Let's combine these, shall we?

Day 2


As much as it pained her to admit it, Yomi had to agree on one thing:
Tomo's explosive cheer could be amazingly persuasive.

True. One of the reasons to keep her around. The other is she makes things
interesting (though not always in a good way)

Despite all video rooms in campus being reserved for weeks in advance,
somehow she had managed to grab one right when they needed it the
most. Even better was the fact that Tomo had already picked up on many

think you can drop the 'on'

of the skills needed for this sort of work, an unsettling thought in

itself.

Yomi had initially despaired at the idea of Tomo taking the same
Journalism classes as her, but now it seemed like the luckiest coincidence
in her life.

"So this is the console, you

console. You

 >

"Uwaaah!" Tomo stood up, "Chiyo-chan's gonna watch it! And I'm going
to miss it!" She started to race out of the room, but Yomi caught her by
the arm. "Kagura's right outside with Chiyo, dummy. And I hid the tape
so she wouldn't find it."

Right, like that's going to keep it from being found if it wants to.

"There, freeze!" said Yomi. "Where did that come from?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" Tomo asked. The image on screen was that
of the white, fluffy cat suit she had worn herself during the Culture
Festival, but it looked as if it were being worn by someone much, much
smaller. The effect was creepy rather than cute.

extra line break here

Nice way to change things.

Tomo and Yomi looked at each other, eyes wide. "Yuh-yeah," Tomo
managed to say. "We... we're just watching the news, right?"

"Right!" Yomi nodded forcefully. "Just the news!"

"Ah, OK,"

i recommend spelling it out 'okay' as it flows better while one reads.

"It's hard to explain, but I think the videotape is related to her... to

us

in
some way. Just... watch for anything unusual."

"Dammit," Kagura swore. "All right, I'll do my best." She sighed, "Really
lousy coincidence that we can't find Osaka right now. She'd probably help
you figure this out."

Somehow, Yomi found herself agreeing. "Hmm... I'm sure she would."

I think so too.

"You're cruel," the tanned girl glared at Tomo, who had to hold her belly
as she laughed. "Hey! Yomi! Don't you think you've been waiting
enough?"

"Just one more try," Yomi called back from the phone booth. So far, there
had been no answer from Yukari's home. It could have been any number
of reasons, really --she could be sleeping, she could be hunched over
some video game, she could be drunk, she could be sleeping off the
drunkenness, she could be sleeping off the drunkenness while dreaming
about video games..

agree

.. Yet, after having seen her in the tape, the reasons

going through Yomi's mind were of an entirely different and morbid
nature.

"Dammit,"

Dammit! (needs that exclamation point here)

she cursed, hanging up. She considered calling the school, but

knew better than that. If anyone could know where Yukari was, it had to
be Minamo.

She

Best to identify Yomi here, since there are many women around.

"I don't think so, I... wait, actually, she did mention something. I think
she
said she was visiting some distant relatives in Osaka."

"Hmm. When did she leave?"

"A couple of Weeks

weeks

Yomi glared at her. "What kind of ridiculous idea is that? Passing the
curse to someone else?"

It saves your ass. :)

Tomo deflated, "Yeah, you're right... But maybe the guy that made the
video just wants to be heard, sooo..."

heard, but not really talked about. :)

Yomi winced, then had to back away as a team of nurses came by to carry
Kaorin off on a stretcher. The TV had gone back to normal, as though
nothing had ever happened, yet all patients in the room sported the same
expression of joy on their faces.

"Now we know one thing for certain," said Yomi grimly. "It's not the
terror that kills you."

She looked at Tomo in the eye.

"It's the cuteness."

Yep. Better watch out for it.

on to Day 3

Yomi looked up from her notes, just as a slight breeze ran through the
sidewalk cafe called "Morgan House." Red-leafed

'leaves' perhaps?

