AS wrote:

Applying for the Angelic Layer card was chancy
business, especially since he didn't want his brother
to know that he was getting into the competitive
aspect of the Layer. So he simply did what his brother
would have in his place: he threatened Ogata.

Yes, that does work, doesn't it?

Oujirou laughed so hard from that note that he had
tears in his eyes. He stored it in his desk drawer,
deciding the note was precious in its own right.  He
had six weeks until the Kobe tournament, and he used
it to practice with Wizard, perfecting the basic Layer
moves and working on designing some moves that Shuuko
wouldn't know. He and Shuuko had played together for
so long that their styles had meshed, and it was time
to start finding his own. His first match against
Tigra had been lucky, since he really hadn't had to
use any of his own attacks aside from the Trance
Breaker, but if he tried to use more, people would
inevitably compare him and Wizard to Shuu and Athena.

True

He didn't want that. He wanted to surpass her.

Ah, the Akari from BA OVA attitude in the end. That's the way to go about
it.

The next time he went to Tokyo, he was in a thoughtful
mood.  He watched Shuuko practice with Athena, amazed,
as always, by the connection between woman and angel.
He wanted to have that with Wizard. He wanted Wizard
to be his other self.

other, smaller self, of course.

He blinked a bit.  "Not that I know of.  I've just
been really busy at school." A partial truth. He
wanted to keep his coming entrance into the
competitive Layer a secret, at least for a while. The
expression on his brother's face would be worth it,

but CLAMP tend to be not very expressive artists, so it might not be all
that expressive. :)

and he couldn't bring himself to tell Shuuko, in case
his idea failed.

extra line break here.

Oujirou laughed a bit as he saw her hesitance.  He
knew that she enjoyed his company, for she saw few
people. Offering to let him go was a great sacrifice,
and he appreciated her concern for him.
"Shuuko-san... I love coming here. I really wish I
lived closer, though, because the commute is tiring
but I wouldn't stop coming if my life depended on
it.."

Mihara: Good, then I won't need to have you liquidated after all.

eyes.

Shuuko patted his arm.  "Have the girls finally
noticed you, Ou-chan?"

Shuuko: Have you told them you're gay?

Ouijirou: No! I am not gay. Just bishonen.

Secretly, he was also annoyed. Oujirou hadn't changed
a thing about himself; he had merely made the mistake
of getting on stage. He wished for the previous
relatively anonymity he used to enjoy, but he found
that like Pandora's Box, once you opened the lid,
there was no way of getting everything back inside.

Unless you're really quick and can stuff all the sins back in.

The stress level in the waiting room was almost
tangible.  He could feel the players' tension levels,
and he saw the entrant's

entrants'

Himeya's eyes flashed. "A rookie, Saitou Maiya. I have
no clue about her."

extra break here too

He typed in the name.  "She's a heavy weight.

heavyweight

"Why not? I wouldn't mind another match, see if you've
learned anything now that you're going to take me
seriously." He sighed. "I have the feeling that it'll
take me two or three matches to be taken seriously."

That will be a good thing.

"Wouldn't want to."  The two girls gather

gathered

"Good attitude.  Now get going!" the man ordered,
pushing Oujirou a bit.

Oujirou walked through the arena, hearing the hushed
murmurs of the audience.  Stormrider's Deus

Argh! Just has a sudden vision of Hand Maid May entering the layer.

As the noise from the crowd rose, he assumed his
opponent had arrived.  He looked over at the other
chair, and noticed a pretty girl wearing red.  Her
hair was fiercely curly, and she was too thin.  He
nodded to her, and she blinked at him in surprised as
their seats rose.  "You're really handsome!" she said
in shock.

extra line

He felt a fierce blush creep up his cheeks.  "Thank
you," he said softly.  "You have lovely hair." Be
suave, be suave...

She grinned at him.  "How about I take you out to
dinner after I beat you?" she offered.

"Um, I don't intend on losing," he said,

Girl: Then you'll buy me dinner.

