Yusuke Urameshi was a simple man... with simple joys and simple 
dreams. Some said... if it was in a polite manner... that he was 
abrasive and somewhat emotional... too emotional, even. Others said that
he was straight to the point, always getting into the heart of the 
matter. There are even others who say that he was a dumb-ass 
motherfucker... usually very discreetly, in low tones and never in his
presence. 

     <I couldn't protect her.... with all my supposed strength and 
power, I couldn't protect her....>

     But critics and admirers alike could never imagine him as he was 
now... far from the oversimplified brute or perhaps the no-nonsense 
bad-ass that he thought he was.

     It was so because right now, Yusuke Urameshi was crying.

     After all, simple dreams were far more fragile than any ambiguous
fantasy... they were much easier to grasp and realize... much easier to
take for granted... so much easier to shatter.

     <Why couldn't I protect her?! What use is all this great power if 
I couldn't even save her? DAMMIT, WHY? WHY!?>

     Yusuke was, to put things bluntly, a broken man. He sat there in 
corner... just as his mother had during his own 'funeral'... trembling
in quiet rage, wearing a black leather jacket in typical Urameshi 
fashion... the most people would expect of him to wear in a formal 
occasion. He sat there, never moving, never allowing himself to gaze 
into his left... to where the truth stabbed deeper than lies ever 
could.

     Yusuke was a young man who hated doing things haphazardly... he 
hated hypocrites who were only half-way honest through half-gleeful,
half-annoyed sarcasm. When one had an endeavor to accomplish, he must
put all his heart into it, with no hesitation whatsoever. That was one
of the most basic Urameshi principles.

     Yusuke hated himself all the more by violating these very 
principles right now... shaking in quiet rage when all he really wanted
to break down and cry... taking up a tough exterior, dressed up in a 
archetypal leather jacket and wearing an equally artificial mask of 
deceptive Urameshi assuredness.

     It was if he wasn't lost right now sinking in a quicksand of lies,
purposelessness and denial. Even his thoughts had become 
uncharacteristically proverbial... as if it could cover up the 
irrefutable facts before him.

     Fuck it.
   
     Urameshi bullshit aside, here was the reality of the situation.

     Keiko was dead and all was hell for Yusuke Urameshi. 

     He wanted to trash around and give in to his despair and 
frustration that was driving him to near lunacy. He wanted to smash 
that smiling picture of Keiko Yukimura on the incense-adorned altar... 
but he would be bullshitting himself once again. 

     He wanted to... but he couldn't.

     In his half-state of inner turmoil and confusion, he was 
paralyzed... so, in quintessence, it was just as well. It was still
the Urameshi way... all or nothing.

     Then so be it... nothing then.

     He was just tired... too tired to be anything more than depressed.

     Enough was enough. 




***



     In the warm fire of the setting sun, she stood there... beautiful 
as ever. The warm orange glow of the sun resting comfortably on her
smooth, creamy skin, complementing the passionate colors. 

     She stood there adorned only with a garland of tulips covering her 
mostly-exposed bare chest and a small sarong concealing the remainder of 
her modesty. She was glad for the mid-afternoon atmosphere, as the bright
orange colors of the surrounding areas did well to hide her own heated
blush.

     Keiko Yukimura shifted her foot in embarrassment as her 
unacknowledged significant other looked at her intently with an ardent 
gaze that could bore holes upon her person until all that was left was 
her shivering, naked soul. It was the unflinching, demanding, and 
compelling stare of Yusuke Urameshi.

     Keiko's eyes began to travel toward Yusuke's gaze, looking timidly
as his similarly sparse wardrobe. Her eyes alighted upon the young, 
lean yet firm muscles of his body... his biceps... his broad chest...
even the slight scars that decorated his torso suddenly became appealing
to her as they made him look more rugged instead of unkempt and torn.
She blushed slightly as her eyes traveled further down Yusuke's abdomen.

     She was in a weird mood... but this was a weird setting altogether,
so she gave it no mind. She sighed breathlessly as Yusuke began to 
advance... manly, determined Yusuke... her Yusuke. So strong... so 
masculine... so irresistible.

     Wordlessly, he grabbed her by her waist, gently caressing the small 
of her back as they kissed....

     Smooth lips met with her soft ones as Keiko gently puckered 
her lips almost playfully, teasingly. Soon, the kiss deepened... so deep
that it was as if they were suffocating and the only way for them to  
breath again was through each other's mouths. Soon the rest of the 
world melted into inconsequence.

     <Strange,> Keiko thought, bemused. <Even though this kiss was
exactly what I imagined and more, there's something off... something...
different.> She idly wondered things which the voice in her head 
couldn't even begin to describe... subtle differences that nagged at
her subconscious to no end.

     The smoothness of the kiss, though passionate in every respect,
wasn't at all that Keiko expected it to be... not that she was 
disappointed or anything, but there was this slight nagging delineation
that she couldn't quite put her finger on... she contemplated silently
to herself as she gently slid her hands over Yusuke's smooth back.

