And now this. It's overlong and at best questionably interesting, so
read at your own risk.
Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.geocities.com/anowack/
Shades of Gray
A Sailor Moon Fanfic
By: Aaron Nowack
Author's Notes and Annotations
"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate."
- Isaac Asimov
***********************************************************************
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is owned by Naoko Takeuchi, whose creative
talents far exceed my most humble own. Distribution and other rights to
Sailor Moon belong to lots of different companies that I do not own. I
make or imply no claim to ownership of Sailor Moon or its characters.
However, the text of this fanfic and all original characters presented
within are mine, and should not be used without permission. Thank you.
***********************************************************************
Well, it's done.
As I write this, Shades of Gray weighs in at roughly 142,848
words, or somewhere around 815k. As I write this I am waiting for
prereader response to the epilogue, so those numbers should change
slightly. It is something I am slightly amazed that I completed, and it
is by far the longest work of any sort I have ever written, by an order
of magnitude even perhaps.
To answer the question that no doubt is weighing on the mind(s)
my loyal reader(s), yes, there will be a sequel that will resolve the
(numerous) hanging plot threads and take the story up to the beginning
of the Great Ice. The working, and most likely final, title is Shades
of Darkness. I wouldn't look for it anytime soon though, as I am more
than a little burnt out on Sailor Moon at the moment, and have a number
of other fic ideas that I would like to take a crack at before returning
to this particular story.
It's hard to imagine a time when I wasn't writing this fic. I
started in the mid-summer of 2000, and the prologue was released to the
FFML on August 20 of that year. This means, obviously, that I've been
working on Shades of Gray for a bit under three years. When I started
it, I had only one other fanfic under my belt, the Ranma short "The Lion
of the Tiger?".
This fic would never have come about if not for my effort to
tape the (new to the US) third season of Sailor Moon off of Cartoon
Network for my little sister while she was at summer camp. So for that
reason, I would like to take this opportunity to dedicate this story to
my favorite (and only) sibling, Rebecca Nowack.
I must also thank Angus MacSpon for lending his time and energy
to preread this story from Chapter 5 on. Without his efforts, this fic
would be both shorter and far poorer. I shudder to think of what the
final product would have been without his excellent work.
I would also like to thank everybody who ever commented on or
reviewed this story. I would love to provide a comprehensive list of
these people, but multiple hard drive crashes and lost inboxes
regrettably make that impossible. I will, however, single out Brian
Randall and thank him for his particularly useful and encouraging
comments.
The story for Shades of Gray went through numerous major
revisions over the course of the writing. Out of egotism and the vague
possibility that someone might be interested, I will include the
earliest extant chapter outline, dating from shortly after Chapter 2's
draft was finished:
***********************************************************************
Prologue: One More Day
"It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
And I feel fine..."
- 'End of the World', REM
Chapter 1: Shadows of the Past
"It is well that war is so terrible, or we should get too fond
of it."
-Robert E. Lee
Chapter 2: To Fight Fire With Fire
"May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't."
-General George S. Patton Jr.
Chapter 3: Inferno of Battle
"Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war!"
-Antony, 'The Tragedy of Julius Ceaser'
Chapter 4: The Search Begins
"Every journey begins with a single step."
-saying
Chapter 5: Coming of Age
"In short, the habits we form from childhood make no small
difference, but rather they make all the difference."
-Aristotle
Chapter 6: King of the Gods
"...He has loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible, swift
sword..."
-"For I Have Seen the Glory"
Chapter 7: General's Vengeance
"Evil feeds upon itself, but good redeems its own."
-Dragonlance Chronicles, Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
Chapter 8: Dark Secrets
"With great power comes great responsibility."
-almost any issue of Spiderman
"Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
-saying
Chapter 9: Vision of Tomorrow
"Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory
however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there
is no survival."
-Winston Churchill
Chapter 10: Legacy
"There is no knowledge that is not power."
- seen on the _Mortal Kombat 3_ video game
Interlude: Beresheit (In the Beginning)
"Beresheit bara elohim et ha'shamayim v'et ha'aretz."
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."
