Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are copyright 1987, 1999 by
Takahashi Rumiko.  Publishing rights (Japan) by Shogakukan Inc.
Publishing rights (North America) by Viz Inc.  This work is not
intended to infringe those rights.

***************************************************************

      Pagliacci - A story of the world of Ranma 1/2

      Chapter 6

***************************************************************


         Gosunkugi Hikaru, not being a professional martial artist,
didn't know how to hop from rooftop to rooftop the way many of the
so-called "Nerima Wrecking Crew" could. But as he dashed through the
streets of Nerima, he felt an odd sensation deep in his chest as he
saw the cloth advertising banners that hung from many a store front,
as well as the power cables, phone lines and other rope-like objects
dangling overhead. This feeling only grew stronger as he noticed,
just ahead of him, a rather large nylon banner celebrating the grand
opening of a new pachinko parlor. The banner, covering the entire
storefront and wide enough to cross from one side of the street to
the other, was gradually being winched into position by a pair of
bored employees.

         Gos headed towards that side of the street, and with a bound,
grabbed the rope from them, his foot kicking open the locking
ratchet on the winch. The sign fell, yanking the rope up through
the pulley, taking Hikaru with it.

         Just before the tail end of the rope slipped through the pulley,
Gos twisted sharply and flipped end over end, throwing himself
through the air. A free hand shot out and grasped a nearby flag,
hanging from a pole. As the flag tore free from its mount, Hikaru
used the change in his momentum to propel himself towards a phone
line further down the street. He swung from it over to a window
awning that jutted from the side of a nearby building.

         These actions were repeated, with both subtle and not-so-subtle
variations as he rapidly made his way above the traffic, headed
towards the bath-house his mother had told him of.

         Lord John Clayton, 7th Earl of Greystoke Manor, would have
given him a 7.5 for his style and technique. (Points were deducted
for Gos's obvious inexperience.)

         *       *       *

         Norton South was just as inexperienced as Gos in the more
esoteric methods of Martial Arts... well, Travel, for lack of a
better word. But as has been previously noted, the little lecher
could take a beating better than anyone else in Nerima, with the
possible exceptions of Ryouga Hibiki and Ataru Moroboshi. So he'd
invented his own, unique, manner of high-speed cross-city
transportation.

         A scream rang out from the middle of the street.

         "PERVERT!"

         *WHAM*

         And with that, Norton went flying through the air in mallet
assisted flight. Intentionally.

         He looked down as he passed the apex of his arc. "I'm making
good time," he muttered as he wiped a bit of drool from the corner
of his mouth. "Looks like I'll land less than three blocks from
the bath house." He laughed maniacally.  "Soon, I'll have the harem
I rightly deserve!"

         *       *       *

         Somewhere in Tomobiki, a very cute girl sneezed, then she
electro-shocked her Darling for no apparent reason.

         *       *       *

         The offended girl in the street passed the mallet back to her
companion. "Thanks for the loan. GOD, that guy was so... CREEPY."

         Akane just GLARED at Ranma. In, admittedly, reluctant
admiration. "Why didn't I ever think of using it like that?"

         "Well, you know..."

         "I know. I know. You're the best there is." And she half
fumed... Ranma had surpassed HER signature move... and half glowed.
Ranma had USED her signature move. Maybe that meant he cared.

         "I know something for SURE now."

         "What's that, Ranma?"

         The redhead scowled. "That there's someone out there I hate as
much as Happosai... whoever he was."

         Akane smiled. "Oh, I doubt we'll ever see him again."

         Ranma froze. "You didn't just say that. You didn't."

         "What do you-- Oh, NO!"

         Ranma sighed, then shrugged. "Too late now. Let's go by the
bathhouse on the way home. I want some hot water."

         *       *       *

         Norton, having just invented the technique, hadn't quite
perfected it yet. (It would take many angry women and MANY mallet
impacts before he got it down right.) He struck a clothesline
suspended between two apartment buildings, which absorbed much of
his momentum, then recoiled, throwing him further on.

