David McMillan wrote:

    Look!  On the FFML!  It's a spam!  No, it's a fic!  No, it's... C&C MAN!

Strange visitor from another system, with powers and abilities
far beyond those of fictional characters...

Okay, I think we've got the idea.  <grin>

    Ooooh, Doug, I *knew* you were buying trouble.  The "fat-bottomed" song 
was bad enough, but screwing with Sylia's mind?  Karma's a bitch, buddy. 
  And I have to say you at least partially deserve this.

And everyone said Doug was getting away with humiliating the Sabers
in the manner of a standard SI.  If it weren't for Lisa shaming them
into it, they wouldn't've lifted a finger to help him after chapters
11 and 12...

 > "So that's it?" she finally said.  Her voice was soft, almost a
 > whisper.  "It's a worthless rock, so you'll leave him to GENOM's
 > tender mercies?"
 >
 > Sylia inclined her head.  "So it would seem."
    Sylia, OTOH, is enjoying this just a *bit* too much.

Sylia has so few pleasures in life; let her enjoy the ones she can.
<grin>

 > "I thought you were heroes!
 > Isn't that what you tried to convince me of when we first met,
 > Nene?"
    That's hitting below the belt, Lisa.  Keep it up.

<chuckle>  One of my prereaders, I think it was, pointed that one of
the core ironies in DW2 is that Nene is a soldier (mercenary) who
thinks of herself as a superhero, while Doug is a superhero who
thinks of himself as a soldier.  This is one of those places where
that particular irony runs very close to the surface.

 > "Oh, water boy..."
 > "Can it."
 >                                * * *
    <snerk>  I love it.  Don't change a word.

I don't plan to.

 >   In the process, all I managed to figure out was
 > that I wasn't in my apartment, nor in my workshop at IDEC,
 > which left me wondering just where the hell I had gone to sleep
 > the night before.
    Daley:  "Good Mooooorning, Doug-chan!  You were wonderful..."

<chortle>  I should have done that as an omake...  Of which I
have a few, btw, which I plan to post by the end of the week.

    Ooooh... I sense Great Revelations in the offing.  Well, there *better* 
be, since this is the last chapter.

<evil grin>

    Geez, *everybody* calls Quincy's wardrobe pimpish.  They're tight, of 
course, but still... how does a man in his position fail to have *any* 
fashion sense?

Now that you've finished reading the chapter, can you answer this for
yourself? <grin>

 > "...the Sinai Peninsula," he finished for me.  "Yes, I remember
 > the nights we spent planning the expansion campaign, but we never
 > had enough free time to run it."
    .....
    <!>
    No.  No, it CAN'T be.

Mwahahaha.

    <boggle>
    "But you can call me Bob."
    Okay, show of hands: who *else* completely failed to see that coming? 
C'mon, don't be shy.

So far, I know for sure of only two people who figured this out
before the chapter came out, and even then neither of them got
the full secret.

    Darn you, Bob, you and all your Arcanum hints, too!

Read further, there's a reason for them.  <grin>

Rule of thumb:  never pay attention to the herrings with the bright
red paint.  <grin>

 > Priss ran her fingers through the girl's golden hair.  "A mouthy
 > asshole who's done a few good things, and who's gotten in a
 > couple hits at GENOM," she said softly.
    "No, wait, that's *me.*"
    C'mon, Priss -- pot, kettle, black much?

No, as someone else pointed out, she's not really insulting him.
It's more a backhanded compliment.

 > "We'll do it," she said quietly, and Sylia's head jerked up.
 > Linna shot a look at Sylia that challenged the Saber leader to
 > contradict her.
    Ohhh, boy.  Linna, the "good soldier," stages a mutiny.  

<nod>  It took me a long, long time to get a handle on Linna's
character, but once I did, it took me here, inevitably.  Linna's
the most "normal" of the four, and as a result, is probably the
one with the closest to balanced sense of right and wrong.  As
the story evolved, she sort of became the Sabers' voice of
conscience.

