Weee! Excel stuff:

Weee! A D.B. reply!

This won't make much sense unless you've seen at least a few

episodes of

Excel Saga, and there are spoilers for a few parts of Excel as well

as

random other series.

I really must get around to getting the last two dvd's of ES. Ah well,

I can

put up with what's there.

Yeah, not much in the way of spoilers, and they could easily be taken as
jokes if you haven't seen those parts. But better safe than spoiled.

Notes about obscure references and other inside/Japanese jokes

follow

the story.

Hmm. just like the ES dvds then.

That's exactly where I got the idea. I should probably get around to
putting in some of the random, pointless notes that exist only to be
funny in the next chapter.

    A tall, lanky man walked down the crowded Tokyo street, singing

to

himself. "Cashing my paycheck, cashing my paycheck.... Manga artists

are

useless pieces of trash, but publishers are willing to pay....
Publishers are suckers and I learned how to draw in grade

school...."

Hmmm.

Drawing mainly from his dialogue in episode 1 for this. I honestly think
he's pretty good, insofar as I'm experiencing his work indirectly.

    Suddenly, a figure dressed in black from head to toe fell from

the

sky and landed in front of him, making an indentation in the ground

and

kicking up a cloud of dust. The man stepped back, coughing, as the

ninja

I'd identify him as a 'ninja' before this point. It seems to come out

of

nowhere here.

He's not really a ninja... I just didn't want to keep referring to "the
man in black" and "the other man". But I'll do something about that.

    "You're the guy I have to ask if I want to use Excel Saga in
fanfiction, right?"
    Rikdo shook his head adamantly. "No way! No more Excel Saga
fanfiction! Not after I gave permission to That Guy...."

I agree. 'That Guy' is a terrible, evil, human being that everyone

should

give money to.

I was half considering actually making you "That Man", but that would've
required asking permission and would probably not have been very funny
anyway. The one mention is enough for those who manage to catch it
through the veil of subtlety.

    Rikdo called back his reply over his shoulder. "I, Koshi Rikdo,
hereby give Nidoking my permission to turn this perversion of Excel

Saga

into a mega-fusion!"

Someone had to do it, yes?

I hope so. The knowledge that I've taken this idea from some other,
possibly more deserving soul makes it all the sweeter.

    "Pikachu..." moaned the creature as its face twisted into

something

almost as horrifying as what it had been before the impact....

And already if begins.

Indeed. I had to do SOMETHING funny before the title.

show up right about now, don't you think?" She suddenly stopped and
collapsed to the floor, sucking in air in huge gulps. "I forgot to
breathe...."

Heh. She does a good Excel impression.

Surprisingly, I didn't have to impose much of Excel's personality on
Mihoshi. She was a natural for the role.

    The blood slowly seeped back into his head as the hole closed.

"You

think?" he asked indignantly.

Yakumo Fuji?

Was the obvious choice, yes.

    "Hail, Clef!" shouted Mihoshi, raising her hand with the fingers
fully extended and her wrist fully bent.

Hmm. Interested in seeing where you take him.

Clef's purpose was mainly to get turned to stone so that he couldn't
disclose the mission for the episode. And he's probably a secret
megalomaniac in MKR anyway. After all, he rather pushed for the idea of
ridding the world of the Pillar, which would leave him in charge of
Cephiro... guess I needed a spoiler warning on this response, eh?

    Mihoshi pressed her index fingers together in embarrassment.

"Um, I

believe they conquered all of Europe, which gave them three extra

armies

per turn, and then, I don't know, maybe they got three cards that
matched, and won a free trip to Jupiter and went to live there?"

Hehehehe. Cute.

And silly me, I forgot to mention Risk in the pop-under notes.

    Mihoshi smiled back timidly. "Um, Yakumo... you're standing

above

the pit."

He'll be falling into it soon enough.

Not until he looks down, of course. McKimson's First Law of Cartoon
Physics.

    "I have no idea," replied Sailor Pluto as she took her usual

perch

beside his throne. "All I know is that it makes far too much work

for

me." She waved her staff, filling the room with a rainbow swirl of
colors.

