Doing a little precon C+C finally.

Yahoo! Finally getting to this.

    Shortly after this (within 24 hours, actually), my website was
accidentally deleted by a similar fluke. Among the lost files were ALSO
the e-mails I'd managed to download after those six months had passed,
including a good deal of fanfictions in my backlog, and the C&C I had
written (offline) for them.

    This is, in a word, quite frustrating.

Yes, i would to buggy. I always save stuff to disks as well as harddrive
myself.

unreleased stories that I didn't like much anyway, and chances are,
neither would you. I apologize for the absence, and moreso for being
unable to send out all that saved C&C -- not to mention the backlog of
stories by writers who I appreciate that I had WANTED to C&C later.

Yeah, well, now your slate is clean and you can start anew. :)

    "So, how exactly does ki move through a body?" Mutsumi asked
curiously, looking between Ranma and Motoko.

Ranma: Sort of through your intestines. It comes out the same place too.

    "And the ki would be the people who lived inside?" Mutsumi asked
thoughtfully.

Motoko: More like the mice and roaches, who stay there longer than the
people and go places they cannot.

    "It would cause the strength of your... life-force to decrease,"
Ranma explained slowly, glancing at the manager. "Eventually, your body
would just give up, even if it were otherwise healthy."

'was' I think, since it's in reference to a single body.

    Keitaro gurgled softly and began to wobble on his feet.

    "Ah, I see," Mutsumi remarked. "And the ki is blocked through me?"

    "To a large degree, yes," Motoko answered, eyeing Keitaro worriedly.
"Oe-sensei and I will help you unblock those passageways -- part of it
is by proper breathing, and.

Motoko; The rest will be from sex.

Mutsumi: Cool. I prefer anal sex, personally.

    "So I can be saved?" the girl asked, as Keitaro collapsed on the
lawn and began to twitch weakly. "I hope it's not too late."

Hmm. Did Mustsumi real feel she was endangered? I can see the others
thinking it, but not so sure about her.

    "Yeah, that's it. Well, I'll hit the pressure points, if you're
ready," Ranma said slowly. "But... before I do that, you need to
understand that we need to do this every day for at least a month. Is
that okay with you?"

Similar to the 'cure' for Miss Hinako. Nice touch.

    Mutsumi nodded again happily, smiling. "I would like to be able to
not fall down

would be better simplified. 'I would like to not fall down so often'

    "I'm watching -- if he tries anything perverse I will catch him,"
Motoko added.

"And take over for him."

Mutsumi: Oh, so you'll grope my chest too?

Motoko: That was not what I meant.

    "That's not nearly as bad!" Mutsumi exclaimed, smiling brightly.

Mutsumi: I prefer girls anyway.

"Shall we begin?"

    Keitaro's eyes widened, and the deadness about him lessened as he
returned to his normal state, if his nose was bleeding.

awkward. I'd reword the last part about his bloody nose. 'aside from the
bloody nose' perhaps?


Ranma stepped

behind Mutsumi, reaching up under her arm, and poked two fingers into
Mutsumi's

'her chest' (no need to repeat her name)

    Keitaro looked confident as he took care of his answer sheet. At his
side, Naru looked less sure of herself, though still hopeful.

    "Do you think you did well?" Naru asked, glancing between the two
once they were on the sidewalk and headed back towards the inn. "You
look confident, Keitaro."

    "Ah... I think so, but we won't know until we get home and compare
answers,"

Might want to mention where they are if not at the Inn

Keitaro replied, shaking his head. "What about you, Oe-san?"

    "I get the feeling I totally blew my math questions," he sighed,
shaking his head.

One thing you might want to watch out for: overuse of head movement
descriptors. You use nod and shake a lot of the time, like in the above two
sentences. Might want to use other visual descriptors, even facial
expressions, hand movements, watching something that momentarily catches
their attention. That sort of thing.

    "What?" Ranma snapped, standing at attention and peering at Tamago.
"Mutsumi's fallen in a well?"

    "MYU!" the turtle chirped a second time, shaking its head quickly.

    "Oh! She's about to be hit by a car," he said, nodding. "Wait,
that's not good." He shook his head, flowing into motion. It was as
though there were some form of step-up to a higher state, he observed,
marveling at how disconnected he felt from himself at the moment.

Heh. Had me going there.

