Deciding to drop in on the conversation since I think I actually have 
something to
bring to the table:

Well, just a few points on this fic.

First, I agree with Dave. Akane was handled poorly in this fic from the
getgo. Yes, she is hard headed, judgemental, and leaps to the wrong
clonclusion about Ranma frequently in the Manga, but as has been pointed 
out
many times, she is not the mallet happy "I gotta make Ranma's life hell"
biotch that many fan fic authors fall into the trap of representing her as.

I won't counter any statements of Akane mistreatment, but I will state that 
maybe
the whole runaway setup is little more than a plot device, to get Ranma to 
the
point of where the story can begin.

Does it justify Akane's, or for that matter, any of the Tendo residents' 
mistreatment?
Not really.  However, I can vaguely guess that the author won't be returning 
to
Nerima for some chapters to come, so it's not a major worry.  I could be 
wrong,
but that depends on Shade.

However, in this fic, she exhibits many of the "bad" fan-fic akaneisms that
just aren't found in the manga.

However, giving the amount of trouble that Ranma has weathered in the past,
it's hard to picture anything being bad enough to FORCE him to leave, and 
as
a result I think that the author would be better served going for a 
"softer"
introduction of Ranma into the LH storyline, bringing him in as one of the
orbital characters who circle the main story of Keitaro and Naru.

I can disagree with this point.  Making Ranma a satellite in the scheme of 
the
LH continuity for this story's duration almost guarantees a stagnation of 
story,
if only for the fact he will only grow so much in terms of dynamic change.  
The
story would be "LH with special guest Ranma Saotome", and readers get a 
couple
of chapters of Ranma doing pointy hat tricks before the plot fizzles and 
dies.

The author is going for an altiverse continuation of Ranma, with a complete
rehash of Love Hina.  There in lies the challange of the writer, and the
interest of the reader.

*SNIP*

Now onto the major issues I have with this fic.

First off... I am A-okay with crossovers, provided the author first, takes
the time to do the work needed... and second, makes the effort to maintain
the spirit of the worlds that they are crossing over. Simply put I find 
this
fic disturbingly lacking in a number of areas. First off... killing off
Grandma Hina like that set off alarm bells and whistles immediately. It's a
sign that the author is doing one of two things... either he or she is
cleverly tricking the character (Granny isn't dead, she just sent you a 
copy
of the will to look over, Ranma-kun. She wants everyone to know what they
are getting when she passes on and wants to make sure you're okay with it.)
into coming there, or they don't have the skill to write the fic with that
character involved...

This settles out as a moot point, because as far as I know (don't know all 
of
the LH anime, but have completed the manga), Granny Hina is little more
than a plot device, utilized to justify Keitaro's presence in the Inn.  She 
even
expands on said plot device roll, stating a contract that will give Keitaro 
full
ownership if he marries in x number of years (vol. 13, I think?  Extra help,
anyone?).

and therefore took the easy-way (read; lazy) out, and
just kills off the character rather than put forth the effort to deal with
them.  I hope it proves that the author is being cleve, not lazy... but the
mishandling of Akane puts me in mind that it's more the later than the
former.

Next, IMO casting Ranma in the role filled by Keitaro is a BIG mistake.
Their personalities are simply too different for Ranma to fill his shoes
properly. Now, I may be waving a lightnign rod in a thunderstorm in saying
this... seeing as how there are many die hard Ranma fans out there...
but,Keitaro is heads and shoulders a better man than Ranma has EVER shown
himself to be, and it's his heart that makes him what he is... which is
something Ranma is just not suited to match.

I don't believe that Keitaro's character virtues over Ranma is a point 
(though
he IS quite a bit kinder than Ranma).  I also don't think he's stepping into
Keitaro's role or substituting (pinch hitting, whatever), but instead 
replacing
him altogether.  In this altiverse, the only Urashima that we've been 
introduced
to and are aware of is Haruka.  For now, Keitaro and his whereabouts aren't
a major concern (though they may be in future chapters.  I'm also curious of
Nanako's turnout, if any).

Keitaro taught the women of Hinata-sou dorm a number of very important
lessons that I don't think that Ranma could teach since he doesn't "walk 
the
walk" like Kietaro does. Kei , for example, taught Mokoto about how love 
for
others was the key to unlocking her own strength (Something Ranma could
NEVER EVER DO because he can't even begin to deal with his feelings for
Akane in the first place) He helped Naru deal with her failures, being 
there
as a supportive friend, and offering a tender shoulder when it was needed.
Even shinobu ended up becoming more open during the series because of the
love and respect that he gave her, inspiring her and Mokoto both to try for
Toudai later on. Plus, Keitaro fills a number of roles that Ranma simply
doesn't have the maturity of self to manage in how the story of Love Hina
developed. Where Ranma harasses and insults, Keitaro is the polar opposite,
he encourages and praises others out a a genuine caring about the other
person.

