Thanks to all my prereaders.... I'm not in the best of moods right now,
and this has been sitting around long enough, so I'm just going to post
it now. Enjoy.


SO FAR: The demon that took Ranma's form and kidnapped Kodachi Kuno was
not an isolated incident - it returned the next night and snatched Ukyo
away, countering everything that Ranma tried to stop it. While he tries
to figure out what the demon's intentions are, Ranma is confused by his
own behavior in recent days, as he seems to be thinking things through
in uncharacteristic fashion. He's not the only one acting strangely -
Ryoga managed to secure a date with Akane, which Ranma and Kuno
interfered in, and when Ranma asked Ryoga to keep Akane safe from the
demon, the two of them ended up unclothed in Akane's room - or so Ranma
thinks.

Ranma 1/2: A Deadly Choice
Chapter 9: Razor, the Amazing Backwards Boy

    A dark shadow moved across the room, waking Akane from an unusually
light slumber. She threw off the blanket and leapt out of her bed,
swinging a fist at the intruder.
    "Ow!" screamed Ranma as he took the blow on the side of his head.
"Akane, what's the big idea?"
    "What's the big idea of YOU sneaking into my room at night?" she
shot back.
    "You should talk," said Ranma. "You've been sneaking around with
Ryoga all this time, haven't you?"
    "No, I haven't! Ryoga left a long time ago!"
    Ranma shrugged. "It doesn't look that way to me. As far as I know,
you and Ryoga have been making out every night and going out on dates
every day. You should think about things from my point of view."
    "You're acting weird again, Ranma," Akane said carefully as she
backed away from him. "What's wrong with you?"
    "You're distancing yourself from me, Akane," said Ranma. "I want to
be closer to you."
    He stepped forward, and Akane found herself unable to move. The
power of his voice seemed to paralyze her legs. "What are you doing to
me?" she asked, panic creeping into her voice.
    "I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago," replied Ranma.
"I'm making the choice a little bit easier."
    "What choice?" she asked as he reached for her arm. She quickly
pulled it out of reach, but Ranma's hand continued to move forward like
a pair of lazy tongs - only instead of a pair of jointed extensions, his
arm was a writhing cloud of black mist. The cold fingers clamped around
her wrist while the mist ran across the floor and swirled around her
legs, wrapping them like a human burrito.
    "You're mine now, Akane. You'll always be mine from now on," he
whispered softly. "The demon's come for you. Wake up."
    "NO!" she screamed, swinging her free arm at his head. Once again,
it connected, and she fell off her bed and landed on the floor, her legs
tangled in the blanket. She quickly pulled her arm up to her face and
bit the hand that was holding her wrist, taking satisfaction at Ranma's
scream.
    "Ow! Geez, what's the big idea?" asked Ranma as he pulled his arm
back, rubbing his hand.
    Akane rubbed her eyes and shook her head. It had all been a dream! A
weird dream, to say the least, but.... She quickly kicked the blanket
away and climbed back onto the bed. "Stay back!" she warned him. "I'll
scream and wake everybody up!"
    "What's with you tonight? You're acting just like -" Ranma choked
back Ukyo's name and voiced the idea that had just formed. "Let me
guess. A demon that looked just like me broke in and attacked you,
right?" He glanced down at P-chan, who shook his head in denial from
Akane's pillow.
    Akane, on the other hand, gaped in amazement. "I just dreamed that!
But how did you know?"
    Ranma took a deep breath. "It may have been just a dream, but the
demon is real. I just saw it."
    "You saw it?" repeated Akane. "Where?"
    "At Ucchan's new restaurant," he replied. "It... it got her."
    Akane gasped. "Then it's still in Nerima?"
    Ranma nodded. "Yeah, and I think it's going to come after you next."
    "After me?" Akane found herself short of breath. She didn't spook
easily, but after waking up from that nightmare, the sensation of being
caught in that black mist was very real and very terrifying.
    Before she could collect her thoughts, Ranma continued. "I don't
think it will come back tonight, but if it does, I'll hold it off so you
can get away. Don't try to fight it, and don't worry about me. That was
Ukyo's mistake."
    "What are you going to do?" asked Akane.
