> It has been said that if an evil is defeated, it leaves a hole that
 > must be plugged.
 >
 > Woe to those who go forth to battle evil.
 >
 > For they may become that plug.

    Well, THAT doesn't bode well.

 > ****
 >
 > Luna bit into the rat savagely. It had done nothing to offend her, but
 > she had to take out her frustration on something.
 >
 > Six years previous, Luna had taken a thirteen year old girl named Usagi
 > Tsukino and revealed to her what destiny had planned.
 >
 > Luna's claws scratched the stone under her feet as snarled to herself.
 >
 > Though she had made mistakes at first, Usagi had indeed proven herself
 > worthy of the duty laid upon her. Within a year, she had gathered the
 > rest of the Inner Senshi to her, found the Ginzinhozou crystal, and
 > done battle with Beryl herself, defeating the evil queen and destroying
 > her.
 >
 > But Usagi was only thirteen . . . and to kill at any age is a terrible
 > thing.
 >
 > To commit genocide, to destroy an entire race, even if that race was
 > the Youma, is a crime beyond forgiving.
 >
 > Guilt is a slave driver on a road paved with good intentions.

    Oh, dear.

 > Luna looked out over what had once been Tokyo from the roof of the
 > skyscraper whose roof she now stood on.

    Rep of "Roof."

 > In less then ten years, Tokyo had become a devastated ruin, and rising
 > over all of it was the palace where the Sailor Senshi dwelt, wallowing
 > in barbaric debauchery and occasionally governing the world they had
 > ruthlessly conquered to better protect it.

    Sug:  "...so as to better..."

 > "So that's dinner?" A man's voice asked.

    Artemis?

 > Luna looked over her shoulder. A man stood there. His uniform was
 > grayish blue with red trim. It had been patched in places and his blond
 > hair hung to his shoulders. His arm supported a woman who had been
 > beautiful once. Now, Setsuna was a lush, a drunk. Her clothes were even
 > worse then the man's, made mostly of filthy rags and dirt. Her eyes
 > were the vacant, uncaring stare of one who had sought escape in drink
 > and other chemicals.

    Sug:  "...sought (oblivion?) through drink..."  

 > "Yes, Jadeite," Luna said. "Dinner."

    Guessed that from the uniform and hair.  Post-apocalyptic life makes 
for strange allies, it seems.

 > Jadeite set Setsuna down and picked up the rat. His hands glowed with
 > blue fire and moments later, the rat had been cleaned and cooked.

    Sat her against an AC unit or something?
    Sug:  "..blue fire.  When the fire died, the rat had been.."

 > "Not bad," Luna said, driven by good manners to compliment the meal.

    She sounds reluctant.

 > "It's all I can do," Jadeite said bitterly as he began to coax Setsuna
 > to eat something.

    The rat, apparently.  Luna needs to get her share, too, though.

 > Luna nodded and turned to study the palace once more.
 >
 > All the Senshi were tied to the Gizinhouzou, even Pluto, who was not a
 > true Senshi. Which had saved her soul.
 >
 > Unlike the others, who had been unable, or unwilling to resist
 > following their queen into darkness, Pluto had not answered the call.
 >
 > Sailors Uranus and Neptune had stripped Pluto of her garnet orb staff,
 > and by extension, her most significant powers. In doing so, Sailor
 > Pluto had died, her dream of a reborn moon kingdom dead with her and
 > now, there was only Setsuna.

    Comma placement needs adjusting.

 > Jadeite was a former General of Beryl who had been imprisioned inside
 > his own body for his failure to kill the Senshi. When Beryl died,
 > Jadeite had been freed, only to find himself in an even worse hell then
 > before.

    "..than before."

 > He had tried to exact revenge, but had failed and done so miserably.

    Sug:  "...failed miserably."

 > Somehow, Mercury, clever, clever Mercury, had managed to strip Jadeite
 > of most of his powers and then didn't even bother killing him, but
 > rather turned him out into the city.

    I'm half-surprised Mars didn't keep him around for a plaything.

 > He had joined Luna and Setsuna, and between the three of them, they
 > somehow managed to survive on the forgotten rooftops and high places of
 > Tokyo.

