Subject: [FFML] [R1/2] spamfic A.G.E.N.T.S.S.
From: hmelton@daviscomp.com
Date: 7/30/2003, 5:38 PM
To: ffml@anifics.com

Blame this on the virus and the rather large number of email messages I 
got accusing me of sending a virus to their email account.

NO! I didn't have a virus, my computer has been unplugged for the last 
10 hours(thunderstorms), oh well it could have been worse I could have 
really had the virus or it could have posted to the FFML with a spoofed 
version of my email address.

It was nice to know my email address wasn't the only one being used.


----------------------------------------------------------------
A.G.E.N.T.S.S.

The girl slowly made her way back to her room raising her hands above 
her head and performing simple martial arts exercises with her upper 
body as her legs and feet seemed to sense and avoid the scattering of 
assorted chains, bandanna's,  and embedded spatula's.
The girl paused in her warm up exercises as she realized her feet were 
carrying her around a badly abused porta potty embedded in the wall, 
turning to the large plastic object the girl examined the gently 
snoring shape for several seconds and then carefully poked a few points 
on it's plastic surface stepping back as she sensed it jerk and expand 
giving a perfect pantomime of a human waking and orienting themselves, 
after a long and  restful sleep.

Taking another step away the girl returned the porta potty's bow and 
then after a few seconds of watching the porta potty gather each 
spatula and lovingly wrapped it in a cloth, she turned to the shape 
still embedded in the outline of the porta potty on the wall.

The girl stared in deep thought at the newly revealed and gently 
snoring form of a flattened chinese amazon a dozen chains radiating 
from each sleeve, finally coming to a decision, as she felt the aura of 
the porta potty leave her home, she reached out and using both hands 
poked a complex sequence of points on the boy's body, as the suddenly 
rigid body dropped from it's depression in the wall she hissed fluently 
in the Amazonian's native tongue, with a voice that was a carbon copy 
of the amazon elder's "time for work, Get there QUIETLY!".

The girl stepping back from the now bowed form of the boy she admired 
the way he deftly manipulated his aura to pull the chains back. The 
girl's feet casually avoided the cannon balls, swords, spikes and 
mallets as they quickly and in almost total silenced followed the 
chains back into the sleeves.

The girl paused at the door to her room and concentrated turning 
reluctantly from her door she made her way down to the kitchen, the 
aura of the house was still off, entering the kitchen she reached onto 
a shelf and pulled the sleeping form a of a small piglet from behind 
her mother's favorite serving set.

The girl watched as the cold to the touch piglet tried to snuggle 
closer to the warmth, nervously glancing around the room the girl 
hugged the piglet to herself as she carried it to a pack just inside 
the front door opening a large pocket on the pack's side she made a 
nest in the large number of bandanna's and dropped the piglet into the 
pocket the other hand deftly flipping and tucking the bandanna's around 
the still slightly chilled piglets body.

Turning from the pack and sighing with relief as a quick glance to the 
east showed no signs of a rising sun, the girl taking fives steps at a 
time quickly and silently made her way to her room.

The girl one hand impatiently poised over the mouse as she watched the 
computer cycle through it's start up and the monitor's screen slowly 
brightened a darkened room.

The girl's hand eagerly danced over the keyboard as the nearly silenced 
musical voice said"YOU'VE GOT MAIL".

oh my!

WARNING EMAIL VIRUS 
RETURNED MAIL SEE TRANSCRIPT FOR DETAILS
RETURNED MAIL  SEE TRANSCRIPT FOR DETAILS
WARNING EMAIL VIRUS
WARNING EMAIL VIRUS
VIRUS WARNING  the following message contained

oh MY!

WARNING  possible VIRUS  see attachment
RETURNED MAIL SEE TRANSCRIPT FOR DETAILS
RETURNED MAIL SEE TRANSCRIPT FOR DETAILS
RETURNED MAIL SEE TRANSCRIPT FOR DETAILS
RETURNED MAIL SEE TRANSCRIPT FOR DETAILS
{VIRUS)? binlauden_Sexy.jpg

OH MY!