-Genesis 1:1
Chapter 11: The Siren's Call
"The sea has an enormous thirst and an insatiable appetite."
-French proverb
Chapter 12: The Search Ends
"This is not the end. This is not the beginning of the end, but
it is the end of the beginning."
-Winston Churchill
Chapter 13: Lord of the Dead
"You do not host this banquet. Death hosts this banquet."
-Greenthorne the Elf, 'DragonStrike'
Chapter 14: No Turning Back
"The only thing as terrible as a battle lost is a battle won."
-saying
Chapter 15: Betrayal of Trust
"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself
does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss,
the abyss also gazes into you."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Chapter 16: All Things Revealed
"Before I horribly dismember you and your friends, protocol
requires me to explain the entire plot to you."
-Lord Saffron, Ranma 1/2
Chapter 17: The Seal
"We must hang together, gentlemen...else, we shall most
assuredly hang separately."
-Benjamin Franklin
Chapter 18: Shiva
"United we stand, divided we fall."
-saying
Epilogue: 'Till All Are One
"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate."
- Isaac Asimov, from _Fantastic Voyage_
***********************************************************************
There, wasn't that fascinating?
Now, on to the annotations (of sorts)!
Prologue: One More Day
"It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
And I feel fine..."
- 'End of the World', REM
Well, this is the first section of the story. There really is
not all that much to say about it, save that I wince now at some of the
writing. Also, if you want a clue into how much the story changed
during the course of the writing, reread the prologue and then jump
straight to Chapter 10, and see how badly the two versions of what
happened during the Silver Millenium match up.
As I recall, the prologue was originally going to consist of
just the first scene. The other two were added because I felt it would
be too short otherwise.
The title obviously refers to the fact that the prologue takes
place one day before the fall of the Silver Millenium, though if I were
rewriting it now I would change the title to "The Day Before".
The reason for the quote should also be obvious.
Chapter 1: Shadows of the Past
"It is well that war is so terrible, or we should get too fond
of it."
-Robert E. Lee
And here we go with the first chapter!
Looking back, my writing style is fairly different and the tone
is certainly much less dark than later portions of Shades of Gray. The
decision to include Jadeite and the Dark Kingdom as villains was a last
minute one, mainly inspired by Sailor Moon Z. I sketched up a brief
plot involving Jadeite and the Five Diamonds, but didn't expect it to
matter very much.
My muse would soon prove me wrong.
The title is, of course, a reference to the return of the
Champions. The quote doesn't really have much relevance to the story,
but it sure sounds cool, doesn't it? (And, incidentally, it was
misattributed to Grant in the first draft.)
This was the only chapter prior to Chapter 7 to be outlined
ahead of time, though the outline was not actually consulted while
writing the chapter for some reason that escapes me now. Since it is
the oldest surviving piece of information relating to Shades of Gray
outside of my own mind, it is reproduced here for your edutainment:
***********************************************************************
Scene 1: Usagi gets out of detention for being late and goes window
shopping. Along the way she runs into (literally) Ikawa. As she
shops,she thinks about how she managed to convince the Outersto show up
for today's Senshi meeting... and realizes that she's late
Scene 2: At the shrine, everyone is waiting for Usagi. They talk about
Hotaru. When Usagiarives, Haruka complains about her being late.
However, the incipient fight breaks up when Pluto arrives, warning of
danger to come. She lets slip that she dosen't know what it is. The
Outers then leave.
Scene 3: Jadeite awakensand takes control of the Dark Kingdom. After
disposing of a challenger, he sends a snake youma to investigate events
since Beryl's defeat. The youma arrives and begins to drain energy,
from people at the shopping center where Ikawa is.
Scene 4: At the Senshi meeting, Ami detects the youma. After a brief
discussion, they head off to stop it, forgetting to contact the Outers.
Scene 5: The Senshi arrive at the shopping center. The youma uses
venom to distract them,while Mercury uses the Bubble Spray to buy them
timeAfter some attacks, Mars uses the Fire Soul against it, discovering
that theyouma is vulnerable to fire.
Scene 6: Above, from Ikawa's viewpoint. He transformes into Ares after
seeing the fire soul. After killing the monster, there is a brief
confrontation with the Senshi.