    Ranma nodded, as the images of what he'd done filtered into place.
He hadn't even managed to realize what was going on -- he'd just reacted
to it. But thinking back, he could see himself joking with the turtle,
pretending he could understand its speech, when he caught sight of
Mutsumi, about to stumble into an oncoming car. And that had -- again -- 
triggered the same sequence that had allowed him to defeat Happosai.

    What was it that made it happen? Was it that she reminded him of...
Kasumi? No, she wasn't that similar

Nicer chest, for one thing, Ranma noted.

 -- it must be something else. He

banished the thoughts, noting them down in his book

'jotting them down in his notebook' might be better as I picture him writing
it in a school book since he just took a test.

 before he forgot

them entirely. Enough time to consider it later. For now he

not sure, might need a comma between 'now' and 'he'

    "Ooh, forgot about that," Ranma realized aloud, snapping his
fingers. "I'll catch up with you at the entrance -- I'm going to get
some cold water from Haruka." He bounced away before anyone else could
say anything.

two 'any--' close together. I'd change the first to 'before the others
could'

    Mutsumi merely nodded happily, and pushed a large box at the side of
the stairs away from the wall, revealing a low tunnel leading deeper
into the inn.

    "How could we have missed this?" Keitaro asked, surprise in his voice.

The passages change to remain secret. :)

    "Yeah," Naru managed, speechless at the sight. "And... we never
found one once when we... er... made holes in the walls on accident."

Heh. She wasn't that speechless if she added that to the sentence. :)

    "I'm kind of wondering how we managed to fix up the place without
noticing something like this," Ranma added, frowning.

    Mutsumi giggled good-naturedly, and dropped to the floor to crawl
into the opening. "Come on!" she called out over her shoulder. "Follow

me!"

    The four crawled through the dark tunnel, quickly finding themselves
crawling

two 'crawled's close together. Might want to change one.

through an entrance hidden behind one of the scrolls on the

wall of Naru's room. "How come I never knew about this!" the girl
protested. "I've been here for three years!"

Naru: And hung that scroll up there myself.

    "Oh?" Mutsumi asked, finishing her calculations. "I only got four
hundred and eighty five. Is that good?"

Heh

    "Uh... that's... very good," Naru managed, blinking. "If... you
score that high, why didn't you already make it into Todai?"

    "Oh, well, sometimes I forget to write my name on the test," she
explained. "Or get sick and faint before the test. I think that's what
keeps me from getting in."

Yes, that would do it.

    "You know Mandarin?" Keitaro asked, glancing at Ranma's results. "It
looks like your English isn't too bad -- you know three languages?"

    "Er... yeah," Ranma replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Um... I
learned a little bit of Mandarin when I was younger, and was taught...
more later." She cleared her throat. "Anyway, it's a long story."

Hmm. Thought he already related that one to them, or am I misremembering
things.

    He sighed, flipped the page, and revealed a scattered collection of
himself in female form doing various jobs around an onsen. The most
prominent image was of her giving a 'victory' sign towards the camera
while grinning.

    "You really are a cutie as a waitress," Mitsune teased.

    "Yeah, well-- YAAAH!" Ranma turned his head to look at the young
woman in shock. "When did you get here?"

    "I had a feeling," she said, grinning.

Yes, but Mitsune nearly always grins. :)

    "And I wanted to learn more about Ranmas!" Suu piped up, climbing
out from under the table to sit opposite Ranma.

    Shinobu nodded shyly from Suu's side.

    "Right," Ranma grumped. "Where's Motoko-chan, then?"

    A delicate cough sounded, and the kendoka had the decency to look
embarrassed, stepping out from behind Naru. "I was... curious, myself,"
she admitted.

"Curious to see what perversions you might do with these women," she quickly
added.

    Ranma sighed, shaking his head.

more heads ashakin. :)

    At the sudden gasps of shock sounding from around him, he cleared
his throat. "Um... it's kind of a... strange story, but...." He took a
moment to school his thoughts, then nodded, some expression Naru
couldn't quite identify flashing across his face. "See, her name was
Shan Pu...."

DB: And she was almost as great a goddess as Mutsumi. Almost.

^_^

    Ranma's eyes widened in surprise, as Shampoo hesitantly emerged from
the darkness, her eyes fearful, and locked on Ranma. "Airen?" she asked
softly, biting her lip.

    "Shampoo?" he managed to squeak out.