    Apparently she did.  It's nice to see that Sylia *can* get past her 
personal issues, when pushed.

Mutiny it was, but it did more or less conform to the "all
action as a group" rule.  <grin>  Besides, Sylia had admitted
there was no way she could enforce the Last Rule, not any more.
So when Linna speaks as the Sabers' Conscience, Sylia is forced
to listen.

 > "Tell him '<three alpha blue>'.  That's all, '<three alpha
 > blue>'."
    That little memory trip just keeps coming in handy, don't it?

Yeah.  <grin>  Originally, it was only supposed to provide the
CSNY "Ohio" reference and this bit, but it became too much fun to
play with; of course, something that fun had to have major
drawbacks...

 > "I've piqued your curiosity," he said, still smiling.  "Perhaps
 > the worst torture I could subject you to would be to leave you
 > wondering.  But I won't do that."
    If he did, there'd be a mob marching on his office with pitchforks and 
torches.  But, Bob's office or Quincy's?  Ohh, I got a headache....

Let me give you a hint:  I do not operate out of a plush office
at the top of a conical skyscraper in Japan...

    Always preferred Weird Al's version, myself.
    And now I have an image of Doug's powers running on Weird Al songs. 
The only question is, why didn't I think of it sooner?

He's done it, just not in this story.

    (doing an organ transplant within the runtime of "Like a Surgeon" would 
be difficult even for Doug, though...)

Not to mention dangerous for the patient.

 > His eyes
 > grew soft and distant for a moment.  "Ah, Ursula."
    Bob, you naughty boy!  Does Peggy know about this?

Who, Mrs. Peggy Ursula Viel Schroeck?  I'm sure she has a clue... <grin>

 > "Can we speed this up?  'Skysaber Conquers The World' is on TV
 > tonight, and I don't want to miss it."  
    Hey, Bert!  Your public is STILL waiting.

Nope, not Skyknight, Skysaber.  Jared Ornstead.

 > are at the heart of story, Douglas.  The interests I shared with
    "heart of story"?  Do you mean "heart of THE story"?

Yes, I do.  Good catch.

 > The blue plastic of her disguise creaked as
 > she held out her arms.  Jennifer hesitated a moment, then threw
 > herself into the hug.
    Heh.  They're getting into this mother/daughter thing in a big way, 
already.

<shrug>  They both need each other.

 > "You know," she said almost breathlessly, "I met Grampa
 > Raven, an' I got to talk to Leon, who's gonna be my daddy, an'
 > they warned me 'bout Uncle Mackie, an' of course I know what
 > *they* do, but nobody told me 'bout *you*."
    Gotta be weird, having an adult brain in a child's body like that.

I don't want to get into detail, but I spent a long time thinking
about what might be done to her mind, via brain design, to make
her more "appropriate" to her role.  (I came up with a lot; I
scare myself sometimes.)  Suffice it to say that the childlike
extreme of her behavior is not entirely an act.  There is a part
of her personality which is hardwired to be permanently an
innocent child, to maximize her owner's... experiences, and the
repeatability thereof.  There may not be anything Sylia can do
about that, but as long as any future encounters are consensual,
it shouldn't make any difference.

Jeeze, I went into detail after all, didn't I?  Damn.

    "Warned her" about Uncle Mackie?  Oh, c'mon, Mackie's not THAT big a 
perv.  Wouldn't stop the girls from besmirching his reputation, though...

'Course not.  But it's still good advice, especially in few years
when Sylia gets around to building her a teenaged body.

 > "You're like their librarian?"  The girl's eyes were wide but
 > filled with a knowing playfulness.
    Okay, so it's an act.  But she had her childhood stolen from her -- let 
her get as much back as she can.

There is that, too.  As someone in my discussion forum said, once
there are no automatic bad consequences to being a child, she's
comfortable being a child.

