~Something Fishy~

"Yay! I can't believe all of the new things they have here this year!"

Chiyo

cried out in delight as she took in all of the exotic sights and sounds

that

surrounded her and her companions.

"There's the Durex Mascot! And the grow-your-own-dildo booth! And the
Vibrating Horsies!"

With lightning fast quickness, Yukari's net flashed into the water,

catching

a fish without breaking the thin gauze. The barker gave her a small bowl
with water in it to hold the fish.

A bowl...? Don't they usually use plastic bags for this? </nitpick>

"Mr. Tadakichi Two," Osaka suggested. "Because he looks so much like Mr.
Tadakichi."

Everyone stared at her, including the fish.

And the reader.

Yukari looked more closely at the fish. "You know, back in the old college
days, I was pretty renowned for my ability to swallow goldfish. Observe."
Yukari reached into the bowl, grabbing the fish by its tail. Before anyone
could react, she raised it above her head, opened her mouth, and allowed

it

to drop into her maw. There was a gulping sound, then Yukari looked back

at

the others. "See? I haven't lost my touch. I could handle ten of them, no
problem."

;_;

"I told you Sushi was a good name," Tomo said in satisfaction.

Nitpick #2: Raw fish is sashimi, not sushi ^_-

*snip Chiyo's fortune*

You know, it actually took me two read-throughs to get the joke there. I'm
so used to Chiyo's being a child-prodigy that I forgot not everyone is aware
of this. Very nice, very subtle.

After two whole minutes, he turned away from the palm and at Sakaki. "I'm
sorry. I can't see a thing."

Sakaki's heart leapt into her throat. "Do you mean I don't have a future?"

"I mean there are so many scars on your palm, I can't see your lines. Do

you

handle broken glass on a daily basis or something?"

I saw that coming, but it was still funny. :)

"What did he say?" Chiyo prodded.

"I should wear gloves more often."

XD

Osaka sat down. As the Seer grabbed her hand, she said, "Did you know I

can

read palms, too?"

Oh dear.

Osaka held out her hand.

"What?" he asked.

"I get two hundred yen for reading your palm, just like the sign says."

Daaaaaaaamn. XD

"I read his palm while I was there. Apparently he's going to be shot down

in

the near future

I only got THAT on the second read-through too. VERY SNEAKY. ^_^

"I want you to go in with me."

"How come?"

"If he gives you a bad future, I might not want to hear mine," Tomo
explained as she forced Yomi to enter the tent.

For some reason, that seems almost logical.

This time the seer didn't bother with any showmanship. He simply held her
offered hand and began reading her palm. "I see that you are suffering

under

a terrible weight, as though a great burden has been set upon your
shoulders."

*

Izumiya held her hand. "I see that you are a great burden."

*dies laughing*

Osaka stopped Tomo. "Let me read your palm, and we'll compare

predictions."

Tomo did as she was asked.

Osaka read her palm. "I see that you are a great burden."

XD!!

"I see you are a lovely woman, a beautiful rose among a field of

dandelions.

An icon of femininity that is a treat to the eyes the way ambrosia is to

the

palate.

"Shouldn't you be looking at my palm when you're saying that?" Nyamo

asked.

"Oh, of course." Izumiya tore his eyes away from hers

At least he wasn't staring at her tits.

Izumiya closed his eyes and furrowed his brow, as though he was
concentrating deeply. "It's... it's your only chance. After you have left
the festival, you must call 555-6161. Only then will you discover your
soulmate."

Clever pickup line. NOT. XD

Nyamo snatched her hand from his. She was about to say something more when
an idea struck her. "Actually, while I'm not available, I do have a friend
that is. She's the same age as me, attractive, has a good job, and most
importantly, is available."

"Oh?" Izumiya said. "Perhaps she has a chance at salvation, too."

"I'll send her in."

oh GOD this'll be rich XD

"So, what do you think he's going to say about Miss Yukari?" Chiyo asked.

A resounding, "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" emerged from the tent.

XD)))))))))))))))

Izumiya stomped out of the tent, his very form radiating unrestrained

anger.

His eyes settled on Nyamo, and he pointed an accusatory finger at her.

"You!

How dare you try to foist that, that, that... thing upon me!"

I call it "justice".

"Hey, she's all right, once you get to know her," Nyamo defended.

"No, she only gets worse once you get to know her. Take it from me, I can
tell."

*snrk*

"What about my future?" Kagura protested.

"I don't know, and I don't care!" Izumiya snapped as he reentered the

tent,

throwing the curtain shut behind him.

Someone's being a very poor sport.

Osaka's eyes moved back and forth over Kagura's hand as though she were
reading a book. Eventually, she said, "Wow, an entire baseball team."

There

was a hint of awe in her voice.

O_o

Osaka blinked, as though she suddenly realized Kagura was there. She

laughed

hesitantly. "Nevermind."

o.O

"No, really, what did you mean 'an entire baseball team'?"

"Some things are best left unknown," Osaka said sagely, then released
Kagura's hand and walked away.

H_H

Kagura stared at her back in distress. "What was it about me and a

baseball

team you saw?" She began following the dreamy girl, begging and pleading

for

answers the entire time.

#X_X#

Tomo snapped her fingers. "Shoot! I always lose control during the

release.

I guess you can call me, 'Wild Thing'," she quipped to the others.

