At 1:07 PM -0500 14/3/2004, hkmiller wrote:
Angus MacSpon wrote:
What follows ... is a complete episode from the third season of "Queen
Serenity and her Senshi." It's in script format because, well, that
really seemed the most appropriate in this case. And if anything, it's
more horrific than I expected. Or, to put it another way, writing it
was a blast. :)
Reading it was too!
The really wretched thing is ... if this was actually on TV (and I
weren't the writer) ... I might end up watching it. A shameful
admission!
A moment later, with another scream of exhilaration, Princess Kakyu
follows Usagi. She is seven years old, with vivid green hair and a
single odango and long pony-tail at the back of her head.
Another instant, and the two are followed by Prince Elios on a third
hover-board. He is also seven, with bright blond hair in a mullet.
Kakyu and Elios, huh? And in such... interesting... roles.
Heh.
Sailor Jupiter is standing over a hot stove, delicately adding a
pinch of spice to something purple in a pot.
Europan spice slugs?
Nah. They're all more or less warped version of themselves. Jupiter
is an enthusiastic chef, but you don't wanna eat what she cooks. Mercury
is fond of subtle practical jokes. Mars is the rough, uncouth one (and
possibly a lush). And Venus is ... completely cool, stable and competent
at all times (!).
And none of them seem to have "civilian" identities. They're senshi all
the time.
But you know Captain Taiki told us we're not
And the Starlights as officers in Serenity's military. You might
want to describe their uniforms ;)
Well, I did get to that, a little further down. :) Taiki never quite
managed to appear, but I had fun with Yaten and Seiya.
The servant bows and departs. As she reaches the door, it opens and
Captain Yaten enters. The servant bobs her head as he passes. He
is a tall, massively-muscled bald man with a dark scar running down
his face. He wears a heavy leather uniform.
Yaten? The most bishonen of the Starlights has this description?
;) and I think you want... "a heavy leather uniform consisting of
hot-pants and a halter-top."
... So you can see the thick hair on his chest? :)
i think what I did to Seiya was worse, actually.
As she moves off, ZOOM IN on the face of the portrait. We see that
one of Ryoko's eyes has been replaced by a camera that swivels to
follow Sailor Mercury.
But of course...
Natch.
ELIOS AND KAKYU
(together)
STAR TWINS POWER ... MAKE-UP!
32 TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE -- STOCK SHOT
Stock transformation sequence. A vortex of energy surrounds the
two, sweeping them up and merging them together, then fading away to
reveal the slender, androgynous form of Sailor Asteroid.
Gag! This really is HORRIBLE! (congratulations, I suppose, on
capturing the spirit of
American Saturday morning cartoons so precisely).
The spirit of the Wonder Twins was much with me. And I never even *watched*
them in the first place!
mecha standing silently within. Sailor Asteroid runs to the Ceres,
a sleek, electric pink unit. The front plastron slides open as
Asteroid approaches, and s/he climbs in. As the plastron closes
again, Ceres' eyes begin to glow.
SAILOR ASTEROID
CereCere ... launch!
I didn't catch any references to the other four Amazon sisters in
this story; did you
make any?
This was all I managed to work in.
She tip-toes across to the hangar in a very exaggerated I'm-being-
sneaky way. Inside, she heads for the Star Pegasus, a towering,
vaguely horse-shaped mecha.
Of course; what ELSE would Chibi-Usa's private spacecraft look like?
(rolls eyes)
Natch again...
Yes. My computer scans at Rhea Base showed some
kind of negative energy that I've never seen
before. Our enemy may not come from this solar
system ... or even this universe.
(gasps) It must be the Negaverse!
...
Do you know, I wrote this whole thing, churned out all those horrors, and
that never even *occurred* to me? I may have to beat myself over the head
with a baseball bat here.
SHADOW VOICE
Step into my parlour ... said the spider to the
fly.
Overwritten JUST like a Saturday morning cartoon, so that children
won't miss the
reference.
Oh, yes.
And now, Sailor Mercury ... you will give me the
security codes to unlock the ginzuishou ... or I
will destroy the twins before your very eyes.
LOL! "security codes" for the ginzuishou!
Heh. But the way we see Serenity use it later, it *could* be a
computer core or something, in this version ...
One of the bridge bunnies speaks up. She is, of course, young,
cute and perky.
Of course! Can't have our bridge bunnies being anything else, now can we?
Hmm.
Captain Gloval surveyed the bridge of the SDF-1 for the first time. His
crew were not quite what he'd been expecting, somehow. One of them had
a thick beard and must have weighed three hundred pounds. The second was
of regulation weight and appeared fit, but he was wearing only a pair of
tight briefs, and appeared to have oiled the rest of his body. The third
was ... an elderly lady, who appeared to be, yes, knitting.
He glanced over at Lisa Hayes, who had far too innocent a look on her
face. "Is this some kind of subtle revenge for ... well, something?" he
whispered to her.
She raised her eyebrows in a classic who-me expression; but she was
unable to contain the satanic glint in one eye. Gloval suspected that
he was in for a long voyage.
The shadow becomes clear at last. A lean, male face wearing tinted
glasses that reflect the light. He has a sharp beard, and his face
is set in a sadistic smirk.
SHADOW
I am Gendo ... the Death Phantom.
LOL! "The most evil genius in all of anime!"
He seems to get around, hmm?
The Endymion, and the docked vipers, have become a giant humanoid
figure -- yes, a female one -- floating in space.
You know, even after all that you've already had in this episode, I
still wasn't prepared
for this, the giant mecha assembly scene. You stoop so low!
For this series, there is no "too low".
As the glare fades, we catch a brief glimpse of something small and
dark, darting away from the destruction.
Naturally, if this is only episode 5! Gendo can't die until the end
of the season!
And maybe not then! Bwahahaha!
Nice job. Despite its lightness, this obviously took some time and effort
to write. Thanks for writing and sharing (though I'm really looking for the
next chapter of SM4200, natch!)
Well ... I'd been pondering this for a while -- ever since that "Sailor
Asteroid" line worked its way into chapter 10. The chapter almost got
subtitled "The Return of Sailor Asteroid!" but most of the pre-readers
didn't like it. So I did this instead.
In any case ... thanks for the C&C, and I'll keep at chapter 11 ... with
a few less distractions now. :)
Cheers,
Angus