Nidoking wrote:

    "Stop! Put me down! Let me go!" screamed Koshi Rikdo as two
strong-armed goons dragged him down a long hallway. "I'll call the
police! I'll draw unfavorable caricatures of you in my next manga!"

Bah. That never works.

    "What do you want from me?" demanded Rikdo.
    "It can't be hard to figure out," replied the figure. "I promised
the fans a second episode, and they clamored for more. I can give them
more... but I need something from you first."

please let it be OOCness, language, drug/alcohol use and shounen ai. You
can't go wrong with a mix like that

    Nidoking leaned forward into the light, shoving the last of a wad of
cotton into his cheeks. "Come on, Rikdo," he said in a belabored Italian
accent. "We're all family here. I just need ya ta do me a favor."
    "But there's no comedy left!" Rikdo protested. "You've already lost
the shock value of replacing all of my characters!"
    "Characters are cheap," replied Nidoking. "We got a million of 'em.
Me and my boys, we can make anything happen. There's a lotta little
characters out there that never had the chance to make it big.

Like the guy from 'Dog Soldier' or the cast from 'Roots Search'

    "Hail, Lord Clef!" shouted Mihoshi, saluting as smartly as she could
without becoming a living oxymoron. "ACROSS Senior Officer Mihoshi
reporting for duty as usual!"
    Yakumo weakly waved. "Yo."
    A small patch of floor exploded at Yakumo's feet, expelling a small
saucepan which hit him in the forehead. "Hey, keep it down up there!"

Heh

    Clef glared at her. "That's not funny." He tapped his pointed nose
on the floor, and the tile beneath Mihoshi's feet vanished. She fell
into the resulting pit with a loud clatter of cookware.

Nice variation on that

    Clef shook his head vigorously. "Puun! I mean, no! That's not right
at all!" He slammed his face on the floor, and another tile ceased to
exist.
    "My living room!" came the voice from downstairs. "This is an
invasion of my privacy!"
    Yakumo groaned and sat up. "Lord Clef, do you think you could just
give us our mission so we can get to someplace that's less expensive to
destroy?"
    "As I was about to say, there's no need for me to give you your
mission ahead of time today," said Clef. "Since this body is
significantly smaller and much less mineral

less mineral? I haven't any idea what that's supposed to mean.

    "Yay!" Mihoshi cheered again. "I finally get to live out my
wonderful bondage fantasy with Lord Clef!

What? No hamsters in it as well? Not much of a fantasy, is it?

 This is the happiest day of my

liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife... sorry!" she apologized, pulling herself out of
the downstairs furo.
*************************************************
    In a secret room that lay behind a secret door with the word
"SECRET" on the plate - which was what marked it as a secret room - six
civil servants sat at their desks, waiting to hear from their employer.
"Any idea what the chief's got for us today?" asked Nuriko.
    Moroboshi shook his head. "I have a feeling we're not going to like
it."
    "That's not all you're feeling," said Rally, cocking her pistol
threateningly. "Now remove your hand from my leg before I remove it from
your wrist."

heh

    "Yes, Ma'am," Moroboshi said hastily, withdrawing his hand.
    At that moment,

That seemed a bit bland as an intro, which is odd since I use it all the
time. Might want to start of the sentence with something else.

 >     "That," Xellos announced jovially, "is a secret! But today's mission

isn't, because it was suggested that there's a far greater chance of you
successfully completing the mission if I tell you what it is."

I doubt the odds go up that much.

    "Actually, it's not even classified," Dr. Mori corrected him. "You
see, the first model, Bloodberry, was built as the perfect example of an
adult female. As such, her reaction to male advances is somewhat less
than desirable."

Only go guys. :)

    "Yes, rubber," Dr. Mori agreed readily. "As you can see, neither of
the preprogrammed personalities has met its specifications. That's why
we created the third model with no personality, memory, or knowledge of
any kind. We simply call her 'Chii'."

Hehehe. Evil.

    "Is that all she can say?" asked Rally. "That's going to get
annoying REALLY fast."
    "She's a learning machine, of course," said Dr. Mori. "I've
programmed her to mimic everything Moroboshi does and add it to her
database."

Oh, that should be fun

    "Oh my god!" shouted a high-pitched voice from just outside the
police box. "They killed Kenny!"

Good point

 "What?"

    Zenigata shook out the match he'd just used to light his pipe and
took a puff. Then, he was swinging his arms and kicking in a
disappointing mockery of a cowboy jig. "Come on all you people, let's
get out on the street/and do a little walking, 'cause that's good for
the feet!/We're gonna find a killer, you bet your little head./'Cause by
the end of this chapter, somebody will be dead." He took a bow and swept
out the door. A buzzer sounded in the distance.

Thank you. That was painfully bad.