     <Wait... Yusuke's _smooth_ back?> She checked as she stroked his
broad shoulders... sure enough, there wasn't a trace of any nicked or
scarred skin on his back. She felt his muscles... they had become
smoother, almost marble-like... if marble felt this warm and soft.
Almost imperceptibly, Yusuke's build had become more slender, more 
smooth and curvaceous.  It was as if.... 

     Keiko opened her eyes... soft, red bangs greeting her. She grabbed
his hair... sure enough, it was longish and almost furry-soft, like 
that of a... a fox.

     <Kurama-san?> Keiko exclaimed in her thoughts, her eyes wide in 
shock as the youko dipped her in a warm embrace, his lips never leaving
hers.


     
_________________________________________________


	
Shonen
A Yuyu Hakusho fic
By Chester Casta�eda
gab_ab@edsamail.com.ph
http://www.geocities.com/gabriel_abdiel/fanfiction.htm

Chapter 6... ah, yes... the four seasons arc.

A few more notes before proceeding:

< > indicates character thoughts
" " indicates character speech


_________________________________________________

Chapter 6: Springtime
_________________________________________________




     Kurama's eyes widened in fright, alarm and a whole other menagerie 
of feelings and emotions engulfing him as he woke up from his weird...
for lack of a better, descriptive term... nightmare. 

     Kurama stood up from his seat, hands on his desk. He, to put it
frankly, was startled beyond mere agitation. His face was as white as 
a ghost as he tried to catch up with his breath. <What was that all
about?>

     Various murmurs suddenly surrounded the youko incased in a human
shell as he regained his bearings. <It couldn't be possible that 
I...?>

     "Well now... it seems our absentee superstar is in the limelight
once again," one very annoyed teacher sarcastically said. 

     Kurama rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. <Oh no... I 
was finally able to carry out a long-time Meiou High School tradition... 
sleep in Isako-sensei's History class.> He threw in a token nervous
smile... which did make a few girls sigh dreamily, but it did not even
faze the irritated History teacher.

     The buzz around the classroom suddenly grew as Mr. Isako began to 
harangue Kurama, who for now was known by the infamous name of Shuichi
Minamino. 
 
     "So how does it feel like to _again_ be at the center of attention,
Minamino-kun?" Mr. Isako snidely remarked as looked up on the tall 
'teenager'. Frowning, he added, "Sit down, Minamino-kun." After all, one
could not intimidate a person that was a foot taller than himself.

     Kurama did not take note of the obviously derisive 'kun' honorific
and Mr. Isako's unnecessary harshness as he sat down, but his gaggle 
of admirers... namely, all the females in the class... did. Thusly, they
collectively directed a hateful glare at the bug-eyed teacher. The 
strict disciplinarian flinched a bit, despite of himself. 

     Mr. Isako coughed once before continuing. "I don't particularly 
care for the administration's biased treatment of you and your case. I 
don't give a damn if you have the I.Q. of Hawkins or Einstein... in my 
class, there are no celebrities! It's either you shape up or ship out!"

     The glares soon turned to back-talk, as the entirety of the class's 
female population began committing concealed slander and fantasizing 
homicide on the detestable professor.

     "Another mistake like this and I'll send you outside to hold buckets
of water! Do I make myself clear, Minamino-kun?"

     Kurama bowed his head courteously. "It won't happen again, 
Isako-sensei." A collective sigh of female disheartenment was heard from 
the classroom as Mr. Isako admonished them to settle down.

     The half-youko furrowed his eyebrows in concern. <That strange 
dream... where did that come from? What did it mean? Is it a symbolic
dream or...> his thoughts trailed off as he willed himself not to fall
deep into his deliberations again. 

     <No, that's silly. It's just a juvenile dream with no conscious 
meaning nor significant implications. Just some silly thoughts of an
idle mind, that's all,> Kurama rationalized as he tried to focus on the
situation at hand... lessons in Japanese History and the study of the 
Bakumatsu no Douran. Certainly bloody and violent human history 
concerning ideals, warfare and fleeting mortality would appeal more to 
his feral youko self than an asinine flights of fancy.




***




     "I wonder what was that all about?" a female classmate of Shuichi 
whispered to her nearest seatmate as she casually tossed with long, 
straight auburn hair. Her large, dangling round earrings shook as she
inched her desk nearer to her friend. "Bug-eyed Isako's temper tantrums 
are acting up, as usual... but what's with Minamino-sama? It's not like
him to sleep in the middle of class, no matter how boring the teacher."
She rolled her eyes to illustrate her point.

     The other girl... a mousy, timid girl with spectacles as wide as
her eyes they could be mistaken as goggles... shyly replied, "I'm worried 
about Minamino-san, Chiho-san. He's not acting like himself. Ever since 
he took that month-long leave of absence... I hope it's nothing serious." 

     "You're the worry-wart as usual, Midori-chan," the girl identified
as Chiho lightly scoffed, a perennially impish smile plastered on her 
face. She then gestured with her pointer finger aiming upwards... a
habitual act on her part. "I'm sure that Minamino-sama has his reasons
for acting the way he does right now. Really now... he's just too 
perfect to make any mistakes!"