Scene 7: At lunch, Ikawa discusses the monster attack with his
classmate Mamoro. Mamoro reccomends Rei's shrine asa place to get
monster wards.
Scene 8: The Senshi discuss Ares. Is he a friend or enemy? Usagi
beleives he is a friend, but Rei thinks he's an enemy.
***********************************************************************
Chapter 2: To Fight Fire With Fire
"May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't."
-General George S. Patton Jr.
Not much of interest to say about this chapter.
However, two youma Overlords, still nameless at this point,
begin a plot to resurrect Metallia in this chapter, much to my surprise
and consternation. I noted in the author's notes that the Dark Kingdom
was getting more story time than I anticipated. This would prove to be
quite the understatement.
The title and quote refer to the battle between Ares and Sailor
Mars during the chapter.
Chapter 3: Inferno of Battle
"Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war!"
-Anthony, 'The Tragedy of Julius Ceaser'
Continuing on the fire and war theme, the title and quote once
again refer to Ares's one-man war.
The Mountains of Desolation are referenced for the first time,
though I would have no idea how important they would later be, and the
characters of Nyxan and Ishamanar (called Ishmanar at the moment)
continue to take shape.
Another fairly unexceptional chapter, though I do abandon the
usage of "<>" to represent thought or telepathic speech at this point.
The whole sequence of the awakening of Aphrodite was one of the first
scenes I envisioned when originally plotting the whole story.
Chapter 4: The Search Begins
"Every journey begins with a single step."
-saying
Both title and quote refer to the beginning of the active search
for the remaining Champions (wow, what a surprise). This chapter also
features a cheap reference to the Warhammer/Warhammer 40k universe in
it.
And that's really all I have to say about that.
Chapter 5: Coming of Age
"In short, the habits we form from childhood make no small
difference, but rather they make all the difference."
-Aristotle
This was the first chapter Angus MacSpon preread. Any sudden
jump in quality is purely based on this fact and is most definitely not
your imagination.
Also, in this chapter I start to write in the darker tone that
would last for the remainder of the story. We also see the beginning of
the real Dark Kingdom plot, which quite literally came out of nowhere:
the phrase "Mordrangar, Dragon of the North" popped into my head while
writing the chapter, and everything else came from that.
The title/quote, of course, refer to the return of Hotaru to her
full age. I was rather proud of her refusal to return to being Sailor
Saturn, as it wasn't something I had seen in any of the fanfics I had
read before.
The Ayakashi Sisters from Sailor Moon R make a brief cameo
appearance.
Chapter 6: Soul of Thunder
"...He has loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible, swift
sword..."
-"Battle Hymn of the Republic"
If you can't guess what the title/quote refer to, I pity you.
The phrase "Soul of Thunder" comes from the Legend of the Five Rings
CCG, where it refers to the Seven Thunders, a group of warriors destined
to fight the dark god Fu Leng. (Incidentally, a good number of names
used in this fic are taken from characters from this game.)
This chapter features the first Silver Millenium flashback, and
with it the "That was then... and this is now." transition. By this
point also the Dark Kingdom plot has finally become somewhat fixed, and
will have only minor revisions from this point on.
At this stage, however, the greater plot for the whole story
underwent a major rewrite, and the thought of doing a sequel or sequels
first occurred to me.
Chapter 7: Convergence
"With great power comes great responsibility."
-almost any issue of Spiderman
In this chapter, I discover the wonders of outlining chapters
and actually using the outline when writing the story. Not
coincidentally, the size of chapters balloons upward from this point on.
This chapter was the first and only chapter to undergo a major
rewrite between the initial drafts and the released versions. The
original version featured the beginnings of a (thankfully dropped)
subplot involving an ancient feud between Zeus and Endymion, as well as
a poorly written and anti-climatic battle against Jadeite. At some
point I may post the original draft somewhere for comparison.
Speaking of which, this is notable in that it is the only time
in the entire fanfic that Jadeite actually appears to the
Senshi/Champions, unless I have forgotten something.
This is probably the point at which I start to not wince when
reading the chapters now, as I really start to get a handle on the
darker, more serious tone.