     With another tap of his nose, Clef created another pit under

Mihoshi's feet. He wiped his front paws with a satisfied smirk until the
leash around his neck went taut. "Oh, sh-!"

forgot the cardinal rule of cause and effect, he did.

    Seconds passed, and all was quiet on the surface. A city inspector
walked past the two holes, looked down at them, and made a few notes on
his clipboard.

Now this stretches my suspension of disbelief too far. City inspectors
*never* work hard enough to discover things like that. At least ten people
would have called in with complaints before one would have gone near the
place, and even then they probably wouldn't have bothered noting anything.

    "So now you're a female android too?" asked Mihoshi, puzzled. "Just
how many of those are in this story, anyway?"
    "I am not a woman! I am a human being!" shouted the metal man. "Er,
I mean... I was a full human before, except for the metal plate in my
head, the artificial titanium leg, my gold teeth, and a pair of nipple
rings! But then I met the two of you, without your pet rat -" Clef
growled "- and was valiantly killed in ferocious battle!"
    "You tripped over a blade of grass and impaled yourself on your own
sword," recalled Yakumo.
    The cyborg pointed his elbow and fired a missile at Yakumo, blowing
him to bits. "But every time Damuramu dies, he comes back better,
stronger, and more made of metal than before!

Yep.

 large gourd.

    "A girl?" asked Mihoshi. "Wasn't there a handsome blond man here
before?"
    "I don't know any blond man but," said the girl, pausing in odd
places as she spoke, "Key is here to, sing a song about, a mission that
you and, you are supposed to go, on."

Nice cameo.

break back. "Mihoshi, what did I just say?"
    "Stop breaking the fourth wall?" guessed Mihoshi.
    "Correct. Now, hand my leash to Yakumo."
    Mihoshi meekly did so, as the familiar pit opened beneath her feet.
    "Ha ha ha! Damuramu didn't even need to expend any effort!" Damuramu
declared triumphantly. His expression quickly turned into one of pain
for a split second as the groin-leash pulled taut, and he was quickly
jerked off his feet to join Mihoshi at the bottom of the hole.

Everyone forgetting the cause and effect rule, I see.

    "What was that all about?" asked Nuriko.
    "I think the author just bought the Excel Saga manga he'd been
wanting for so long, and might be planning to integrate it somehow into
this story," suggested Bloodberry.

Sadly, this sort of thing does happen often enough

    "And this affects us how, exactly?" asked Rally.
    "I don't think we'll have to worry about it any more than we worry
about anything else in this convoluted fanfic," replied Bloodberry.
    "I say, what are we talking about now?" asked Zenigata.
    "Never mind," said Bloodberry. "Now, where were we?"
    "I can't rightly remember," said Zenigata, taking off his hat to
scratch his head. "What the hell is this? A stupid flower? I don't need
this crap!" He disgustedly threw the lupin to the ground.

Awww. And he finally caught lupin as well. He never does that.

    "Did he say haunted?" moaned Moroboshi. "As in, haunted by ghosts?"

    "Chii ghosts?" moaned Chii.
    "There's no such thing as a ghost!" insisted Zenigata. "It's all a
trick, I tell you!"

True. Yakumo dies all the time and he never becomes a ghost.

    Shinji gasped. "Who or what are you?"
    "I'm you," replied his other self. "I'm a more lucid, less spineless
version of you who shows up when your wimpiness becomes so bad that the
readers can't stomach it anymore."

So he's Amuro Rei from MSG? :)

     "Yes, sir," announced one of his cronies. "We're nearly ready to
     The other sighed. "Just drop it already, sir. Nobody thinks it's

funny anymore."
    "Well, then, how about 'Shagadelic, baby!'"
    "That's the same reference."
    The old man sighed and slumped in his throne. "How come one guy can
play two classic roles in the same movie and I can't even do a proper
homage?"
    The younger man behind the throne sneezed in a way that sounded
distinctly like "RIPOFF!"
*************************************************

Indeed. I agree wholeheartedly. And it has nothing to do with the SM/EVA
Austin Powers parody I have planned. Nononono.

Damuramu. "Thanks, but you can have it back."
    "Ready, Yakumo!" shouted Mihoshi, who had tied her end of the rope
to a large weight perched on the edge of the pit.
    "Let it go!" ordered Yakumo.

Hmm. Unexpectedly good teamwork.

    Mihoshi pushed the weight over the edge.
    Damuramu scowled at Yakumo. "Damuramu hates you." The rope jerked
sideways, and he plunged into the pit again.
    Yakumo sighed contentedly. "I love being around someone who's better
comic relief than I am."
    The weight flew up from the pit and landed on Yakumo, crushing him.

