"My apologies."

	Ryouga sighed.  "Well, we'll make do, I guess.  That okay with
you, Ukyou?"

	"Yeah," Ukyou said.  "Can't be helped, I guess.  The others are
going to think we're dead or something."

	Ryouga sighed.  "They'll blame me."

*********

	"How strange, he seems to have moved off to the west suddenly,"
Setsuna said.

	Hinako sighed.  "Maybe he wasn't lying about going to Tear."

	"What?" Soun asked in confusion.

	"He vanished for several days years ago, then claimed he had been
in Tear the whole time.  We thought he must be lying, although we never
did figure out where he got the weird shoes."

	"Weird shoes?" Soun asked.

	"They had this sort of...grill on the bottom."

	"Oh, mud-walkers," Soun said.  "Hmm, so he's in Tear?  But that's
southeast of here."

	Setsuna frowned.  "Perhaps there's a portal stone.  He came back
in three days, you said?"

	Hinako nodded.  "Yes."

	"Well, we found their physical trail.  Let's follow that for now,
and see what we can find," Setsuna said.

	"Found it thanks to ME," Hinako insisted.

	"Yes," Soun said.  "You're a very good tracker."

	"Father hunted a lot and wanted a son," Hinako said.  "I'm not bad
with a bow, either."  She started down the trail.  "So what is a Portal
Stone?"

	"They are relics of a lost civilization.  If you know what you're
doing, you can travel to other worlds woven by the Wheel.  These worlds
are not quite so real as our world, but real enough.  But most of the lore
is lost, so it's dangerous to experiment with them," Setsuna said.
"Yomiko and Nene Sedai probably know more about them than anyone else
does.  And even they don't know much.  I can recognize one, and I know a
tiny handful of destinations, but there are hundreds more I dare not
risk."

	"Other worlds?" Hinako asked, in surprise.

	"Some are much like our own world, but subtly different. Others
are so changed that we would become unrecognizable."

	Hinako glanced over at Soun, who was staring off into the forest
with a rigid look on his face.  He's regretting something, she thought.
Thinking about what could have been.  I ought to do something to cheer him
up.  "Would you like some candy, Soun?" she asked.  Candy always made her
feel better.

	He turned to her, blinking in surprise, then said, "Yes, please,
if you wish to give me some, I will accept it."

	She smiled broadly and dug out her bag of candy, which she gave
him a peppermint from.  While some accused her of being too harsh a
Wisdom, she knew you had to reward good behavior as well as punish bad
actions.  She extracted herself one as well.  "Best not to dwell too much
on what could have been."  Like me not being stuck as a child most of the
time, she thought.

 	Soun sighed.  "I know.  Let's press on."

*********

	"Weren't we going to go to Ohtori?" Ukyou asked as she brought her
spatula around, whacking a Fanboy in the head, sending him toppling off
the top of the bridge.

	"So, what do you think 'glitter' really is in Tiny Snow..."
another Fanboy tried to ask Kaname as she snap-kicked him in the face,
then shoved him off the dam towards the river below.

	"We're trying!" Kaname protested.  "There shouldn't be fanboys
this far south!"

	With his umbrella, Ryouga swept away two more, who fell the
shorter fall into the reservoir.  "Now we're Reservoir Dogs!  Cool!" one
of them shouted.

	"Maybe this really was a trap," Kyoko said.

	"IT'S A TRAP!" all of the Fanboys shouted in unison.  One of them
put on a weird squid-like mask as he did so.

 	"Well, that settles THAT," Kaname said, advancing on Mr. Squid
Head with her sword out.  "Anyone for sashimi?"

********

 	Ukyou ran up the slope of a mountain that seemed to stretch
endlessly before her.  She wasn't sure how she had gotten there.  A
horrible storm was raging over the mountain, which had a huge curving gash
carved into it.  A flash of lightning illuminated the goal of her running.
Five people had Ranma, each of them tugging him in a different direction.
Setsuna was pulling on Ranma's right arm.  Hinako was pulling his left
arm.  A girl with long blonde  hair, done up in two long pony-tails with a
knob at the top of each, wearing a long yellow dress with a tiara was
pulling on Ranma's left leg, while a purple-hairdo
girl in weird clothing was tugging his right leg.  Finally, she recognized
Nanami trying to sell Ranma a boxed lunch.  Behind them all, out of their
sight, a sixth figure lurked in the shadows, watching them all
disdainfully.  None of the others seemed to notice her.

	She spoke, but only Ukyou could hear her.  "I will have you,
Godai.  You were denied me once, but never again.  You will be mine."

	Ukyou shouted, "LET GO OF RANMA!  You can't have him!  None of you
can have him!"

	Ranma shouted, "Ucchan, help me!  They're trying to tear me
apart!"

	She tried to run to him, but it was like trying to run through a
rushing river.  The very air resisted her movement.

	Setsuna said, "You cannot defy the will of the wheel.  It will
weave you away from his life."

	Hinako said, "You all have to come back to Nerima's field and have
a normal life!"

	The purple haired girl said, "Ranma must come join the Masons, and
the Kiwanis, and the Elks, and..."

	"Together, we will rule over the nations," the girl with the crown
said.  "You will be mine, as you were before.  We will save the world
together."

	"C'mon, Ranma, you know I always give you a special deal.  And the
dessert will knock your socks off.  And maybe a few other items of
clothing.  I guarantee it."  Nanami winked at Ranma.

	Ukyou felt herself getting angrier.  She began advancing faster.
"HE IS MINE!"

