Last time, straight .txt... let's do this!

Thanks to Lurker for pointing out the glaring errors I overlooked.

Now, the story...

Ranma 1/2 and all related characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi.  No 
disrespect intended for this simple fanfic.

For one week, Nabiki was engaged to Ranma.  Through the backfiring of a 
revenge plot by Ranma, their engagement was broken off and he and Akane got back 
together.  What if things did not happen that way?  What if Ranma's plan of 
revenge actually succeeded as far as execution goes?

For Better or For Worst-Case Scenario
Chapter 1: Be Careful What You Ask For...

Fingers of sunlight tickled Ranma's eyelids as he slumbered.  He grumbled as 
his consciousness stirred, then the rest of his being activated in an almost 
domino fashion.  Automatically, one eye cracked open.  

Immediately, he regretted doing so; it felt as if a thousand bees lanced his 
brain repeatedly with Amaguriken speed.  He shuddered violently in agony, 
slamming the offended eye shut.  His head throbbed for a moment more before 
fading; however, it hadn't disappeared completely.

He felt something move in his arms, snuggling against his chest warmly and 
sighing softly.  It definitely sounded female; however, he was not very willing 
to open his eyes again and suffer the wrath of the sun god.  So, in Ranma's 
mind, identifying whoever the person was through his other senses was the safest 
thing he could do with the least amount of pain inflicted on him.  Hoping 
that it wasn't Shampoo (that incident caused far too much trouble for him at the 
time, and he rather not have a repeat of it), he used his fingers of one hand 
to feel out the unknown interloper.

It was very much female to his surprise (and horror); the good thing was, he 
did not feel any odango hairstyles, so Shampoo was definitely out.  The hair 
did not feel very long, either, which removed a number of other girls, 
including Kodachi; sneaking into his bedroom in the middle of the night may not be 
above her, though she had not done so to his knowledge.  Ukyo would not do such a 
thing either, or at least he hoped she wouldn't have.  That would be... 
weird, for reasons which he could not think of at the moment; his head felt like it 
was splitting down the middle.

His hand sent more information to his sluggish brain for processing.  Hair 
was definitely cut short, bobbed was the word, he thought to himself.  Akane?  
The thought melted away when it came up.  She was still mad at him, and all 
because of Nabiki.  He would have to exact revenge on the brunette; the 
conversation he heard the other day revealed that she was playing him for a sap all 
last week.  Maybe pretending he had fallen in love with her lock, stock, and 
barrel would be good enough; that would make her think twice before toying with 
Ranma Saotome again.

The hand was sending up way too much data for him to process at this rate, so 
he told it to return back to wherever it had left from.  There was a very 
pleasurable moan, almost a purring sound, coming from the female, but it was 
placed in the waiting line of his mind.  Examining and filing away the 
information, he was proved right that it was not Akane; this person's hair was cut all 
wrong to be her bob.  It was snipped angularly from the back to her collarbone.  
Plus her breasts felt bigger, judging from the way they were pressed against 
his body.  Also, the stranger's body, while lean and toned, was not very 
muscular; even her derri�re was softer, more rounded out.  Whoever this person was, 
she was definitely no martial artist.  

She was also naked.  

...so was he.

It took well over ten seconds for the implications to finally register.  The 
mental klaxons blared like banshees, which made his head hurt even more, but 
one thing was certain.  The situation was bad, with an overwhelming potential 
to worsen. 

There was no other choice; he had to open his eyes.  Very cautiously, he 
pried them open little by little, tilting his head down and away from any source 
of light.  His head throbbed with those accursed bees attempting to turn his 
brain into swiss chess, but he forced himself to bear the pain in order to know 
just what was going on.

A bleary pair of eyes greeted Ranma.  Blinking a little, he pulled back, 
examining the owner of those eyes.  If he weren't so out of it, there would have 
been instant calamity right then and them.  Instead, he simply said, "Hey, 
Nabiki."

"Hey yourself, Ranma," a groggy Nabiki mumbled.

Silence ensued.  The two blinked dumbly at the other.  Apparently, Nabiki's 
brain was just as sluggish as his was.