Oujirou: I'm not going to win this fight, am I?

Girl: No. You'll go out with me no matter what.

 >

The girl's eyes fell away from his face, and he
suddenly knew she had become serious. "Stormrider,
bring lightning and fury!" she called, and tossed her
angel. "Angel, fall in!" Her angel flew, and when it
enter,

entered

"Sorry," Riira called. "You're just too fast.  It's
best if I deal with speed types quickly," she told
him.

She had brains, he gave her credit, but he

she

Wizard anticipated it, using his powerful legs to jump
straight up, one that took him to near the top of the
Layer; a pure speed type wouldn't have been able to
manage the jump, but Wizard could.  Oujirou smiled as
the untamed blast reflected back at Stormrider.  The
reflection wasn't as powerful as the original attack,
but it still took over half of her hit points.

ouch

Wizard took the moment, and a strong kick to the jaw,
one of the spots where an angel was most vulnerable,
sent Stormrider tumbling back. She hadn't raised any
kind of defense, and to spectators, it would seem as
though he had simply appeared in front of her.  Even
the cameras would have a hard time catching it,
Oujirou thought in satisfaction.

The announcer stared in surprise for a moment as
Stormrider's points went below zero before turning to
Oujirou, who merely smiled. "Wizard wins!"

Heh. Nice

Ginga Kaoru and Angel Yumemi, the Matriarch of Angelic
Layer.  Kaoru was seventy if she was a day,

Heh. An oldie but goodie. :)

It was only through sheer force of will that he kept
from blushing himself at her words. "I've barely done
anything yet," he returned. "I'm merely a Deus, like
you."

extra line

He sat in the chair, feeling it rise to face his
opponent, Ginga Kaoru. He looked across at her,
smiling as she stared back it him with cool eyes that
gave away nothing of what she thought. He respected
that; she would be hard to anticipate because of that.
With her, it would be about her angel and skills, not
about   psyching

extra space

speed, agility and strength. She wore a traditional
kimono complete with obi, and Oujirou knew that Kaoru
habitually changed Yumemi's clothing. Her strength was
from Kaoru's expert control, creativity and ability to
undermine whatever the other Deus threw at her. She
was adaptable; this would be a battle of the Deuses,
which one was able to think the further step ahead.

another space. Best to double check them

Yumemi, though, calmly accepted the first blow...
which left Wizard open as he raised his leg higher to
land the second.

Heh. Oops.

"You have," Kaoru said. "Time to wake up!"

I think he will now.

"You're not fighting me or my angel. You're fighting
something else, some cosmic battle. Still, there's
stories about people like you, Oujirou-kun. Some
people walk with their eyes so focused on the heavens
that they don't see the earth around them." Her hand
gripped him tightly. "And those people always stumble,
because they never see the roadblocks right before
them."

Heh. Perhaps.

*

The last three matches were easy. No one else came
even close to challenging him or Wizard, and Oujirou
knew that what Kaoru had warned him of was true. He
wasn't playing the other players; he was playing for
Shuuko. Would he encounter someone who would challenge
him? Would it be Kaoru, in her wisdom, who would
challenge him at Kansai? Or would someone else rise
up?

I'd say... someone else. :)

Ichirou's face was uncharacteristically blank, the way
it was when he was either going to be serious or was
truly angry. Oujirou still hadn't learned to read his
brother's moods well enough to tell which would be
forthcoming.

extra again.

"By the time those are done, I will be the best known
player on the Layer, aside from Shuu," Oujirou vowed.

"Egotistical, aren't you? Don't you know that they say
'pride comes before the fall?'" his brother murmured,
stepping back into the shadow.

Pride is what enables you to rise, and if one does not rise above the earth,
they are denied the privilage of falling. So pride is a necessity. ^_^

Nice work. Got a lot done with the tournament and advanced Oujirou's reasons
and character. Very nice work in 42k.

DB Sommer



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