Michael A Chase wrote:
Suggested changes: {before : after}
I changed all the fancy punctuation (, . and ...) to ASCII.
% Thanks. Makes it easier for me to read as well.
On 05/25/2005 09:10 AM, DB Sommer said:
While there had been a real Senator Timely, Kang had him quietly
killed and his remains disintegrated, subsequently replacing him with
a robotic duplicate. The man had been a reclusive bachelor with no
family, so having the robot behave as though he were the real thing,
using the same itinerary the senator had and mirroring every official
decision the original had made meant no one picked up on any
discrepancies between the two. Besides, the public tended to see
politicians as caricatures rather than real people anyway, and people
tended to see what they wanted to.
Wouldn't a politician being consistent be a (dead) giveaway too?
% Actually Kang means the robot double's voting record is consistant
with what the original did in Kang's pre-tampered timeline.
However, there were times when important matters, like now, that Kang
needed to change things to his liking. To ensure success and make
onsite decisions should the need arise, Kang took personal charge of
the situation with a holographic projector and voice scrambler. Some
things could not be left to chance.
This is really going to blow up on him. Isn't it?
% Not at the moment.
The president paled. "My god, the damage to the environment, it's
like ground zero of an extinction level event. It'll take hundreds of
years for that forest to grow back, and that hill will never
return."
Has he seen recent pictures of Mt St Helens?
% Always increase the terror of your cause for dramatic effect. This
actually applies to anything. Disapprove of gay marriages by claiming
it'll make humanity go extinct. Temperature two degrees above the norm
for that time of year? It's obviously global warming in action. Etc, etc.
Would it have been okay if
some beavers had cut down the trees?
% Nature can do to nature whatever it likes. Humans are outside nature
and any impact a human has on nature is evil. Example, a fox kills and
eats a rabbit, it's nature at work. I shoot and eat a rabbit, I'm a
murdering butcher that should be executed.
% See? They are completely different.
"It's a miracle something worse than this hasn't happened already,"
the president concluded. "Victor, you'll get a green light on this
'Hulkbusters' unit you're clamoring for.
It will be interesting to see how much environmental damage they do
getting set up and in their fights with Hulk.
% Heh. It all happens in an urban area that's mostly abandoned, so it's
minimal
The president nodded. "Yes, that might work. And after the Hulk
matter is taken care of, we'll bring it up again at a later time.
Good plan. I actually have a close friend high up in the Diet, too.
She can probably help grease the wheels as well, since she's of a
like mind when it comes to environmental dangers like this creature.
We'll have Gyrich as the liaison. He's been to Japan before, and he
has the right sort of enthusiasm when it comes to situations with
{super-}powered beings."
% Nope. Intentional wording there. Reason will become evident later,
which is why I rambled on in this scene. It's set up for later events.
Through gritted teeth Gyrich spat out, "Their name is Jamie Madrox.
All of them are, including the pilot. He's a mutant that likes making
bad Matrix jokes and can create an exact duplicate of himself with a
kinetic impact."
Kaori's worst nightmare. Even if she kills one off, she'll have twins
again. Maybe she should off the Saeba twins before they learn the trick.
% It would involve mutating their genetic structure in a specific way.
Thankfully not possible.
"You will date my goddaughter over {my : your} dead {body, : bodies.
All of them}"
% I like the change.
Kaori began leading him to a large structure next to field. "This
whole school will be our base of operations. Space has been made in
that gym over there. I'm actually just a liaison for the local
police, though. I'm to keep our people out of the way of your people
and the ministry's."
Furinkan?
% No. Abandoned school.
"Where is Hulk?" the Hulk bellowed.
Ummm. Right here?
% Hulk is looking for geopolitical term, not literal.
However, after smashing his way through the castle's defenses, the
Hulk discovered Chi was not a robot at all, but a pretty girl (though
not as pretty as the Hammer Girl). When the tiny girl on Chi's
shoulder asked the Hulk what he was doing there, and he explained he
was there to destroy the evil robot, Chi, the pretty girl began
crying. She said Dr. Doom was a bad person that wanted to do bad
things to Chi, who was a poor helpless girl that was trying to help
the world.
Chi's ultimate weapon.
% Doom is really kicking himself for giving her that crying function.
"Cats are so dangerous in Japan you need an automatic rifle to take
them out?"
"Some breeds."
Cat girls? I'm not sure automatic weapons would be enough.
% Phantom Cats. And no, automatic weapons barely inconvience them. They
can regenerate from nearly any wound rapidly. They are nasty pieces of
work, espcially since a lot of them want humanity extinct.
then along came Ranma, who was the epitome of all Ryouga was not. He
was even a better fighter {that : who} had picked on Ryouga
mercilessly, just like people picked on poor, hideous Kenny. Probably
the only difference was Ranma hadn't stolen Kenny's bread every day
for a month.
Maybe he had, Ranma did get around a lot when he was younger.
% Heh
Ryouga didn't like hitting girls, but sometime it had to be done.
Besides, girls tended to have little reluctance when it came to
smacking men around, when they felt there was just cause.