 > behind them into the ready room.  "I also try to get unbiased
 > stories about them into the newspages.  That's harder."
 > "Really?"
 > "You better believe it."
    "For one thing, none of the tabloids are willing to believe that 
"Bubblegum Pink" was a complete fabrication..."

<snort>

 > "Does he, now."
    Under other circumstances, I might mention the missing "?", but I can 
"hear" the effect you're going for, here.

Correct.  A very dry response, not at all a question.

 > The first song I tried started one of the most destructive
 > wildfires seen in Los Angeles County during the entire 20th
 > century.
    Gotta wonder which song.  And if he ever used it again.

The Doors, "Light My Fire".  He tried to start a small campfire
but screwed up.

 > I didn't try to use my metatalent again until I was 24.
    And it sounds like he never told anyone about it.  Not even Maggie?

Nope, not even Maggie.

 > The bastard laughed, actually laughed.  "As ever, the soul of
 > wit.  Borrowed wit, at any rate, but that's how I made you."
    Sorry, Doug, your creator is a geek.  (:)

<grin>

 > Yeah, with all the available timelines spread
 > across the face of the multiverse, just about every throw of the
 > quantum dice should be found, if you searched long enough.  But
 > the odds of me finding this kind of warped image of home?  I
 > couldn't even begin to figure it.
    Yeah, but *is* this just a reflection?  Or *is* there some kind of 
causal relationship?  I bet *that* question is gonna keep Doug up, nights.

He won't get a good answer until Ed Becerra and I complete
Drunkard's Walk 10...

    So now we know the truth.  It was *Mrs* Shroeck who kept Bob from 
embarking on a plan of world domination.  Instead, he writes fiction 
about his various interdimensional alter egos.  (:)

Peggy thanks you for your high estimation of her abilities.
<grin>

 > There.  Again.  Something in the way he had moved.  Familiar.
 > Damnably familiar.  And just beyond my reach.
    <evil smirk>  Try looking in a mirror, Doug?

Bingo.  I said almost the same thing for this line in the
concordance.

    Sudden, ugly thought -- just what *happened* to all of Quincy's old 
school friends and fellow gamers?  The people who might have given the 
lie to his reconstructed history?

Deponent sayeth not.

    Okay.  This has to be THE single most unique root motivation for any 
supervillain I've ever come across.

Thank you.  A resemblance to the motivation of Samuel L. Jackson's
character in "Unbreakable" has been pointed out by two or three
readers, but it's only a resemblance.  "Mr. Glass" was trying to
*prove* that superheroes, however they manifested in the "real"
world, actually existed.  Quincy is trying to make the world
*spawn* superheroes where none previously existed.

    What's truly nervewracking is that I actually find myself sympathizing, 
to a certain extent.

<nod>  Everyone seems to be saying that.  Probably because it's
almost plausible in a seriously twisted way...

    (Un?)Fortunately, I'm too lazy to become a supervillain...

Everyone seems to be saying *that*, too.  <grin>

    So the Arcanum hints weren't just red herrings.

Not entirely, no.  More like roadsigns which had been turned
so they point in the wrong direction.

 > *Who is the more insane?* Madigan wondered silently.  *The
 > Chairman, for his story, or Sangnoir, for apparently believing
 > it?*
    *Or me, for following this fruitcake for so long?*

Chose one from column A, and two from Column B.  <grin>

 > *He's been playing me,* she realized.
 > *I'm just another tool.  Not a valued associate, or even a
 > trusted underling.  A tool!*
    That's gotta hurt.  On the one hand, she shouldn't be surprised.  On 
the other, we all want to think *we're* the special one...

Especially since she's been his designated heir for a while...
but Quincy actually had no intention of letting a little thing
like bodily death stop him...  But that's another story entirely.

 > Arcanum, whom you never truly defeated, only delayed
 > and inconvenienced."  He paused for effect.  "I am observing
 > *his* forms.*
 > This was madness, utter madness.
    Yes... but it's also downright *brilliant,* in a twisty sort of way.

