Well...

Erm...It's not so bad. Mark, I think your tired, sleep-deprived responses
should have waited (remember, one night of not sleeping is equal to five
shots of Johnny Walker Black), but they were tired and sleep-deprived
responses, and can be forgiven. 

That being said, I have a few things that I felt about this chapter. I
didn't _not_ like it...but I didn't like it. It seemed...off, at the very
least. I'm going to have to go back and read the entire story again, but it
just seemed that the timing was different and that there were enough
"strange things" going on to make me wish there was MUCH MUCH MORE
exposition in the chapter.

I think you should change the name of the superheroes you're using.
Nightwing, of course, is a DC character, and the other one is close enough
to Starfire that I didn't even notice it wasn't. I just think something
slightly more definitive would be more sensible - and not keep people under
the impression that you've crossed DC into it.

Like I said, I'm going to have to go back and check the story out from the
beginning again - I might make another post then. Or I'll go into hiding
again.

-patchmonkey-


.. Jerry Levine .................       
.. jerry@jerrylevine.com ........       www.jerrylevine.com [work] 
.. jlevine@terpalum.umd.edu .....       www.gaijeans.com [portfolio]
.. patchmonkey@patchmonkey.net ..       www.patchmonkey.net [personal]
........The best way to predict the future is to invent it............ 



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