I enjoyed this chapter a lot. Thanks for writing and sharing it!

 > "Thanks. Mary Jane, I think." He struggled with the cap for a few
 > seconds before he was able to retrieve a half dozen of the precious
 > painkillers.

 > Ryushi nodded. "Some guys have all the luck. Man, was that
 > redhead stacked or what? Ive got to hand it to you  you sure
 > know how to pick them."

I found this sequence confusing, so you may want to consider
rewording. The first time through, I read Ryushi's "redhead" as
a reference to Ranma; the second time through, it seems to be
describing "Mary Jane". You obviously want to keep Ryushi's
reference to a "redhead", as a segue into Hiro's recollecting
Ranma, so I can only suggest amplifying Ryushi's comment a
bit: "Mary Jane, huh? What a stacked redhead she was...
You have all the luck. I gotta hand it to you..." etc.

 > Readhead?!?

Spelling error.

 > you know better than to use the Company database

You're using the CIA's nickname for this Japanese
equivalent of the Secret Service? Strikes me as an
odd choice.

 > "I'm in love."

Personally, I find this Hiro character somewhat annoying,
but it looks like you have plans for him. It won't break my
heart if you forget about them or make them short.

 > "It's kind of hard to ignore our last encounter with her."

I liked this reminder that of Usagi's last-ep battle with
Haruka and Michiru in 'S', and the grudging respect
Haruka shows in this scene.

 > "Good evening, Meiou-san," Ikuko Tsukino said

This surprised me a bit; did they ever meet by the end
of 'S'?

 > his aura projected a confidence and strength of will
 > only seen in those who were grandmasters of their
 > fields.

I found this bit rather hard to swallow. Not that it
makes much difference to your fic as a whole, but,
since that's so, you might want to rephrase. Even
your 'fictionalized' Emperor is the latest member of
a very long line, and inherited the only position he
could ever hold; what possible incentive could he
have to develop such strength of will? Knowing
what almost alwarys happens to the willpower of
heirs of the Nth generation (where N > 2), I don't
understand why you'd want to say this anyway.

 > do you know how *long* its been since someone
 > has actually had the courage to say crap or any
 > other swear word in my presence?

This bit, however, rings true to me. (It may or may
not BE true, but I swallowed it very easily.)

 > And as of the moment, you  specifically your
 > female form  are the sole legal heir of the
 > Yamada Ninjutsu Ryu-

While highly convenient at this point, it strikes me
that this point could use additional justification of
some sort. In Japanese law, and in MOST schools
of this-or-that art, adopted children make
perfectly respectable heirs. Why isn't Midori a
legal heir? Or, for that matter, Ranma's cousin
Mariko we're introduced to in this chapter? (You
never state that lack of training disqualifies an heir,
for instance.)

 > Normally the Throne avoids

Is that really the word used in Japan? (You
could have used "I", for instance, or "the
Imperial Household") It strikes me as a
Briticism applied to Japan.

 > Ranma blurted is surprise
(sp) that "is" should be "in"

 > "Marriage gift tax exemptions?"
 >
 > Yet another shake.

So neither Soun, Genma, Nabiki, or Kasumi have
ever bothered to explain to Ranma exactly WHY
his marriage to Akane was so important? Well,
quite plausible for Genma, actually. At any rate,
Ranma's NOT knowing this perhaps make his
decision later this chapter a bit more plausible.

 > "Hiroko-chan turns twelve years old the end
 > of May." Midori grimaced. "Just old enough
 > to be legally married, Ranma."

According to the US Embassy in Japan's web
site, the minimum age for a female is 16, by
country-wide law:
http://japan.usembassy.gov/e/acs/tacs-7114a.html
Not sure where you got 12 (Mississippi forty
years ago? Pakistan?). You might consider
making Hiroko hate Daichi, or possibly be
mentally retarded, as alternatives.

 > "Like I said &" Ranma said with a sigh. "So
 > what DO we do next?"

This seems to be the core of the chapter: Ranma's
decision to go along with the wedding plans. Given
that the rationale the Emperor has provided is
essentially the same that Genma and Soun have, it's
quite ironic that Ranma accepts here. But it is more
plausible if Ranma doesn't know what Genma and
Soun's rationale is.

I actually don't find Ranma's decision here as hard
to swallow as I probably should, which is a tribute
to your skill as a writer. Still, I think you could
strengthen things a bit more: you might consider
showing us Ranma thinking a time or two prior
to this that Midori looks really cute, for instance.
You might consider having the Emperor or Aiko
tell Ranma that all other engagements involving
honor have been broken off cleanly.

It also helps us, I think, that Ranma's been through
so much life change lately, with the Gate, the lock,
and finding his family, that marriage seems like just
one more big change, rather than the biggest.

 > Aiko nodded sharply. "Dont worry. This is
 > something I will handle personally. There will be
 > *no* mess left behind."

This struck me as a trifle extreme; Aiko doesn't
yet know that it's not an honest mistake, like
the deposits going into the wrong account. For
that matter, since the deposits might have been
delegated, she might be going after the wrong
crook.

 > somewhat understated.

Missing an end quote mark on above paragraph.

 > Genma was, quite frankly, pissed.

Suggest changing to a simple "Genma was pissed"
here. To me, the "quite frankly" isn't adding
anything; if anything, it suggests the author
speaking directly to the reader, which disrupts
your tone a bit.

 > its not as if I can just say no to the
 > Emperor after all

You have not previously given us any reason to
believe that Ranma would feel this way. Probably
the majority of Japanese would be willing to ignore
an indirect request from the Emperor, and there is
enough of a minority which WOULD be willing to
say 'no' to a direct request, that you can't just
assume that your readers know Ranma would
feel this way. It's not like it's instinctive politeness
on Ranma's part; the Gate only fixed his speech
centers, not his personality.

 > Mugonno smiled to himself as he watched

I liked the view into the clan politics and personalities
here, btw.

 > illegal pornographic pictures of the deceased Tendo-

Plausibility problem here: topless shots hardly count
as "illegal pornography" in Japan. Full frontal shots do,
as would shots Nabiki would have no way to take,
as they would require Ranko to do things she wouldn't
do. But as far as we readers are concerned, topless
is all Nabiki's ever taken, since you supply no details.

 > especially considering the number of family members
 > present

Normal Japanese weddings have only the immediate
family in attendance. The big crowd shows for the
reception. While I have no idea what the protocol
would be like for a wedding held at the Imperial
Palace, it might be worth having Nodoka or Aiko
comment on differences.

 > whoever had disturbed the wards surrounding her
 > cache hadnt lasted very long

This could be Genma, Happosai (but he would last),
or the police, as we know from last chapter that
they were on their way to the Nekohanten. If the
latter, the repercussions will be interesting.

 > that was the last time I had to change outfits tonight

What, no cry of "Wedding Change! Oiro-naoshi!"
followed by a transformation? ;) Given that Ranma
now is a magical girl, how could he resist? Or, for
that matter, how did Midori resist teasing Ranma
that way?

 > our own children would end up being trained as
 > actual shinobi

Well, clearly something else happened which wasn't
shown to us at the time it happened. It's fairly clear
what it WAS, mind you; it's just that I think you'd
have been better off showing the actual decision.

BTW, isn't there a Daichi missing from this scene?
Just curious.

 > Ranma was unaware she was supposed to be
 > the one to respond.

Clan leadership transferred with the marriage?
Would have thought that was a separate step, for
instance together with Aiko's gifting of the estate
to Ranma.

 > to something you never agreed to do

Well, Ranma DID agree. Suggest you rephrase
to "something you never wanted."

Again, nice job!




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