Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Fri, 18 Apr 2003 08:19:38 -0700 "Steve T."
<mixednutspress@earthlink.net> wrote:
I think this is the second draft, its been so long since I worked on
this. Author's note at end.
I don't recall seeing the first draft of this chapter.
She handed Ami the paper. "Page seven, under the editorials." Ami took
the paper and opened it to the {appropiate : appropriate} page.
I'll tell you why. Because they are no better then the scum they purport
to be fighting. Anyone who takes the law into their own hands is a
menace as great, if not greater {then then : than}, for example, a Tsunami, or
some other disaster.
"{Aint : Ain't} it though?" Usagi asked and set the paper aside. "You doing
anything Saturday night? That's the night the amusement park is open
twenty-four hours so Naru and I are gonna go and we're not leaving until
we've hit every ride, shop and food stand, or we pass out, or until
they throw us out at sunset Sunday, whichever comes first. It's dutch
treat on the tickets, everyone pays for their own. You in?"
Molly stared in genuine shock. Before her eyes, a crescent moon had
appeared on Luna's forehead and her eyes gained a fierce intelligence.
"What the hell?" She blinked a few times and then looked at her friend.
"Wait. Cute talking animal...please don't tell me you're a magical
girl." Usagi nodded mournfully. "Oh how the mighty have fallen," Naru
said {melodramtically : melodramatically} as she sat backwards on Usagi's desk chair. "So
what's your magical girl name? Wait, lemme guess...um, Sparkling
Generation Magical Girl Pretty Valkeryie Miko?"
"So what else is new?" Molly said, waving a hand {dismissivly : dismissively}. "Tell me
the good stuff. Who's the awesomely bishie hunk that your destined to be
with for the rest of eternity?"
"The ticket is my fee for keeping my mouth shut about your fall from
grace into the castrated hell that is magical girl shojo and Ami's
ticket is your good deed for the {millenium : millennium}."
Usagi's reply was a resounding {rasberry : raspberry}.
Chiba blinked at that, and opened his mouth to respond when his friend
grabbed his arm. "Come on, Mammy. Arguing {aint : ain't} worth it."
As Tsukino and Okasa continued to babble their inanity, Spiderwoman
silently gritted her teeth and forced herself to endure as Ami sipped
her coffee. But when more then a minute had passed and the cousins had
started trading insults while speaking in bad {irish : Irish} accents, Spiderwoman
knew she had to either break up this farce or kill them both.
That would conclude the series more quickly.
"Ah yes, vomit fun for everyone. Forward!" Usagi took a step forward
only to be hurled backwards as the {souvienr : souvenir} stand nearby exploded,
hurling hats and cheap plastic doodads every which way.
"But I can-" Naru started to say when Usagi {inturuppted : interrupted} her.
"Moon Power Make-Up."
Isn't that "Moon Prism Power, Make Up"?
The light washed over her and then passed. Sailor Moon stood up and
studied herself in the remains of the glass. She was dressed entirely in
black. Black turtlenecked tunic, black pants, black gloves, heavy boots
and a black leather trench. A gold tiara {encirled : encircled} her forehead and her
odangos bore red jewels. It looked good on her and {damnit : dammit}, she looked
good in it.
Not your grandmother's Sailor Moon.
"And just who are you, Sunshine?" Sailor Moon demanded, crossing her
arms. The effect was slightly ludicrous, but like she was going to flail
her arms and legs looking for a {nonexistant : nonexistent} something to stand on? No
way, {buster : Buster}.
"You know, that's a very nasty habit you have." Sailor Moon pointed out.
"You got a pen and paper? My friend has this aunt who teaches {ettiqute : etiquette},
wonderful lady. You go see her, she'll help you break your habit of
{inturrupting : interrupting}, and-" a scream {inturrupted : interrupted} her and they turned to see a
gang of young men tearing at the clothes of a schoolgirl and her friend.
Spiderwoman let go and leapt towards the rape in progress even as Sailor
Moon fell to the ground some twenty feet below and {immeditly : immediately} sprang back
into the air towards the youma, delivering a flying kick that knocked it
over. As it struggled to its feet, Sailor Moon glanced over to where the
girls had been attacked. Spiderwoman was leaping around, several of the
young men were on the ground...and there was way too much red stuff on
the pavement and walls to be spilled paint or someone's spilled soda.
"Shhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" Sailor Moon cried as she flew across the
footpath to total the fruit stand. Wiping custard off her face she
glared at the youma. "This is expensive leather!" she yelled, "watch
it!" She did not, however, get to her feet. As Sailor Moon, she was
{consideribly : considerably} tougher and stronger, but there were limits and it was all
she could do to sit up. Her ribs were probably broken and she wouldn't
be surprised if she was bleeding internally.
"A hand up?" Sailor Moon asked acidly, holding out her hand. Spiderwoman
grabbed her wrist and yanked her to her feet. "It only attacks what's
attacking it," she continued, somehow manging to keep the revulsion out
of her voice as she glanced at the blood stains and bits of brains and
hair on her sleeve where Spiderwoman had grabbed her. "If we don't
attack, it ignores us and just destroys stuff." She spat out a lump of
{colagulated : coagulated} blood, wincing as she felt her ribs finish knitting
themselves back together.
With an roar, the youma {disentigrated : disintegrated} and the tiara rematerialized on
Sailor Moon's forehead. The evil was defeated, but at (in Sailor Moon's
opinion) a far too great a cost.
For the rest of Sunday, she lay on her bed, staring at nothing. {Vaugely : Vaguely},
she was aware of Luna trying to talk to her, and of her phone going off
repeatedly, but she ignored them both. Like a vision, she kept seeing
Ami's face dancing before her eyes as her memory replayed the events of
the past few months, suddenly putting what had been formerly unrelated
facts together with what she knew about Ami. What emerged was what was
probably Carl Jung's wet dream.
As the sun set, Usagi got up and walked to her computer and fired up the
high speed {acess : access}. Ignoring the ten or so e-mails in her inbox, most of
them from Naru, she began studying everything the net could teach her
about psychology.
****
"Let me see if I get you here," Naru said as the cousins neared the
Academy's front gates. It had taken most of the walk for Usagi to
explain her theory. "You think that doodad Ami was holding when Flash
shoved her gave her spider powers, which was why she has anime babe
curves, and she blames herself for Shinny's death, so she went stone
cold killer and only pretends to be Ami because its {convientent : convenient} for some
reason."
"The other would shoot herself in the foot," Naru finished. "All right,
all right. So let's say you're right and Ami's using the Misato
Katsuragi method to clean up Tokyo. What do we do? Ask her to stop?"
Spiderwoman does seem rather out of control. Which makes Jameson's
crusade make some sense.
Naru stared as Ami's face seemed to suddenly change. It was like Usagi
had described it. As though something was wearing their friend's face
like some kind of mask because what was behind it was to unthinkable to
gaze upon. It wasn't even really a mask, it was like Ami had suddenly
been replaced by something that looked like Ami, sounded like Ami, but
was {completly : completely} alien.
"The {revalation : revelation} of my {identidy : identity} is an empty threat. Ami Mizuno died in
the park two weeks ago. I use her {identidy : identity} because it is convenient.
You're wasting my time."
The two stared at each other for several minutes. "If it will prevent
further conversations like this, then I accept your proposal,"
Spiderwoman said.
Which proposal? Stopping killing or letting her secret identity be
revealed? If the latter, killing Usagi and Naru might appear simpler.
Author's note:
It was either another chapter of ASW or write "Ryouga Hibiki vs The Care
Bears".
You have chosen... wisely.