"Gak. Eww." Tomo spat out in disgust. To wash away the taste, she
quickly snatched Yomi's melon bread and tea, gulping them down
almost at the same time.

"Hey! That's mine!" Yomi protested.

"Huh?" Tomo stared at the half of the bread that remained. "Oooh,
that's right! This is one of the first images, so it must be for you!" She
stretched her arm back and close to the ground, dangling the bread from
her fingers. "Yooooomiiiii... I waaaant you to eeeeeaaat me..." she said
in a ghostly voice. "Ooonly that will saaaave you from the eeeeevil
taaaaaape..."

Heh

"Little help...?" a faint voice called from the ground. Yomi rolled her
eyes and pulled Tomo out of the spilled garbage, freeing her sleeve
from the pole in the process. "Lousy cat, thinking he can beat me!"

He already did.

Both of them turned slowly to the side. They stared at the long-haired
little girl that was walking by, hiccups shaking her body.

"AAAAAAH!" Tomo pointed and screamed.

Heh. I think this will continue for a while.

and on to day 4

Then, without warning or the slightest fanfare, a round, cat-like being
just popped into existence next to Sakaki. It turned to her, lifted one of
its spindly arms and said, in plain English, "Hello everybody how are
you?"

"Oh, it's daddy!"

Daddy

Chiyo nodded happily and took the... hand of the orange cat. They both
took to the air, one by turning into a shifting rainbow of glowing colors
and the other by flapping her pigtails energetically. "Do you like
tomatoes?" the cat asked, producing said vegetable with its free

appendage.

Heh

At that, Osaka's smiled faltered and she bowed. "Aaa... I'm sorry,
Sakaki-chan, but Sadako-san got to them before me..." She looked
down at a black VHS that had suddenly appeared in her hands. "It
needs a lot more work before it's ready..."

I'll say.

added, "I could almost swear Yukari was with Osaka when the video
was made. And I'm sure that's both of them in that image with the
mirrors." Out loud, she continued, "In any case, we're heading for
Osaka tomorrow by train. I'm sure we'll--"

And her glass of water burst into flame.

Got to hate it when that happens.

Yomi woke up screaming, clutching her chest and panting.

Heh. Should have known it was a dream.

And now to day 5

The clock was quickly winding down now. She had just under three
days to figure out a way to stop this curse, but it wasn't just for

herself

or Tomo anymore. The thought of Chiyo falling under its spell was too
terrible to comprehend. But, at least, the girl genius was not as deeply
affected by the video as she had initially thought --after the initial
reaction of shock, born more out of Yomi's own horror than actual fear,
Chiyo's worry was related more to her friends having seen the tape than
herself.

That and the personification of cute is not affected by it very much

"Ready?" Yomi asked. Chiyo and Kagura nodded, then followed her
out to the entryway. They were halfway to the gate when they heard the
phone ring; "Ah!" Chiyo exclaimed. "I'll get it!"

Yomi and Kagura saw her return to the house before continuing
towards the waiting taxi. Tomo was already sitting by the driver,
himself looking like one of the video's victims Possibly

victims, possibly

Sakaki sat silently on her bed, staring out the window at nothing in
particular. Every once in a while, a cloud shaped like a white cat and
kitten would drift by, eliciting a faint blush and a smile on her face,

but

outside those reactions she remained almost perfectly still.

Heh. Some things will cut through the haze no matter what.

"We were worried about you, Sakaki-san!" Chiyo said, her eyes still
tearing.

I want to know about the fish.

"You okay now, Sakaki?" Kagura asked. "Chiyo-chan said you just got
back to normal?"

"Yes," Sakaki said. "I had... a dream last night."

"Oooh! Funky video-based dreams!" Tomo gasped. "Were you flying
above Tokyo and then there were a hundred chibi-Yomis flying with
you until you got to Tokyo Tower, only it wasn't Tokyo Tower but a
really huge Yomi that was sucking all souls on Earth because of a new
Tang diet and-- *oof*"

Heh

"Yukari-chan?" Tomo asked. "She's in the video too. She's right before
that scene with the playground and all those Mayas on the screen."

