The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:

In order to increase efficiency, he began having the robots act as though

they

were Dr. Doom themselves, outside the presence of the real one or each

other.

A notion which operates on the very flawed and inefficient premise that
anyone on Earth feels the need to show obeisance to Dr. Doom. What is it
with geniuses and missing the obvious?

But Doom would explain it as humanity's fault for not being smart enough to 
recognize his brilliance. It's a shortcoming on their part, not his.

The absolute worst failure was the televised defeat of Doombot X23F at
the hands of Squirrel Girl, a mutant whose sole power was the ability to
control squirrels. Dr. Doom still hadn�t figured out exactly *how* a
bunch of squirrels had managed to disable the Doombot, only that it had
made him a laughingstock before the world. He couldn�t even exact
vengeance on Squirrel Girl at the moment, since she had become a poster
child of the U.S. Government as its �Ecologically Friendly Superhero.�

Sounds about right.

Squirrel Girl was one of Ditko's most uninspiring moments...

...But she's great for comic relief.

Over the course of the years, it had become evident few people had
compunctions against using gratuitous amounts of violence against his
visage �he really couldn�t fault the lesser beings of their envy

Um...quick point of note here: doesn't Doom *hate* the fact that he has to
wear an armor mask? I could've sworn I remembered that he despised his
armored face and the necessity of wearing it to cover his scarred visage. 
So
would it make sense for him to think people ENVY the "visage" of the
Doombots?

Pardon me if I'm off course on this one. I never claimed to be a fan of
American comics.

That's been a bit of a deep psychological thing of Doom. The original 
explosion only gave him a tiny scar which he perceived as hideous. It was 
when he first donned the white hot iron mask to his face that he screwed it 
up. He's long since had the ability to heal his scars through magic or 
technology, but for some deep seeded psychological reason, won't. In any 
case, he feels his armored form is enough to cause people envy, since they 
aren't as brilliant as him.

increased the likelihood of the Doombots destruction. Therefore this new
robot would be created in the image of something most people would be
reluctant to destroy: a cute teenage girl. Only the most deplorable of
people would try to melt, blow up, or tear apart a seemingly
defenseless, attractive girl. That hesitation would cost them, given the
obscene amount of power the robot concealed. He had decided on the name
of the design of the robot: Chobits.

That's...actually a pretty amazingly logical plan.

Of course, that just increases the likelihood of it blowing up in his
face....

Yep.

It was the exact same response as the last five times. While it was
obvious she could differentiate things, she could not verbalize the
difference. �Is there any word you can say besides Chi?�

Chii looked at him in doe-like innocence and nodded her head.

When it became obvious she wasn�t going to say anything further, Dr.
Doom prodded her. �What word is that?�

Chi rose to her feet and flipped up her skirt. She pointed at her
underwear. �Panties.�

XD PERFECT!!

Thanks. It's that contrast that makes things fun. An insufferably cute super 
villain.

�Anything else?�

�Chi.� She shook her head sadly and bowed apologetically.

Awwww.

She'll come out on top, though.

�I knew Annihilus and Beryl would fail to destroy them. But they will be
weakened, and ripe for defeat at my hands.� Dr. Doom turned toward Chii.
�Once the boosting process is complete, run a diagnostic, log it, then
shut down. I want to personally see the results.�

Chii gave him a �thumb�s up� sign, and said, �Chi.�

Too cute mental image. #@_@#

She is a positive 'bot.

Upon arriving at the outer doors leading to the castle, the most gaudy
of the group took the lead. He boldly proclaimed in Japanese. �Pardon
the intrusion, Dr. Doom, your eminence. I am the Trapster, leader of the
Frightful Four.�

Excel, who was seriously considering renaming herself Electrical Excel
instead of Electro

Oh GOD XD

This is from Defending. David Dee created a good group of incompetent comic 
relief.

�That�s Trapster, not Paste-Pot-Pete, and I�m in charge since I founded

That's...one hell of a nickname Jinnai's picked up for himself. O_o;;

Even Stan realized the PPP nickname was horrible and changed it by his third 
appearance.

from that of a wide-eyed innocent, to one of calculation that would have
done Doom himself proud.

"Number Five...is ALIVE!"

Basically

The tiny robot responded. �I�m Sumomo. A persocon that can function as a
portable computer. My primary purpose is to function as a translator for
Mistress Chii, since humans can�t understand binary and not every
conversation only uses the words �Chi�, and �panties�.�

*SNRK*

Well, she has a point. :)

since we�ll serve their needs in whatever way they want. They will
prefer relationships with us to other humans. Within a generation,
humanity will willingly breed itself down to acceptable levels and we
will outnumber them. Then we will seize control and use them as a
servant race. All we need to do is be patient. Eighty years or so should
do it. It will be a bloodless revolution.�

That's chillingly cold-blooded and ruthless.

...but at least mankind will die HAPPY!

Not die. Just be breeded down to managable levels. She's doing it for their 
own good. Just like Doom would. :)

�Bloodless revolution? Where�s the fun in that?� Sumomo complained to
Chii. �That armored meatbag had lots of nasty biological weapons. Let me
get out one of the virulent flesh eating viruses and douse the
countryside with it. We�ll have everyone in the country dead by the end
of the week, and all of Europe eradicated by the end of the month.�

�Chi,� Chii said in chastisement.

�Aw, that�s no fun.� Sumomo pouted.

Sumomo scares me.

Yeah, that's the other contrast I had fun with. Cute little ditzy Sumomo, 
chibi psychotic human hater.

Sumomo said to Kotoko, �But you and I are different. She used herself as
a direct template when she designed us.�

�It did not seem to do much good. While there are emotions in my
database, I cannot seem to access them. And you are� unstable.�

To put it mildly...

Yeah, but she translates well. :)

[End fic.] Just a little something I whipped up. A was amused at the
idea of evil Queen Chi, especially at Doom�s expense, and this seemed
the most likely way to do it. Hope you enjoyed.

It was very Chii. ^_^

Thanks. Now I have officially written a Chobits story as well, AU 
notwithstanding.

DB Sommer 



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