Obviously, hers recovered much more quickly than his, judging from the way 
her eyes grew wide like headlights.  Suddenly, she screamed at the top of her 
lungs.  This caused Ranma's migraine to intensify significantly; also, it 
disrupted his equilibrium.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?!" she cried out, pushing the 
surprised young man away as hard as she could.

Already off-balance from Nabiki's scream, Ranma found himself tumbling to the 
floor violently.  He bounced off the matted floor, rolled head over heels 
twice, and landed against the wall upside-down on his shoulders with his legs 
dangling just above his head.  He moaned, feeling both nausea and his brains 
making an attempt to crack his skull open and run free.  "I wish you didn't do 
that...," he mumbled, wincing.

Nabiki mentally pulled up short, seeing his state of undress, then quickly 
checked her own body.  "Oh, no... it didn't... it couldn't have..." she 
breathed.  Frantically, she hopped out of her bed and flung back the covers.  She 
sharply sucked in her breath, her eyes popping wide open as she stared at her 
bedcover

Nearly in the center of the sheets was an irregular, burgundy splotch, 
somewhat smeared about on the ivory fabric.  A glittering nearby caught her eye and 
she quickly switched her attention to its source.  It was coming from a small 
diamond refracting light in a spray of several colors.  The precious gem was 
mounted in a facet of a golden ring adorning the ring finger of her left hand.

All color drained from Nabiki's face then.  After spending several moments 
blinking at the unchanging scene, she sank down to her knees, muttering "It's 
all a dream" over and over.  A tear quietly slid down along the side of her 
nose, then trail down the crease her mouth had formed as she chanted her flat, 
lifeless mantra.

Meanwhile, Ranma had righted himself and found a pair of white pants 
haplessly tossed into one corner of the room.  Slowly, but surely, his brain began to 
make sense out of a lot of things, once he was able to battle the grating 
migraine into a sort of stand-off.  First thing he noticed was that he was in 
Nabiki's room.  Second thing he noticed, in addition to the discovery of the white 
pants, which he was putting on at the moment, was that there were other 
articles of clothing strung about like a hurricane had flung them around the room.  
An ivory tuxedo coat with a red smudge along the collar over here, a wedding 
dress with a broken zipper over there, a garter belt hanging on the doorknob, 
a pair of yellow-and-blue boxer shorts practically clawed off at the waistband 
lying alongside a pair of lacy white panties, shoes... and the faint scent of 
sake.

His mind froze in place.  "No way... we didn't... how-"

A knock on the door slapped down most of his rising denials.  "Son, are you 
two finally awake?"

Another woman's voice.  It certainly wasn't Kasumi's; why would she call him 
"son" anyway?  Curious, though leery of any more surprises, he approached the 
door like it was a fierce opponent, and cautiously opened it just wide enough 
to see the person on the other side.

Standing there was an older woman, looking to be in her early thirties.  She 
wore a blue kimono with her auburn hair pulled up into a bun.  Her blue eyes 
twinkled a bit as she smiled at Ranma exuberantly.  "Son, I take it you and 
Nabiki-chan are ready for lunch now?"

He blinked.  "Nabiki-chan?  Lunch?  Son?"  Cocking his head to one side, he 
asked, "Mom?"

She nodded, smiling.  "Yes, son?"

For a minute, Ranma just stood there gaping at his mother.  His mind was 
completely devoid of any thought; better to be empty-headed than to scream about 
losing one's sanity.  Then he allowed one thought to permeate his 
consciousness, and he promptly voiced it.  "Uhh... does this mean, you know?"

"About the training trip to Jusenkyou?"

He paled a bit.

"Of course.  Your father told me last night.  I must say I was a little put 
off about you turning into a girl, but clearly that hasn't affected your 
manliness one bit."  The way Nodoka beamed at her flesh-and-blood made him feel a 
little uncomfortable as well as somewhat embarrassed.