    "I don't know," replied Ranma. "I tried to fight it, and I lost. I
thought I'd beaten it, but it was just playing dead. I'm not going to
fall for that one again... but it survived a Hiryu Shoten Ha, and
everything else I tried, it just countered. I don't know if there's a
way to beat it."
    "Then I'm not going to -"
    "You'll go!" snapped Ranma. "It's not after me, it's after you. If
you try to fight it, you'll just be giving it what it wants. Get the
hell out of here and don't tell me where you go, got it?"
    Akane gave up trying to argue and simply nodded. When the time came,
she'd decide for herself whether Ranma was right about the demon being
unbeatable. "What if it doesn't show up tonight?"
    "Then we go back to Gosunkugi's tomorrow and tell him what we've
learned. If there's a way to beat the demon, he'll know what it is."
    "Then at least we have a plan," said Akane, feeling much relieved.
"That's the first step."
    Ranma's spine stiffened at the sound of those words, but he quickly
dismissed the sensation. There was too much weirdness to worry about one
idle comment. "You ARE still Akane, aren't you?"
    Akane glared at him. "Of course I am! Are you still Ranma?"
    He stuck out his tongue. "You tell me, uncute tomboy."
    She pounded him on the chin, giving his tongue a set of bite marks
to match the ones on his fingers, then stormed over to the closet,
grabbed a dress, and stomped out of the room without a word.
    "Thtill uncute," Ranma decided. But he'd felt a certain liberation
from insulting her - a sense that, for the first time in days, he was
doing what he was supposed to be doing. And that, more than any of his
other strange actions, worried him greatly.
*************************************************
    Hikaru Gosunkugi crept down the staircase as he did every morning,
rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he went. Morning always came far
too soon, mere hours after the sun had begun to rise - and what would be
the point of falling asleep before then and wasting the beautiful night
hours? The greatest voodoo could only be performed when the sun god was
watching the other side of the Earth, and the benevolent moon god was
casting his light on Japan. More moonlight meant more power, and more
power obviously meant more chance that today would be the day Akane
would finally realize her love for him. And so, he'd been up all night,
working under the almost full moon to perfect the last details on the
Akane doll. Whatever had gone wrong last time wouldn't happen again; he
was sure of that.
    Today's problem was something totally different. He couldn't find
the pin.
    He'd combed every inch of his floor with a powerful magnet, pulling
out enough flooring tacks that the carpet was beginning to curl in
places, but there was no sign of the pin. It hadn't ended up in his
clothing, nor was it between the pages of any of the books he'd had open
the day before. And there was no chance of finding a replacement on
short notice - he'd soaked the original in some of Akane's sweat, but
hadn't thought to keep a vial handy in case of such an emergency.
Substitutions would not be accepted! The perfect doll required the
perfect pin.
    He squeezed the doll helplessly. "Dammit, where is that stupid pin?"
he growled. "Akane's going to be here any second!"
    And at that very moment, with impeccable timing, the doorbell rang.
    Gosunkugi sighed his defeat. The plan would have to wait another
day. He pulled the mask down from the wall, stuffed the doll into the
cavity behind it, and hung it back in its place. "Who's there?" he
called out unnecessarily.
    "It's Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome," Akane's sweet voice replied.
"We're here to talk to you about that mogui we mentioned yesterday."
    Gosunkugi opened the door and waved them inside. "The what now?"
    "The demon," replied Akane as she crossed the threshold. "You called
it a mogui, didn't you?"
    Gosunkugi nodded slowly. "Yes, I did... but you weren't there, if I
recall correctly."
    Ranma's face screwed up in concentration. "Yeah, that's right...
Kuno and I came back later while you were making that date with Ryoga."
    "And how did you know about THAT?" Akane asked suspiciously.
    "We met you there," Ranma replied smoothly. "Or have you forgotten?"
    "I still don't think that was a coincidence," continued Akane, her
temper rising.
    "Well, you obviously made your date first," countered Ranma.
    "But that doesn't give you the right to interrupt it!"
    "What gave you the right to make it in the first place?"
    "Please, please!" interjected Gosunkugi, stepping between the two
before their argument could escalate out of control. "We're here to talk
about the demon, remember?"
    "Right," Akane quickly agreed, glad for the distraction. "We think
we've figured out what the demon's pattern is."
    "It has a pattern?" repeated Gosunkugi. "So, it's kidnapped someone
else...."
    "Ukyo," said Ranma.