Heh. For a moment, I thought she was just extra, but if anyone can
impersonate the Will of the Universe...

Another fairly natural choice.

legs at all! But I like this cotton tail... it feels cozy."

She had a bunny tail in some of the OVA, as I recall.

Yep. That's where I got the idea for this costume.

    "True," agreed Bloodberry. "The urge to kill you is

overpowering."

    Taking the hint for once, he turned flirtatiously to the woman

on

his other side. "Say, Rally Vincent, would you mind explaining to

her

why I'm such an incredible hunk who -" He froze as the barrel of a
customized revolver entered his mouth.

Heh. Good choice

Thought so. Probably means I need to watch GSC again, but having seen
the whole series and read most of the manga, and only really needing
Rally to be a somewhat trigger-happy straight character, I think I can
manage to write her adequately.

    "Shut up and keep your hands away from me, Moroboshi,"

Thought so. Ryo Saeba was the other possibility.

Never heard of him.

    "No way!" screamed Moroboshi. "You're just a little girl! What

do

you think I am, some kind of sick pervert?"

Hmm. OVA Nuku wasn't built that way. Has she been downsized like

Robomatsu?

Basically. I forget whether it was high school or junior high that Nuku
Nuku was in, but this version is probably a few apparent years younger
than the one from the anime. Of course, this is until I introduce the
third replacement for Ropponmatsu in the next chapter (who doesn't
actually correspond to an Excel character, but should fit pretty well in
this bunch).

of his tall, crooked staff come to rest on the floor.
    "Hi, chief,"

Chief

Ack. Guess I missed one. Question is, should I similarly capitalize
"hakase" when it's used as a form of address? It's debatable whether
Japanese words should conform to English grammar... but I've ranted
about that enough in the past.

    "Well?" Nuriko finally hazarded. "What is it?"
    The chief raised an index finger slyly. "That..." he said

jovially,

"is a secret!"

No wonder work never gets done around there.

Well, Nuriko was stamping papers, at least.

    Faye produced a gleaming handgun and put a bullet through Nuku
Nuku's head.

Not a very resilient robot.

When she's that easy to repair/replace, does she need to be?

    Rally rubbed her temples to stave off the impending migraine.

She failed. :)

Probably. But I think we all do things like this sometimes.

her eye with the back of her hand and lowered the sword. "YAKUMO

BLOCK!"

she shouted, holding her partner in front of herself to take the

twin

slash right in the chest.

smart

Use what you have at hand.

    "Shinji!" called his supervisor. "What's the holdup?"

Heh. Of course it's the jellyfish who immortalized the 'Mustn't run

away'

line forever in Otaku's minds. :P

Who better to take the place of the man universally dumped on by fate
than the boy who came from the same situation? And the Eva also made a
cool "plot".

The Sailor Scouts are about to face a very different kind of enemy

than

'from' instead of 'than' I think

Either probably works... have to play around with it and see which
sounds better. Probably "from".

    Bloodberry calmly produced a length of rope and hogtied Nuku

Nuku.

"I'll have to do it alone," she said, stuffing a gag in Nuku Nuku's
mouth.

A good idea.

I only wish it worked in real life for annoying people.

    "Be more careful when throwing pianos out the window!" said an
admonishing voice from the window above. "You could have killed
somebody!"
    "It's okay, honey," responded another voice. "It just landed in

the

middle of that spreading pool of blood."

heh

The classic Ranma gag, with a twist I've been waiting years to use.

    Koryu shook his head. "Rane never makes any sense anyway."

Hmm. Elf Princess Rane? It's been a while since i've seen it.

I should watch it again and pay even more attention to the Rane-speak.
The only example I can think of where they gave both perspectives turned
"treasure in the land of the big people" into "the rock that's far from
people's eyes" or something like that, and the two phrases sounded
pretty similar.

    "Uh-oh! The truck have

has

Nope. As the notes explain, this one's intentional.

    "Easy for you to say," grumbled Moroboshi. "You at least get

suits

At least you get

Or I could put commas around the "at least". Maybe "at least you guys",
since the emphasis is on "you".

    [But HANSON?]

Urk! Bad author for dredging up that abomination from the past. No

cookie

for you.