	The woman in the shadows laughed.  "You always think that, but you
always lose him in the end.  You did last time, and you will this time as
well.  He turns to you only because he cannot have the one he wants!"

	It began to rain, and Ranma turned female.  She howled.  The women
and the boy didn't seem to care.  They continued to tug him in different
directions.  Her rage peaked, and the resistance shattered in a burst of
light.  She leapt forward and grabbed Ranma to pull him away from them,
but even at the height of her strength, all she could do was pull the
whole mob around.

	"If you try to fight the will of the Wheel, it will only grind you
beneath it,"  Setsuna said.

	"I don't care what the Wheel wants!"

	"It feels the same of you," Setsuna said.  "If you cannot learn to
flow with the Power instead of fighting it, it will destroy you, just like
the Wheel does to those who fight it."

	Ukyou howled and felt Power erupt out of her.  Everyone went
flying, and the dream shattered.

*************

	Ukyou and Ryouga awoke in a crater, surrounded by knocked down
trees.  There was not a sign of the High Duellist Kaname and her
companion, not even a body.  Ukyou rubbed her eyes.  "What happened?"

	"I don't know, but something like a huge clap of thunder woke me
up," Ryouga said.  "And we're back in the Pine Forest."

	"Well, we still have our blankets."  Ukyou frowned.  "They seemed
like nice people.  I hope they didn't get hurt."

	"Yeah, me too."

*********

	"We didn't go to sleep up tangled up in a mat of collapsed trees,
did we?" Kyoko asked.

	Kaname snapped the branches around herself and wrenched loose.
"Dammit, I should have been asking myself how they could have gotten all
the way here, but I was too eager to go running off to report fulfilled
prophecy to even really think about it.  The woman must have been a
marath'matrimon."

	Kyoko shivered.  "Running loose?  With that much power?"

	"This is exactly the sort of reason why our ancestors created the
Duellists and turned them all into Brides," Kaname said.  "They were
tearing Seanchan apart with their powers, Breaking the World a little more
each day.  And that was the relatively sane female ones."  She shuddered.
"Imagine if the male ones ran loose."

	"Let's not," Kyoko said.  "Though..."

	"Though some Duellists abuse their Brides?" Kaname asked softly.

	Kyoko said, "I know a few bad apples can't mean the whole crop is
spoiled, but..."

	Kaname frowned.  "I know what you mean.  People like Saionji or
Touga or Kozue...they take it too far.  It just...but there's just not
another way.  If we don't rein them in, they rampage and destroy and plot
endlessly and hurt the innocent.  I just don't know what else we could
do."

	Kyoko managed to wrench herself loose.  "Are you still going to
tell the Council President about all this?  We have no proof now."

	Kaname dug something out of the tangled mass of trees.  A map.
The marath'matrimon's map.  "This may be proof enough at least to send a
scouting expedition to confirm if it is accurate and not some
marath'matrimon trick."

	"Then let's take it to Ohtori and see what Council President Touga
decides to do with it."

************

 	Hinako sat up, her head throbbing.  "Did you hear that?" she asked
Setsuna, as she sat up.

	"I felt it," Setsuna said.  "Massive amounts of channeling.  And
now Ryouga is back."

	"But...you can't mean that..." Hinako began frantically.

	"Probably Ukyou.  She has the potential, as I told you, and now it
has awakened.  She's with Ryouga, after all," Setsuna said.  "So don't
worry about Ryouga."

	"Should we go find them?" Hinako asked.

	"I only barely heard anything," Soun said.  "They must be hours
and hours away.  We can't get there before they would have woken and moved
on, so better we rest now and press on in the day."

	"Alright," Hinako said reluctantly.  "Are you going to stay up all
night?"

	"I will rest later," he said.  "But for now, I will watch over you
both."

	Hinako smiled.  She liked having him watching over her; he made
her feel safe.  "Alright.  Back to sleep."

********

	Kurz looked around the room, trying to figure out how he'd gotten
off the Deus ex Machina and into a huge domed room with a large metal
contraption near one of the walls.  For lack of something better to do, he
wandered over to the machine, which seemed to consist of many tubes and
metal spheres full of holes.

	"Hello, traveller," a man's voice said.

	Kurz started, then turned and saw a handsome man, dark skinned and
purple haired, clad in expensive white and purple clothing which screamed
'I am royalty'.  "Umm, hello, sir," he said, taking off his hat.  "Should
I bow?"

	The man shook his head, walking over.  "No need to bow.  I do not
stand on formalities."  He flicked a switch on the machine, and lights
began to play about the ceiling, showing the stars, while the rest of the
room went dark.    The various globes began to slowly rotate and the stars
drifted across the ceiling.  "Pardon an old man's eccentricities."

	"Oh wow, this is amazing," Kurz said, staring up at the stars.
"Did you make this?"

	"I have never been an artificer," the man said.  "And this was
made thousands of years ago, before the Breaking of the World.  Though I
had it made for me, as I have always loved to study the stars."

	"Where am I?"

	"I am Prince Dios, and this is my castle," he said.  "And who are
you?"

	"I am Kurz Cauthon.  Nice to meet you.  Umm, how did I get here?"

	"This is but a dream.  We are within the world of dreams, and you
have dreamed your way here," Prince Dios said.  "I wait here, until the
Ronin is reborn, and he calls us all with the Horn of Valere to fight for
him."

	"Oh wow, you are one of the Heroes of the Horn?" Kurz asked.