"It's nearly one o'clock," she informed him.  Ranma blinked in surprise, but 
before he could say something in response, she went on.  "You were so..." A 
blush suffused her cheeks while she beamed with pride. "...manly last night, 
your fathers and I decided to let you two sleep in today.  Hopefully, you will 
contain your excitement better from now on.  I doubt it if anyone managed more 
than a few hours rest with all the noise you and your lovely bride made last 
night."

"Excuse me?" Nabiki inquired, appearing immediately behind Ranma.  She had 
wrapped a thin bed sheet around her previously nude body and was doing her best 
to control her attitude in her current state.  She was performing poorly at 
the task.

Nodoka either did not hear her, or did not pay her any attention.  "At any 
rate, Kasumi and I have prepared you two a very big lunch.  We figured you'd 
need the energy.  There's also a hot bath drawn, so relax and enjoy yourselves 
first before preparing to eat, though not too much."  She gave Ranma a secret 
wink; he nodded dumbly in response.  "And don't worry about the bed coverings; 
we'll take care of everything."  Then she added in a low whisper, "I hope you 
were gentle with her, son."

It wasn't low enough for Nabiki's ears.  She nearly fell over, livid at the 
very comment.

Ranma, still not up to speed with the current world, mumbled, "I... I guess."

Ranma's mother hugged him, fiercely.  "Oh, son, you make me so proud!  I'll 
be expecting lots of grandchildren, all right?"

If Nodoka weren't holding him, Ranma would have very well fell over.  Nabiki, 
however, did complete her aborted tumble, thumping onto the floor.

The older woman looked down over the young man's shoulder and spotted her 
sprawled out.  "Oh, Nabiki-chan, you're awake!  I hope we didn't disturb your 
rest, dear," she said, releasing her son.

"No, not at all..." she responded, a touch of frost in her voice.

"Good!"  Nodoka clapped her hands in joy, clearly unaffected by Nabiki's 
thinly veiled mood.  "Well, I'll see you two downstairs later, all right?"

"Uh... sure, mom," a shell-shocked Ranma barely muttered.

"All right then."  She bowed to both of them and quietly left the hall.

The door was closed firmly behind Nodoka, Nabiki's hand on the knob.  
"Ranma," she said with the most even tone of voice she could muster.  "We must have a 
talk.  Now."  Her efforts were failing, judging by the little snarl on the 
end of her last word.

"Why me?" he muttered to no one in particular.

She spun him around until he was facing her.  "Because this is your fault.  
All of it."

"Like hell it is!" he snarled, getting defensive.  His brains gave him a 
quick reminder that loud noises were a bad thing at the moment, but he ignored the 
pain-filled warning.  "I wasn't the one who decided to get engaged to you."

"You could have backed out of it."

"Yeah, right, like you would have let me."

"If I had known how stupid you were, I would have backed out myself!"

"Then why didn't you?"

"I don't know!"

They glared at each other for several seconds.  Then something dawned on 
Ranma.  "What are fighting about?"

Nabiki blinked.  "You mean, you haven't figured it out?"

He scratched the back of his head, pondering.  "Well, I kinda know that we 
got married yesterday-"

"And whose fault was that?"  She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at 
him.

"Hey, I wasn't the one who told my old man and Mr. Tendo to get a 
western-style wedding with the works set up by the next day!"

"I wasn't the one who proclaimed an undying love in a maze the day before, 
remember?"

Ranma started to open his mouth to fire off a retort, but closed it quickly.  
She was right, after he gave himself a moment to think it over.  The whole "I 
love you" plan in the maze was suppose to be all about revenge; however, it 
backfired.  Nabiki should have been afraid and ran off, but instead she 
insisted on him telling everyone about the wedding that would be held the next day.  
It felt like another trick, but he could not be sure, so he did as she asked, 
watching for her reaction.  She acted nonchalant about his news, which 
disappointed him.  Then he overheard Nabiki converse with Kasumi again about the 
whole wedding plans.  The older sister disproved of her toying with Ranma again, 
while she laughed it off.  "Relax, Kasumi, Ranma doesn't have the balls to 
actually marry anyone.  I'm not worried one bit."  