    She smiled at him, stealing a glance towards Kintaro before she sank
to her knees, a few paces away from Ranma. "Was... curious. Wanted to
know why... Airen left."

    "Ah..." he managed, Kintaro rising to his feet, and balling up his
fists angrily.

that parses off.

    "Oh, is too-too stupid woman, not see Ranma is man," Shampoo opined,
edging slightly closer to Ranma. "But... Shampoo think that not only
reason Ranma leave."

    He shook his head, raising his eyes to meet hers. "It was too much,"
he said quietly. "My life was... crazy. If it wasn't one thing, it was
another, and something happened that I got blamed for...." He swallowed,
shaking his head. "I... couldn't stay any longer. I... can't let that
life be mine."

So Shampoo doesn't know. Odd. I thought everyone would have known by now.
OTOH, I guess this wasn't all that longer from when he left originally.

    Ranma blinked at the girl, realizing what she was offering to give
up. "For.... This is my issue of honor," he said, nodding slowly. "This
is what I got myself into,

Twice. Both at the villiage and over the Reversal Jewel.

    "Nothing like that!" Ranma protested, shaking his head. "I was a kid
-- I wasn't ready to settle down with any of them -- period. It wasn't
like I was asking for relationships. And... things got messed up
later.... Uh. Anyway. I'm telling you about Shampoo right now."

Ranma; While she was attractive, she wasn't that imaginative in bed. She was
a strictly meat and potatoes girl, if you know what I mean. After a while, I
got kind of bored and wanted something a little different.

Mitsune: I've got a copy of the Kama  Sutra and a few pages marked off with
stuff I wanted to try.

Ranma: Cool.

    Suu nodded with interest as Ranma flipped the page, which showed
Ranma and Shampoo bicycling along the road, Mt. Fuji standing clearly in
the background. Assorted other pictures showed Ranma and Shampoo about
their various camps, and running through the woods.

    "She... taught me a lot about tracking, and how to speak Mandarin,"
he said quietly. "There was a loophole in the law that she could use to
get both of us free. If I agreed to be married to her for a month...
then she could decide that she didn't want me, and declare the marriage
nullified. Since... it was my own honor, I agreed. I owed her that, and
for the next... well... three months, we stayed together, traveling
across Japan."

Heh. Amazing how one month can turn to three. :)

    "Oh, that must have been cute!" Mutsumi exclaimed, clapping her
hands together.

    "Uh... I don't really like... cats," Ranma managed, paling slightly.

    "He's actually

Actually, he's (sounds better to me)

    He accepted the bracers hesitantly, feeling the cool cloth-like
substance

I don't really picture hide as being all that cloth like.

    Ranma was speechless. He had known this was coming -- they had
planned it, after all. Both of them had agreed about it... and yet...
yet he could see how much it hurt her. He could feel it too, after all.
And she had given him such a priceless gift to thank him. What did he
have to give to her?

Good memories.

     She was gone before he returned to the campsite, and by the time he

considered following her, he realized what a bad idea it would be.

Yep. Best to leave it as is. Nice resolution to that part of the old story.

    "Yeah, but he won't scratch anything up."

Hehe

    Haruka coughed quietly, then cleared her throat, shooting Mitsune a
level look. "Hush, you," she said. "Anyway, I want to tell Ranma where I
want the new things to go."

    "More heavy lifting!" Mitsune cheered. "I'll keep you company."

And drink. Watching people lift heavy things is thirsty work.

    That aside, she'd improvised at least one of her own, and thought

she might be close to learning another... but before that happened,
she'd have to... wonder at the large wooden deck covering what had once
been one of the larger craters in the backyard. Had the construction
crew left it before they departed?

Hmm

    "This is new," she mused, inspecting the neatly lined rows of planks
and boards. There was a square section near the center, looking much
like a trapdoor. Motoko approached it cautiously, seeing a strip of
cloth lying on it. She picked it up in one hand, and frowned at it
curiously. It looked like a belt, but someone had covered it almost
completely in.... "Turtle food?" she mused.

    "Motoko!" a voice called from the house, warning her. "Step away!"
Suu rushed towards her, looking worried.

Heh. Probably a pit to train in the turtle-ken.

    Light flickered on, in the form of an aged computer monitor of some
sort, spilling illumination across the floor of the pit. Irregularly
spaced and sized stones lined nearly the entire floor, but it appeared
to be otherwise empty. Except for the pair of glowing eyes atop the
monitor....