Chapter 8: Aftermath
"I have not yet begun to fight!"
"Well, hurry up then, we're losing!"
-variously attributed
And then there was writer's block, and the story languished for
half a year at least.
When I was finally done with this chapter, it was what would
become the second longest in the entire story, and one I remain
moderately satisfied with.
It also features, so far as I am aware, the only appearance in
Sailor Moon fanfiction of an _im_pure heart crystal.
At this point I start to consider trimming the then 20-chapter
outline into the 15-chapter one that would be the final version.
Chapter 9: Closing the Circle
"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end.
But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
-Winston Churchill
Much to my relief, this chapter takes a far shorter amount of
time to write than the last. The decision to shorten the story is made,
and I smush together the Awakenings of the last two Champions into one
chapter to get them out of the way.
At one point I intended to have Poseidon spend at least some
time with his powers but without his memories of the Silver Millenium,
but this was cut.
Not really that much to say here.
Chapter 10: Beresheit- In the Beginning
"Beresheit bara elohim et ha'shamayim v'et ha'aretz."
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."
-Genesis 1:1
The longest chapter in the whole story, this is also the one I'm
most proud of. Contrary to my fears, I managed to get it out in about
three months, rather than half a year. I knew this would be one of the
most critical chapters of the story, and I'm glad I pulled it off as
well as I did.
This chapter was inspired by a similar flashback chapter in
Angus MacSpon's Sailor Moon 4200. Originally it was to take place
entirely in the Silver Millenium (hence its status as an interlude in
the original outline for Shades of Gray). However, this quickly proved
unwieldy and unwritable, so I switched it over to its current format of
cutting between present and past and replaced a good number of the less
important Silver Millenium scenes with Hermes's dialogue with Mercury.
Missing from the plans for this chapter is a Queen Serenity POV
of the last moments of the Silver Millenium and her final confrontation
with the Champions, which was dropped as I simply proved unable to write
it in a satisfactory fashion.
Chapter 11: Collision Course
"What is the Way of the Warrior?"
"The Way of the Warrior is Death."
- seventeenth-century Japanese proverb
And now all of a sudden we move into the final plot arc.
The battle at the end of the chapter, including the deaths, was
one of the three scenes I envisioned when originally planning this fic
(the other two being Aphrodite's Awakening and Rei and Ikawa's
conversation in the epilogue).
Another critical chapter, and one I was very nervous about.
Perhaps because of this I sat on a complete draft of this for several
months before releasing it, due to my deep dissatisfaction with several
parts. One added scene (the confrontation between Pluto and Tamori) and
a few minor changes made the chapter much better in my opinion, and it
received a positive reaction from the few people who responded to it
when it was finally released.
Chapter 12: Betrayal of Trust
"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself
does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the
abyss, the abyss also gazes into you."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
A chapter I don't have anything to say about, really. I'm
rather fond of the Ares/Uranus interaction in this one.
This chapter puts the story firmly into the endgame.
Chapter 13: No Remorse
"We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang
separately."
-Benjamin Franklin
The battle in this chapter was a poor attempt to shine a little
light on some under-utilized characters, particularly Sailors Jupiter
and Venus, who do hardly anything in the entire fic. This whole
chapter is pretty much the calm before the storm, plotwise.
I refuse to confirm or deny reports of a Ranma 1/2 cameo in this
chapter.
Chapter 14: All Things Revealed
"Before I horribly dismember you and your friends, protocol
requires me to explain the entire plot to you."
-Lord Saffron, Ranma 1/2
Chapter 15: Shiva
"United we stand, divided we fall."
-saying
Epilogue: 'Till All Are One
"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's
right."
- Isaac Asimov
These three parts of the story are fairly straightforward, and
were written too recently for me to have any reflections on them yet.
I might come back in a few months and add some comments, though.
For most of the writing of this story, I have been continually
fiddling with a soundtrack for the story. This soundtrack even changed
during the writing of the final chapter, and may change again in the
future. That said, I now present to you the current version:
Sailor Moon - Moonlight Densetsu (LIPS) [Opening Theme]
This one was a fairly obvious choice.