Thank you.  I try.  I've spent six years getting inside Quincy's
head...

    I wonder just how deeply layered his contingency plans *are*?

Not layered enough.  He didn't expect his tools to turn
around and bite him.

 > Oh, he had worked himself up to a right proper lather.  "You are
 > *nothing*!" he actually growled at me.  "You are a fictional
 > construct with which I can do as I *please*!"
    Yep.  He's lost it.

<chuckle>  You know, I'm surprised that no one commented on the
irony in the next line:

 > I snorted at this.  "Hey, buddy, I'm no more fictional than *you*
 > are!"

I mean, there are several levels of joke here...

 > Off to my right, I heard a gasp from Madigan.  Then, in a moment
 > of pregnant calm, the sound of rustling fabric reached my ears.
    Yeah, Kate.  You finally have someone you actually care about in 
Quincy's line of fire.
    Which side *are* you on?

No, as someone else pointed out, Kate doesn't know (yet) that Lisa
is "Sailor (?)oon".  But the mystery senshi is the core around
which her own personal rebirth and growing moral sense are centered,
and a threat to her is a threat to Madigan on several levels.

 > heard her speak, and she had a pleasant, almost musical lilt to
 > her Japanese.  To my surprise I identified it as an Irish accent.
    Gotta wonder what that would sound like.

Good question; I have no idea.

 > The Sabers' leader gave him a little half-smile.  "Not entirely,
 > no.  But if we're wrong, we're at least in the right spot to
 > find out the correct location."
    Careful, Sylia, you're starting to sound like a comic-book superheroine.

Too late -- don't you remember her speech about fighting for love
and justice (or something like that) in "Tinsel City"?

 > laid the magnetic keystick along the edge of his manacles.  Their
 > one moving part clicked and they obediently popped open.
    Wait -- didn't Q say those cuffs had NO electronics?  I could see some 
sort of magnetically-actuated mechanical tumblers, but wouldn't a purely 
mechanical locking system be more Tune-proof?

No electronics, purely mechanical -- a set of pins that are pulled back
by magnets embeddded in the keystick.  Edmund Scientific Corp. used to
sell a padlock of this design.

 > "She bailed on you, dude," I announced, openly laughing at the
 > old man as he gaped at me.  "I think she got a better offer."  I
    Yeah, like her soul back.

I take it you have the Dilbert desk calendar for this year, too,
then?  <grin>

 > I *needed*
 > the node at that moment like I'd never needed it before in all
 > the months I'd been in that damned city.
    Well, except maybe when the kids got killed.  But he didn't really need 
the *node* that night, strictly speaking.

He did not use the node for "Twist of Fate" at all.

 > I concentrated
 > for a moment -- this was a fair bit harder than Hexe made it
 > look...
    She's a goddess.  Of course she makes it look easy.

They're annoying that way.  <grin>

 > I was already dodging left, but my field caught the tip of the
 > cane and forced it violently to the right.  The unexpected
    To *Doug's* right, correct?

Correct.  All this is from his POV.  He went <-- and the cane
went -->.

 > "Will do.  You should have an easier time picking us up; if he
 > *is* using 'Konya wa Hurricane,' Priss estimates that the storm
 > should last no more than four more minutes."
    I didn't think KwH was that long.  But I don't have the soundtrack on 
hand...

Live performance, runs about twice the length of the studio
version.

 > "Not much of a comedian now, are you, boy?" Quincy asked in a
 > low, gravelly tone.  "No quip, no clever quote?  No, I suppose
 > not."
    "Hey, you should hear my internal monologue..."

"You're internally soliliquizing, aren't you?"

Wait, no, Kachiko Tendo isn't here.  <grin>

    For a one-v-one fight, Quincy has to be close to the single most deadly 
opponent Doug's ever faced, just from that level of intel.

 > He had all the aura of a rock.
    Or a hard place.