    "The okonomiyaki girl?" Gosunkugi moaned. "That was one of the few
places I could afford to eat!"
    "This is more important than okonomiyaki," said Ranma.
    "Right, right," said Gosunkugi, clearing his throat. "Seriously,
this means we don't have long to act. I suspect this rate of kidnappings
will continue... demons are generally pretty punctual."
    "So, the next kidnapping will be tonight," Akane expounded. "And if
our hunch is right, it's me the demon will be coming for."
    Gosunkugi's face went pale. "Y-you? Akane Tendo?" He whirled around
and pointed determinedly toward his study. "Then we haven't a moment to
lose! Let's figure out a way to stop this demon!"
    Ranma hung back to talk to Akane while Gosunkugi went on ahead. "Is
it just me, or did he totally change his tune just then?"
    "I had a feeling he'd be a bit more motivated if I mentioned that I
was the next victim," said Akane.
    Ranma stared at her quizzically. "How come?"
    "Oh, come on, Ranma! Haven't you ever noticed the way he's always
staring at me and taking my picture? The poor boy obviously has a crush
on me!"
    "Well, yeah, but I never expected you to notice it!"
    "The signs are painfully clear," said Akane. "I'm just surprised I
never figured it out before."
    "You're not the only one who's surprised," Ranma muttered under his
breath.
    They entered the study to find Gosunkugi knee-deep in a pile of
books, flipping through the pages of a particularly thick tome. "There
was something in here about dealing with a demon. Some kind of five-step
approach...."
    "What's with all the books?" asked Ranma. "Wasn't there one that
told you all about the mobli?"
    "Mogui," Gosunkugi corrected him. "And that book merely had a brief
description of the demon. For in-depth analysis and strategies for
dealing with particular demons, we need more specific books.
Fortunately, I inherited this library from my father, which as it
happens, was the reason I got into voodoo in the first -"
    "Yeah, great," Ranma cut him off. "So, what's the book say to do?"
    "Would you let me finish answering one question before asking
another?" snapped Gosunkugi.
    "I don't need your life story," said Ranma, dismissing Gosunkugi's
tirade. "I just want to know how to beat the demon."
    Gosunkugi cleared his throat. "Yes, well, as I was about to say
before you interrupted, there's a five-step approach detailed in
'Defeating Demons: The Five-Step Approach'."
    "Clever."
    "Let me guess," said Akane. "The first step is to identify the
demon, right?"
    "Right," agreed Gosunkugi. "We've done that. So we move on to the
second step."
    "Determine the demon's weakness?" Akane guessed.
    Ranma sighed. "What's next? Defeat the demon using that weakness,
then go out and celebrate until the next demon shows up so you're back
to step one?"
    "This is a highly researched and tested process," Gosunkugi informed
him. "Actually, determining the demon's weakness is the fourth step.
Before that, we need to find a way to protect ourselves, and then a way
to keep the demon from what it wants."
    "Fat chance of that," scoffed Ranma. "It's got all the martial arts
skill I have, and then some." It hurt to admit it, but even he couldn't
catch and return projectiles as efficiently as the demon could. And that
trick with the Moko Takabisha... was there a human alive who could
manipulate energy that way?
    Gosunkugi broke into his train of thought. "Then you'll just have to
find another way to beat it that doesn't involve fighting."
    Ranma blinked. "There's another way?"
    "He means we have to come up with a plan," Akane informed him.
    "Wasn't that what we were doing in the first place?"
    Akane rolled her eyes as if Ranma were missing something obvious.
"We are coming up with a plan! These steps are just a way of dividing
the task into smaller steps that are easier to plan!"
    Gosunkugi nodded. "That's very insightful, Akane."
    Akane blushed despite herself. "Why, thank you, Hikaru."
    Gosunkugi seemed to deflate at the sound of Akane's praise. He
sagged onto the pile of books and twitched, gibbering quietly.
    "Hikaru!" gasped Akane. "What's wrong?"
    Ranma bent down and poked Gosunkugi carefully. "I think you broke
him."
    "I'm not broken!" asserted Gosunkugi as he straightened up, standing
just a bit taller than before. "I was just taking some time to think
about the remaining aspects of the plan. Now, what the demon wants is
Akane, so steps two and three are one and the same. That's why I've been
reading this book, 'The Ways of the Mogui', searching for ways to ward
off the demon."