Again, I'll say character virtue is not a point in this Shades-san's fiction 
piece.
I'd be more interested to see how Ranma's relationship with the Hinata-sou
residents will differ from that of Keitaro's.

Where Ranma is all about dodging comittments, Keitaro is all about
making them and carrying through on them no matter what. Unless Keitaro is
in this fic giving a counterpoint to Ranma's immaturity and bluster...there
is a serious danger of this fic just being a collection of the less funny
and risque slapstick  bits that LH was otherwise...

I agree here, that there won't be any slapstick-driven themes around, but
only because of the somber introduction Shade has given (of course, he
can prove us wrong in following chapters).

which I'd have a real
hard time seeing happen in the first place... given how coordinated Ranma
is. Keitaro's biggest fault is that he's a klutz with bad luck, he has a
tendancy to trip, fall, and flip up girls skirts while so doing, basically
giving the artist reasons to draw the female characters in underwear and so
that the females will overreact and boot him into orbit,

Now if we're just going to have pratfalls and Ranma falling into the
Hinata-sou honnies cleavage... I think I'll look elsewhere.
.

Also, frankly, Kei's drive to get into Toudai (tokyo university) isn't
something that I think Ranma could or would understand. He's just not
emotionally equiped to comprehend why someone would push themselves in
school like Kei does, especially given how it has nothing to do with 
Martial
arts.

Well, all I will say at this point is wait and see how it turns out.  You 
might
be pleasantly surprised. ^_^

Okay, enough on that...now, at the begining of the LH Manga, Kei did get
told that the Hinata-sou would be his if he became the manager... but that
was after he had already been tossed out by the girls once and was a 
serious
McGuffin purely thrown in to have a reason why the girls HAD to accept him.
For this fic I see no need to have Granny Hina die just to have Ranma end 
up
there...and in fact I found this to be a heavy handed Deus Ex Machina, and
something that boded not at all well for the fic at all. Granny Hina should
be kept around for the same reason she was in the LH manga and anime... to
be the hidden force that could be brought in to settle all disputes, and to
manipulate things from the background. Any number of alternative 
posibilites
present themselves for the author. For example this whole "Ranma leaves to
go to Love Hina" scene could be taking place right after Keitaro broke his
leg after getting accepted into Toudai, and Granny Hina has decided to 
trick
or recruit Ranma to help manage the place while Keitaro is recovering. Or
perhaps it's at the end of the series, after Narusegawa and Keitaro leave 
on
their honeymoon...

Heavy-handed as it is, the device (Granny Hina) is only different from the 
canon
begining of Love Hina by fact of tone.  We're supposed to be sold on the
concept of an emotional problem with the presented main character (which 
I'll
comment on in a moment).

and again the Hinata-sou needs a manager for a while.
Either one gives a reason for Ranma to be there, and gives him an out from
his other life, with the added benefit of not putting the readers through
the pain of an oh so contrived  Naru/Ranma romance. I mean, come on,  Ranma
has never shown any romantic inclinations whatsoever toward anyone really 
so
far, and if we end up going down that path in this fic... then having him
get all excited over some girl from a childhood memory, when he showed none
of those inclinations toward Ukyou would simply not fly with me.

I'd say the fic has potential, but not if it's one where the author is
trying to jam Ranma into Kei's role. Shade... Ranma don't fit this role if
that is your intention.

I sincerely hope that's not his intention.  And handling all of the Ranma
backstory WILL prove difficult.  I look forward to seeing if Shade-san is
up to the task he set.

These are good concerns, but let's see where he's going with this.  Of 
course,
it's only my two cents.

As for a review itself, I'll try and get to a more detailed one.  For now 
I'd point
out that the backstory (point of diversion and on) is not going to go away 
quietly
(as much as I'd like it to).  Also, I don't think I was completely sold on 
pitying the
poor Saotome for what he suddenly came to realization about.  I'd think that
a little more fleshing out of his character would suffice (mostly because it 
all
seemed to happen really fast).  Granted, "Ranma's fed up and runs" has been
done to a science, but as long as it's done right, I'm game.

So looking forward to the next chapter, and I'll try and get a review back 
at
first chance.  Thanks for sharing, Shade.

- Kenji M.

_________________________________________________________________
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