Rather than go through the whole thing pointing out stuff, i thought I 
would make some general comments.

There has not been a lot of Marmalade Boy fan fiction, which is really a 
pity. The series is one of my barely-closeted obsessions and I think 
I've seen it through at least six times thanks to the legendary 
Tomodachi fansub. What happened on the trip to Hawaii, and the origins 
of what fans of the series refer to as "the Odd Quad", is good fanfic 
fodder and I think it was handled well here. I have no real complaints.

My only complaint about the story I am not going to share. It is a 
continuity issue, and to point it out would be an enormous spoiler for 
the end of the manga and anime. I don't know if DB has seen that far, so 
I'm kind of reluctant to bring it up just yet unless he asks me to -- 
and I'd want to do it in private e-mail in any case.

Michael Hopcroft

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