         The resulted in his one-point, face-first impact about two
meters from the main door to the bath-house that his master had
JUST finished repairing.

         Painfully crawling from the largish dent he'd left in the
pavement, the would-be womanizer pulled himself erect. Stretching
his stiff limbs, he smiled wildly.

         "My harem awaits me!"

         And with that shout, he dashed inside.

         *       *       *

         Another mass sneezing fit struck certain residents of Tomobiki,
but it passed rapidly.

         *       *

         Screams rang out from the bath-house yet again. But now there
was a subtle difference. The usual subtle undertone of frustration
that normally accompanied Happosai-induced shouts of feminine rage
was missing, replaced by grim satisfaction.

         The reason was pretty obvious, as Norton came bouncing out of
the bath house sporting a great many more bruises than Happosai ever
had. A rather burly-looking woman (who could have given the average
sumotori a hard time in the ring) came stomping out after him. She
was followed by females of every size and age, hastily dressed in
whatever came to hand, and armed with a variety of blunt instruments.

         Bystanders (those who'd lived near the Furinkan high school, at
least) who saw the crowd of infuriated femininity and the weapons
they carried were irresistibly reminded of the morning battles that
had been a staple of the school until Ranma had arrived.

         Unfortunately, while bruised and battered in body, Norton's
perverted spirit was indomitable. He bounded to his feet and dived
_towards_ the crowd of angry women, fondling and groping them like
a man possessed.

         The owner of the bathhouse simply sighed, and reached for her
cellphone, hitting the new number she'd input into her speed-dial.
"Hello? McGyver-san? Would you please come by again?"

         Meanwhile, a crowd was rapidly gathering to witness the
Ceremonial Thrashing of the Pervert, a fine old tradition in
Nerima. (One that was celebrated at every possible opportunity.)

         "Look! Up in the sky!"

         With one final bound, eiyu-Gosunkugi had arrived.

         Women throughout the street looked, and as one, sighed deeply.
While on the very edges of the crowd, cameras could be heard faintly
clicking away.

         Gos _still_ wasn't sure what had come over him, but he didn't
seem able to stop it, or even control it. And he was discovering
that as time passed, he was losing the desire to do so. He struck a
heroic pose (what else?), stabbing a finger in Norton's direction.

         "HOLD, villain! How DARE you defile and abuse innocent women?
Women who should be respected and wooed, not molested! In the name
of Romance everywhere, I SHALL PUNISH YOU!"

         *       *       *

         Across town at the Kuno mansion, a young man was suddenly
convulsed by a severe fit of sneezes.

         Some young girls in Juuban were similarly afflicted.

         *       *       *

         Norton spoiled the moment by laughing. "Who the heck are you?
Loony-Man? Go away and leave me and my harem alone before I kick
your butt."

         "Nay," shouted Gos. "I CANNOT abandon these lovely ladies to
your perverted designs! Have at thee!"

         Norton backpedaled quickly as the tall blond stranger attacked
him with what the surrounding bystanders quickly identified as a
variation of savate, or French kickboxing.

         (It's Nerima. If you live there, you become something of a
connoisseur of martial arts styles whether you like it or not.)

         Norton hadn't studied the School of Martial Arts Construction
as diligently as he should have, being far too busy chasing women,
groping women, fondling women, molesting wom... well, you get the
idea. But he WAS pretty good at his previous school, the Yankee
Carpetbagger School of Martial Arts. He'd almost achieved a dan
ranking before they threw him out. (Even that disgusting group of
ambulance-chasing lawyers had become disgusted with Norton. Which
shows just how loathsome the little git was.)

         This being so, he reverted to form.

         "HA! TORT TOSS!"

         "Yeow!" Gos backflipped as a dozen sheets of legal paper sailed
past him, the closer ones giving him nasty paper cuts.




         "Dreamers may die, but the Dream is eternal..."



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