Ranma was born during one of the worst storms in recorded

history and when Ranma was taken from his mother and

place in the daycare for infants while the mothers rested something

strange happened the lights blinked and flickered for several

minutes and flashes of a tall, muscular man could be seen.

The man was a member of the grammar police come to arrest the author on
numerous violations he was found guilty of writing run-on sentences and
ignoring the finer points of punctuation he was sentenced to star in
self-insert Oscar lemons until the end of the millenium.

He walked over to baby Ranma�s crib and look him deep in the eye.

For this was, unbeknownst to the baby Ranma, a Futurama fusion, and Ranma
would be playing the part of Leela...

�Yes little one you will receive my gift.� Just then a huge lightening

slam into a
tree just outside the hospital revealing the mans face to

Be torn in half, because the exploding tree had shredded him like wheat...

be that of an older man and on top of his forehead was a symbol of a

circle with a double jagged line in the center but the most

distinguishing figure was his eyes, his iris was completely white.

More distinguishing than that was that he only had one iris between two
eyes...

As he got closer to the crib he made a strange sign with his hands and

spoke very quietly and when he was done he laid his large

hand across the child forehead and suddenly his hand glowed with an

intense blue and as he slowly pulled his hand away it stop

glowing, But baby Ranma appeared to have not affected he just looked a

little more sleepy.

The power of the unintelligible run-on sentence compels small children to
fall asleep.

�No no stay awake just a little longer.� He smiled at the newborn as the

child smiled openly

We're all smiles here...

Then the man made pulled out a scroll from inside his clothes, once he

slightly stretch the scroll out he laid his other hand against it

and spoke a few words and when he pulled his hand away it was an intense

white and furious blue lightening crackling across his

fingers, the man looked please with the result and then he proceeded to

lay his large hand across the infants chest.

"I hereby cast upon you the spell of neverending poor grammar you will speak
think and act in run-on sentences forever you will never know the wonders of
punctuation or natural pauses we will rule the world together with
unintelligible mindless ramble."

Now no one really what happened to Ranma Saotome after that, some say his

parents took him home and lost him something

afterward, while others say the boy was so freakishly disfigured that�s

his parent immediately put him up for adoption.

Still others say his parents were ashamed at the horrendous grammar flying
out of the infant and sent him to a re-education camp, never to be seen
again...

 What we do

know is that somehow Ranma ended up in America and was taken in by a

talented martial artist at the age of 5.

We know that? It's news to me.

�Come here boy let me see you.�

Ecchi!

The man called out from his large backyard

And outdoors in view of the public, at that!!

A small boy came walking through the door he was a small, skinny child

We don't need to be told twice that he's small.

with long midnight black hair, when he approached his eyes
were narrowed dangerously and were completely white.

"I have masturbated thrice daily since birth, and thus now am blind."

�Hey boy your going to stay with me for awhile you understand?�
�Yeah.� Ranma answered coldly �Just until you get sick of me.�

Well, the kind of turnover rate perverts like this have...

�Now come on I�m going to teach you how to be a fighter.� The man smirked

wildly with a feral gleam in his eye

The little boy scoff �What can a gaijin like you teach me?�

Certainly not decent grammar...

The red haired man leapt into the air and performed an amazingly quick

roundhouse, when his feet touch the ground again Ranma

asked a sarcastic question.
�What was that suppose to show?�

That he kicks high. Duh.

The man didn�t even he just walk over to a nearby tree and� tap it softly

and

He didn't *EVEN...!* (Didn't even...what?)

the entire tree exploded as if it had a grenade hidden

inside.
�Do you want to learn this style Ranma?�

Learn to hide C4 explosives inside inoffensive trees. Just $29.95 a day.

�Yeah, but how do I know you won�t just throw me away like the other

families did?� Ranma ask as walk closer towards the older

man

Because you're....his type.

The mans voice actually got softer �When I�m done with you you�ll be

begging to leave.�

Isn't that always the way?

Ranma grinned at the man �What do they call this style?�
�I�ll tell you the name of it when you land a blow on me.�

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Ranma looked confuse for a second before he grinned and ran at him with

his full speed with fist cock back.

No more! My virgin eyes! >_<;;

~One year later~

It took him a year to blow the guy off...?! @_@

The same man we saw a year ago was standing over Ranma who was not lying

on the ground.

We don't need to know about their preferred positions!

�Get up boy your body should be able to takes strikes like that all day.�

The man said coldly

No more! NO MORE!!!!!! X_X

Suddenly Ranma jump into the air twisting into a back flip landing a

vicious strike to his teachers jaw. The man twisted in the air

landing on his hands and springing back at Ranma nailing him right in the

stomach.

Ranma: "HEY! You said you wouldn't use the nailgun again!"
The man: "Well, you won't hold still long enough for me to use the hammer!"

�Am I being trained to be a ninja?�

No, you're being trained to be a gimp.

This Ranma and his father were out in the forest practicing.

"This" Ranma? So is the ninja-Ranma "THAT" Ranma?

Ranma and his foster father had been sparring for three hours straight.

�Come On Ranma I�m going to teach you a new technique

that you won�t find on any scroll.�

Too...much.... x.x;;

�Here I come.�

*falls over twitching*

Ranma took off at top speed almost blurring to the normal eyes when he

reach >his target he spun in a vicious circle

This fanfic is a vicious circle.

Ranma�s head was on fire it felt like he was just drilled into the ground.

Can this GET any worse? @_@

�This is going to be an assassin mission.� He looked up from reading the

scroll to staring intently at Ranma�s expression

Ranma grinned almost becoming giddy in excitement �When do we leave?�

Ranma ask anxiously

"Ranma like kill! Kill GOOD! Heeheeheeheeheeheeheee."

When they got to small wall in the house

As opposed to the large wall and the medium-sized wall?

Walk by a few Katana�s they were of high quality, along with Wakizasha�s

and Tanto�s, then he saw something that immediately

caught his eye it was a double sword, it was about 36 inches long, he

gentle laid his hand on the hand guard in the middle of the

double bladed sword.

More run-on sentences and bad grammar capitalisation and punctuation and the
thinly veiled yaoi references continue to fly fast and loose oh my God it
never ends.

Each blade was about 14 inches long, The entire sword also had a gentle

curve looking more like a short bow

then a sword.

"It bent..."

�Master.� He called �What is this?�

"It's a sword, dumbass."

�It�s a dual blade sword modified with a different handle and a longer

blade, with the modified handle it can also be used to deflect

shuriken and can also be thrown.�

"It can also make Julienne fries!"

�Watch.� He started twirling blade and then he threw out into the forest

where it could barely be seen.

�The blade also comes back.� He said as he easily caught the blade

"I call it...the boomerang."

�It can�t become your life weapon until you master Ranma.� He said he

tossed an ancient scroll at the boy

"There are 37 more scrolls. Memorise all of them by heart, and then you will
have mastered Ranma."

�That scroll has ALL of the teachings for that weapon boy, but it wont

tell you how to controlled it�s power, only experience can

that.�

Speaking of experience, I recommend a great deal more of it with the English
language before the author of this attempts writing again. This is terrible
on its own merits--it's pointless, boring, and just a flat-out bad read--but
the incessant run-ons, missing words, and grammatical abuses made the whole
thing ten times worse.

Back away from the computer and pick up a textbook.

--------------------------------------
The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com



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