One of many, I'm sure.

    Before the dust and debris had even stopped falling, Ranma leapt up
out of the pit, Motoko in his arms. He bounced across the yard for a
moment to collect Suu, then landed on the balcony next to Keitaro. Suu
spun in place when he set her down, falling to sit on her backside.
"Ow," she protested dizzily.

    Motoko was wide-eyed and trembling in Ranma's arms, and he looked at
her in concern. "Figures the first night I get to sleep as a guy
something goes crazy," he mumbled. "Motoko-chan?

That's awful familiar of him.

    "I was... distracted," she managed, not raising her head.

    "Well... I do the same thing around... cats," he reasoned. "Are you
okay, then?"

    "I'm fine," she assured him, raising her head and nodding. "Suu is a
good person -- I do not believe she would do such a thing if she knew it
would... bother or hurt someone else."

Suu: Permenantly, anyway.

    The girl nodded quickly. "I got the instructions off the internet,"

I thought she said she got them from a book Haruka dropped.

    "Ranma seems to be much more frightened of cats than you are of
turtles, anyway," Suu said, shrugging. "I'll come up with something
better to surprise you next time!"

Good idea.

    There was no answer from within, except for the quiet clattering of
things being shuffled around -- or perhaps assembled. A line of flashing
light across the bottom edge of the door suggested a welding torch,
despite the strange colors that were appearing.

Heh.

    "I'm here!" the girl said, looking slightly winded, but still
smiling cheerfully from the top of the stairs. "Oh, Naru and Keitaro
were in the middle of something! How naughty!"

    "Gah!" Naru managed, dropping Keitaro's hand and blushing darkly. "I
swear I was only hauling him outside to have my way with him!"

Wonder what she meant to say.

    Shinobu sighed, looking upwards. The weather was beginning to turn
again, as well. Dark, clouded skies tended to add to the atmosphere of
dreariness.

Unless you're in the middle of a forest fire. Then they're like god smiling
upon you. :)

    "Um... is something wrong?" she finally managed, looking between the
two in concern.

    Naru looked up, relaxing her expression, and sighed. "Suu won't come
out of her room to talk to us," she sighed.

She was in there all day?

    In due course, the pair had reached the bottom of the descent, and
then proceeded to crawl through a network of tunnels, Sarah pausing on
occasion to consult her hand drawn map. "I think it's this way," she
said, pointing to an open space ahead of them, illuminated by the
flashlight. "Or... the next one to the right. I'm not sure."

Sarah: One of them leads to Suu's room, the other to the fifth ring of Hell.
Can't tell which is which.

    Mutsumi adopted a curious expression, and cocked her head to one
side. "So, you don't like touching me, then?"

    "I--"

"am not going to answer questions that have no right answer. "

    "Well," he temporized, "I'm... doing it to try and help you, not for
fun. I mean... it's... not that I wouldn't... like to... um...
normally... but...." He scratched the back of his head, staring at his
feet. "Well, I mean, if I really wanted to, I guess I could just get
some cold water... but that's not the point." He shook his head again,
and gesticulated with both hands in front of him, "I don't think about
it like that when I'm helping you. I mean, I'm not that desperate to try
and do something perverted, even if I don't exactly have girls falling
over themselves for me--"

anymore

    A square section of the ceiling flipped downward at that precise
moment, and a panicked Shinobu tumbled free, landing squarely in Ranma's
extended arms.

    "... or maybe I do, but that's still not the point," he grumped.

Heh .Nice touch.

    Gritting her teeth, she swung through the opening, dangling for a
long moment over the floor before she let herself drop the last
centimeters to the ground. From there, she peered around the veritable
jungle of plants that Suu had placed throughout the room, until she was
able to spot Suu again. It had been easier from the trapdoor's superior
height... more places needed trapdoor access in the ceilings, she
decided, glancing upwards. If she ever built her own home, it would be
riddled with secret passages -- Hina-san certainly knew what she was
doing when she set about designing the inn.

Heh Interesting thought process on Shinobu's part.

    Sarah dropped the banana curry down, startling Shinobu out of her
reverie. Dismissing the daydream, she managed to catch carefully

catch the carefully

    "Oh, well, I was going to use my computer for something... but then
I got distracted by a game of Super Tetris vs. Columns IV: Mega Death
Championship Tournament Edition Turbo -- Online," Suu explained. She
blinked, glancing at a clock. "Wow. This update is taking way longer
than I thought it would.

