First: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Second: The pacing needs work. The beginning is slow, deliberate...
Solid. While the switch in tone from [DARK] to [FARCE] works, the
change in speeds doesn't - the latter bits have a breathless, frantic
feel that left me, at least, going, "Well, I -think- it was funny, but
it went by too fast to be sure."
Third: All ranting is IMHO only.


Blessed be.
-n




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