    Why the rooftops?  Those buildings must be rather dangerous, by now. 
What's wrong with the streets?

 > Perhaps the worst part was that there was no alternative. Luna, Jadeite
 > and Setsuna, even if they pooled their powers didn't have enough to
 > even make an assault on one of the bunkers scattered throughout the
 > city.

    Sug:  "Even pooling their powers (resources?), the three outcasts 
couldn't muster enough to attack even one of the minor defensive bunkers 
scattered about the city."
    Or something like that -- a bit more descriptive.
    And I notice Luna's not thinking about how *she* got kicked out of the 
Palace.  Nagged Usagi one time too many, eh?
    Suddenly, I wonder what happened to Artemis... and I'm not sure I want 
to know the answer.

 > Not to mention the fact that there was no resistance. Mercury could
 > detect so much as a flashlight being turned on, and unpowered weapons
 > were no good against the Senshi's powers or the legions of troops they
 > had assembled out of the dark side of society.

    No prob -- wait 'til she's drunk or "distracted."  People whove given 
themselves over to debauchery, even superpowered ones, inevitably make 
fatal mistakes.

 > And yet, Luna knew that there was an answer, buried in her memories of
 > the Moon Kingdom. Something about a resort unlike any other.

    Tahiti?  Costa Rica?
    Sorry.  Sug:  "option of last resort" or something.

 > But try as she might, she could not retrieve it.

    Sam Beckett:  "I feel your pain."

 > "So this is the wise and brave Luna," said a woman's voice mockingly.
 >
 > Luna spun, aware of Jadite rising to his feet as well.
 >
 > Standing nearby was a young woman, perhaps sixteen or seventeen. She
 > had cotton candy pink hair and wore what seemed to be combination of
 > armor and clothes. In one hand, she . . .

    Chibi-Usa.  Ohhhh, boy.  If *she's* our last, best hope, somebody 
please shoot me now.

 > Luna's heart caught in her chest.
 >
 > In one hand she carried Setsuna's staff, and in the other, the Moon
 > scepter, the Ginzinhozou glittering in the light of the setting sun.

    Ginzuisho?  Heck, I dunno how that's spelled.

 > "Who are you?" Jadeite demanded.
 >
 > The girl's lips twisted into a cruel, cruel, smile.
 >
 > ****
 >
 > "Usagi."
 >
 > Usagi sat straight, knocking away the man who up until that point, had
 > been trying very hard to make her happy and not suceeding very well.

    Okay, ew.
    Sug:  "sat upright."

 > "Highness?" he asked, trembling.
 >
 > "Over here, twit," the voice snapped.
 >
 > Usagi looked. Seated in a chair was a woman in her mid-twenties. She
 > wore a black dress with a blue cloak and her white-blonde hair was in
 > odangos. "Who the hell are you?" Usagi demanded.
 >
 > "Serenity," the woman replied. "I'm you, the future you."
 >
 > Usagi crossed her arms and stared at Serenity. "I doubt that."
 >
 > "Nerima," Serenity said levelly. "Jinnai Misata. Nineteen-Ninety."

    Ah, *that* old time-traveller trick.  I could speculate about what that 
*means,* but it doesn't really matter.

 > Usagi obliterated the man she had knocked off the bed and looked at
 > Serenity. "Fine. You're the future me. What of it?"

    Ouch.  Although it makes sense.  You have to keep that "proof" secure, 
in case you meet you future self again...

 > "We have a problem. Our daughter is loose in your time and --"
 >
 > "Daughter?" Usagi inturrupted in stunned disbelif. "I . . . pregnancy?"

    Disbelief.
    Sug:  "I... had a baby(kid)?"

 >
 > Serentiy nodded. "With Mamoru of all people," she said. "It seemed like
 > a good idea at the time. I caught him with one of the maids a few weeks
 > later. He likes them young, you know, and I still can't bring myself to
 > kill him, the annoying bastard."

    Okay, so Mamoru got dragged down too.  Given that he's not linked to 
the Ginzuisho, I wondered if he had perhaps escaped.