Her comments raised the hackles on the back of his neck.  Again, she was 
manipulating him.  Well, so would he.  Tit for tat.  Point, counterpoint.

Of course, things didn't turn out that way, as evidenced by the 
morning's-correction-afternoon's antics.  So what happened?  Did she really want to marry 
him all this time?  Ridiculous!  But still...

"If this is what you wanted, then why are you so upset about it?!"

That question caught Nabiki flatfooted; she did not expect him to think of 
that, so she did not have a reply ready.  Two days ago, she had deduced almost 
immediately that his "great revenge plan" that had stirred her imagination was 
just another lame Ranma Saotome trick.  It irked her that she was foolish 
enough to actually believe that he really would harm her for all the pranks she 
pulled on him; he was too soft in that respect.  So, as a counterattack, she 
told him to announce to everyone and the wedding that was planned for the next 
afternoon.  It was rather surprising that he had done it and it was even more of 
a shock that their fathers manage to corral everything needed for a 
western-styled wedding (including invitations and catered foods) to the dojo for the 
next day's "glorious" event, but she landed on her feet and made sure the 
wedding would be a total bust.  She personally delivered wedding invitations to 
Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kodachi, knowing full and well they would demolish the 
festivities.  She could yell at Ranma, blaming his fianc�e troubles for everything, 
break off their engagement, let the ruined son find solace in Akane's arms, and 
everything would fall back to normalcy.  She convinced a few of her friends to 
run a betting pool on the likelihood of one or all events happening; after 
all, she had to make something of a profit off of this whole scheme, as it was 
almost certain the money gifts the guests would bring would have to be given 
back.   She felt so confident, she even told them to throw in a bet on she and 
Ranma actually getting married with a ten-to-one odds rate.  Her plan was so 
easy, even an infant could pull it off.

Apparently, she must have been a newborn, because none of the expected 
catastrophes happened at all.  Shampoo, Ukyo, Kodachi...  none of the three showed 
up at all.  Somewhere in the planning and execution, things went terribly awry, 
and the only hitch that occurred yesterday was her own.  And it was all 
because of her pride, at that.  If she was not so proud, she would have ended the 
ceremonies when it was becoming increasingly clear that no party crashers were 
arriving, and Ranma apparently wanted to be married to her.  Either that, or 
he was baiting her with another lame trick and was incredibly stupid not to 
realize what they were walking into.

"Nabiki?"

She shook herself out of her thoughts at the sound of her name.  "What is it 
now?"

'Um... my question-"

"Drop it, Ranma."  She felt weary and old.  Dealing with the new changes in 
her life was already sapping her strength.  "I'm going to the bath now.  Don't 
you dare follow me in."  

There wasn't much force in her voice, but Ranma backed up all the same.  "No 
problems outta me.  Just hurry up; I wanna get cleaned up, too."

She ignored him, padding out of her room, parts of her mind still in a daze.  
So prideful... so stupid... the thoughts jogged about within her head, unable 
to differentiate themselves in her mind.  So muddled in her own world, she 
nearly knocked over Kasumi as she was coming upstairs.

"Oh, my!  You're awake now, Nabiki?"

"Nope, still dreaming." '-or rather, living in a nightmare,' she thought 
dourly to herself.

"I see.  Is that why you are wrapped up in your bed sheet?"

Nabiki blinked, and looked down.  "Dammit!" she swore under her breath, 
spinning around quickly and re-entering her bedroom.

Ranma, who was busy examining his shredded underwear, looked up as the middle 
Tendo daughter flung off her bedsheet to retrieve a bathrobe.  She quickly 
jammed her arms into the sleeves, when she suddenly remembered her visitor.  
"What the hell are you doing here?!" She snapped the front of her robe close as 
tightly as possible.

He grabbed his head with one hand.  "You mind?  My head's killing me here."

"I'm going to kill you if you don't get out of my room right now!"

"Like I really want to see you naked again!"

Infuriated, Nabiki grabbed a book off her table and let it fly at the young 
Saotome.  "Get out!"