     "Sasae-kun... Ohya-kun..." Mr. Isako called-out at the two 
whispering girls, Chiho and Midori, respectively. "Unless you want to 
receive bucket duty today, I strongly suggest that you take this little
discussion of yours outside, _after_ my class is over," he chastised, 
scowling.

     As soon as the teacher's back was turned, Chiho made a face, 
sticking out her tongue. "What a hair-splitting stickler. No wonder he
doesn't have a life," she heckled, not noticing Midori's silent 
statement of "That's a bit too mean, Chiho-san." 

     "Well, what do you think, Ayame?" Chiho said conversationally as
she addressed the girl in front of her, taking full advantage of the 
teacher's brief distraction of writing some more boring notes on the 
black board. "Do you think Minamino-sama's thinking of an old 
girlfriend or something?"

     The girl Ayame shook her head, the slight bangs on the side of her
ears swinging slightly like swaying bamboo leaves in a windy day. "I
think Shu-chan and I are finally connecting... as I slept, so did he.
We were sharing the same mind during that fleeting moment of 
unconsciousness." She sighed dreamily.

     "Oi, get your head out of the clouds, dreamer," Chiho deadpanned, 
her eyes half-lidded in skepticism. "For one thing, stop calling 
Minamino-sama 'Shu-chan'... you're not that close. For another... 
there's no way Minamino-sama could be sharing the same thoughts as 
you do... their only filled with stupid scenes from Shojo manga."

     "They are not stupid! The best Shojo manga stories gives a 
sensitive and perceptive look toward love and romance. Besides, I'm
a girl, so it's only natural for me to read girl comics."

     Chiho smirked as she prodded on the topic. "So it's natural for
Minamino-sama to read girl comics too, just so he could be of 'one
mind' with you?"

     "Umm... Chiho-san? Ayame-san?" Midori timidly said, wary of the
situation. 

     Ayame's voice raised an ante. "Yeah? Well it's much better than
the homosexuality shtick you're into now! Honestly! You getting into 
yaoi! It has become... no, it's beyond an obsession for you!" 

     "That's it! No more Mr. Nice Guy! Sasae-kun and friend! Get out
of the room now and find those buckets now! Since you're quite familiar 
with the process, Sasae-kun, you should go teach your friend the 
entire procedure!"

     There were two collective groans as one Midori Ohya sighed. "They
should have been a lot more quieter," she said softly, sighing again.




***




     So Keiko suddenly woke up... she patted herself in panic, expecting
to feel soft flower petals and even softer skin of her half-undressed 
state. Instead, the synthetic feel of a life jacket greeted her 
wrinkled, prune-like hands. <Hold on... life jacket? Wrinkled hands? What
the hell is going on here?>

     She turned her head slowly... a grainy texture was supporting her
whole body. <My hands... they're a bit moist. Could it be...?> As she
finally made a sidelong glance, her eyes widened in shock. 

     The pounding waves of the sea coincided with her heart's own
quickened pounding... it was an endless field of blue. It was 
awe-inspiring... astounding... frightening.

     She quickly got up on her feet, turning around from the strangely
horrifying yet beautiful sight. What greeted her as she turned was
apparently far worse.

     Torn-up, twisted metal protruding from uprooted and broken palm 
trees... shattered glass dangerously littered the nearby mounds of sand. 
It was the remains of a helicopter. <What the hell just happened here?!>

     A stray memory suddenly hit her full force as this went into 
perspective for the young girl. <Oh, that's right... our helicopter fell
during the storm. I was so scared... but Kurama-san helped me through.>
Her heart skipped a few beats as a distressing revelation suddenly 
dawned at her.

     <Omigodomigodomigod I hope he's safe!> Keiko thought, panicked.

     "Oi... Keiko. Over here."

     Keiko looked up reflexively toward the effeminate voice... sure
enough, there he was hanging nonchalantly over one of the few coconut 
trees, calmly holding a coconut in his free hand. His red hair was a
bit frayed by the storm, but this time it was neatly tied up instead
of being messily let loose. He wore sunglasses and a tight muscle 
shirt bearing a western-written phrase 'The Nonsense Cat.'

     "I thought you'd never wake up. Guess were stuck here in this 
deserted island for a while... ne, Keiko-chan?




***




     <It's that weird dream again,> Kurama thought as he shook his head
out of his unwanted reverie. <I don't understand why I should be 
dreaming of such things. Should I even be dreaming of it?>

     He furrowed his brows as his eyes turned into slits of cunning
and intelligence. <Does Chuuku have anything to do with this? Now that
he has firmly established the fact that I cannot be attacked directly...
physically... is he now resorting to psychological warfare?> 

     But he scoffed at the idea just as soon as it appeared. <This is 
far too... trivial to be construed as an attack. No... it's just a
silly dream which I'm reading way too much into.>

     He silently ate alone in the cafeteria, unable to savor the taste
of his food as it left a anesthetic blandness in his mouth. He 
mechanically acknowledged each passerby that greeted him, his phony 
cheerfulness concealing his distracted state. 