 > "Pregnancy?" Usagi said, still shocked.

    Sug:  "I got PREGNANT?"
    ("But what about my figure?"
     "Hey, I got it back.  See?")

 > "Yeah, it horrifies me too," Serenity said. "I told you, it seemed like
 > a good idea at the time. The point is, the resulting sprog has gone
 > back and time and taken the Garnet Orb staff and Moon scepter staff
 > with her . . . it . . . whatever."
 >
 > "And this is my problem, how?" Usagi asked.
 >
 > "I can't believe I was this thick," Serentiy said, rolling her eyes.
 > "The point is, Usagi, that if she can find help, *any* kind of help,
 > she could kill you."

    Serenity needs to point out somewhere in here that *now* is the past 
that Chibi-Usa jumped to.

 > "Me? Why me?"
 >
 > "Revenge of course. It's my own damn fault. I shouldn't have had her
 > girl-toy killed. Who'd have thought she actually cared about Hotaru?"

    Oh, no.  Not Firefly....

 > "Hotaru?"
 >
 > "Sailor Saturn. She hasn't awoken yet. Besides, it's Mistress Nine you
 > want."

    Oh, yeah, she'd fit right in with this crowd.
    But shouldn't the whole Pharoah 90 mess have already happened?  It's 
been six years since the first season.

 > "Who?"
 >
 > "You'll find out. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise."
 >
 > "Gee, thanks."

    I can *feel* the oozing sarcasm...

 > "Anyways, we have a common goal, twit. If she kills you, I'm dead too.
 > So have Mercury find that crotch dropping and then kill her before she
 > becomes a nuisance."

    Wow, neo-queen Serenity really has a potty mouth.

 > With that, Serenity vanished.
 >
 > "Hag," Usagi muttered and reached for her robe.

    "Note to self:  become *just like her.*"

 > ****
 >
 > "An intriguing offer," Jadeite mused, when the girl, who'd said her
 > name was Chibi-Usa, had finished. "But unfortnutly, there's no help we
 > can give you. Even if Setsuna was herself, which she's not, and if I
 > had my full powers, which I don't, and with those items in your hands,
 > which you admit you're not completly sure of how to use, there's not
 > enough power to take on all seven Senshi and Mamoru, plus the soldiers.

    Missing end quote.
    Sug:  "...plus their cannon fodder."

 > "Are you telling me that there's nothing you can do?" Usa demanded. "I
 > thought you were warriors."
 >
 > "We are. But even warriors need something to work with. Armor, weapons,
 > an edge. We can't take on Tokyo with out some sort of tech-"

    "Tech" seems like an odd thing for Jadeite to reach for -- his 
background would suggest magical resources would be his first thought. 
Sug "leverage" or something.

 > "That's it!" Luna shouted. "I remember! I remember!"
 >
 > "What do you mean?" Jadeite asked. "Then he frowned. "Wait . . . that
 > was destroyed. I supervised it myself."

    He catches on almost too quick, here.

 > "Not all of it," Luna said. "Three pods were later found and hidden
 > away on the off chance they might be needed. You and the others had
 > defected by then. The Queen told me before she sent Artimes and I into
 > the future."

    SP:  Artemis.

 > "A backup plan?" Jadeite asked. Luna nodded. "Figures."
 >
 > "What are you talking about?" Usa demanded.
 >
 > "A long time ago, in the latter half of the Silver Millenium," Luna
 > began. "The Moon was attacked by an alien ship, an envoy from an alien
 > race. It kidnapped people and turned them into armored creatures known
 > as Tekkamen. The Tekkamen were without fear, mercy, compassion or
 > empathy, and totally loyal to their masters."

    "Envoy" usually implies *diplomatic* contact.

 > "The war devastated Jupiter's moons," Jadeite said, and destroyed a
 > planet, turning it into an asteroid belt."

    Missing quote.  Also, Jadeite would probably use the planet's name -- 
he probably would have learned it in school.

 > "The Sailor Senshi were created soon after," Luna said. "As a force
 > powerful enough to meet the Tekkamen if they returned, or any other foe
 > for that matter, on an eqaul footing."