<rimshot>

    Smackin the badguy with a huge lightning bolt?  Good Idea.
    Using yourself as the conduit?  Bad Idea.
    Doing it with a sucking chest wound?  Really Bad Idea.

Doug's kinda out of options at that point...

    "I am Quincy, the great and terrible.  Er, pay no attention to that man 
behind the comlink..."

Would you believe that in one of the earlier drafts of this scene
I actually used a close variation on that line?

 > "You here to rescue him, or to kill him?" he demanded.
    Whoah.  This one's *fast* on the uptake.  Gutsy, too, considering what 
the KSs usually do to Boomers.

There's a reason Aquarius is the leader...

 > Aquarius smiled.  "Best way I could think of to keep a *real*
 > security team from walking in on us!"
    And now there are pieces of Paradigm Clutch all over Intellection Highway.

<chuckle>

 > rate of its bleeping until he stopped.  "She thinks she will
 > sleep with me and thus gain a part in an upcoming GENOM-backed
 > film.  She is wrong.

    Missing end quote mark.  I've seen it done before, though -- is that 
deliberate?

Yes it is.  It's proper style when a person's dialogue spans a
paragraph break.  You leave off the quote on the end of the
first paragraph and you put one on the beginning of the next.

    It's twitchworthy, watching Doug set himself up as judge, jury, and 
executioner like this.  OTOH, he's right.
    At what point does a person become so dangerous that killing them in 
cold blood constitutes self-defense?

It's an interesting question, and one that I leave no easy
answer for in the story by intention, although Doug certainly
has his own personal justifications.

    I would have expected it to be better protected, but all those 
firewalls Doug jumped over were probably the next best thing to 
impenetrable by any mortal hacker.

Doug is pretty much literally the ghost in the machine here;
there's not much he can't reach.

 > "M-maggie?"
    Ow.  He IS in a bad way.

To use V&V terminology, he's at zero hit points and one power
point, and in about 30 seconds he won't even have that...

 > "Eeeww.  That's just too creepy!" one of the boomers next to me
 > declared.
    Nene.

Bingo.

    Ew. Hope it didn't bring along junk.  That floor is pretty messy.

Nah, the song cleaned it all up.

 > "It's creepy?"  I thought about it.  "I suppose it would be,
 > given how much I lost.  Usually it's not terribly noticeable."
    The fact that he *knows* this is mildly creepy.

Fifteen+ years of experience with the song...

 > "What for you say you boomer when you got little pink armor like
 > Saber, Saber?" I said in my best Tasmanian Devil voice.  Which
 > was helped considerably by how raspy my voice still was at that
 > point.
    Recognized her just by speech patterns, huh?

Why not?  *You* just did.  <grin>

 > "Huh?"  Behind my goggles, I frowned.  "How...?*  Then it hit me.
 > "You're the survivors!"
    Mismatched "* around the 'how'

<nod>  I'll fix.

 > Ignoring her, I looked down at the four bodyguards and murmured,
 > "Go thou, and sin no more."
    And you accused *Quincy* of having delusions of godhood?  Bad Doug!  No 
eucharist!

Well, he is 3/4 French Catholic...  (his maternal grandmother
was a German Jew, though...  makes for an interesting mix.)

 >     "<I don't care if you're a champion,>"
 >     "<No one messes with me.
 >       I am ruthless in upholding
 >       What I know is right,
 >       Black or white,
 >       As you'll see.>"
    Reference, please!

"The Arbiter's Song" from the musical "Chess."  This is listed
in the credits for the story (the long part after "Fin" at the
end).

 > (Continued in Part 2)
    Yiii... C&C power... fading.  Must... keep... going.....

Thanks for all this effort!  Can't wait to see what you have
to say for the rest.

-- Bob

===============================================================================
Robert M. Schroeck          rms@eclipse.net         http://www.eclipse.net/~rms
===============================================================================
Please to remember
Eleven September --
Hijack, destruction and plot.
Our outraged reaction
To terrorist action
Should never be forgot.
===============================================================================

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