Time Never Did Assuage

- Nice title.

Thanks.  =)  I spent a lot of time trying to find something.  I decided not
to use Shakespeare because that was become almost a cliche on my part.
Another of my favorite poets is Emily Dickenson, and I read through her
works until I came across the poem at the end of the story, which seemed
*so* apropos of Ranma's situation in this story.

They should computerize registration.
This is, like, so archaic."

- Oh, but that would be money. Nice to see that colleges don't
change even in fanfiction :-P

Hehehe, well, to be honest, it would also be the author's desire to force
Ranma to interact with other people rather than simply filling out a form
and mailing it in.

Casually she leaped over the rail, eliciting a startled
shriek from two women in the process of climbing up
the stairs.  Ranma landed and sauntered towards the
front doors, determined to leave but not anxious to arrive.

- This paragraph really strikes me, for some reason. Good
work.

Thanks.  =)  I wanted more moments like this, where Ranma casually uses her
extradorinary athletic ability, but I couldn't think of anything that didn't
seem unusually forced.

Immediately she face away

- First mistake, and it's most like a typo that went unnoticed.
Should be faced, here.

D'oh!  Thanks, I missed that.

Ranma couldn't feel any hair on her beck.

- I think you mean either back or neck, instead of beck.

Interestingly my pre-readers did in fact catch this and I totally failed to
correct it before sending it to the FFML - my *other* pre-readers.  =)

- I just had a thought. Why didn't you put Ranma's
thoughts and feelings on telling Kentaro that she is
really a guy, and how it happened? Is it because you
don't think it was needed in the story, or do you go
into it later?

Mostly because that topic was covered in TOP.  I truly wanted as little
direct overlap as possible, and I wanted to keep Kentaro out of the picture
as much as possible.  I may have overdone it, as I told Krista.  I still
want to keep the overlap to a minimum, but I can add some stuff to the scene
in her room where she decides to leave college early.  I actually meant to
have more of her thoughs along those lines anyway in that scene; I kinda got
sidetracked with all the stuff about self-restraint.

- I'm still waiting for Kuno to run onto the scene and try
to take her away. He really wouldn't fit into this story of
course, but it's sort of amusing.

Hehehe.  Yes, it wouldn't fit, but yes, it would be pretty funny.  =)

That actually made Ranma laugh.  "No, that's not it.  I'm
still happily married, y'know."

- Happily married? Interesting.

See my other TOP works for that when I get my web site back up.  The best
place to see a happily married Ranma is in the TOP/TIL crossover I did.

- Alright, finished. For starters, I want to congratulate you on
how well you portrayed a woman.

Thanks.  =)  I chalk it all up to being raised in an all-female household -
my mother and two sisters.  Even the cat and dog were female.

- As Krista mentioned, though, it might have been nice
to have Kentaro's name mentioned more frequently in
this fic, even if we already know it quite well from
reading the other.

Maybe.  I shouldn't proceed on the assumption that everyone has a eidetic
memory of all my previous fanfiction.  =)

- Kudos on developing the secondary characters, too.
It's nice to see well-developed characters all around.

Thank you.  Sometimes these things happen spontaneously - I didn't expect
Maaya to have such a large role.  I just kept adding more and more scenes
until she even became the basis for the framing story - the bits at the
beginning and end.

- Overall, this is excellent, and I'd like to see more of your
work once you get your website up.

Thanks.

And thank you for the commentary, I really appreciate the time you took to
read my story and offer it.

- Denise

-Richard

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