RETURNED MAIL SEE TRANSCRIPT FOR DETAILS
WARNING EMAIL VIRUS

After the fourth OH MY the girl quickly opened one of the messages and 
after carefully examining the header and other sections of the message, 
in raw text her shoulders relaxed slightly and she shook her head in 
relief, it wasn't her computer that was infected, just someone elses 
that had her email, but why was it using her email so much?

The girl's shoulder tensed again as her computer chimed and more 
messages started appearing her hands clinched in anger and the monitor 
seemed to dim as a bright red aura outlined her form, nearly all the 
messages were the same, this wasn't just a random thing somebody was 
trying to embarras her and by  extension A.G.E.N.T.S.S., the security 
firm she was co-owner of.

Nabiki groaned and turned her head as the harsh light pushed it's way 
through her eyelids pulling the pillow over her head to block the light 
and muffle the half whispered NABIKI! she tried to ignore the bouncing 
sensation as something heavy was dropped on the foot of her bed pulling 
her feet up Nabiki'sleep fizzed mind didn't fully register the rapid 
blur of pressure points being pressed on her body until a hand was 
clasped firmly over her mouth and she felt the distinctive tingle of a 
chi charged hand being placed at the base of her spine.

oooooooooooooooohhhhhhmmmmmmmyyyyYYYYYY!

Kasumi stepped back her brightly glowing aura now transferred to the 
rigid form in the bed, trying desperately to suppress her smile of the 
now wide awake and glowing form of her sister.

Nabiki jerked the pillow and sheets  from her body and rolled over 
sitting up she opened her mouth to give her elder sister a tongue 
lashing she wouldn't soon forget.

OHMY oh oh oh mY My mmmmmy oooohmy OHMY............. oHMy!!

Snapping her mouth shut with some effort Nabiki settled for a hard 
glare as her sister smiled at her rather limited vocabulary, she was 
obviously enjoying that particular aspect of the technique, their 
mothers preferred method of waking her sleepy head middle daughter.

Kasumi smiled as Nabiki tried to bawl her out, she could now see why 
her mother had used it so often, it was just so much fun to see someone 
under the "wide awake pokymon pressure points".

OhmY! oHMy! at the desperate sound in the second word Kasumi took pity 
on her sister and pointed at the large stack of cookbooks and said"I'll 
do it, I'll teach Ranma about computer's"

OHmmmffffff Kasumi quickly placed a hand over her sister's mouth and 
held a CD-rom  up in the other hand and said"I've put the challenge 
note in place of my mother's cook books and overwrote fake virus 
gibberish on the  backup's copies of the recipees that were on my 
computer, it's time for the second part where have you been storing  
akanes attempts at making a meal?"

Ohfmmmmmmmf frowning around the hand over her mouth and the word that 
had tried to emerge Nabiki grabbed a pen and note pad from her desk and 
scribbled"Basement the large red biohazard box behind the sacks of fish 
food."

Nabiki waited until she saw the door shut before she said "OHMYYYY" 
gritting her teeth at the sound of the word she had said instead of the 
yesssss she had intended.

Nabiki lay back down only to "OHMY" and climb out of bed, with the 
pressure points Kasumi had pressed she wasn't going to get any sleep 
for at least 12 hours, might as well print the forms and paper work for 
signing Ranma up as an assistant to the Anything Goes Enhanced Network 
Tendo Security System.

If this worked and it was a near certainty considering the coming weeks 
of having only akane level cooking to eat, even if he only gained a 
tenth the computer skill he had as a Martial artist he would be among 
the best in the world, the script kiddies and hackers won't know what 
hit them and AGENTSS would take Nortol's place.

Nabiki typing at a speed that put Ranma's chestnut fist to shame smiled 
at the thought of Ranma desperately learning about computers he didn't 
know it yet but he had just been challenged to a  Martial arts Computer 
hacking contest with the prize being Kasumi's recipe books.


----------------------------

Yes I know it Lame,         well actually that's not a strong enough 
word more like it's crippled, but what can you expect from something 
inspired by a computer virus.


 Now I see someone has beat me to the Punch with an even better virus 
inspired SPAMFIC that is a purely evil thought a computer virus that 
turns people into happosi.

Just to be on the safe side looks like I'll keep using my AMIGA 4000 
for a few more years.

howard melton

God bless


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