	Dios nodded.  "We seek the Ronin, that we might know who to serve
in this age."

	"Well, I haven't met him," Kurz said.

	"You might be him," Dios said casually.

	"What?" Kurz asked in disbelief.

	"We know he has been reborn, and we seek his dreams.  But we have
not yet found him," Dios said.

	"Isn't he supposed to Break the World again?" Kurz asked
nervously.

	"He will lead the Forces of the Light to glory and victory over
the Shadow," Dios replied.  "Without him, all will perish.  We must find
him, before the Shadow does, yet we cannot touch the Waking World
directly, for it is against the laws.  I can only tell you this much
because your dreams led you to me."

	"Well, I doubt any of us is the Ronin reborn.  Although..."  Kurz
frowned.  "It would explain why all those Fanboys are after us.  But why
all three of us?"

	"Perhaps they are not sure which of you is the Ronin, either.
Have your fathers ever been to Tar Valon?"

	"Tar Valon?"

	"The Roninmount, where the Ronin is to be reborn, is near there.
Thus, if any of you were the Ronin, you would have to have been born
outside your homeland and brought there after your birth."

	"We're all native, as far as I know," Kurz said.  "Although Father
has been to Baerlon once for a really big horse trading deal.  He never
told me how BIG it was, though."

	Prince Dios looked thoughtful.  "Well, you are welcome to visit me
any time you like.  Should you hear anything, I would be most grateful if
you did."

	"Well, I would if I could, but I don't know how I got here."

	Prince Dios reached into his pocket and pulled out a signet ring
with a white rose insignia.  "Wear this.  It will draw you back here
whenever you wish to visit."

	Kurz took it and put it on, noticing Dios wore such a ring
himself.  "Very nice," he said.

	Dios smiled, and looked up at the stars.  "Take a look at this."

	Kurz looked up, studying the stars.  They began to move, the night
sky shifting and changing, until finally, the night sky seemed almost
unrecognizable.  "What's going on?"

	"That is the night sky as it appeared exactly halfway along one
rotation of the Wheel of Time from us."  He pushed another button and the
sky shifted again, gradually reassuming its familiar shape, until it was
once again as he knew it.  "And that is it, exactly one rotation ago, when
this age last came."

	"History turns to legend.  Legend turns to myth.  And in the end,
even legend is forgotten," Kurz said.  "That's what Basara told us in one
of his stories.  But you...you remember these things, don't you."

	"Yes," Dios said, a little sadly.  "Whenever I am reborn, I
remember nothing, but as I am here, I remember it all.  It is somewhat
different each time, but the same."

	"Huh?"

	"I cannot explain it clearly," Dios said.  "I am not supposed to
tell you how it happened last time.  It creates disruptions in the
Pattern.  So, my library contains the stories of all that was, but I can't
share them with anyone who doesn't already know.  There are rules, which
even we must obey."

	"Can you at least tell me if the next woman I flirt with really is
going to kick me in the balls?" Kurz asked.

	Dios stared at him, then laughed.  "A wise man, faced with a
prophecy he does not like, finds a way to fulfill it with minimum pain."

	Kurz parsed that, then smiled.  "Ahh, I see what you mean."

	The room began to waver, and Dios said, "I think you are about to
wake up.  Farewell, Kurz Cauthon.  May the Wheel weave you pleasantly."

	Kurz woke up, feeling nature's call.  After taking care of his
business, he came back to lie down, only to notice he was now wearing a
white rose signet ring.  "Wow," he muttered to himself.  "I'll have to ask
Basara if he knows any stories about Prince Dios."

**********

 	'EAT MORE BEEF' the sign proclaimed.  Ryouga stared at it.  "Who
tacked this up in the middle of the woods?"

	Ukyou scratched her head.  "Not a clue, but they had good
handwriting."

	Ryouga sniffed the air.  "Ugh, something dead."

	"Dead?" Ukyou asked.

	He pointed with his umbrella.  A short distance away, they found
the remains of a deer, mostly eaten.  Ryouga studied it and frowned.  "I
think a boar killed it."

	Ukyou studied the grounds.  "Some kind of hoofprints.  I wish the
Wisdom was here; she'd know what did this."

	"Just look at the gore marks," Ryouga said.  "It's pretty..."  He
paused, sniffed the air, and walked around a tree.  "Okay, this is
strange."

	"What is..."  Ukyou came around the tree and stared.  "Since when
did boars make fires?"  The cooking pit was fairly recently used and
nicely set up with large rocks to keep the fire from spreading.

	"A very good question," Ryouga said.  "Maybe it's Saldeans.  Don't
they use War Boars?"

	"You can't really believe they ride giant pigs into battle, can
you?" Ukyou asked.

	"I didn't think Fanboys could be real, either," Ryouga said,
sighing.  "I guess we have to be prepared for anything."

	"Well, if it is Saldeans, maybe they came here in pursuit of the
Fanboys.  They'd have had to get through Saldea to get to us, right?"
Ukyou asked.

	"Let's check your map," Ryouga said.

	She dug through her pockets.  "Dammit, it's gone!"

	"Well, maybe we'll get lucky and I'll land us in Tear."

	Ukyou sighed.  "Let's follow the tracks.  At least it gives us
some idea where to go."

*********

	"Prince Dios?" Basara asked.  "Yes, he was a prince of ancient
Jaramide, during the Fanboy Wars.  He fought many valiant battles against
them in defense of the helpless.  Unfortunately, he was never seen again
after the fall of Mirashelle.  You had a dream about him?"