Sailor Moon Another Story - Soldier Opocito [Champion Transformation
Music]
Sailor Moon Another Story - Battle [Champion Attack Music]
These two pieces from the Sailor Moon SNES RPG seemed to fit
nicely in these roles.
Galbatron - Toccata et Fuga in D Minor [Dark Kingdom Theme]
I'm not sure where I came across this, and its not by anyone
I've heard of, but its a kind of techno-ish remix of the famous piece.
This would play in the background during most of the early Dark Kingdom
scenes.
Sailor Moon Another Story - Four Heartful Kings [Flashback Theme]
Another piece from the RPG, this would be used during most of
the Silver Millenium flashbacks, obviously.
Ayashi no Ceres - Apocalyptic Strings [Metallia's Theme]
All the scenes with Nyxan and Ishamanar in the sanctum would
have this in the background.
Revolutionary Girl Utena - Absolute Destiny Apocalypse [Sailor Saturn's
Theme]
This is the most recent addition to the soundtrack. I imagine
little bits and pieces being played during most of the darker Saturn
scenes throughout the fic, and a good bit during the destruction of
Juno. The song would be played in its entirety for the first time when
Saturn attacks during the final chapter.
Final Fantasy X - Otherworld [Battle With Metallia]
This song seemed to fit the tone of the final battle of the
story rather nicely, and the lyrics aren't too out of place. The
previous holder of this position was Moon Revenge.
Wild Arms 2nd Ignition - Resistance Line (Extended Version) [Ending
Theme]
I discovered this through its use in one chapter of Brian
Randall's Process of Elimination, and decided it fit perfectly as the
Ending Theme for Shades of Gray.
And that's a wrap. I apologize for the egotistical and stream-
of-consciousness nature of this exercise, but I wanted to get my
thoughts down on (virtual) paper so I would have something to look back
at in a few years, and there is always the possibility that someone out
there would enjoy this random excursion into the recesses of my mind.
What to expect next from me?
First I plan to finish off the last part of my Suikoden fanfic
Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn. Then I'll most likely get to work on a
multi-part Eva continuation fic, tentatively titled (and this is sure to
change) Second Iteration, though it has no relation to the previously
released and abandoned fic of mine by the same name.
I'd also like to rewrite and continue my Ranma/Eva crossover
Lonely Hearts, though this is lower priority and may not happen. The
Ranma/SM story Heart of Fire, Heart of Darkness is almost certainly dead
at this point.
I have a number of other fic ideas running through my head,
among them (listed in a rough order of likeliness of them getting
written, and all titles are tentative):
1) "New Century Magical Girl Evangelion" - As the title implies, a
retelling of Evangelion as a magical girl story. Despite the inane
silliness of the idea, this would be a serious fic. This one is high on
the list to write as I've already wasted countless hours fiddling with
some graphics for it.
2) "Cybermoon 2020: Good Titles Want To Be Free" - Similarly, a
retelling of Sailor Moon as a (kind of) cyberpunk story. There will no
doubt be influences from Tad William's Otherland and the .hack games and
anime, but it won't be a fusion with either of those sources.
3) "World in Flames" And/Or "Ashes of Victory" - Another Eva fic. This
one I'm rather excited about, as its not something I've seen done
before. Before there was a Nerv, or even a Gehirin or a Seele, the
seeds of the story we all know were being laid. "World in Flames" would
take place at the height of World War II, while "Ashes of Victory" would
be set at the dawn of the Cold War.
4) An untitled Eva fic that would be a retelling of Eva as a fantasy
story. Though I have read Alain Gravel's "Chosen", the plans I have for
this story are significantly different, and I came up with the idea
independently.
5) "The Less Things Change" - A Ranma 1/2 story. What if it hadn't been
raining when Genma and Ranma showed up at the Tendos? This one is
fairly unlikely to be written, as we don't really need _another_ Ranma
1/2 story that starts over from Day 1.
And that's about all the more likely ones at the moment. If one of them
greatly intrigued you, feel free to drop me an e-mail begging me to
raise its priority or tell you more.
And now I really am done.
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