    "And what did you find?" asked Ranma.
    "Just this." Gosunkugi flipped back a few pages and read the
appropriate line. "'Once summoned, the mogui is single-minded and
focused entirely on its purpose. Nothing will impede it from reaching
its goal.'"
    "Why do they even bother to write entire books when there's always
one sentence that summarizes everything?" asked Ranma.
    Akane ignored him. "So, what you're saying is that there's no way to
stop it?"
    "That's what the book says," replied Gosunkugi.
    "But what happens if the demon's purpose is negated?" asked Akane.
"What would it do then?"
    "Let me see," said Gosunkugi, flipping through the pages. "I can't
say for sure at this point, but since the demon exists solely to
complete its purpose, I would guess that without a purpose, the demon
would cease to exist."
    Ranma glared at Akane. "So how would we do that? Hide you someplace
where the demon can't find you?"
    "It will find her wherever she goes," said Gosunkugi. "As long as
Akane's alive, the demon will hunt her down."
    Ranma paled. "You don't mean...."
    "What if we figure out who summoned the demon and find out what they
want me for?" Akane suggested. "If we can find some other way to give
them what they want, then they won't need me anymore, and the demon will
disappear!"
    Gosunkugi snapped his fingers. "Excellent thinking, Akane!"
    "Hey, good point," agreed Ranma. "If that's the case...."
    "You have an idea?" asked Gosunkugi.
    Ranma smiled slyly. "We don't have to worry about Akane, because no
one in their right mind would want to kidnap her!"
    Akane brought a fist down on his head. "Of course they want to
kidnap me, you jerk! They're kidnapping girls who want to marry you!"
    "Then... you...?" Gosunkugi stammered.
    Akane instantly blushed. "No, I didn't mean it like that!"
    Ranma shrugged. "Well, if you're not interested in me anymore, then
you're probably safe."
    Akane raised her fist again, threateningly. "Just give me a reason
to smack you again!"
    "You need a reason?" asked Ranma.
    That proved to suffice.
    "Ranma does bring up a good point, though," Gosunkugi mentioned.
"We're jumping to a conclusion based on two data points. There might be
something else that links Kodachi to Ukyo that we haven't considered."
    Ranma pictured the two girls in his mind, side by side. "Nope. Just
wanting me."
    "Well, that girl Shampoo who always breaks into the classroom also
seems to like Ranma," Gosunkugi put in. "Has anyone considered that she
might be a potential victim?"
    "Hey, yeah!" said Ranma. "She hangs on me as much as both of the
other two put together!"
    Akane hummed thoughtfully to herself.
    "What are you thinking about, Akane?" asked Gosunkugi.
    "Ukyo and I suspected Shampoo from the beginning," she replied. "And
it wouldn't be entirely unlike her to do something to take the rest of
us out of the running."
    "So it's not just kidnapping Ranma's suitors, but the girls Shampoo
considers to be competition," said Gosunkugi.
    "Assuming Akane's right about Shampoo being responsible for it,"
added Ranma.
    "You'd believe her over me?" asked Akane.
    "We haven't ASKED her yet," Ranma pointed out. "I don't want to go
accusing someone until we have the full story."
    "You don't honestly think Shampoo would tell us if she'd summoned a
demon, do you?"
    Ranma shrugged. "No way to know unless we ask."
    Akane threw up her hands in defeat. "Fine! Let's go ask her then!
We'll just tell her we know what's going on and give away our element of
surprise!"
    "We don't HAVE an element of surprise," Ranma corrected her. "By
now, if she's controlling the demon, she knows that we know. If
anything, she's expecting us."
    "And you're going to go?"
    Ranma adjusted his collar. "I hate to disappoint."
    "You must hate it pretty often," Akane retorted.
    Ranma nodded his satisfaction. "Glad to hear you agree. So, let's go
already!" He grabbed Akane's shirt sleeve and dragged her out of the
room.
    "Hikaru, call me if you find out anything else!" Akane shouted back
over her shoulder.
    Gosunkugi could hardly breathe. "C-c-c-call? Did Akane just ask me
to call her? At her house? On her phone? For a date?" He didn't even
notice how nervous he was until he heard the crunch of the hardcover
book crumpling in his hands. "Oh, drat. I don't think that's got a
warranty."