     <But if the dream was so silly, why do I have to repeat the fact
to myself at least a dozen times? Why do I feel so defensive?> Kurama
deliberated to himself... over and over, which was ironic, considering
the nature of the statement.

     Nothing could penetrate the otherworldly place Kurama's mind 
currently occupied... in the similar way no one could ever enter a 
blushing girl's dream world as she escapes the harsh realities of
the world, surrendering entirely into her fantasy.




***




     "OH NO!!! Don't tell me that we're stuck in this island!?!" Keiko
hopelessly exclaimed. "How did we get stuck here, Kurama-san? How? 
How? What will happen to us now? I wonder how Yusuke is doing... I JUST
CAN'T TAKE IT!!!"

     <Keiko's... not quite acting like herself,> Kurama thought to
himself in his chagrin. He then felt a frown form on his face. <What's
with this contemptible sneer? I am also acting strange in this dream.> 
To Keiko, he said, "Panicking won't get us out of this predicament. We 
have to be calm and collected in order to rationally think of a way to 
solve the problem at hand."

     Kurama regarded his words carefully. <Well, that sounded a lot
like me... only what's with my seemingly rude attitude? This isn't the
way to speak to Keiko-san!>

     Keiko looked at Kurama with shimmering yet angry eyes. "You 
insensitive jerk! There are times when you're even worse than 
Yusuke!" She then looked contemplative as she muttered, "But those
times are rare." 

     Kurama rubbed his head in irritation. <But I don't feel at all
irritated or annoyed.> Feh. Just shut up. I hate it when you act like
some sort of spoiled brat."

     Keiko fought back her tears as she addressed Kurama in a more 
polite, collected manner. "If you'd help, maybe we could rummage through
the wreck to find some things we could actually use."  

     Kurama cut the coconut he was holding in half with a machete he was
holding and began drinking its milk. <I can't believe I'm actually 
ignoring Keiko-san's request... it's as if my body was possessed like 
Kuwabara-kun's was in our last encounter with Chuuku!>

     Keiko just continued with her prying on the mostly unresponsive
Kurama. "Don't we have any supplies of some sort or something? 
Anything?" She put her hands on her hips. "Don't just stand there, 
Kurama-san! I need help! Don't we have a radio, or even a...."

     Kurama looked up as Keiko suddenly brightened. "A cellphone! I
remember having a cellphone in my bag! If it somehow survived the 
crash, then there's an off-chance that...!" Trailing-off her excited 
prattle, she began running toward the wreckage. 

     Kurama just sweatdropped as Keiko suddenly began dancing for
joy. "I found it! I found it! I found the cellphone!" she said,
laughing gleefully. "Kurama-san! Look, look! I'm not the spoiled
brat you think I am! And it even has three bars left in its battery!
We're saved! We're saved!

     Before Kurama could respond in kind, Keiko was already propped
on a nearby rock. "All I need to do is find a signal, and then call
the local authorities or Yusuke or whoever we have to call and then
everything will be fine!" She excitedly dialed a number, not minding
the growing sound of rushing waters just behind her. Kurama was just
too dumbstruck to say anything as a big tidal wave approached the
hapless duo.

     A resounding splash was heard. They sputtered amidst the vast 
amount of salt water crashing over them.

     When it was over, a scream was heard then ceaseless bawling 
followed. Whimpers of "Why? Why? Why was there a stupid tidal 
wave behind my back? Why did God allow me to lose the cellphone I was 
holding... our only ticket home? Why does God hate me so much?! We'll 
never get out of here now!" filled the entire length of the beach 
which they were occupying. 

     Before Kurama could catch himself, weird and cruel thoughts had 
already begun to enter his mind. <Now I have to be aloof and totally 
uncaring since I don't like emotional women. I should say something
cool... preferably something derogatory to distance myself from her
emotional outburst.>

     That was before Kurama had a full glimpse of Keiko's pathetic
state... reddened eyes, ceaseless sobs, a humiliated expression on her
face. <The poor thing. Why did I think such cruel things? First, I say 
things I don't really mean, and now I think things I don't really 
believe. What a strange dream I'm having.> Kurama shook his head, 
smiling.

     He put a consoling hand on Keiko's shoulder, looking straight at 
the shorter girl's eyes. <Now, what I'm really going to do is calm
her down and tell her in sincerely that it wasn't really her fault.>
He nodded to himself in self-approval of his proposal.
  
     "It's all your fault," he simply said, earning him a bristling
glare from Keiko.

     <Ack! No good! What made me say such things! Oh no... I didn't
really mean it, Keiko-san!> Kurama thought frantically while still
maintaining a callous and indifferent visage.

     <I have to correct this! I know! I'll say, 'It was lucky of you
to find the cellphone in that wreckage in the first place!'> he thought,
which somehow came out as, "It was lucky of you to find the cellphone, 
knowing your limited intellect. And so the thought and speech pattern 
was finally established.

     <Ah... that didn't come out right. Hm... I'll comment on her
insightfulness.>

     "You did have the insightfulness of a sugar-high nine-year old 
as you pranced around with the cellphone after you found it. Too bad
it's gone now."