Sakaki blinked. "No... There's no playground in the video..." she drifted
off. "Maya is in it?"

Osaka is screwing around with it, but I wonder how.

"Hooo?" Tomo and Yomi turned to each other, recalling their earlier
argument about the cat suit not being in the video.

"But Yukari really IS on the tape, right?" Kagura asked. The three older
viewers nodded.

Yomi frowned, "Sakaki, did Yukari-sensei watch the tape too?"

Sakaki looked at her in the eye. "She gave it to me."

Oops. Heh. This should prove interesting.

"We now know who's been making the video," Yomi said, frowning.
"If Sakaki's right, Osaka has been making newer versions of it
somehow, and distributing them over the country." She grimaced,
noticing Chiyo's pleading look of disbelief. "I can't belive

believe

"Y-yes?" he said. Why, he had never realized that his very own hospital
had such... talented people working there!

Heh

"A! But I'm almost done with everyone!"

"No... Kasuga-san..." Sakaki thought. "We have to stop you."

Well, I don't think it's quite what Sakaki is thinking, but we shall see.

This is moving along very well so far. Glad I get to read it all at once.
Still not completely sure where you're going with it.

And on to Day 6

Quiz time for Ring fans! What's the fastest way to cure yourself of a
disease?

Wish *I* could just project this flu onto a tape... *grumble*

Hopefully you'll be better by now.

She quickly broke free from the group and stood on the curb, pointing
madly at random passerby. "Osaka Prime!" she called a girl with long
brown hair, who took a look at her before running away in terror.
"Osaka Number Two!" Tomo pointed at a little girl right on her face.
"Osaka-X!" it was the turn of an elderly lady who turned to her and
walked away, muttering loud expletives to herself.

Heh. Cute. Tomo is over the top enough to do it, too.

-   O!   -


The taxi dropped them off outside what seemed to be a refined bakery,

'refined bakery'? Not familiar with the term.

"Does that answer your question?" Tomo pointed to the side of the
sign, which had a caricature of Osaka herself welcoming guests and
customers. A speech bubble was painted beside it: "It's bread!"

Hehehehehe. Very nice image

Mrs. Kasuga smiled widely, "A! You're Umu-chan's classmates! I've
heard so much about..." her eyes wandered for a bit, then focused on
the smaller auburn-haired girl that stood nervously behind the one with
glasses. She stared at her as if in shock.

"A-Aaah!" Mrs. Kasuga slipped between Yomi and Kagura and stood
in front of Chiyo, the shocked expression never leaving her face.

line break here

Tomo then put in her part, "We think she's been running around killing
people with a videotape, Granny Osaka!"

Heh. I wonder if Granny will figure things out right away from that

As Yomi and Kagura used strangleholds on their tactless friend, Mrs.
Kasuga said, "Aa, that's not a good career goal. And videotapes must
leave such ugly bruises, too

Hehehe.

But a second glance revealed things that did not go hand-in-hand with
the stereotype. Like the three small TV sets stacked on top of one
another in the far corner; or the bizarre-looking X-ray plates on the
dresser, containing not pictures of bones but rather of stone wells and
horses; the rocking horse itself was incredibly old and worn, and
covered by a fine layer of dust.

Yep, bad signs

"Look, look!" Tomo pointed at one of the more recent entries, "She's
talking about us in that one! She's still using it!"

"'I like Chiyo-chan even if she can't fly yet, but she'll learn soon'?"
Chiyo read aloud, blushing. "Osaka-san..."

Hehe. I can see her saying that, all right.

"OK,"

recommend spelling it out here too.

"Tell me," Osaka's grandmother continued, "Is she still afraid of trees
that burn for no reason and then fall on top of you?"