Ranma dodged the makeshift projectile, quickly heading toward the door.  
"Fine! Whatever!  I'm outta here!"  He stormed into his room across the hall.

Nabiki came out of her room in a huff.  "Damn idiot..."

Kasumi covered her mouth to keep from laughing.  "I hear that the adjustment 
period will only last for a month at most.  Really, you could consider 
yourself lucky to be married to Ranma."

With a bit of effort, she forced her murderous thoughts of strangling her 
beloved older sister into the dark recesses of her mind.  "So, Kasumi," Nabiki 
began, controlling her voice.  "What's with the sudden change?  The day before-"

"I know, I know.  I was a little harsh on you then.  But I've come to realize 
that Ranma seemed very eager to be wedded to you, so I decided not to be so 
critical.  And I know you would not have followed through with it unless you 
were serious about the marriage as well."

Nabiki blinked.  "Really?"

"Yes.  At the reception, the way you two were drinking, I just thought you 
were overwhelmed with everyone's love and support.  Even Auntie Nodoka could see 
it."

Again, Nabiki blinked.  "Drinking?"

"It was the best sake Father could find.  'Nothing less than the best for my 
girls' he said as he helped organize everything."

"Okay... I think I'll be heading down to the bath house now."

"All right.  Is Ranma joining you later?"

Again, Nabiki fought down the image of her hands around Kasumi's neck, 
shaking her like a rag doll.

In The Bath
"Great, we got drunk," Nabiki muttered to herself as she reclined against the 
furo's tiled walls.  "We got drunk, and we... we..."  She shivered 
unconsciously.  It made her feel so uncomfortable admitting she had not just slept with 
Ranma, but they were so noisy, no one else could sleep either.  She would 
never live it down.  How Akane must have been feeling while having to listen-

Akane! her mind screamed, rousing Nabiki out of her depressed state.  She 
sleeps in the room adjacent to hers, so she had gotten first-hand knowledge of-

She gasped, feeling what little hope she may have had slide into the hot 
water and dissolved completely.  Even if she could get their marriage annulled, 
or, worse comes to worst, divorce Ranma, there was no way her little sister 
could ever truly accept her former fianc� after listening to him make love to 
someone else.  Especially when the "someone else" was her own blood.

"Great, it just gets better and better," she muttered to herself.  Then she 
brightened a little.  "Well, at least the betting pool's cash will be of some 
comfort.  It's not like someone was stupid enough to actually bet on us getting 
married."

Later in the Living Room
"What?!"  Never in all of Nabiki's life had she been more cursed than what 
was thought possible.  "Someone won the bet?!"

The younger girl on the other line shirked from her "boss's" shriek.  "Like I 
said, someone won the bet."

Nabiki willed herself to visibly calm down on the phone.  "How many?"

"Just one."

"Good news at the least.  Next question.  How much?"

The other girl paused nervously, clearing her throat very slowly. 
"Twenty-five."

"Twenty-five yen?"  The newly inducted Saotome wife breathed a sigh of 
relief.  "A whimsical bet, no doubt.  Hope against hope for the best outcome.  For a 
moment, I was getting scared there."

"No, you don't understand...  Twenty-five thousand."

The silence that chased after that sentence, those three little words, was 
deafening the middle Tendo daughter.  She, however, was not paying it much 
attention, her concentration completely focused on the younger girl on the other 
end of the phone line.  After what felt like eternity and two days, Nabiki's 
mouth finally began processing the massive traffic jam in her brain.  
"Twenty-five... thousand?"

"Yes."  The answer cemented her thoughts.  Some god or goddess up there must 
really not like her today.

"That's 250,000 yen that person won... How much did we take in yesterday?"

"Including the winner's bet, minus expenses, around 200,000 yen."

It took the married Tendo a minutes to collect herself again.  "Now, who, 
exactly, won the bet?"  She had to figure out a way to get that person to forget 
the whole thing; she didn't have 50,000 yen just lying around!  No one was 
suppose to actually bet on her tying the knot in the first place!

"Um... #136. A Kay Tee."