	Kurz showed him the ring.  "He gave me this."

	Basara blinked.  "He gave it to you in a dream and you woke up
with it?"

	"Yes."

	"Looks valuable," Nanami said, studying it.

	"I'd be wary of it," Basara said.  "It might be a gift from a Hero
of the Horn, or it might be some sort of trap.  I've heard stories that
some servants of the Shadow can enter people's dreams."

	Kurz frowned.  "Huh.  Well, he seemed nice to me."

	"I wish people would come into my dreams and give me jewelry,"
Nanami said.

	"Not me," Ranma-chan said.  "Bad enough I can't seem to stay male
on this ship, I don't need jewelry too."

	Nanami came over to her and said, "Well, you could be a real
knockout if you wanted to be, like this."  She slid a hand along
Ranma-chan's right arm.  "Men go crazy for a body like this; makes it
really easy to get things from them."

	"I just wanna be a guy again," Ranma said.

	"I'm just saying that if you have an edge, you've got to work it
for all it's worth," Nanami said.

	"Yep," Kurz said.  "Hey, Yamamoto, when do we get to Whitebridge?"

	Yamamoto looked across the deck at him.  "Three days."

	"That calls for a celebration!" Tylor said.  "I'll get out some
wine."

	Yamamoto sighed.  "You think everything calls for a celebration."

	"And this is a problem?" Tylor asked cheerfully.

	Yamamoto said, "You can't party all the time."

	"That's true.  Sometimes you have to clean things back up or sleep
or eat."

********

	Madoka, the Wise One of Cold Feet Hold, a stronghold of the
Animeigo tribe of the Aiel, looked down from the balcony and sighed.  Her
sister-daughter, Shampoo, was playing 'Whack the Stone Dog' with Naru,
Mutsumi, and Motoko, using poor Keitaro as their victim again.  How can he
be so patient with them, she asked herself.  Not that patience is a bad
quality in a man, but putting up with this more than once was overdoing
it.  Mutsumi wasn't too bad, as she was very gentle, but Shampoo, Naru,
and Motoko didn't seem to be holding back at all.

	She tugged her skirt irritably and wished that the other Wise Ones
hadn't decided that guitar picks counted as weapons so she couldn't carry
them anymore.  But that was dust in the wind and decades past, besides.
She had learned more subtle methods, though using subtlety on Shampoo was
a waste of water, so to speak.

	"Shampoo."  She spoke just loud enough that Shampoo could hear
without appearing to be shouting.

	Shampoo didn't hear her.  She whacked Keitaro in the head with her
bonbori while he was trying to dodge blows from the others.  It was the
third Wednesday of the month and by the rules of his club, Keitaro
couldn't strike anyone without owing them a year of window washing, which
he really hated.  Luckily, it wasn't also the third month of the year, in
which case he would also have owed them a lifetime supply of rice-a-roni
and a golden Shmoo if he struck any of them.  The rules of Tic-tac-toe are
easily a snare for those unwilling to memorize all 5,235.34 of them.

	Madoka raised her voice slightly.  "Shampoo."

	Yusaku turned to chew out Shampoo, then Naru and Motoko whacked
him in the back of the knees, while Mutsumi tickled him.  The rules of
their club required randomly tormenting Stone Dogs on this day of the
month, so that is what they were doing.  Sure, most of the other Sisters
of the Mallet made sure they didn't encounter Stone Dogs they liked on
this day, but Shampoo, Naru, and Motoko tended to be rather sticklers for
rules, and Mutsumi always seemed to get dragged along with them.  It
wasn't that they disliked Keitaro...well, Shampoo and Mutsumi didn't seem
to normally dislike Keitaro, anyway.  They were simply following the
rules.  This was the day you tormented Stone Dogs.

	Hikaru walked out onto the balcony besides Madoka.  She looked
down and frowned.  "They shouldn't do that to Keitaro.  Of course, he
ought to have the sense to not go out in public on the third Wednesday of
the month, but still..."  Like Madoka, she wore a simple white shirt and a
gaily colored skirt that went down to her ankles.  Unlike Madoka, she also
wore a pair of gold earrings and a bright red bandanna in her blonde hair,
which was starting to grey.

	"Shampoo,"  Madoka repeated a third time, a little bit louder.

	"SHAMPOO!  GET YOUR DEAF SELF UP HERE!"  Hikaru shouted.  "Or I'll
make you rearrange all the furniture in the ENTIRE hold, again!"

	That got Shampoo's attention.  She could pretend to not hear her
sister-mother, but when the roofmistress shouted her name all over
creation, she had to answer.  Half the hold was staring at her.

	Madoka stifled the urge to laugh.  Unlike herself, Hikaru had
never been big on dignity.  Nor had the threat been an idle one.  One of
the rights of the roofmistress was to demand help moving furniture.  Cold
Rocks had accumulated a LOT of furniture, especially since Hikaru tended
to buy every piece of furniture that traders brought into the Three-Ply
Land, or at least every piece brought to their hold.  What was a
'Audiovisual center', anyway?

	Shampoo quickly climbed up the wall to the balcony, since it was
faster than going through the interior of the hold.  Shampoo believed
firmly in the proposition that a straight line wasn't just the shortest
route between two points, it was always the best route.  She spent a lot
of time repairing walls as a result.

	"Aiya, why you take Shampoo away from her duty,
Great-Grand-Mother?"