     <I'm not doing well with this. Definitely not a very nice thing
to say... even though it was partially true, and my grammar wasn't so
atrocious. But I'm getting ahead of myself... ah! I'll make a 'Let us 
look at the bright side' comment instead!' That'll work.>

     "It's ok that you lost the cellphone... I mean, c'mon! Did you
really think that calling them from here would save us? I mean, we
barely have any idea where we are! It'd be stupid to think that that 
useless gesture would amount to anything, but nice try."

     Kurama didn't even feel the slap.

     "You jerk," Keiko said, brimming with barely-contained resentment.
"You selfish, arrogant, insensitive jerk."

     Kurama hated himself then and there as he heard her last words
before running away deep in the twisted, dark depths of the jungle.

     "I HATE YOU!"

    


***
     



     Kurama checked his cheek if there was still the hot, stinging 
sensation... there was none. He looked around the hallway... sure enough,
a reddish-brown atmosphere had taken over the lobby. <It's already way
past dismissal, in the afternoon... I must have been daydreaming. I must
have been sleepwalking, only awake... how long was I out of it?>

     He leaned against a nearby wall, sighing. He repeated his mantra
from earlier on in Mr. Isako's class... as if its repetition would 
somehow ensure its effectivity. <It was just another dream. Just another
meaningless dream... right?>

     A visage of Keiko crying replayed itself in Kurama's mind. <Right?>

     Kurama silently made his way to the station, another stray memory
entering his mind... that of an old adolescent female friend walking
side-by-side with him, her hand grasping his.  




***




     Kurama listlessly inserted his ticket into the slot as he went 
in the train station. He had a lot in mind... things that he was 
unwilling to acknowledge, but was still in his psyche nonetheless. He 
berated himself endlessly...  from when he left the school onward, he
ceaselessly chided his reaction over the subject, falling into a deadly
deprecatory trap of his own making.

     <I have far more important things to take off... far more important
things to worry about... than that. All of this worrying is... extremely
unnecessary. The case with Chuuku... the safety of 'kaasan and my 
friends... those are the things which I should be thinking about... not
some ambiguous fantasy about Keiko-san. I mean, it's not only that I've
barely held a conversation of her outside of 'Hi-hello,' but....> His
thoughts trailed off as the railway transit's automatic doors opened.

     "Kurama-san?" Keiko said, mildly surprised. She then neatly folded 
the women's magazine she was reading and put it in her handbag. 

     Kurama's heart was suddenly caught in his throat as he resisted 
the urge to backpedal... it wasn't like him to do, after all. He just
replied in kind with his own, "Keiko-san?"

     "...." the two mutually riposted.
 
     Keiko was the first one to speak. "What a nice coincidence! I 
didn't know you rode on this train! I usually don't see you in this 
station," Keiko conversationally started, openly smiling.

     Kurama rubbed the back of his head, consigning himself to his 
'boy-next-door' act. "Oh, I don't usually go home this late and all...
I was also surprised. You were the last person I expected to see here!
You see, my mind wandered a bit and before I knew it, it was already 
past dismissal time in the afternoon!"
      
     <What an odd coincidence... as if the fates are mocking me,>
Kurama belatedly thought as he sighed as his luck.

     "Kurama-san always has so many things to think about... such is
the life of a genius, ne?" Keiko cheered.

     "You exaggerate," Kurama said with a half-smile. <Well, at least
she's not angry with me like in the dream. That counts for something,
I think.> He breathed a deep breath. <I better calm down.>

     "Humble as always," Keiko appraised yet again, making Kurama 
lightly smile in embarrassment. The youko in a human avatar made a 
once-over at the jovial Keiko. <It's not in good form for me to get all
flustered and some such... a dream is a dream... reality is what's
before me now.>
 
     "So modest... not at all like that idiot Yusuke," Keiko said, 
suddenly fuming. Kurama sweatdropped, reflexively attempting to inch 
away from the irate girl. As they were stuck in a moving vehicle, he 
instead attempted to change the subject.

     "What about you? I didn't expect junior high students would have
a later dismissal than their seniors," Kurama wondered out loud.

     Keiko looked flustered all of a sudden. "Oh. Well, we have a major
test coming up, so it was planned that we stay at a friend's house 
tonight to study... but dad only allowed me to stay there up until the 
afternoon, so..." she trailed off, looking uncomfortably at the floor.

     "I see," Kurama smilingly said. To himself, he thought, <From her
change in demeanor, I could see that she's hiding something. She's not
carrying a bag for her study materials, and aside from her sweater,
she's in complete uniform.> He shook his head solemnly. <Oh well... I
best not delve into such things. It's none of my business.>

     Unfortunately, from there on, all conversation died between him and 
Keiko. <Ah... there's an awkward silence between us. It's just as well... 
do nothing, risk nothing.>

     But as Kurama resolve himself to that deliberation, his thoughts 
typically and abruptly shifted. <This atmosphere... it's almost the
same as the atmosphere I felt in the dream. I know it's silly of me,
but it feels like I betrayed her yet again. Betrayed her... in the 
dream and in reality....>

     "Kurama-san?" Keiko inquired gently, piercing through the haze
in Kurama's mind. 