You were going to give me a cookie? Um... then just imagine that they're
painted blue and play funky instruments that double as firearms.

"Aha!" shouted Moroboshi, pointing his finger into the heavens.

toward the heavens (would sound better)

Yes, it would.

    "Stop that," ordered Clef. "There will be no Japanese used in my
presence."

thank you.

At least someone had sensibilities powerful enough to override the
parody.

TODAY'S EXPERIMENT....................... DEPENDS ON READER RESPONSE

true

And so far, response has been quite good. I may have to really try if I
want the label to be the obligatory FAILURE next time.

    Shinji gasped at the sight of the interloper's bleached hair and
torn jeans. "Ei-Eikichi Onizuka?"

Ooo. Tough luck being outmanuevered by HIM. :)

Could be worse. This could have been Justy Ueki Tylor. It would be
REALLY embarrassing to be outmaneuvered by him.

MIHOSHI: Well, I hope you all enjoyed the first episode of Quack
Experimental Fanfic Excel Fusion Z! ... I mean it! I really hope you
enjoyed it, because if you didn't, then Nidoking might stop writing

it

altogether, and then I'd cry!

It was amusing. I enjoyed it.

MIHOSHI: (cries) Oh, wait... that's good!

D.B. Sommer:

Human scum, to be sure.

Speaking of which, when's the next Sextacular coming out? ^_^

(Not a serious question, of course. I don't intend to rush authors who
like to take their time, as I am one myself.)

recovers unscathed. This is about the only trait he shares with

Hyatt,

but he makes a great straight man. (Oddly enough, Nuriko does too.)

Heh.

But only in one sense.

Dick Saucer: The idol guitarist/dragon hunter from Dragon Half. Not

too

bright... he once drank a bottle of "energy drink" from the hands of

the

very dragon he wanted to slay. Neither one of them knew it was a
laxative....

Heh. Do remember him now. Really must see that again someday.

Yes, you must. There may be more Dragon Half later in QEFEFZ.

Genma: The famous man-turned-panda in Ranma 1/2. Apparently, he

can't

change back in QEFEFZ, but his signs are the perfect parallel to
Sumiyoshi's text speech.

Ah, now I see. Yes, I agree.

... you didn't get it?

Puddles of orange goo: Don't ask me. Watch End of Evangelion, of

find

someone who has and thinks they're qualified to explain it. I'm

still

trying to forget I ever watched it.

Hey! The Asuka fight kicked ass. :P

I suppose it did. Still not worth sitting through the end of the movie
for, in my opinion. That's what the first 24 episodes were for.

Koryu: A demon from Wish.

Haven't seen that one.

Don't know if they made an anime of Wish, but I've got the whole manga.
It wasn't at all what I expected... but then, I wasn't thinking in the
usual CLAMP terms.

"Uh-oh! The truck have started to move!": In the original Metal

Gear,

you had to ride in trucks to get from place to place. After a while,

it

becomes second nature, but the character still seems just as
illiterately surprised. Maybe it's not as bad as "I feel asleep!"
though.

Heh

Debating the worth of a Zero Wing reference for the next episode... nah.
This was it.

Plue: The keeper of Rave in Rave Master.

Only saw an early episode. Did like the chick's tonfa with concealed

guns in

them.

I think they're just fire-blasters in the manga... I think I'd like to
see the anime. Isn't it called "Groove Adventure Rave" in the English
dub? At least, I've seen that title somewhere...

Naru: Love Hina is one of those interesting harem stories for two
reasons. First, despite the relative eligibility of most of the

girls in

the series, Naru is the quite obvious primary love interest.

Actually that's quite standard for the genre. The love interest is

pointed

out early on and remains constantly the character who remains in the

front

running.

Can't think of many examples where the male character actually expresses
a clear preference which is actually vindicated by the series. But then
I can't claim to have read/watched many harem series anyway.

Nice fic. I enjoyed it. Got at least some of  the in-jokes. Definitely

worth

the read.

Thanks for the recommendation. I hope the second episode holds up to the
same standard.

- Nidoking

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do
it himself.

My not-so-humble webpage of fanfiction and other random junk has MOVED:
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