Replies inbetween (sorry if I repeat)
----- Original Message -----
From: <Aleh@aol.com>
To: <thermopyle@tds.net>
Cc: <FFML@anifics.com>
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2003 8:49 AM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [Sailor Moon] [AU] Alternate Views 01
In a message dated 11/18/2003 11:24:07 AM Eastern Standard Time,
thermopyle@tds.net writes:
Jaedite's inner thoughts don't work very well, in my opinion, with
respect to what has happened in the past. The description of Usagi
crashing to the floor long ago in a clumsy mess makes it seem, to me,
as though he had run into her BEFORE the divergence point, in which
case some of the other Senshi would be awake. This made me think that
they had been killed somehow early in their careers, although my
previous guess was that Usagi's family had been attacked and
slaughtered.
My read of it was that Usagi was simply still a klutz when they
first
met.
Quite.
I really don't buy Usagi's personality here. She doesn't read as
though she's in pain. She reads more as a witty, sarcastic superhero
out of a generic fanfic. I don't see how she evolved from being Usagi
to being like this at all. That's a big problem, since I like the
original Usagi. I don't like this one.
There are clues later on, if you missed them.
Plus, Therm, please go read Spiderman, several DC heros, etc. The
"wisecracking, witty" hero is a staple. ALL were shaped by pain.
It's also not unheard of in Anime, ethier. Being "witty and saracstic" is a
coping mech, as well... plus Usagi's what? at least 6 years older here?
I've only watched up to episode sixteen of Sailor Moon, but I'm
already quite sure that Beryl is not a patient woman. Letting Jaedite
run around on his own for years while suffering constant defeats at
the hands of Sailor Moon simply isn't believable. She would either
have done the same thing she did in the anime--that freezing thing,
whatever it was--or she would have let her other generals go to work.
Years of patient waiting is something I just can't believe.
If you haven't noticed, this is *NOT* based on the anime, but on the new
live-action version. Events are *VERY* different in some respects in that.
And, since I haven't YET watched the LA (bad cabbit...) it's also very
familiar to manga readers (according to what I've heard the LA is based on
the Manga, as closely as possible. In which they were a LOT different
(espically Usagi, and Rei, though the others had noted differences.
*snigger*)
Go talk to Chris Jones about the major differences between the two series.
The plot progression isn't really believable. Things developing the
way they are now, after years of Usagi being on her own like
this...well, I have trouble with that. There doesn't seem to be any
reason for it. Since I haven't seen Minako's introduction I can't say
whether her introduction at this point works, but it feels wrong to
me--it feels like she should have shown up ages earlier.
Again, this isn't based on the anime, and Minako is a rather... different
character in the LA version.
As she is in the Manga, as well, as noted above. However, I will note that
Minako in the LA is supposed to be different than her manga counterpart, in
some respects
This really doesn't feel like Usagi. By this point I really want to
know how old Usagi is supposed to be. The introduction for her job
made me think she was some kind of cop, too, which isn't good.
Journalist. It's pretty obvious, really... and again, this is based on the
LA
version. A lot of the characters and interactions are different on that.
PhotoJournalist, to be more presice. In the Manga, there are signs that
Usagi has chosen that as her likey job, after school
I didn't really get much of an impression from the scene between him
and Sailor Moon to indicate that they were very close as honorable
enemies, so this feels a bit weak. Also, the whole mystery of her
rage thing seems off. When Sailor Moon showed up the Dark Kingdom
(and Jaedite, as being in charge during this period) had just started
the attacks. It wouldn't be that difficult for Jaedite to look into
possible causes for Sailor Moon to be after revenge. Granted, the
characters in the original story aren't smart enough for that, but
this isn't the original story.
Again, this is based on the LA version -- Jadeite is a rather different
character in that.
This made no sense to me. Why would Tuxedo Mask jump in and haul her
out like that? His assumption here--that she's being attacked, or
something--makes no sense. Especially not with the fact that they
have met each other prior to this scene, and so he should know that
she is quite capable of fighting on her own.
No, they haven't -- met eachother, that is, and Tuxedo Kamen is...
again... a rather different character in the LA version.
And again, this feels absolutely nothing like Usagi.
Read further and see why she acts like this.
I'm wondering how they met and how their relationship developed like
this.
So am I, frankly.
This isn't in the present--this is in the past! Also, this whole
youma approach doesn't fit with the series. Jaedite's youmas always
went for massive crowds, which wouldn't be found in a house-to-house
approach. I haven't really gotten the impression that in this AU all
youmas rip up their victims, either--you need to go one way or the
other, I think, either they do or they don't.
This is the divergance point (in modern times), actually. I'd wait
a
bit longer and see just what's going on here.
Since when do youma physically kill their victims? Again, I've only
seen up to ep sixteen, but the victims are always drained without
physical harm. That is also true of at least the second half of the R
season, which I read the manga for. I don't get this whole covered in
her parents' blood thing.
We don't know why this happened yet -- it's a good idea to wait and
see just what's going on in that respect.
Where's her brother?
In a coma.
Hm. Overall thoughts? This isn't Usagi. The way that Usagi ended up
here from her original state is quite unclear. How Usagi ended up
very dominant in her relationship with Luna isn't indicated. How the
whole lesbian thing with Rei showed up is never even mentioned. The
respectful relationship between Jaedite and Usagi that developed isn't
very clear. The idea of all this waiting years to happen (by this
point all of the other SM enemies should have long since shown up,
too, which is a problem) is hard to go along with.
Your comments are rather obviously pointing to the fact that you
didn't notice which continuity this AU was based on.
*me restraines biting comments to the first poster*
Therm, no offense, but watching only 16 eps of the Anime SM, really, really,
REALLY REAAAAAALLLY doesn't give insight to Usagi.
At all. While this is based on (according to Aleh) the LA one, which is
closely patterned after the _MANGA_ version of Usagi...
there are some things to note about Usagi. Her _biggest_ strength is her
_love_.
Now, turn her love for her family into whips of pain... what do you get?
^_^ (I was working with Nightelf on a varaint theme, nice job Alex on
this...)
I find this Usagi _QUITE_ belivable for ethier the Anime _or_ the Manga
version, and more importanly, I _can_ see the blows she took.
On Tuxy's being a "theif"
In the Manga version of SM (and hte LA, apprenlty) Tuxy is HUNTING for the
Crystals, and is QUITE willing to steal. ANd, is supposed to protect a
"princess"
(has a BIT more of a clue than the Anime one. I perfer the Manga SM in a lot
of respects, mind you, but... *shrugs*)
This Tuxy's figured out that Sailor Moon is the princess.
Comments to the writer:
I _don't_ comment on spelling or grammer, ever. It's me, and I'm NOT about
to call a pot black. (I'm the kettle. :)
You've done a good job so far, and I'm quite intriguted by this... I'm
waiting for more, and truthfully, I have some comments.
I feel to make this story totally belivable... you should answer these
questions (Note, this is ALL IMHO)
First. Why did Setsuna _LET_ Usagi do this to herself? (I had a answer in
IWTS, but...)
Second: Why is LUNA letting her do this to herself?
Third: Minako is clearly playing bait for Usagi, and ... why hasn't Arty
awoken the others?
Fourth: How did Tuxy figure out SM is the princess.
Fifth and last: How did Usagi accidently aquire her senshi
Other points to consider: One, consdiering that serious time has passed, why
hasn't the S crisis events happened yet?
Two: Galaxia.
ALL of Sailor Moon happens within a good 18-24 months. Why did it dilate?
I do hope you will answer these questions in a later chapter... for what you
currently have is a good start.
Andrew
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