Nabiki paused for a moment.  "Kay Tee?"
 
"That's what it says.  No name, just the initials Kay Tee."

"Well, call me immediately if this Kay Tee comes around to collect."

"But Nabiki, it's suppose to be your honeymoon."

"Never mind that!  Just do it!"  Angrily, she slammed the phone down onto the 
cradle.  She was being mocked again, this time by her own underling!  What 
deity force did she piss off, she wondered, fuming at her luck.

"Oh, Nabiki!"

She looked up from the phone to her sister.  "Oh, what is it, Kasumi?"

"I need to borrow the phone.  I have to call this number." She waved a blue 
slip of paper just in front of Nabiki.

"That looks familiar," the younger of the two said, more to herself, her eye 
casually tracking the slip.

"It should be.  It is one of your gambling slips.  Number 136."

"Oh, well, in that case-" The words slapped Nabiki fully awake.  "Number 
136?!"

"Yes, dear sister.  Now if you'll excuse me, I need to redeem this."  Kasumi 
reached for the receiver.

"Hold it!" Nabiki proclaimed, jerking the cordless unit out from underneath 
her hand.  "I want to know what the hell is going on here, 'dear' sister."

Kasumi gave her a blissful smile.  "Why, Nabiki, I simply made a bet on your 
future happiness, is all."

Her eyes narrowed.  "Bullshit.  25,000 yen is not a bet on future happiness; 
it's a fool's gamble, unless you're privy to some inside information."

Kasumi's smile seemed to broaden a little.  Suddenly, Nabiki had an immense 
desire to beat her charming sister senseless as she could feel the cold 
realization of a trap snapping on her, rending her completely helpless to prevent 
change.  It was a decidedly unfriendly feeling.  She idly wondered if Ranma felt 
like this with her.  Realizing where her thought had strayed, she quashed it 
immediately and gave her full attention to her angelic sister balancing her 
halo atop the points of her hidden horns.

"It wasn't easy, Nabiki, but I managed to learn some 'inside information.'  I 
learned about how you planned on sabotaging your own wedding.  As your 
sister, I couldn't let anyone do such a thing, even if it's the bride wanting such 
things to occur.  So, I took care of matters."

Dread laid inside of Nabiki's stomach.  "How?"

"It was rather easy.  I spoke with Mousse and convinced the nice young man to 
slip Shampoo sleeping pills in her food at night, just enough for her to 
sleep into the afternoon of the next day.  Also, I gave Kodachi a corrected 
invitation, saying the wedding was actually going to be held in Kobe."

Nabiki blinked.  She knew her older sister was smart, but when did she get 
devious?  "Okay, that took care of two obstacles.  But what about -"

"Ukyo?  I made a call to a health inspector whom I met a few times, and 
actually became friends with.  He gave her a call afterwards, telling her to be at 
her shop for an inspection; otherwise, her business may well be shut down."

Nabiki took a long moment digesting all that information.  She came to one 
conclusion.  "I think I liked you better when you appeared to be vacuous and 
blissfully unaware of your surroundings."

Kasumi shrugged slightly.  "In times like these, one must be very alert.  
Now, excuse me; I need to redeem this ticket."  She held out her hand for the 
handset.

Nabiki gave her older sister a decidedly unfriendly glare, before speaking.  
"Don't worry about calling it in; I'll bring you the money later today."

"All right, little sister."  Kasumi smiled again that sweetly evil smile.  
"I'll be outside hanging the laundry if you're looking for me."  She turned 
around and left her sister standing in the living room.  

Nabiki had never in her life wanted to kill Kasumi so badly as she felt at 
the moment.

Outside on the Porch
Meanwhile, Ranma was sitting outside on the patio steps, gazing at the koi 
pond, his lovingly-prepared lunch half-eaten.  His appetite was absent, partly 
from the subsiding hangover, partly from what he had just stepped into 
yesterday, and partly from realizing he was doomed.  Akane, he hadn't seen at all 
today, mainly because she left for school while he was...