*************************************************
    It didn't take Ranma and Akane long to reach their destination,
because she met them halfway, sitting patiently on a chain-link fence
beside the road. "Nihao, Ranma! Nihao, Ranma shadow!"
    Akane snarled. "Shampoo... just the person we wanted to see!"
    "You looking Shampoo? Great-grandmother be happy. She thought you
going to visit her instead." She gasped, covering her mouth delicately
as if to hold the errant words in.
    "Aha!" shouted Ranma. "So it IS -"
    "Can it, Shampoo," snapped Akane, cutting him off before he could
finish his declaration. "We're not falling for your stupid trick."
    Shampoo spread her arms innocently. "What trick?"
    Akane's eyes narrowed. "You know exactly what's going on, and you
WANT us to go talk to your great-grandmother."
    "She does?" asked Ranma.
    "I do?" asked Shampoo.
    Akane groaned. "Of COURSE you do. It's written all over your face!"
    "Ack!" Shampoo gasped, rubbing her cheeks with her hands. "Shampoo
wash! Shampoo wash!"
    "Pffft," Akane snorted. "How could someone that stupid expect to
fool us?"
    Shampoo hopped off the fence and brandished her bonbori. "You want
come here say that?"
    Ranma stepped in front of Akane before the girls could start a
fight. "Shampoo, we're not here to fight. We just need some answers."
    Shampoo smiled brightly. "Okay! Shampoo answer only for Ranma!"
    Ranma noticed Akane's fists clenching and decided to put his
diplomacy skills to the test. "What do you know about the demon that
looks like me?"
    The question seemed to confuse Shampoo. "Demon not look like Ranma!"
    "Then you DO know about a demon!" cried Akane.
    Shampoo crossed her arms and refused to speak.
    Ranma sighed. "Shampoo, the demon already kidnapped Ukyo and
Kodachi. We have to find it and get them back."
    Shampoo's eyes widened in surprise. "That no is possible! Demon only
supposed to kidnap airen!"
    It was Ranma's turn to be shocked. "Kidnap me? What are you talking
about?"
    This time, Shampoo's startled gasp was legitimate, as she realized
her unintentional slip.
    "There's something you're not telling me, Shampoo, and I want to
know what it is!" shouted Ranma. "What are you doing to me, and where
are the other girls?"
    "Shampoo not know! No more questions!" With that, Shampoo leapt onto
the fence and then to the top of the nearest building.
    "Hey! I'm not done with you yet!" shouted Ranma as he chased after
her.
    "Wait! Ranma!" Akane called after him, but he was too fixated on his
quarry to hear her. "Man!" she groaned. "There's no way I can keep up
with them on the rooftops!" She considered her situation carefully and
quickly realized that there were only two places they could be going,
and that one of them was far more likely than the other. She decided on
the fastest route and set off toward the probable rendezvous.
*************************************************
    Ranma lost sight of Shampoo for a split second when she jumped back
down to the ground between a pair of buildings, but it would take more
than that to throw him off the trail. He followed her in short order,
curling into a ball as he landed to slip under the knife that flew at
his head from behind. He stood up facing the other direction and
addressed his hidden assailant. "What the heck did you do that for,
Mou-?" He quickly broke off as he realized that the man he was speaking
to wasn't Mousse. He wore a robe in the same style, suggesting that he,
too, was a master of the Art of Hidden Weapons, but for some reason, he
had it on backwards. His hair was bright orange and stood in a bun atop
his head, secured by a knife in whose handle was set a large ruby with
more facets than Ranma could count. As Ranma stared into his eyes,
trying to size his new opponent up quickly, he noticed an even stranger
characteristic of the man - his eyes were discolored, each one an ink
black pool surrounding the green iris, with a tiny white pupil in the
center. But the greatest oddity wouldn't be revealed until he answered
Ranma's automatic question. "Who the heck are you?"
    The man inhaled deeply with an air of impatience. "Myself again
introducing must I? Of knives master, Razor being I!"
    It took Ranma a few seconds to parse the pair of sentences. "Are
you... talking backwards?"
    Razor shook his head vigorously. "Of course. You how much being
stupid?"
    "Was that an insult from the amazing backwards boy?" taunted Ranma.
