"Excuse me, but do any of you have a cat I could borrow?"

[Alf] "Let me check my fridge."

Kaorin thought at first that Osaka had said it, as did Osaka.

[Osaka] "Sorry. I don't know what I'm sayin' half the time."

"Ah."  Sakaki's lidded gaze dropped to the floor.  "Sorry to bother
you."  She turned around and shuffled away.

Awww. ;_;

Kaorin watched her personal inspiration walk away disappointed.  "Miss
Sakaki?"  She grabbed Yomi.  "What's wrong with Miss Sakaki?!?"

*twitch* I guess we'll have to get used to this, now... >_<

"Ahh, you didn't know?" Osaka drawled.  "Strange.  Ya obsess over her
and ya don't know what she obsesses over?"

You're...kinda overdoing Osaka's 'accent' there.

Kaorin released Yomi to clasp her hands as if in joyous prayer.  "I do
not obsess over the very cool Miss Sakaki, although she'd be worth it
if I did."  Sparkles shone in Kaorin's eyes, until she blinked them
away.  "Wait, HER obsessions?  She doesn't have any."

*snrk* How very Kaorin to fail to notice.

"Sure she does.  Kagura saw her try to pet ah cat over an' over again

And you're REALLY overdoing the accent thing THERE. "ah cat"?

"Chiyo-chan and cats...so if I...and she's all alone this weekend..."
She grinned so fiendishly that Yomi and Osaka both took a step back,
then Kaorin set off down the hall.  On the way, she came across Chiyo,
whom she scrutinized without breaking her smile.

This...does not bode well. o.o;;

"Oh, don't worry, Chiyo-chan.  She's just glad you ain't a catgirl."

....mental image...too cute... *dies*

Chiyo was sufficiently used to the effects of Osaka's hidden thoughts
that she automatically assumed her comment to be the product of
another daydream.

A shared daydream, obviously.

[Tomo] "UOOOOOOOOH! Osaka's contagious!"

Ironically, a catgirl Chiyo was dancing in Sakaki's daydream when her
doorbell rang.

[Neko-Chiyo] "....meow."

*Sakaki explodes*

waist and
breast hiding pink dress

That's kind of an awkward turn of phrase...

Before Kaorin could grow too concerned, Sakaki returned the smaller
girl's hug.  "K-Kaorin...chan...you are welcome to stay as long as you
like."

"D...do you mean it, Miss Sakaki?"

Dude. Pick one or the other. Japanese honorifics or dubbification. Not both.

Kaorin looked up, sincere happiness beaming into Sakaki's still
somewhat surprised eyes.  "Please, call me Kaori, Miss Sakaki."

"Kaori."  She smiled.  "Miss Kaori."

That...doesn't quite seem to work, for this. "Kaori-chan" is definitely more
appropriate.

The addressed student sat up straight, embarrassed to have been caught
casting sidelong glances at Sakaki in the cafeteria, while having a
pleasant daydream about a werewolf named Sakaki hungrily devouring a
piece of meat named Kaorin.

O_o;

"Chiyo-chan misses you."

"Er, well, I have new friends now and-"

"Even Osaka's noticed."

Um...after Kaorin got transferred during third year, the others more or less
forgot she even existed, except for the beach trip. Actually, they forgot
her even before that. So this seems kinda...off.

"Because...I'm not as cute in a school uniform."

Kagura froze, a number of possible lectures dying on the seeming
non-sequiter.

No shit. @_@

Unfortunately, everyone else in the cafeteria heard her announcement.
She was soon mobbed by most of the males and a few of the females, who
snatched her writings and pored over them.  "Wow!"  "Ooh!"  "Huh, is
that all?"  "No way!  Her breasts are that BIG?"

[Kimura] "They're such a proper size!!"

No one noticed Sakaki abruptly stand up and leave, or the tears she
wept through her afternoon classes.

Awww.

"I can't help it."  Kaorin quivered slightly.  "My body...I tell it to
stop, but it won't.  I don't know what to do."  She looked up.  "I
don't know how to stop it.  I'm scared, Miss Sakaki."

And THAT is probably the weirdest conversation two girls will EVER have...

"On your jaw...you have..."  Sakaki leaned over and licked off a stray
drop of sauce that had landed and dried just below the left corner of
Kaorin's lips.  Her tongue lingered there, then almost of its own
accord drifted upwards.

#H_H#

Two hours later, Sakaki and Kaorin lay gasping for breath.  All of
Kaorin's clothes except her socks and the ribbons in her hair lay
stacked neatly nearby, while Sakaki's clothes were strewn about the
floor like a still life photograph of a hurricane.

Woo-woo!

A combination of soreness and residual pleasure was sapping Kaorin's
will to move even before she heard Sakaki's request.  But a partner
who would service her like that then immediately see to practical
needs was, in her opinion, just so cool.

Heh.

Osaka looked at the paper.  "Ah wonder on which side the study of
pigtails would fall?"

Chiyo edged slightly away from Osaka.

Kagura snickered.  "Sakaki's, of course.  Who do you think 'studies'
Kaorin?"

*SNRK*

One night a couple months later, Sakaki came back from class to find
Kaorin curled up in a ball, crying.  Mayaa was trying to nuzzle

Maya

"Th...there was a lab accident," Kaorin sobbed.  "Some acid got on my
face, a-and..."

*wince*

"LET ME SEE!"  Sakaki grabbed her friend by the shoulders and whirled
her around, effortlessly warding off Kaorin's attempts to cover the
red pit of half-melted flesh in her left cheek.