They always do.

    ***

    Ranma leafed through a book, frowning intently.

    "More studying?" Mitsune asked. "What are they quizzing you on
now... 'Your Lawn and You: A Guide to Yard Maintenance?'"

    Ranma looked up from the book and shook his head. "Nah," he said,
closing it. "Just wondering about the yard -- it got all torn up and
everything. I want to see about fixing it so I can undo all the damage I
caused before I leave," he replied simply. "It's also one of the most
boring books I've ever read.

Heero Yui: I don't know. Yardwork can be interesting, if you're struggling
against the right opponent.

Now how's that for a gratuitous plug? ^_^

    "We have a ceremony," Mitsune explained, holding up a small handful
of firewood. "We need fuel for the fire for our big pot -- we make soup
for everyone, and drink until we drop!"

    Ranma stretched, rising to his feet, and nodded, setting the book on
the deck he had been sitting on. "Firewood," he mused. "Should be plenty
of deadfalls. Where do we take it all?"

    Mitsune led the way, picking out the pieces, and having him carry
it. When she had

think you can drop this 'had'

    "It's a yearly tradition, but we skipped it two years in a row,"
Mitsune explained. "The old pot cracked, and we finally got this new one."

So Mitsune has been there for more than three years?

    "I still say that looks easy," Ranma said stubbornly. "Can I see the
other bottle?"

    Haruka narrowed her eyes, and grudgingly handed it over. Ranma
replicated Mutsumi's feat, then grinned, handing the empty bottle back.
"Hey, that wasn't so bad," he said, blinking blearily at the woman.
"Say, Haruka, you never told me you had a sister."

Heh. Yep. Poor Ranma.

    Mutsumi looked at the fallen man in consternation, then knelt at his
side and shook him gently. "Ranma-kun?" she asked. "Are you okay?"

    He opened his eyes briefly, and shook his head. "I taste... metal."

heh

That done, he passed out again.

    "Um... Ranma-kun, can you give me your light show again?" Mutsumi
asked, shaking him slightly.

    "He's come for me, girl. It's my time," he mumbled, shaking his head.

double heh.

    "Please?" Mutsumi asked, clasping Ranma's hand to her chest.

    "Okay," he grumbled, his head lolling to one side. In a second, the
two of them were enveloped in an aura of blue flame, exploding away from
the pair, and illuminating the area clearly. It was enough to drown out
the light from the chain of lanterns strung overhead. The flames burned
brightly for a long minute, then flickered out, Ranma seeming to recover
his senses at the end of it.

    "Ooh!" Suu cooed, wide-eyed. "Ranmas need to be exposed to alcohol
more often!"

Hehehehe.

    Come to think of it, the last time that they'd really done anything
was when they reviewed the photo album in her room, and then... Mutsumi
had arrived. And before that was the date that... when she thought about
it, she had ruined by thinking Keitaro and Ranma were lovers.

Silly girl.

    "It.... I think she fell, and he caught her... but she didn't
complain when he touched her," Naru clarified, realizing she didn't
fully understand the situation herself. "And when he... does something
perverted like that with me, I beat him up."

    "Um...." Ranma seemed hesitant, then sighed. "It's not like he's
constantly putting his foot into his mouth -- I don't think he's stopped
liking you, Naru. All that's different is that... uh... Mutsumi doesn't
hit him." There was a moment of silence while the smaller girl looked
away, towards the twinkling stars. "I don't think it really means that
he... likes her."

well, likes her 'that way'

    "I can't imagine," Ranma said dryly. "Look, if he likes you, he
likes you. Some other girl isn't probably going to change his mind,

Oh,sure. that NEVER happens. :P

    Ranma turned away, but before she could re-enter the secret passage,
Naru asked, "What about Kitsune, Oe-san?"

    The girl paused, and raised her gaze, considering. "I don't know,"
she finally said, shaking her head. "I don't... know her well enough to
say.

Ranma: She's probably a good lay, but aside from that, no idea.

    ***

    Sighing, he slumped backwards, laying on the floor, and staring at
the ceiling listlessly.

    "How?" he asked quietly. "I never even saw it coming...."

Yes, well, sometimes it comes from out of nowhere. :)

Nice work. Dealt a lot with the relationships and filled in some more of
Ranma's past. Eager to see more.

DB Sommer

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