	Madoka only barely resisted the urge to whack Shampoo in the head.
"I am your sister-mother, not your Great-Grand-Mother!"  Shampoo had
always called her that for reasons Madoka could not comprehend.  "Anyway,
the time has come for you to become a Wise One."

	Only Shampoo's iron-clad will kept her from screaming.  That and
the fact that the last time she screamed, Madoka had used her patented
triple-slap on her.  It was some sort of channeling trick, Shampoo was
certain.  "Shampoo not want to become Wise One."

	"You have the talent.  You must learn.  Still, there is one thing
you could do for us before you begin your training, if you are reluctant
to start at once."

	"Aiya!  Shampoo do anything to avoid wearing ugly cloth...to serve
the Wise Ones."

	Maybe she's starting to learn some tiny smidgen of sense, Madoka
thought.  "We have to send you across the mountains into the Wetlands."

	She waited for Shampoo to scream, but Shampoo fainted instead.
Hikaru turned to Madoka.  "You shouldn't make jokes like that."

	"I wasn't joking."

	Hikaru fainted this time.  Madoka sighed.  I bet they'll faint
again when I tell them why.  Feigning unconsciousness to avoid bad news
was perhaps the most annoying of the 3,245 Aiel customs listed in the
latest issue of 'Aiel Anthropology Today', which she really needed to read
when she found time.  The Anthropologist Aardvarks got annoyed when you
didn't read their journal, and if they found out, under rule
2456-subsection B of Tic'Tac'Toe, they could require you to listen to a
reading of their latest paper, which was almost as much fun as being
suspended over an antbed while covered with honey.  Madoka knew this by
experience, which despite its reputation is not the best teacher, at least
if you don't like pain.

*************************

	"Mmm, that smells really good," Ukyou said, sniffing the air.  Her
stomach growled.

	"Beef, it's what's for dinner, I hope," Ryouga said, speeding up.

	They came to the edge of a clearing and found a dark-haired girl,
about their age, busily cooking steaks over a large firepit, as a
half-dozen boars lounged about, waiting to be fed.  Her yellow eyes
glinted in the firelight, looking a little eerie, though her smile was
wide and sincere.  "Hello there!" she said, waving.  "You two look to be a
long way from your home."

	"Yeah, we're hideously lost, thanks to genius-boy here," Ukyou
said.

	"Hey, I'm not the one who lost the map."

	"I'm not the one who sent us to another continent!"

	"Well, I'm not the one who blew a hole in the forest!" Ryouga
protested.

	The woman waved her hands nervously.  "I'm sure neither of you
meant to get lost."

	Ukyou sighed and slumped to the ground.  "We're trying to get to
Whitebridge."

	"Well, you're on your way to Kandor, instead," the woman said.
"Oh, my name's Akari.  What's yours?"

	"I'm Ukyou al'Vere, and this is Ryouga Ayabara," Ukyou said.  "And
we've been lost for days and lost all our supplies and my grill and
everything."  She sighed.

	"Well, if you don't mind beef and noodles..." Akari began.

	"BEEF AND NOODLES!" Ryouga proclaimed, then looked embarrassed.
"We'd be very grateful."

	"Chamberlain, can you bring me the noodle bag?" she asked one of
the boars.

	The boar got up and dragged the bag over to her.  She began
getting out more noodles.  "They told me to expect visitors, so I stocked
up," she said.

	"Who did?" Ukyou asked.

	"The boars," Akari said, patting the boar fondly on the head.
"They were a little wary of you," she said, looking at Ukyou, "But they
seem to like Ryouga."

	"Are you Saldean?" Ryouga asked.

	"I'm not insane enough to be Saldean," Akari said.  "I just talk
to pigs, like in the elder times."

	"Like in the elder times?" Ryouga asked.

	"Thousands of years ago, before channeling was re-discovered, men
and pigs lived together in harmony, led by those who could talk to them.
Then dark times came, and the Dark One convinced men pigs made better
dinners than friends.  It's all part of the evil cow conspiracy, you see."
She sounded very sad.  "Men forgot how to talk to pigs.  But now, the
talent for it is starting to come back, with people like me."

	One of the boars nuzzled against Ryouga's leg like a cat.
Nervously, he petted it.  "Good boy," he said weakly.

	The boar purred, or tried to, anyway.

	"Do you know the way to Whitebridge?" Ukyou asked.

	"Yes, I do," Akari said.  "I have some friends who are going that
way; I'm sure they can help you get there."  She started fixing some more
food.

	"Thanks," Ukyou said.

	"You're welcome," Akari replied.

***********

	Ranma-chan wiped her forehead and stared off across the water.
"Ugh," she said.

	"You shouldn't have drunk so much," Basara said.  "If you can't
handle it."

	"This isn't just a hangover, I think I have the flu or something,"
she said, taking his hand and putting it on her forehead.  "Do I have a
fever?"

	"A little," he said, frowning.  "But the doctor on this ship is a
quack, I don't think he'll be any help."

	"I wish Wisdom Hinako was here," Ranma-chan muttered.  "She'd know
the right herbs for this."

	"Once we hit Whitebridge, we can take you to a local wise woman,"
Basara said.  "Just hold on."

	She clutched the railing, feeling a little nauseous.  "I will."
She paused.  "Basara."

	"Hmm?" he asked.

	"Thanks for sticking with us," she said.  "When you didn't have
to."

	"You're good kids," he said softly.  "I couldn't just leave you on
your own to die."  A little louder, he said, "And we get to put our
expenses on the White Tower's tab."