*double wince* Ouch. Poor Kaorin. ;_;

One quick run to the cosmetics store and an hour of trial and error
later, Sakaki smiled into a mirror on the desk in front of her and

Think you mixed them up there. :P

"Specifically, cosmetic surgery."

Kaorin blinked.  "...for me?  Just because of this?"

Awwww.

"I was leaning towards it anyway, just in case something like this
happened."

.....that's a bit......

...................disturbing.

Sakaki's smile, although but a shadow of Kaorin's, was visible enough
for her audience of two.  "And I give thanks every day that you are
mine, Miss Kaori."

Awwwwww.

*snip the surgery simulator bit* That was hilarious. XD

It was only a month later that Kaorin and Sakaki snuck into the campus
hospital at night.  Quietly slipping past security, they entered a
surgical supply room and got to work.  Fifteen minutes later, they
left just before a guard came in the opposite door.  Ninja doctor and
ninja patient exited the hospital unobserved.

But was the ninja surgery a ninja success?

Only when they were away from the hospital did Kaorin squeal, "Gimme
the mirror!  I wanna see!  I wanna see!"

Unfortunately, the reflection staring back at her had acid-whitened skin,
emerald green hair, and a freakishly unnatural and unnerving grin...

"Okay," Kaorin sighed, oblivious to the feline taking a nap on her
head.  "You were right.  Playing 'Taps Az Raps' for a doorbell was a
bad idea."

*snrk*

As Sakaki looked up, the man replied, "Actually, I'm here for both of
you.  I have a little proposition."

"I'm sorry," Sakaki replied on autopilot, "we aren't that type
of...

*snrk*

"Quite alright," the professor replied.  "Let's get to the point,
shall we?  As you know, our hospital's financial situation has been a
bit tight lately, capped off when SOMEBODY broke in not too long ago."

BUS-TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!

"So we're doing a fundraiser to make up the difference.  One of the
ideas that's been tossed around is a fashion show.  I have a friend in
the industry who's got some designs

Fashion creations by Daidouji Tomoyo.

In stark contrast to Kaorin's cute act, Sakaki plodded straight ahead,
looming over everything.  Her suit was pressed and neat, her fedora
was perfectly parallel to the ground, her left arm disappeared into
the right side of her suit as if ready to pull out a gun or a sword,
and her right arm hung loosely, her pinky finger braced behind her
other fingers so one would have to look close to see that it had not
been cut off.  She menacingly locked eyes with each audience member in
turn as she stood behind Kaorin, who continued to strut and dance as
if nothing was the matter then bowed.

That's not cool, that's SCARY. X_X

Sakaki had been trying to express concern, and so was confused when
she heard a stifled sob in Kaorin's voice.  "Miss Kaori.  You need to
be happy to be cute."

"I know.  And...well, it's just...when you're not with me, there's
nothing to be happy about.  The world's just so...blah...compared to
you."

Awwww.

"You are depressed.  I can...obtain...some antidepressants, if they
would help you."

Wouldn't it be a lot easier for her to give Kaorin a handkerchief with her,
ahem, "scent" on it? That'd keep her in a constant state of euphoria.

Kaorin knew, in the bottom of her heart, that the supply would not be
legally obtained.  But her wisp of conscience drowned under the hope
that this would help her pay off Sakaki's debts, and more importantly
that this would also help her be cuter for Miss Sakaki.

This is a very screwed-up relationship they're in.

"Please don't see me like this," Sakaki quietly pleaded.

"Like what?"  Kaorin stopped in the doorway, her back still turned.

Silence, then a "Damn.  DAMN!" followed by Sakaki sobbing.

Yikes.

"It wasn't just you.  I was taking tranquilizers."

"Miss Sakaki?  Why?"

"For you.  I had...difficulty, restraining my emotions, especially
around you.  But I've known the effect I've had on you.  I wanted...if
by being cool I could make you happy, and make you cute again...I
would give anything to make you happy, Miss Kaori."

VERY screwed-up.

It was the anniversary of when they first made love, and their roles
would be exactly reversed.  Dinner would even come immediately after,
if only because of Mayaa's insistence.

Heh.

"I allowed Sakaki to try it because she's been fully briefed on it,
but I'm not so sure I should give one to you."  The professor frowned.
"This is not a toy.  It's meant to help with serious mental-"

Yep, that's Kaorin. Seriously mental.

"Say no more.  Yours is certainly the type of situation my invention
is meant to help.  But I should warn you..."

"...I'm not licensed to perform elective brain surgery and am currently
involved in seventeen separate malpractice suits."

Later, the two would later refer to themselves prior to that day as
Before, as in Miss Sakaki Before as different from Miss Sakaki.

That sentence should be taken out back of the barn and shot.

 They
only switched off the implants when they were together, and every so
often adjusted each other's programming to better match what they had
come to define as "cool" or "cute".  They managed to enjoy years of
fame that way: Kaorin as an idol full of heart, and Sakaki as a
thoroughly rational scientist.

This is MORE than a little creepy. This is getting into downright WRONG.

Unfortunately, her motion caused Mayaa to leap away, and bounce off
Kaorin's hand.  Their eyes glazed over as the controls were uploaded.

Afterwards, neither could bear to leave the other, even for a moment.
They were both so overwhelmed by the other's presence that neither
could get up to eat or drink, to say nothing of changing the program,
and so died in each other's arms.

Out of respect for the dead, the words "cool" and "cute" were
specifically omitted from the coroner's report.

............................................................................
............


==============================
"Capitalization is the difference between
 'I helped my uncle Jack off a horse' and
 'I helped my uncle jack off a horse'."
==============================
The Eternal Lost Lurker
(This space for rent)
www.lurkerdrome.com



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