Heh

"Ah. Anyway, she made a friend during that trip," the woman

continued, "Some other little girl she called S-chan. I think there's a
picture of her here..." she took the picture book in her hands and flipped
forward one or two pages. She then said, "Here," and pointed at a little
girl, looking lonely and miserable inside what looked like the bottom of
a well.

Heh. That is something else

The girls swallowed hard when they recognized the picture of

long hair completely covering all but the left side of her face.

Yomi took the book from the woman's hands, looking over the pictures
in the following page. "'Mommy and Daddy watched S-chan's funny
cartoon too, and they were really scared,'" she read out-loud, "'But I
made friends with S-chan...'" she pointed at a picture that showed both
the long haired girl and Osaka, at the bottom of the well, cheering
happily at each other. "'So Mommy and Daddy were okay. And S-chan
taught me a new trick!'"

Great. Just great.

"We have to find her!" Chiyo cried. "I've read that people who do
nensha all die very young!"

Chiyo: Usually because they keep making video tapes which kill everyone,
which really pisses people off, so they throw them into wells and seal them
up.

"'I looked for S-chan a couple of days after we saw her cartoon. I found
her under the house, she was waiting in a well. She was really angry,
she said she could never sleep, and that her daddy hated her. She said
she made the cartoon because she wanted everybody to feel the same
way.'" Chiyo flipped a page. "'But I made friends with her, and she's
not angry anymore. She says the horses let her sleep now, and she
wanted to see her daddy.'"

So Osaka solved the problem with the original American Version of 'The
Ring'. Cute.

"This must be where S-chan taught Osaka about nensha," Yomi said.

Chiyo nodded, "But the last entry doesn't say anything. It just says that
she was going on vacation with her parents, and it was a surprise."

Probably found the girl from the Japanese version of 'The Ring'.  Darn
psychic girls keep getting locked up in wells and making people die all the
time. :)

"Now that I think about it, he does look a lot like him," Yomi nodded.
"What is he pointing at?"

A girl. That's what he does. :)

"He was... pointing at something *here*..." Yomi said, awestruck. As
one, the trio followed the line of Kimura's finger across the screen,
outside the TV, over the dresser, and finally onto Osaka's picture diary.

Nice touch.

"Uh, hi guys," Kagura rubbed the back of her head. She lifted the
familiar black slab in her hand, and said, "I... I thought I could help

out,

you know..."

Well, we'll see if it helps. :)

*********************

Azuringu Dai-O!

End of Day 6
One day left

Then let's get to it, shall we?

Beside her, Kaorin all but exploded in joy. She had never seen Sakaki
drive before, even though the latter had obtained her license early
enough. And now, although she really was trying her best to find
Yukari among the people on the streets, the rosy hue and flowers on the

edge of her vision wasn't helping matters any.

formatting error seems to have thrown spaces between some of the lines

Sakaki examined the contents of the beer can on the table. "Full," she
said, shaking it slightly, "She has only drunk a bit from it."

Hmm.

Her former teacher also leaned towards her, seriousness and a bright
glint of alcohol in her eyes. "Now, Sakaki, listen to Yukari-sensei.
Don't mess around with that girl, she's nothing but trouble. Leave
everythin' t' Osaka fer now."

Hmm. Wonder if I guessed correctly.

at Kaorin as if she had grown a second head. "Hell no," she said
simply. The two girls looked at each other, relieved to hear the news.
Yukari continued, "She's just running distribution."

Hehehe

They managed to catch up with her outside a small fair, her half-drunk,

half-hung-over form slung carelessly over one of the horses at the
merry-go-round. It was still close to noon, so the fair was mostly
devoid of children, but it didn't stop her breath from permanently
scarring a few vulnerable minds.

Heh. Nice phrasing.