He couldn't force himself to finish that line of thought; the consequences 
were grave enough as they were.  Silently, he looked up at the sky, praying to 
whatever deity NOT laughing at him to have somehow spared Akane of his 
stupidity.  And from hearing whatever went on in Nabiki's room.  Maybe he could talk 
Shampoo into using that memory-erasing technique to wipe last night out of her-

-Damn, he had completely forgotten about Shampoo and Ukyo.  And Kodachi, as 
an afterthought.  Maybe that same deity he was just praying to could take him 
now, and spare him a hideous death.

"Ranma, my boy."

The newlywed husband looked up at the voice of Genma, who sat down beside 
him.  He held a small brown paper bag folded over.  "So, how does it feel your 
first day of being married?"

"Horrible, dad."

The older Saotome chuckled heartily, patting Ranma on the back.  "Oh, it 
takes some time getting used to the differences.  It's not an easy path to walk, 
just like martial arts.  Sometimes, marriage is fraught with more peril than 
The Art."

Ranma shook his head.  "That's not what I meant."

Genma raised his empty hand.  "Yes, son, I do know what you meant.  Akane, 
right?"

The son nodded.

"She's stronger than you think.  Like everything else, it'll take time.  
She'll get over it soon enough."

That wasn't the kind of answer he was hoping for.  Then again, he hadn't 
really expected his father to come out and talk to him about marriage in the first 
place.  It certainly was a surreal moment: real, true-to-life bonding over 
something other that martial arts with the old man.  It made him feel funny, and 
he couldn't find the strength or courage to ask the real questions on his 
mind-like how the hell can he escape being married to Nabiki.

"Oh, by the way, I picked up something for you.  It'll put to rest some of 
the burning questions you must have but are afraid to ask about right now."  He 
handed over the brown parcel.  As Ranma took it in wonderment, Genma got up.  
"Don't despair, boy."  He went inside the residence, leaving Ranma alone with 
his thoughts.

Curiosity setting in, Ranma unfurled the packaging, dropping a box with a 
note secured around it by a rubber band.  The note removed before looking at the 
box, Ranma read aloud. "'Family after high school.  Ask for more as needed'?  
What the-" he started to say, turning over the box in his hand. 

Inside
Nodoka was sipping a cup of tea when Genma came into the kitchen area.  She 
set her cup down on the saucer.  "So, did you-"

"CONDOMS FAMILY PACK?!"

Nodoka heard her son's proclamation and smiled.  "I told you he may be 
concerned with starting a family while Nabiki is still in high school."

Genma nodded assertively.  "Apparently so, my wife.  That should ease his 
mind of worry."

"I agree.  Tea, dear?"

"Yes, please."

In the Living Room
The wedded Tendo was sitting in front of the television, seeing the images 
flash before her eyes, but not watching it at all.  Ranma came in, looking 
around the room before spying her.  Quickly, he approached his "wife."

"Nabiki, we gotta talk."

Her eyes focused to reality again, and she painstakingly turned around to 
face her "husband."  "Oh, really, now, Ranma, baby?  About what, pray tell?  No, 
wait, let me guess; you've figured out yet another aspect of my life in which 
you can ruin.  I'm overjoyed, really."

"Will you shut up and listen to me for once in your life?!  This is serious!"

"And you think I'm not?"

"Look, you think I like this any more than you do?  Old man just gave me a 
bunch of condoms; you got any idea how embarrassing that is?"

"Oh, pooh, you were given condoms, so wha-"  Nabiki's words went dead, a 
growing sense of freshly born horror.

Ranma considered getting Tofu to recommend a surgeon to sew his mouth shut.  
Every time he opened it, something bad invariably occurred.  Like now, judging 
from the way Nabiki's face paled, like she was being turned into a Goth girl 
right before his eyes.  "Uh, Nabiki-"

"God damn you, Ranma."  It came out so quietly, Ranma almost missed it.  "You 
did find another aspect of my life to ruin.  You son of a bitch.  Do you 
really hate me that much?" Her voice quivered as she spoke the last sentence.

"What are you talking about?"

"You getting me pregnant."

