Aside from the grammatical oopsies that the others have pointed out, I 
noticed that you caved and pulled the cigarette bit.  I don't have a 
problem with Ranma smoking, but I think this works better.  I really 
cant see any reason why Ranma would lite up just BEFORE a fight.

However, I think it would work darn well if he starts to light up right 
After, while Ikkuku has latched onto Usagi, only to be asked not to.  I 
think it would help to further accentuate just how stressfull this day 
has been for Ranma so far.

I don't 'cave' and you need to look again. It's still there.

-Sama


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