Better. :)

    Mihoshi blinked. "Do I know you?"
    The girl put her hands on her hips and pouted. "You didn't forget
little Marin, did you? We used to live together in the orphanage right
near here!"

Marin? That one eludes me at the moment.

    With that, Damuramu's leg separated from his body and fell to the
ground with a clatter, followed quickly by the unbalanced Damuramu.
    "This is no mere sword," said Cell as he raised the weapon to his
shoulder. "This is the Z Sword, a sacred blade from the great Kai who
rules over Brigadoon."

Ah yes. Now I recall. Only saw the first 4eps of that or so.

BUSINESSMAN: Mihoshi, Nuku and Nuku? Forget the lawyers! We'll let them
dig their own grave!
VOICEOVER: Mihoshi, Nuku and Nuku. For the love of God, DON'T CALL THEM!
Paid for by the law offices of Mihoshi, Nuku and Nuku

That was a bit flat. Recommend axeing it.

52 Curses

http://nidoking.anifics.com/52Curses.html

@@@BACK TO THE SHOW@@@

Now that was more amusing. Excessively gratuitous and makes me want to slap
you due to envy. Very good work.

for a pen."
    "Or maybe it's just ketchup," replied Moroboshi, rubbing a french
fry against the red letters and popping it into his mouth. His face
turned blue. "I don't think that's ketchup...."

Heh. Cute.

    "Wait, hold it!" called Rally, as she emerged from a door on the
near side of the train. "The door gag just doesn't work in prose."

Nod

    "I've seen enough!" said Natsumi, pulling him away from the corpse.
"Both of you are coming with me, and that's that. You're Under Arrest!"

Argh! The worst line of all. :)

    Shinji reached up and grabbed Onizuka's face. "Let's see who you
really are!" he shouted as he pulled off the mask.
    Naru and Shinji gasped in unison. "D.B. SOMMER?!"

Oui. Tis I.

    "Of course!" exclaimed Shinji. "It all makes sense! He was the
author who inspired this story, so of course he'd have to be in it
somewhere!"
    D.B. shook his head. "There's one problem with that. If I were
really D.B. Sommer, I wouldn't be married to Naru."

Oui. Tis a good point.

    "Well, that's not a problem," said Naru, reaching up to remove her
own mask.
    Shinji and D.B. gasped in unison. "MUTSUMI?!"

Hotcha. My number one girl.

    Mutsumi giggled. "Well, of course it's me, silly! Who did you
expect?"
    "Wait..." said D.B. "Isn't this a violation of the rules? There was
only supposed to be one character per series!"
    "We've broken that rule a few times already," Mutsumi reminded him.
"But if you insist... there is ONE explanation that would make sense
here." She reached up and grabbed the top of her head.
    "Wait!" protested D.B. "I WANT you to be Mutsumi!" But it was too
late, as the mask came off.

Quon?

    D.B. and Shinji gasped in unison. "KANAKO?!"

Blech. And I was so close.

DB trudges off in a depressed state.

*************************************************
MIHOSHI: So, is it really true that you got the Excel Saga manga?
NIDOKING: Isn't that what I said in the chapter?
MIHOSHI: But what does that mean for our story?
NIDOKING: Doesn't it just beg for an episode based on the original
manga?

Why? The anime series never did. :)

*************************************************
Pop-under notes: You don't seriously need me to explain these a second
time, do you? It's a meta-explanation anyway. If you can't figure that
much out on your own, you probably didn't even realize that this entire
episode was a parody of Scooby Doo. Did you?

He teamed up with Johnny Bravo once, didn't he?

Chii: The main persocom from Chobits. Like her QEFEFZ incarnation, the
original Chii began the story with no memory or personality, and learned
everything by mimicking the main character, Hideki. I think that Chii
learned more quickly, though.

Yeah. Hideki was a slow learner.

Wang: The evil vizier in The Irresponsible Captain Tylor. Is it just me,
or did viziers exist for the sole purpose of being evil and plotting to
take over the kingdom? Have you EVER heard of a "good vizier"?

Odin in the Marvel comics had one. 'Grand Vizier' I believe was what he was
called.

Sousuke Sagara: A main character of Fullmetal Panic. I say "a" because
Chidori's a hell of a lot more fun. I didn't change Sousuke's
personality either, but at least I like his series.

Got to get around to watching that one. And the rest of Witch Hunter Robin.
But then, I've been busy.

Kukai: The big bald guy from Flame of Recca. He doesn't attack anyone
until he's provoked three times. Guess he took exception to Nidoking,
but everyone wants to hurt Nidoking.

Mutsumi: D.B.'s favorite Love Hina character.

Favorite character period, now followed by Quon from RahXephon who is in the
number 2 spot.

Nice fic. Glad I finally got around to reading it. I enjoyed it immensly.

DB Sommer



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