     "Yes?" Kurama acknowledged, welcoming the refreshing break from his
never-ending daze. 

     "I was wondering... where do you get off?" Keiko shyly said. 
   
     "Uh... my stop is in Shimizu. Yours?"

     "I-in Isesaki," Keiko said, apparently and visibly deflated.

     <Oh... that's right. Isesaki is two stops away from Shimizu,> 
Kurama belatedly thought. <Too far... it'll probably take me double the
normal time if I travel back and forth from the two districts. And 
there's this damnable silence again....>

     Kurama looked at Keiko, her features unreadable. <Ah... but what am
I thinking? Our conversation halting right now has nothing to do with
my inability to accompany her back to her house. It's the simple fact of
us having nothing in common that has put this barrier of silence.>

     His mind fell into his earlier mental trap once again. <The dream
has nothing to do with anything... this conversation has nothing to do
with anything,> he resolutely thought.  

     Kurama ate his words as the earlier visage of Keiko appeared again
in his mind's eye... crying... mouthing the words which shook him into
a grim realization.

     "I hate you," the phantasm said, echoing in his mind over and over
again, mocking his resolve.

     "The next station is Shimizu... Shimizu..." the PA system blared
loud, startled the deeply contemplating Kurama.

     "Kurama-san... that's your stop," Keiko said as she gently nudged
the half-dreaming youko. She waved good-bye cheerfully. "See you again
soon!"

     Kurama's resolved crumbled like a sand castle beneath a tidal 
wave. "Keiko-san?"

     "Yes? What is it?"

     Kurama drew an audible breath. "If you would allow... can I 
accompany you to your house?"




***




     So there they were... Kurama and Keiko... walking side-by-side 
the quiet suburban streets filled with the occasional food shop
and flea market as the sun set tranquilly, letting in the approaching
twilight. 

     <What am I doing? Is this really alright?> Kurama asked himself, 
sighing. He couldn't count anymore how many times had he asked himself 
those questions... but he didn't particularly care. He knew he was just
rationalizing his own inexplicable actions, but he just couldn't help 
himself. This was his way of handling such incomprehensible 
situations... at least, incomprehensible to himself.

     <I'm really going out of my way for Keiko,> Kurama furthered his
contemplations, glancing from time to time at Keiko's back as they
walked silently toward her residence. Even with the thick sweater, her 
slight, slim figure was still apparent. He shook his head off of his 
unsaid thoughts as he returned to his mentally voiced-out 
deliberations.

     <Was it a because of the silly dream? No... I should get a hold
of myself. This is a favor between friends. There is no hidden agenda.
I should know better than to second guess myself.>

     Kurama let his mind wander again... but this time it wasn't filled
with peculiar daydreams nor an internal monologue... this time it 
contained memories of the immediate past.




***




     "B-but Kurama-san! Shimizu is far from Isesaki! It's almost
two districts away! I couldn't possibly..." Keiko had sputtered during
Kurama's unexpected request at the Shimizu train station.

     To which Kurama replied, "It's alright. I can handle myself. Don't
worry." He shrugged helplessly. "Besides, Yusuke would never forgive me
if he ever learns that I allowed Keiko-san to go home by herself at
night."

     Keiko absently winced upon hearing Yusuke's name. She then 
exclaimed, "Ah! Yes, yes... it's already quarter to six in the evening."
She half-smiled as she gave Kurama a pensive look. "Thank you 
Kurama-san... I really appreciate it."




***




     Kurama exhaled deeply as his thoughts went back to the present.
<No more second-guessing... I'm glad that Keiko-san is now smiling.
It was obvious that she was distraught over something.> 

     Keiko suddenly backed up a bit over his side. Kurama, for his
part, gave the girl a token smile. <Perhaps this is the true meaning
of my dream of Keiko. I'm supposed to respond to her in her time of
need... even if it's just by chaperoning her back to her house.>

     Kurama nodded to himself eagerly, despite of himself. <The puzzle
has been solved. There's nothing more to it than that.>

     "What a wonderful coincidence this is... ne, Kurama-san?" Keiko
said, suddenly in a conversational mood. "Who would have thought that
we'd have a chance like this to talk? I mean, what are the chances?"

     <Chances... for a long time in my life in my life, I only took
on things as they went in my path,> he said to himself. Kurunue's 
death, his expulsion from the Demon World, his reincarnation as a human 
boy... they were all mere circumstances that greeted him, never things
which he actively sought. <Though... I always took a chance... even as I
went with the flow of events. My choices were affected by opportunities 
presented to me.>

     He blinked once as he became conscious of the fact that he hadn't 
answered Keiko's question. Realizing his unintended rudeness, he 
responded, "I don't believe in coincidence... it's either fate or 
destiny which governs our path."

     "Ooooh... that sounded profound, Kurama-san!" Keiko appreciatively
said.

     Kurama looked sheepish as he said, "Oh! I must have said something
weird again. So sorry!"