    SP:  Equal.
    Point of order:  if the Senshi were created to go up against the 
Tekkamen, then how are three Tekkamen supposed to do any good here/now?

 > "An hoot wood you damn ta th't 'ife?" Setsuna asked." The former
 > Guardian Of Time swayed as she stood. "A curse, th't is."

    Setsuna speaks! (or slurs).  The others ought to show some surprise.

 > "Maybe," Jadeite said. "Maybe not."
 >
 > Everyone looked at him.
 >
 > "Everything happens for a reason," Jadeite said. "And Queen Serenity of
 > the Moon Kingdom was no fool."

    Uh, Jed... look *around.*

 > ****
 >
 > They met in an abandoned house in the Shinjuku district.
 >
 > A scientist, a shopkeeper, and a soldier.
 >
 > At one point, Usagi had called each one friend.
 >
 > "Naru Okasa, Gurio, Umino , and Motoki Furahata," Luna said. "You all

    Isn't it Naru Osaka?
    Extra comma inside Umino's name.

 > knew Usagi. You all called her friend. You are here tonight to take up
 > a destiny that should not be taken up, should never even be mentioned,
 > but we have no choice."
 >
 > The three people looked at each other nervously. None of them could
 > explain why they had followed the strange feeling that had led them to
 > this place. Nor could they explain the strange looking pods, or that
 > Usagi's pet cat was talking to them. But it seemed right, somehow.

    Almost too surreal.  How would Luna have drawn them, anyway, when none 
of them have SM connections?

 > "Why the hell would we want to give up our humanity?" Motoki demanded.
 > "That's even worse enslavement then what's out there?"

    Extraneous "?"

 > "Is it?" Luna asked. "The world is slowly burning. Usagi and the others
 > will destroy it, if not by war, then through their own inattention.
 > Africa is completely uninhabitable by this point. How long before Japan
 > meets the same fate? Can you truly sit by and let the world, let
 > humanity die?"
 >
 > "Excuse me," Umino said. "If I could examine the process? There might
 > be another way."

    I'd hope so.  After all, if the process isn't modified, who would these 
Tekkamen be loyal too?  Luna, Jed, and Setsuna?  Somehow, I don't think so.

 > Luna stared at him for a moment. Umuino had been the top brain at
 > school before Ami had transffered in. It was possible he could do it.

    That's not necessarily saying much, but desperate times...
    They could really use Prof Tomoe, about now.

 > She nodded.
 >
 > ****
 > Several Hours Later . . .
 >
 > "It is possible to become Tekkamen without sacrificing our humanity,"

    "it says so right here in the manual."
    Seriously, wouldn't he need more time than this?

 > Umino said. "But there is a price. The conversion process takes eight
 > days. If the process is inturrupted on day six, we will retain the
 > powers of Tekkamen, with only a ten percent loss."

    Sug:  "If the process is not interrupted before day six, we..."
    OF course, what happens if the process is interrupted *before* day six?

 > "I hear a however," Motoki said.
 >
 > "However," Umino said, pushing his glasses up. "We can only be Tekkamen
 > for thirty minutes at a time. After that, what there is of the
 > conditioning kicks in, and we will become monsters."

    Sug:  "...what remains of...

 > "I know its a lot to ask," Luna said. "But please believe me when I say
 > we would not be doing this if we had any other choice."

    Of course, she better have a plan in place to deal with any of them if 
they end up going over the limit.

 > The three went into a huddle while Luna, Jadeite and Usa exchanged
 > glances.
 >
 > "We're in." Naru asked when their conversation is done. "Tell us what
 > to do."
 >


    Overall:  interesting, but pretty rough.  It could make a decent story, 
with some work.

 > Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is the creation of Nako Takeuchi, Tekkaman is
 > copyrighted by Tatsunoko Productions & Sotsu Agency. No Money is being
 > made from this and no such intent should be inffered.
 >
 > -Steve "Komodo" T.
 > http://livejournal.com/users/pandoras_closet
 > http://aberdawnknights.keenspace.com
 > http://www.fanfiction.net/~pandorascloset
 >
 >
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