    Razor's face paled as he gritted his teeth angrily. "Your tongue
minding should you." His fingers twitched, and in an instant, he was
holding a pair of throwing knives by their blades.
    Ranma smirked. "Better watch it. You don't want to throw those the
wrong way."
    "Of you, concern not being my knives to where throwing I!" Razor
shouted, swinging his arm and throwing both knives at once.
    Ranma barely had to twist aside to let both of them pass to opposite
sides of his body. "You throw about as well as you talk, 'of knives
master'," he taunted.
    Razor frowned. "For my speech complimenting, you thanking I."
    Before Ranma could even begin to wonder what part of his insult
Razor was taking as a compliment, he felt the tiny wires rub against his
shoulders and quickly raised his arms, but it was too late. The momentum
of the knives whirling around him at lightning speed pulled the wires
through a double spiral, wrapping him up from neck to waist and pinning
his arms to his sides. As the knives finished their final circuit, Razor
hurled a third blade at Ranma's midsection, binding his legs with
another wire.
    Even with his natural sense of balance, it took everything Ranma had
to stay on his feet as he strained against his bonds. The razor-thin
wires quickly tore through his shirt and skin, drawing bleeding lines ar
ound his arms and torso, but didn't break despite the incredible force
he was applying.
    Razor clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "Too late being it but, you
to not fighting warning would have I. Through your blood now flowing my
wires coating poison."
    Ranma didn't even need to understand that sentence to realize that
he was in a very bad position. "Poison?"
    "Not worrying should you," Razor said with a reassuring nod. "To
sleep putting you, your energy draining poison only being it."
    "That's still cheap!" Ranma protested, continuing to push against
the wires with all his fading might. "Can't you fight fair?"
    "Can," replied Razor. "But that today not being intention."
    "That sounded almost forwards," Ranma noted idly, as he felt the
poison begin to take effect. His muscles relaxed, and he fell forward,
landing flat on his face in front of Razor. "Man, this stuff ish quack."
    "Indeed," agreed Razor. He quickly slipped the flat of a knife blade
into the back of Ranma's collar and flipped the helpless boy onto his
shoulder.
    "Wht yu plning do?" asked Ranma, barely able to move his lips
anymore.
    "You to Cologne taking will I," replied Razor. "With you speaking
wanting she."
    "Hold it right there!" shouted Akane's voice from the mouth of the
alley. "Put him down or there's going to be trouble!"
    Razor inhaled sharply. "If from here now not leaving you, indeed
being will trouble."
    Akane quickly shook her head. "With your backwards talking, me
confusing not can you!"
    Razor blinked in confusion. "WHAT?"
    "Kane, stbk," Ranma did his best to shout. "Pzn... wire...."
    "What was that?" asked Akane. "Poison something?"
    "Ha!" Razor laughed. "On stupid girl precious poison wire wasting as
if would I!"
    "Poison wire, eh? So, that's what Ranma was trying to warn me
about!" She took a battle stance. "If you want to take Ranma anywhere,
you'll have to beat me first!"
    "Easy!" returned Razor. He reached into his sleeve and threw a knife
at Akane, handle-first, in a single quick motion. Akane caught the knife
by the handle and swung her arm, sending the knife right back at Razor.
However, her aim was wide, and the blade flew right past his shoulder,
just scraping Ranma's back. "Ha! Me missing did you!"
    Akane charged forward to attack at close range, but while Razor drew
a pair of knives to defend himself with, Akane slid between his legs and
rolled to her feet just behind him. Razor spun around to face her, but
Akane quickly whipped the length of wire she'd grabbed at him, slashing
a cut across his upper arm. Ranma tumbled to the ground, the rest of the
wires that bound him falling off on the way down.
    Razor shrieked and quickly reached into his sleeve, withdrawing a
small vial of green liquid. He pried the cork out with the blade of a
knife, but before he could drink it, Akane snatched it from his hand and
poured its contents into Ranma's mouth. "Drink this, Ranma! It's the
antidote to the poison!"
    Ranma weakly swallowed the antidote. "Oh, yeah. That feels pretty
good."
    Akane turned around and glared at Razor, who was already on his
knees. "I hope you've got an extra dose in that robe. Looks like I used
it all up on Ranma."
    Razor reached up his sleeve and fished another vial out, but his
hands were shaking too much to open it. He set the vial on the ground
before it could fall and break, then collapsed beside it. "Help...."  he
whispered.