     "Nonsense! It's not weird at all! I think you present such a good
argument, Kurama-san," Keiko assured. "Hmm... the genius Kurama-san has 
shared a piece of his age-old wisdom once again... I feel so honored," 
she teased. "Who would have thought... Kurama-san, believing in fate?"

     "But I only believe in fate in a certain degree," Kurama acquiesced
a bit, finally giving in on Keiko's unsaid insistence for a 
conversation. "You see, fate can only take you so far. Circumstances
only provide windows of opportunity... upon getting there, the rest is
up to you."

     Kurama continued for his appreciative, raptly attentive audience. 
"Ultimately, in the end, it's up to you how you're going to respond. I
don't really rely on fate per se... especially on matters concerning
destiny... since it is _my_ destiny that shouldn't be dictated upon by
outside forces... not totally. It all boils down to will in the end."

     Kurama checked out Keiko's reaction. "I'm not boring you... am I, 
Keiko-san?"

     Keiko shook her head. "No... actually, it was a very interesting
treatise," she kidded, imitating Kurama's overzealous use of deep
words. "But for me... I think it's all very romantic."

     Kurama's eyebrows shot up at Keiko's assessment. 
 
     "Whoever you end up with would be really lucky, Kurama-san. 
Hopeless romantics like you are one-of-a-kind," Keiko gleefully 
said, making Kurama feel a bit squeamish.

     "Don't say such things, Keiko-san. It's so embarrassing," Kurama
pleaded to the young girl.

     "Oh don't be so uptight," Keiko said, playfully patting Kurama 
on the back. "How'd a good-looking guy like you end up girlfriendless
anyway? Are you currently seeing anyone? Any crushes?"

     <This conversation... is getting silly,> Kurama thought as he
replied to Keiko, "No, not really."

     Keiko nudged Kurama's ribs. "I bet lots of people want to be your 
girlfriend!"

     Kurama couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that. "'People,' 
Keiko-san?" To that, Keiko giggled unabashedly. 

     "Aw, c'mon! Not even a single one? Don't say that you haven't dated
anyone! Or there wasn't at least one girl which you had a mutual 
understanding with, ne? Heck, was there any female you were close with
other than your mother? There has to be!" Keiko prodded, really getting
into the conversation. 

     "C'mon, WHAT WAS HER NAME?"

     Kurama suddenly stopped walking, taking on a grim demeanor. Keiko,
for her part, changed her manner into an apologetic one as she realized 
that she must have gone too far. "I'm sorry, Kurama-san. Have I said 
something wrong? Are you angry?" 

     "Her name was Maya."

     The statement was said softly that Keiko thought she was just 
hearing things. "What was that again?"

     Kurama gave her a sidelong glance, a half-smile on his face. "I
said her name was Maya. She wasn't really a... girlfriend in the
traditional sense, but she was the girl I was closest to... we used
to walk back home together like this."




***




     Nostalgia began to fill Kurama's contemplative mind as his tone
became as distant as his gaze. "Maya-san was a very well-mannered,
gentle girl... she's also very intelligent, even though her 
accommodating nature makes it seem otherwise. No offense to her,
of course."

     Keiko stifled a giggle the best she could as she daintily covered
her mouth. "Wow. Kurama-san... this girl... sounds so much like you!"
She then stopped giggling, realizing that her little joke didn't sound
very funny after all. "I'm sorry again... please excuse my rudeness."

     Kurama gave Keiko that slowly becoming familiar sidelong glance
again, saying, "Actually, it's Keiko-san and Maya-san that seem kind of 
alike."  He smiled a bit as he looked away. <Ah... the silence between
us have returned. But it's less uncomfortable than before.>

     Kurama furrowed his brows in remembrance. <Actually, it's more like
Maya-san's usual silence around me as I walked her back home... during
that time in junior high....>

     It was in Kurama's psyche again... echoes. Those were echoes of the
past. 
 
     "Kurama-san is always so quiet. But I guess it's just as well... I
barely know anything about you. Still, you can surprise me at times. It
makes me want to know you more."

     Those were echoes of the past that somehow merged with the voices
of the present.

     "Who are you really?" Keiko and Maya seemed to say in unison... in
Kurama's complicated imaginings. <It's funny to note that Maya-san and
Keiko-san would ask the same question in the same half-joking tone of 
voice... the same question which I myself have been trying to answer ever 
since my arrival here in the Human World.>




***




     <But what am I thinking... comparing Maya to Keiko,> Kurama 
digressed. <And this conversation... isn't this getting out of hand?>

     <Nonsense... Keiko-san has gone through a rough day... if it takes
sharing each other's love life to cheer her up, then so be it. I 
shouldn't let the silliness of innuendo get the better of my 
reasoning... such a trivial presumption shouldn't be given a second
thought.> 

     "I'm sorry that I've prodded you too much about your love life.
I should have minded my own business," Keiko regretfully said, though
her tone wasn't as regretful as she wanted it to sound.

     "No, I don't mind." Kurama suddenly went into a mischievous mood.
"But fair's fair... now it's _your_ turrn to share."

     Keiko blushed deeply, the pensive look Kurama saw on her face
earlier returning. "Eh? Is that so?" She laughed stiltedly as she
avoided Kurama's direct gaze.