Ranma stared at her for a few moments.  Then he smirked, confidence wafting 
through the room.  "Oh, is that all you're worried about?  No problem!"

Nabiki was really getting annoyed with people and their little secret smiles. 
 She so much wanted to imbed her fist dead into her "husband's" kisser and 
ruin that smile forever.  "What do you mean, 'No problem'?  It's a very big 
problem!"

He dismissed he concerns with a wave of his hand.  "Nabiki, there's no way 
you can be pregnant!"

An unexpected ray of light bore through the clouds of darkness surrounding 
Nabiki.  "How, why are you so certain about... this?"

Ranma grinned.  "Everybody knows you can't get pregnant the first time you 
have sex with someone!"

The ray of light was devoured by the black hole Ranma's proclamation created 
in the living room.

"Y-You... you..."

"Oh, don't thank me, Nabiki.  I'm just glad I remembered what Hiroshi and 
Daisuke told me a while back."

"You... IDIOT!"

"Huh?" Ranma was confused.  "What're you getting upset about?  I told you-"

"Are you really that stupid, or do you practice everyday?"

"Hey!"

"You can get pregnant on the first try.  Or if you practice the 'rhythm' 
method.  Or if you pull out before ejaculation.  Or if-"

Ranma was slowly backing away from Nabiki; she may have sounded calm and 
rational, but her body language was throwing out more screams and expletives than 
a ship of drunken sailors.  Tears welled in her eyes like lakes on the verge 
of flooding during the rainy seasons.  Worse, still, Ranma had no idea as to 
what to do, too afraid of stepping on another emotional landmine.

"I'm home..."  Startled, Ranma and Nabiki looked at the front door as one.  A 
now-dumbstruck Akane blinked back at the two, and time momentarily lost its 
hold over the living room.  The memory, however, was burned indelibly in the 
minds of the three teenagers.

Just as suddenly as the whole world stopped in its tracks, time reasserted 
control, and life moved on.

Nabiki got up, unsteadily to the point she had to grab Ranma's shoulders to 
remain standing.  Dropping her head to her chest, she spoke softly, her voice 
quavering. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Akane..." Tears tumbled down the married 
Tendo's cheeks, splattering on her clothes and the floor carelessly.  "I..."

"Nabiki," Akane said, her voice trembling slightly.  However, that seemed to 
have been too much for her sister, as she suddenly bolted for her room, 
stumbling and falling all the way up the stairs.  She could only watch her flee the 
room, rooted to the spot on the landing.  Then her eyes landed on Ranma, who 
had a completely lost look about him, eyes darting to the stairwell, and then 
back at her, his mouth moving, but no intelligent words were forthcoming.  She 
rent her eyes from the scene, turning to go back outside.

"Akane, wait!"

"I'm going to the dojo, to train, Ranma.  Go to your... your wife... She 
needs you."

The gravity of the words, your wife, threatened to suffocate the young 
husband.  Coming from Akane, they were daggers of ice, lancing through his spirit, 
and freezing him where he stood.  He watched helplessly, as she quickly walked 
out the door on him, both literally and figuratively.

He crumbled into the couch, realization leaving him drunk and sickened.  
There was no easy way out for him.  In fact, there was no way out at all.  He was 
now married to a life of misery.  Worst still, this was just the first day, 
and Ranma didn't know if he could make it through another one, since harder 
times were most certainly waiting around the corner, ready to bludgeon him at a 
moment's notice.  He was trapped under the rock and a hard place, no room to 
breathe, or move without inevitable death looking to gain its pound of flesh.

'What do I do now?' Ranma thought to himself, stifling his nonexistent tears 
harshly.  Men don't cry; they fix everything.  The problem was that he didn't 
know where to start.  Perhaps it was time he had a long talk with those that 
have already been through this kind of thing before.

"Now, where did my parents go?"

TBC

My therapist tells me to not get upset about little errors but to focus on 
creative fixes.  Of course, my therapist also has white fluffy wings growing out 
of her back.
-Piro, Megatokyo's Grand Theft Colo: Otaku City

http://goldenarms.deviantart.com


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