 	Ranma-chan laughed.  "That's one way of looking at it."

	"Love makes the world go round, but money pays for the flowers and
candy," Basara said.  He glanced off across the woods.  "I'm sure the
others are alright," he said.

	"Yeah, they'll be fine, I'm sure," Ranma-chan said.  "I think."

	They heard the sound of a foot hitting metal and an angry woman
yelling, then the sound of Kurz being hit in the head with something.
Ranma-chan glanced over at Basara.  "Do you think we ought to check on
him?"

	"He's young.  He'll recover."

*******

	There was a distant explosion.  Ryouga looked suspiciously at
Ukyou, who said, "Hey, it wasn't me!"

	"Ahh, we're almost there," Akari said, riding alongside them.
Each of them was astride a boar, moving quickly through the woods.

	"Almost..."  Ryouga paused.  "Wait..."

	He and Ukyou looked at each other.  "Tinkers," they said in
unison.

	"They're very nice," Akari said, smiling.

	"If we start running now..." Ryouga began.

	It was too late, as several men and women in labcoats emerged from
among the trees.  "Akari!  It's so good of you to come visit!" one of
them, a short woman with red spikey hair said.  "And you brought us
experimental subjects!"

	"Hi, Dr. Wasyuu!" Akari said.  "This is Ryouga Ayabara and Ukyou
al'Vere.  They got lost in the woods.  Do you think you can help them get
to Whitebridge?"

	Wasyuu clapped her hands gleefully.  "We can test THE
MEGA-CATAPULT!"

	"We were hoping to just ride along with you," Ryouga said.

	"But that wouldn't be even HALF as exciting," Wasyuu said.

	"Boredom is good," Ryouga said.

	Ukyou nodded firmly.

	"Fine," Wasyuu said.  "I could use some help taking care of my
carnivorous plant collection."

	"..."

	Another one of the Tinkers, a blonde woman with glasses, said, "I
claim the girl.  I need a pilot once I get Hawkwing's statue to come to
life."

	"Oh, like THAT will happen in this lifetime," Wasyuu said
derisively.  "It wasn't designed to be a giant warmachine, you know,
Ritsuko."

	"It wouldn't be any fun if it was," Ritsuko said.

	"So how's your boyfriend doing up north, anyway?" Wasyuu asked as
they now headed into the camp and Ryouga planned his escape.

	The camp was a collection of roofed wagons, virtual miniature
houses and laboratories on wheels, all drawn up to form a delta around the
central campfire, where food preparation experiments were being conducted.

	"We'd be a lot closer to completing the project if he hadn't
decided he was prophesied to be the Ronin and save the world," Ritsuko
said.  "I told him Saldea was a lousy place to start, but you know him.
He just doesn't listen to reason."

	"He can be like that," Akari said.  "So what's for dinner
tonight?"

	"Professor H. M. Wogglebug is mixing up a batch of his food
pills," Wasyuu said.  "Hopefully, these won't turn people into food this
time."

	Ryouga prayed for Ukyou to explode again.

********

	The Deus ex Machina was awash with clothing, clothing hanging from
every line, every pole, every single elevated part of the ship.  This was
because Tylor had declared it to be laundry day.  Nanami had taken charge
of the laundry work, as she had experience in it.  Yamamoto was pleased
with the results; for once the whites were white and the darks were dark
and the lights were light, instead of EVERYTHING somehow turning plaid.

	"You did a very good job," Yamamoto said to her.

	She smiled.  "Thank you," then handed him a slip of paper.

	"What is this?" he asked.

	"The bill for my services."

	"..."

	"What, you expected me, a paying customer, to do all the ship's
laundry for FREE?" she asked.

	"But this...This is twice what all four of you together paid to
ride with us!"

	"And?" Nanami asked.  "I gave you a ten percent discount because
you supplied all the cleansers yourself."

	"Captain!" Yamamoto shouted.

	Tylor came over from where Basara was giving Ranma and Kurz guitar
lessons.  "My rendition of Smoke on the Water wasn't that bad, was it?"

	"Look at this!" Yamamoto proclaimed, handing a piece of paper to
Tylor.

	Tylor looked at it.  "It's a bill."

	"Yes."

	"So, pay the bill."

	"But...we'll lose money!  And it's just..."

	"Now, now, she's been working hard all day while you've just been
shouting orders," Tylor said.

	"I don't think we even have this much cash, once we pay everyone,"
Yamamoto said.  "Not until we sell those pickled plums and the peppers."

	"Well, then, I'll just have to make sure you get a good deal,"
Nanami said, rubbing her hands.  "So you can pay me."

	"See, that way, we all win," Tylor said.  "Now I can go back to my
music lesson, and Nanami can go back to the laundry, and you can go back
to shouting and stamping about and everyone will be happy, right?"

	Yamamoto sighed.  "Right."

*********

	Ukyou rubbed her forehead.  How did I get talked into this, she
asked herself.  "And you call this..."

	"My Beautiful Night bread!" Dr. Fogler pronounced.  The bread in
question was a charred mass which might at one time have been rye.

	"Do you have any butter?"

	"Here you go," Dr. Carver said, passing her a jar full of some
sort of brown paste.

	"It's brown."

	"I made it from peanuts," he said.

	"..."

	"It's very good," Dr. Wasyuu said grudgingly.  "Much better than
the turnip butter was."

	"I would have perfected that EVENTUALLY," Dr. Machinegal grumbled.