Maybe she should be Narusegawa.
% This one isn't that violent.
Yumi said, "We're only on the second floor. There's a stairwell
behind that pillar there. You go down one floor, then exit. Any
direction you go will lead out. Whatever you do, don't try going down
to the basement. Them stairs is crumbling bad and you'll fall
through for sure. Go out the first door you come to and you'll be
fine."
Now Ryouga's really in trouble.
% Yep.
Eyes rimmed in red from pain and rage, the Hulk drew back his fist
and struck the incoming mass of flesh hard in the stomach with an
uppercut. The blow sent Kenny sailing back where he had originally
been tossed, this time {impacting with : slamming into} the ceiling.
He bounced off and back to the ground where he lay motionless for
several seconds. Then he began to rise again.
Some mornings it just don't pay to chew through the straps. Kenny's
body may never be discovered, and even if it is, the Hulkbusters will
want to pin all the dead bodies on Hulk. Hulk probably doesn't like
irony any more than he likes fuchia.
% Actually this gets resolved quickly and in the Hulk's favor.
Unit 5 laughed even harder. "Oh yeah, a water balloon. Now that's
dangerous. I guess I'd better surrender before you make me rust
solid."
He's smarter than he knows. It's a shame he doesn't take his own advice.
% If they all surrendered, the Avengers wouldn't get to show their stuff.
"You already messed up {by : my} windshield," the soldier said.
Unless he has a stuffed ub noze.
% Heh
It now occurred to him that her smile wasn't all {the : that}
pleasant, at least not as far as he was concerned. He knew enough
about the specs of the Mandroid armor to know the faceplate was the
weak point, and that at such a close range he couldn't do anything to
the Wasp that wouldn't cause him considerable damage as well.
"I have no interest in wasting the taxpayers' money in trashing this
armor." He held his hands up in surrender.
He's the smartest one there.
% in hindsight, yep.
A loudspeaker burst out in Narusawa's voice. "Sir, I can positively
confirm that the Hulk is not responsible for any of the deaths here."
I wasn't sure she'd have noticed or remembered.
% She did. A good deed rewarded for a change.
Ross reluctantly nodded. "All units, this is General Ross speaking.
Stand down. Repeat, stand down."
Amazing. I thought he'd try to carry through regardless.
% Nah. The Hulk hasn't been tearing up Gamma Base every other issue
here. Ross has no grudge against him. And Ross always obeyed orders, if
he wasn't on the verge of mental breakdown, being controlled by the
Leader, or suffering from some external cause.
Talbot turned off his radio. One of the Avengers had obviously hacked
into the military's radio frequency and impersonated the general's
voice. Most likely it was the Iron Rose. Major Glenn Talbot was not
some mindless automaton. He knew what he had seen. The Hulk was a
menace that needed to end, and the glory would belong to Talbot.
This is more like what I expected.
% Too much testosterone, and he really has no line on Betty here since
Banner hasn't been disappearing at regular intervals like in the Marvel
universe. He eventually did crack up, though. Died and stayed dead too,
freakishly enough. Wasn't even a graphic death. His War Machine ship
blew up with him in it, so there was no body to find.
Bruce Banner arrived at the scene just in time to see the Hulk
lumbering toward the fallen Mandroid. While Talbot had made his
contempt for Banner known from the outset, the doctor had ignored it
for the most part. He was used to being picked on since his college
days. He didn't get angry. Not anymore. Becoming angry reminded him
of his father. Made him like his father. Better to keep the anger
bottled up, ignore it until it went away.
Besides, Betty wouldn't like him when he's angry.
% Ha! Nice one.
"Hulk is good at listening. When tree fall in forest, Hulk knows he
can hear it, even if he not there to hear it."
Most profound.
% Hulk's dialogue lends itself to humor, which this chapter had little of.
"So long as he's in Japan, he's a Japanese problem, though." Irie
held a hand up to keep the general from protesting further. "I'll
personally see to it our government guarantees yours that if there is
some further complication from the Hulk arises later on, we won't
blame you for it. I'll have someone contact your embassy staff with
the proper paperwork by morning. So pack up your things, General.
This operation is {cancelled : canceled}."
Ross grumbled under his breath, but ordered his men to begin
dismantling all of the equipment for shipment back to base.
I imagine Banner's already dismantled the Gamma Imploder.
% Yep. He and the Hulkbusters have had their one and only appearence.
The Banner subplot from chapter 1 is officially taken care of.
"I will," Kaori shuddered. She'd prefer a date with both Saeba twins
then spend one minute longer around Irie Soyozoh. Worse, she had a
terrible feeling she'd be meeting him again whether she wanted to or
not.
Since she has to work with them, a date would be superfluous.
Are Irie Soyozoh and the Hounds from another manga or anime I haven't
seen yet?
% Geobreeders. A very entertaining series, IMO. Also well done in that
the OVAs were original material that flowed seemlessly with the manga,
rather than a rewrite or change in flavor And yeah, they'll become a
factor in Act III, most likely. The reasoning will become clear after a
while.
% Thanks for the comments. They were very helpful.
DB Sommer
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