    "First, tell me what you wanted with Ranma," Akane ordered him.
    Before Razor could refuse to respond, Shampoo leapt from the roof
above, kicking Akane's unguarded chest. Akane stumbled, giving the
Amazon girl a chance to scoop up the vial, pry out the cork, and lower
it to Razor's lips. "Spit, Razor! Spit out!"
    Razor obligingly swallowed the liquid in one gulp. "You thanking I,
Shampoo."
    Satisfied that Razor was in no danger from the poison, Shampoo stood
up and whirled to face Akane, her hands clenched into barely restrained
fists. "What you doing here? You mess up plan again!"
    Akane got to her feet as well. "Of course I'm going to interfere
with any plan that involves Ranma!"
    "Except arranged marriages," Ranma mumbled.
    "Is no problem," said Shampoo. "We just take you with Ranma again
like last time."
    "That doing I than easier being that saying you," moaned Razor.
    "Okay, I have to know," said Akane. "WHY does he talk like that?"
    Shampoo fretted. "Is ancient Amazon curse. He broke tribe law, so
they force him to eat magic mushroom what make him do everything
backwards. Now he have magic knife what break curse, but it broken. It
only break curse on knife, not on person. So things with knife, he do
forward, but everything else backward."
    Akane nodded wistfully. "That makes sense. So he MEANT to throw that
knife at me backwards."
    Shampoo nodded in agreement. "We no is here to kill you. That have
no honor no more."
    Akane kept nodding, but her eyes darted down to the ruby-handled
knife protruding from Razor's hair. That had to be the curse-breaking
knife that allowed him to wield knives properly, if what Shampoo said
was true. So if he didn't have it.... "Then what DO you plan to do with
me and Ranma?" she asked.
    "With you, nothing. You just witness. But Ranma - AIYA!" screamed
Shampoo, diving in front of Akane as Akane dove for Razor's head. She
brought her knee down on Akane's forearm, halting her hand inches from
the handle of the knife. "You no can touch that! It kill you!"
    Akane quickly jerked her hand back. "What? Are you serious?"
    Shampoo nodded solemnly. "Is swear. Knife break curse of one what
touches it, but if you no have curse, curse of LIFE be extinguish."
    "That's completely ridiculous," scoffed Akane.
    "If you no believe, then touch," offered Shampoo. "But when you
dead, no say Shampoo not warn you."
    "Fine!" said Akane. She backed away from the Amazon pair and pulled
Ranma up into a sitting position. "Ranma, wake up! You've got to grab
Razor's knife! Without it, he can't fight!"
    Shampoo quickly grabbed Razor and started to shake him. "Fall
asleep, stupid! You want let Ranma beat you?"
    "Hey, I'M the one who poisoned him!" Akane shouted.
    "You fight all Ranma battles for him?"
    "Do you make Razor fight all of yours for you?" Akane retorted.
    Shampoo abruptly let go of Razor and stood up. "That one challenge!
Shampoo no care honor no more! I kill you!"
    "So, it's true," Akane said with just a touch of disdain. "You use
violence to solve all of your problems."
    Shampoo sneered angrily and stamped a foot in disgust. "You do too,"
she said sourly.
    "I do not!" shouted Akane. She smacked Ranma's face several times.
"Wake up already!"
    "Cut it out, Gorilla Girl," mumbled Ranma.
    Akane barely managed to restrain herself from knocking him back into
unconsciousness.
    "You like rude Ranma?" Shampoo asked casually. "You let us take him,
we make him no more rude."
    "Make him...?" Akane gasped. "So you ARE the one who's been messing
with Ranma's mind!"
    "You no like? Maybe is because Ranma not want too, too violent girl
anymore."
    "What are you talking about?" Akane asked, more flustered than
before. "What exactly are you doing to Ranma, and what does it have to
do with me?"
    Shampoo smiled slyly. "You find out. Then we have to erase your
memory again."
    "That's what you think," groaned Ranma. He sat up at last. "Nobody's
erasing my memory!"
    "We see about that!" returned Shampoo. She pulled Razor to his feet
and pushed him forward. "Use poison again! Make them both sleep!"
    Razor nodded. "Dangerous too much being it. Antidote no more having
I." A pair of knives appeared in his hands as if by magic. "Instead,
fighting must we."