     <A forced laugh?> Kurama almost automatically analyzed. <I don't 
suppose that Yusuke could have...? But it's not my place to pry.> To
Keiko, he said, "Just kidding, Keiko-san. Just kidding."

     Keiko breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing that. Then she made
a face, sticking her tongue out at Kurama. "I thought you were nicer
than that, you big meanie!" 

     Kurama then saw Keiko suddenly sit down on a bench on a nearby 
park. "What is it, Keiko-san? Are you tired?"

     "Uh... yes... why don't we sit down for a while?" Keiko offered, a
welcoming smile on her face.

     "It's kind of getting dark, Keiko-san," Kurama said, worried. He 
did have school tomorrow, he rationalized to himself as he quelled the
rising dread in himself.

     "It will only take a minute." Her smile and her demeanor might not
make it apparent, but the undertones of her voice had an insistence in 
it that compelled Kurama to take her up on her offer.  

     She suddenly took a deep interest in her shoelaces as she gazed 
intensely into them. "Kurama-san... I'm kind of glad that we've 
somehow... opened up to each other... we never got to talk like this."  
 
     "Well, I guess circumstances and certain events have made it near
implausible until now. It couldn't be helped."

     "I mean... Yusuke and I could never talk like this. We never had
a conversation like this... never ever." Keiko continued, her eyes
shimmering.

     <Ah... so it was about Yusuke! That's the reason why Keiko-san 
was so depressed and downtrodden when we met at the train station.>
Kurama then began a train of thought that could only be described as 
atypical of him.

     <Is the dream I had slowly turning to reality?> Kurama quietly
deliberated in his head. <The deserted island meaning isolation?
Keiko's fake death meaning change? Keiko's dream... the dream within
my dream... the dream where we shared a... no. Enough. That's enough.>

     For the umpteenth time, Kurama berated himself. <I should get a 
hold of myself. This is serious... Keiko-san is going through a crisis. 
This isn't the time to entertain silly notions.> He winced at his own
redundancy.

     "Kurama-san?" 

     Kurama turned quickly over Keiko's direction. "Yes?"

     Keiko took a deep breath, as she seemed to brace herself for 
something. "What I said about staying over a friend's house for a 
bit... it isn't exactly true." Keiko's darted back and forth, away
from Kurama's gaze. Kurama was all ears as he nodded for Keiko to 
continue.

     "Actually I was talking to our school principal. I knew it was 
foolish of me, but..." she tried to smile, but the tears slowly 
collected in her eyes, breaking her mask of cheerfulness. "But I spoke 
to Takenaka-san about Yusuke's grades. After much pleading, he was 
willing to work things out."

     Keiko bit her lip as she sniffled a bit. "But Yusuke wouldn't even
hear of it."    

     Kurama nodded consolingly, not knowing what else he should do in
the situation. 

     "He insisted that he didn't really need it... that I was becoming
too controlling, too suffocating f-for him..." Keiko stammered. "S-so
I told him... I told him... to drop dead."

     She let go then and there as she bawled her heart out, burying her
face in her hands in complete humiliation and mortification.

     Kurama, for good or for ill, couldn't take it anymore.




*** 




     I didn't know what I was thinking at the time... perhaps it was the
simple fact that I wasn't thinking that prodded me to act the way I did.

     Hm... me, not thinking... it was an altogether alien concept in
and of itself. To delve deeper into the juvenile concept, I couldn't 
even begin to grasp it.

     Juvenile... it wasn't even really poetic. The whole situation was 
more akin to a silly pun, really. 

     I couldn't grasp the situation, so I grasped the girl. I held her 
in a tight embrace, abandoning all hesitation... all uncertainty... all
reason and logic. 

     My heart is beating so fast... and it seems that my breath is 
trying to catch up with it.

     I kept asking myself... would I get rejected? Would my actions get 
misconstrued? On the other hand, how can she misconstrue an act which I 
myself have no idea how to 'construe' in the first place?

     I don't know what I'm doing and why I'm doing this.

     Do I really want to know? Do I really want to find out?
     
     This moment of peace after such a long time of... emptiness. It
was refreshing... welcoming. Let me remain like this for now. Does hell
await me? Does heaven await me? The next second should let me know...
but I don't want that second to pass. Not now... not ever.

     Please let these last few seconds freeze in time forever. Please
don't let another second pass. 

     Please don't let this world continue. Let it be just as it is right
now... just as it is. 




***




To be Continued...


Next:  Shuichi's honesty, Kurama's earnestness.

Note that I put in the title _Shonen_ not  _Shonen-Ai_. Shonen-Ai 
(male-male relationship) and yaoi are just not my cup of tea. This 
is dedicated to Chimamire Kitsune for giving me the inspiration to 
write this fic...wherever you are, this is for you.

Disclaimer: All characters used in this fanfic (save some others) 
are the rightful property of Yoshishiro Togashi, Shueisha, Fuji TV 
and St. Pierrot. Don't sue me please, I'm very poor.

Ja ne!
C. Casta�eda





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