	Ukyou tried some.  "Wow, it is good.  I thought everything here
blew up or poisoned you, but..."

	"Well, we're still searching for the Bomb," Dr. Wasyuu said.  "But
we haven't found it yet."

	"The Bomb?" Ryouga asked, not sure if he wanted to know.

	"The perfect explosive.  Once we find that, our lives will be
complete.  In the meantime, we advance the ways of science and travel
around the world, one step ahead of rioting mobs, who can't appreciate our
genius," Dr. Frankenstein said.

	"I see," Ukyou said.  "So how long will it take us to get to
Whitebridge?"

	"We could be there tomorrow, if only these fools would let me test
my steam-driven wagon!" Dr. Bunsen Honeydew said.  His constant lab
assistant, a redhaired man, waved his hands in the transuniversal sign
which means 'For the love of the Creator, please say NO to him!'.

	"So, instead, we should make it there in about a week or two,
depending on how many times a wagon explodes and has to be fixed," Dr.
Wasyuu said.

	"Or if we accidentally shift into another dimension, it could take
much longer," Dr. Ritsuko said.

	Ukyou looked over at Ryouga.  "Don't do it, Ryouga."

	"Hey, YOU are the one who blew up the woods!"

	"Blew up the woods?" Dr. Wasyuu asked curiously.

	I am going to KILL you, Ryouga, Ukyou thought.

********

	"Do you have anything to declare?" the customs officer asked
Tylor.

 	"It's a mighty fine later winter day," he said.

	"As in, any goods you've brought into the country?"

	"Yamamoto is always telling me I'm up to no good, so I'd have to
say no," he said.

	"..."

	"Anything else?"

	"If you're not hauling goods, what is your business here?" the
official asked.

	"We're dropping off some passengers and selling some peppers so we
can afford to pay them."

	"So you are bringing goods into the country," the man said.

	"No, we're selling them here in the city," Tylor said.

	"..."

	"So we can afford to pay our passengers."

	"You're paying your passengers?"

	"Yes, we worked it all out, and we owe them money."

	"For sailing with you," the customs agent said.

	"Yes."  Tylor paused.  "Do they count as imported goods?  We're
not selling them."

	The customs agent's eyes began to fuzz over.  "You're going to
sell your passengers in order to pay them the money you owe them for the
peppers?"

	"No, no, we're not selling the passengers, we're selling the
peppers."

	"Who you owe money to."

	"Let me try again," Tylor said.

	"Just...go.  Go away.  Take your peppers and sell them to your
passengers or whatever."

	"Well, I just..."

	"Go!  Go!  Go!"

	Tylor went.

	"How much do we owe?" Yamamoto asked.

	"He just asked me to go away," Tylor said, shrugging.  He turned
to Nanami.  "Ready to sell those peppers?"

	She nodded.  "Let's go!"

**********

	"Are you ready?" Nanami asked Ranma-chan.

	"Are you SURE I should be doing this?" she asked.  She was pretty
sure that wearing a bunny costume was NOT a standard part of selling bulk
merchandise.

	"You're more stacked than I am," Nanami said.  "If you've got it,
flaunt it and get paid for it, as they say.  Besides, I'm wearing one
too."

	Ranma-chan sighed.  "Wisdom Hinako would kill me."

	"I don't see Wisdom Hinako," Kurz said.

	"If I see one drop of drool, you die, Kurz," Ranma-chan said.

	"I'm certainly not drooling," he said.  "And at least you get to
wear a partial top," he continued.  "I'm having to go topless."

	"Use what you've got," Nanami said.  "Let's make some sales."

	Basara tagged along, watching Nanami negotiate.  The merchants
found it hard to concentrate on anything besides the unusually bare flesh
around them, and she closed several deals with a lot more success than he
would have expected.  She has good instincts, he thought.

	"Your daughter is quite impressive," Tylor said.  "And the rest of
your children."

	"Yes, I know," Basara said.

	"You seem to have been a good father to them."

	"Sexy father," Basara added.

	"So, are you going to wait here and see if the rest of your family
makes it?"

	"We should," Basara said.  "You going to head on downstream?"

	Tylor nodded.  "We'll set sail tomorrow morning."

	"Good luck."

	"And to you as well," Tylor said.

*********

	Nanami said to the innkeeper of The Silver Crown, "We need two
rooms."

	"What, you get a room to yourself?" Ranma-chan asked her.

	"One for the girls, one for the guys," Nanami said.

	"I'm a guy!" Ranma-chan protested.

	The innkeeper looked at her dubiously.

	"I'm paying, so I decide," Nanami said.

	Ranma-chan sighed.  "Okay, okay."

	They went upstairs and unpacked, which was easy as they had little
to unpack.  "So, are we going to wait here for the others?" Kurz asked.

	"I will circulate around the town and see if I find news of them
coming through," Basara said.  "They may already be here, at another inn."

	"Sounds good to me," Nanami said.  "Let's get some food, take a
bath, and go to bed."

********

	"Aren't you going to take a bath?" Nanami asked Ranma-chan.

	"Gonna have a tub sent up here," Ranma-chan said.  "I can't go to
the public baths, or I'll get clobbered either way."

	"Hmm, well, we could share a tub," Nanami suggested.

	Ranma-chan sweated.  "But I'm gonna turn male during all this!"

	"You say that like it's bad," she said, grinning.

	"Don't tease me like that," Ranma-chan protested.

	"Okay, I'll go down and have them send the stuff up, then.  See
you later."