"We'll be calling you 'Broken Arm Thing' once Yomi gets her wind back,"
Kagura said.

Heh.

The barker gave Kagura a warm smile. "Congratulations, Little Lady. You

won

the grand prize, just like the sign says." He handed her the prize. There
was one slight problem with it.

"This is Chiyo-chan." Kagura pointed out as she held Chiyo up from under

the

smaller girl's arms, just like the barker had handed her to him.

O_o;;

"But she's by far the cutest thing you've ever laid eyes on, and like the
sign says, I have to give you the cutest thing you've ever laid eyes on.

So

there you go."

Man, talk about your grade-A cons...

As Kagura and the barker began arguing back and forth, Sakaki blushed as

she

had a brief fantasy of winning a Chiyo-chan of her own, and wondered if

she

could ask the barker if she could play again.

And they thought Osaka was the one who needed a reality check...

Tomo moved to the head of the group. She told the others, "Obviously from
this man's accent, he is American. Allow me to take care of this."

Oh hell.

"I shall open this conversation with a standard English greeting," Tomo
informed the others as she walked up to the man. She turned her full
attention to him and boldly said, "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir."

*FACEFAULT*

Yomi began trembling in anger. "That wasn't English, that was French. And

it

wasn't a greeting, you asked him to sleep with you."

"Oh." A knowing light flashed in Tomo's eyes. She pondered the matter for

a

moment, then said, "I still think he was rude. He didn't even think about
sleeping with me for a second before running off."

*double facefault* X_x

"But what if it was a cute tattoo? A really cute one of something like...
Necoconeco. Wouldn't that make the person cuter, especially if they

were...

fierce-looking?"

Chiyo scratched her head. "Well, I guess maybe it would then. Why do you
ask?"

"I was just wondering" Sakaki said as she scratched at her breast, a

slight

blush entering her cheeks.

*snrk* Cute.

*snippage*

Nice touch with Osaka and Kagura.

*snippage*

Also a nice touch with Sakaki being afraid of heights.

The girls were just about to call it a night when they stopped in front of

a

curious looking machine. The top part held the upper half of a mannequin,
adorned in robes appropriate for a court magician, in a glass case. The
lower part had a slot for money and a place where something could be
dispensed. The exterior was surrounded with hearts and in hot pink

lettering

it said, "Magus, the Love Predictor."

Uh-oh.

Osaka picked it up and read it aloud. "'There is no romantic problem so
great that a boob job can't make it better'." Osaka looked down at her
chest, or lack thereof, then back at the card. "Whoa, that's some

seriously

good advice."

Someone's been playing with the Osaka simulator. :P

Chiyo tried her luck. She read the card she was given. "'Strike while the
iron is hot before time robs you of your youth and looks'."

So she has a good what, fifteen years' window of opportunity?

"Ha! That sounds like Nyamo's card," Yukari giggled.

"We are the same age, you know," Nyamo said in a dry voice.

Yukari's giggles died.

Ha!

Chiyo looked to the others. "I'm not in danger of losing my looks, am I?"

Tomo considered that, "I was just saying to Yomi that I think you look

more

like one of those troll dolls with the funny hair that sticks up every

day."

XO

Tomo was next in line. She read her card, "'True Love is often closer than
you think. Let lifelong friendship change to romance and achieve
happiness'."

Yomi put her coin in. "'True Love is often closer than you think. Let
lifelong friendship change to romance... and... achieve... happiness'."

Yomi

frowned at the card, then stared at Tomo.

Tomo said, "So, you want to start making out or what?"

"Hell no!"

*snickers* Very nice. :)

Sakaki took her turn. Silently she read to herself, "For all of your
exceptional abilities, expect karma to even things out as you'll have a
normal romantic life." Sakaki scratched her head, trying to figure out

what

was exceptional about her.

Awww.

Nyamo tauntingly waved the card in front of her. "It says here romance is

no

problem for me since I'm a babe magnet. Hahaha..." Her laughing suddenly
died off and she read the card again. "Wait a minute. 'Babe magnet'?"

*SNRK*

Still smirking, Yukari put a coin in the slot and read her card. "Mine

says,

'Yeah, right. Stop wasting my time and yours'." Her eyebrow began

twitching

madly. "Why you worthless piece of crap!" She threw the card on the ground
and began stomping on it.

*dies laughing* It's so true!

Kagura was the last one to try. She read her card aloud as well. "Your
window of opportunity is brief. Quickly, propose to the man on your left
before it's too late." Kagura looked to her left. The only person there

was

a normal-looking guy, a couple of years older than her, hunched over
something, as though he was peering at it closely.

"Yeah, right, like I'm going to propose to a complete stranger," Kagura
scoffed.

The youth suddenly shouted out, "Yes! I won the grand prize. A million
dollars a year for life! Wahoo!" He began dancing around, shouting out in
glee as he waved a ticket of some kind around.

Naturally.

[END FIC] Not much of a bang to end it on, but that's sort of the problem
with vignettes. They just end. Thanks for reading.

Thanks for writing. It was, as usual, very much fun to read. ^_^

==============================
"Capitalization is the difference between
 'I helped my uncle Jack off a horse' and
 'I helped my uncle jack off a horse'."
==============================
The Eternal Lost Lurker
(This space for rent)
www.lurkerdrome.com



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