    "Not a good idea," said Ranma as he stood up. "I've got this thing
about dirty tricks... when people use them on me, I get really pissed
off. And you don't want to fight me when I'm pissed off."
    "Of wanting matter not being this," replied Razor. "Orders being
this."
    "What are your orders?" asked Akane. "Just to bring us to Cologne?"
    Razor shook his head. "Indeed."
    Akane shrugged. "Well, in that case -" She winced and rubbed her
temple. "Ow!"
    "What's wrong?" asked Ranma.
    "I don't know. It feels like a headache I didn't know was gone has
just come back."
    Ranma quickly gave up trying to understand what she was talking
about. "Are you gonna be okay?"
    "I think so," replied Akane. "It didn't hurt. It was just a shock."
    "So, what were you about to say?"
    She shook her head. "I can't remember. I feel really weird."
    Shampoo fumed. "Forget what stupid girl want say! We supposed to
fight now!"
    The tension loomed like a physical presence as Shampoo and Razor
readied their weapons, while Akane prepared to meet their charge
head-on. Everyone waited for Ranma to take his stance, as once all four
of them were ready, the great battle would begin.
    Ranma held up a hand. "No, Shampoo. I think I know what Akane was
going to say. We don't have to fight."
    The bonbori lowered. "We don't?"
    "Cologne obviously wants something from us, and we've got a few
questions for her as well. So why don't we all just go together? No
fighting, no sleep poison, no tricks."
    Shampoo blinked in surprise. "Go together? No fighting?"
    Razor gave it a bit of thought and stowed his knives. "Good to me
sounding that idea."
    Shampoo turned to stare at him, then at Ranma, and finally at Akane,
who seemed confused but willing to go along with Ranma's idea. "We no
fight?"
    "A little slow on the uptake today?" teased Ranma. "We're all going
to the same place, so why make a big deal out of it?"
    Shampoo seemed to be on the verge of arguing, but realization dawned
almost immediately. "Oh, right! We no fight!" She clapped and leapt
forward to wrap her arm around Ranma's elbow. "We go together now, yes?"
    Akane snapped out of her dazed trance and quickly claimed Ranma's
other arm. "We're ALL going."
    Shampoo sighed. "Yes, you come too. Razor, stay behind."
    Razor dutifully turned around and led the way out of the alley.
    "He doesn't walk backwards," Ranma noted.
    "He not have eyes in back of head," replied Shampoo.
    Akane, meanwhile, had other things to worry about. "What was that
feeling just now?" she wondered. "And why do I suddenly feel so...
stupid?" She felt sick to her stomach at the thought... or had Razor's
poison affected her as well? But she didn't feel sleepy... which meant
that there was something else wrong with her. She wouldn't jeopardize
the situation by mentioning it, but once they'd figured out what Cologne
and her employees were up to, she'd get to the bottom of whatever it
was. There was too much going on in her life lately to allow any more
strangeness to creep in.
*************************************************
    "I give up," announced Gosunkugi as he took the mask down from the
wall. "That pin's just gone." He pulled the doll out of its hiding place
and stared dumbly at it. There, sticking out of the doll's forehead, was
the white-headed pin. He blinked at it as if that would make the
offending object disappear. "Well, that explains why Akane suddenly
became so intelligent. I guess the pin got lodged in the mask last time
I hid the doll in it." He sighed in relief and pulled the pin out.
"Well, no harm done, I suppose. I don't think she suspected anything."
    A hand plucked the doll from his fingers. "So, you play with dolls?"
asked a deep voice.
    Gosunkugi shrieked and pressed his back to the wall, trying to
shrink away from the menacing figure.
    His assailant looked down at the doll, then held it up to
Gosunkugi's face. "Tell me where she is."
    "Why do you want to know -?"
    "Just tell me!" Thick fingers gouged into the doll's stomach.
    "Don't do that!" shouted Gosunkugi. "You'll hurt her!"
    "It's just a doll!" snapped the other. "If it means that much to
you, tell me where she is!"
    "She's at the Cat Cafe!" Gosunkugi shouted, grabbing the doll back
from its captor before it could be permanently damaged. "But it won't do
you any good to know," he continued confidently.
    "We'll see about that." The figure swept out of the house, slamming
the door behind itself.

-------------------------------------------------------------

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