"Un," the taller girl nodded. "We found one at the lodge. We... watched

it a little over a week ago." Kaorin gasped in realization.

this threw me off, thinking it was Kaorin speaking. Might want to seperate,
or save it for after the paragraph.

or sweetness of Osaka herself. The dark-haired figure... belonged more
in the creepy, bizarre video they had found at the Inn rather than the
one given to her by Yukari. Perhaps...

Heh. Nice twist, with Osaka trying to counter the psycho girl.

"L-look!" Tomo pointed at the innkeeper. He was sitting, immobile, at
the counter --with a hideous slack-jawed expression of horror etched on

his face. "He-- He must've watched the tape too! And it killed him!"

Chiyo shrieked, half out of frustration, "That's Kimura-sensei and he
always looks like that!"

Heh.

Casually knocking over the sleeping form of Kimura (who only
blubbered a little and mumbled about rocket-powered high-school
girls) Tomo rummaged through the desk and came up with a set of keys
marked "12." She stared at them for an instant, and the tiniest of grins

began to curl on her lips. Yelping, Chiyo dashed towards her and stole
away the keys, then ran away as fast as her legs could take her, leaving

Tomo to call out, "Come on, I wasn't REALLY going to do it!"

Oh, I wouldn't put it past her.

Yomi patted Chiyo's head comfortingly, "It's okay, Chiyo-chan, we're
inside." With a more serious tone, she continued, "Come on,
everybody. The tape brought us back here for a reason. Now let's hurry
and find out what it is, OK?"

again I'd spell this out.

"That... wasn't there when I saw it..." Kagura gulped. The others
quickly waved at her to stay quiet.

The peaceful image of the blooming tree was then replaced by a shot of
a school's corridor, brightly-lit but

lit, but

 empty of people. Gentle murmurs

filled the air, including distant laughter as well as crying. But as the

pleasant droning rose in volume, the sunlight from the windows also
increased in intensity, steadily becoming blinding and filling the screen

with a golden glow.

Hmm. Osaka might have succeeded in overwriting the tape after all.

everyone's favorite orange cat-like creature appeared, jumping the rope

in time to Tomo's cues of "One, two, three!" But then the cat
disappeared, and the rope was swung by a pair of children while a third

jumped it. They didn't notice it at first, but, if they watched more
closely, the children were younger versions of Tomo, Osaka and Yomi.

Aww. How touching.

There was silence for a moment, but then Tomo broke it with
"Uuooooh! She's not just making the video, she IS the video!"

Oh dear. Here's to hoping she can get out.

"Hehehe..." she grinned maliciously.

Yep, was waiting for it.

"What the hell?" she said, puzzled. She leaned a hand on the well, and
pushed; it gave way easily --and it was made of cardboard.

Oh?

"You HAVE to be kidding," Yomi muttered, then peered inside,
shining a light into the "depths" of the cardboard well. What she found

was a small bag of bread, several bottles of water and cartons of milk,
a
tiny icebox, a portable TV...

...and, curled up on top of a sleeping bag, was the peaceful form of one

Ayumu Kasuga, also known as Osaka, wearing a simple white dress
and sneakers, making soft little noises as she slept. She held a small TV

antenna in her hand, and had a rabbit-ear antenna attached to her head
like a helmet.

WAHAHAHAHA! Just beautiful.

Yomi smiled, "I'm not angry, Chiyo-chan. I'm sure she meant well."
Through the darkness, she looked at the room's TV set. "She just
wanted to be heard, and I didn't know how to listen."

"But now you do," Chiyo smiled.

Very nice. I enjoyed it immensly. Original, and had be guessing until
halfway through the last chapter. Using both movies was a very nice touch,
and letting it have a happy ending was for the best. Leaves me with a good,
Azu-cutish, feeling, though of course the feel was different since this was
an xover with a horror movie. Prose flowed well, very few grammar errors,
and in this case, you didn't over use the prose and slow things down. All in
all, a very excellent piece. Thanks for sharinfg.

DB Sommer





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