	Ranma-chan took her bath, shivering more.  I hate being sick, she
thought.  Once she turned into a man from the hot water, he lay in the
water for as long as he could, then got out and doused himself with cold
water, though he wished he could stay male.  Unfortunately, it would look
bad if two girls checked in and only one checked out.

	Nanami was still in the baths, so Ranma-chan got into the big
double bed and went to sleep.

**********

	Ranma-chan found herself elegantly dressed in red and black, her
hair done up with ribbons and bows and jewels and golden chains, topped
with a tiara.  She was at a grand ball of some kind, feeling a little
confused as to how she got there.

 	Soon, she spotted the punch bowl, and decided to get a drink and
try to find out where she was.  The smiling server, a purple-haired woman
with dark skin, said, "You look wonderfully elegant today, Princess."

	"Princess?  When did I become a Princess?" Ranma-chan asked.

	"Every woman is either a Princess or a Witch," the woman informed
her primly.  "You don't want to be a Witch, do you?"

	"Well, no, not really," Ranma-chan said.  "But I'm a guy."

	The woman leaned across the table and poked her breast.

	"That's just from this curse thing.  Give me some hot water, and
I'll show you."

	The dark-skinned woman passed her a teakettle.  Ranma-chan poured
it over her head.  Nothing happened.  "What?  Dammit, it must not have
been hot enough."

	"Now, now, only Witches curse," the woman said.

	"I'm a guy!  We swear!" Ranma-chan insisted.

	"Oh dear, would you like a towel?" a man asked Ranma-chan.

	"Yeah, please," Ranma-chan said.

	The tall, dark-skinned man handed her a towel, which she used to
dry herself off as best she could.  "Thanks.  I'm Ranma, what's your
name?"

	"I am Prince Dios, Princess Ranma."

	"Hey, did you meet my friend Kurz?"

	"Oh, you know Prince Kurz?"

	"PRINCE Kurz?" Ranma-chan asked in disbelief.

	"Yes," Prince Dios said.  "Would you like to dance?"

	"I can't dance with a guy."

	"She thinks she is a man," the dark-skinned woman said.

	It suddenly struck Ranma that they looked like siblings.  "Hey,
you two related?"

	"This is my sister, Princess Rose.  I hope you two will be good
friends," Dios said, smiling benevolently.  "So, you think you are a man?"

	"I know I am," Ranma-chan said.  "Just get me hot enough water,
and I'll show you."

	"Well, I suppose I could ask Rose to take you to the baths.  We
have a hotspring."

	"That would be great," Ranma-chan said.  "Thanks."

	They went to the baths, but no matter what they did, Ranma-chan
didn't change back.  She sank into the hot water.  "I don't understand."

	"Perhaps you only dreamed of being a boy.  I once dreamed I was a
wheel of cheese," Princess Rose said.

	"..."

	"Worst of all, my pet mouse ate me.  But no matter.  Let's get you
dressed so you don't miss the whole ball."

	"But...this is just a dream," Ranma-chan insisted.

	"Who can tell what is real and what is dream?  We can only go by
what is happening to us now, and it seems you are all woman here, whatever
may happen in your dreams," the Rose Princess said.

	"Well, if I'm stuck, at least I can..."  Ranma-chan began, then
she felt herself shake.  "What the..."

	And then she shook awake.  Basara was standing over both her and
Nanami, and they could hear the undulating wail of the Fanboys.  "SIEG
ZION!"

	"Come on," Basara said.  "The fanboys have slipped into the town,
and we must flee."

	They ended up leaping out of a second story window into an
alleyway, then taking off through the streets, the distant shouts slowly
getting closer.  "How are we going to get out of town?  The gates are
closed at night," Kurz asked.

	Basara ducked into an alleyway, and emerged dressed in a watch
commander's uniform, complete with mask.  "I'll order the gates opened,"
he said.

	"Wow," Kurz said.

	"Where did you get a mask of the watch commander?" Nanami asked.

	"I made it, just in case," Basara said.

	He got them out the gates, and they headed onto the bridge itself,
a great arch made of white heartstone long, long ago.  It was virtually
indestructible, and had outlasted the civilization which made it long ago.

	They could make out shadowy figures in the darkness ahead as they
ran, and then there was a sudden burst of wind, and four lagmen suddenly
zoomed forward, and attacked Basara.  He looked at them, and at the
children, then said, "Run!  I'll hold them here!"

	"We can't leave you!" Ranma-chan protested, then began to cough.
She stumbled and Nanami caught her.

	Basara shouted, "Their lag will clear soon and they'll come after
you!  Go!  I'll catch up with you later if I can!"

	They took off running.  Nanami was crying, and Ranma-chan and Kurz
both fought not to cry, both feeling very cowardly down in their bones.

	As the road led into the woods, they heard a huge boom behind
them.  "Maybe we should go back and check," Kurz said.

	"He'll catch up or else the watch will find him and take care of
him if he's alive," Nanami said.  "We have to keep running, like he said.

	Ranma-chan kept running and prayed that Basara would be okay.

*******

	The Deus Ex Machina cast off from Whitebridge for points south the
next morning.  "Captain, we have a problem," Yamamoto said to Tylor.

	"What's the problem?"

	"Some of our underwear is missing."

	"How strange," Tylor said.  "Perhaps that was the explosion from
last night."

	"..."

	"Or perhaps not," Tylor said.  "Well, we can buy more down the
road.  At least what we have left is clean.  All's well that ends well."

	Or something, Yamamoto thought.

End Part Four





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