Just a short comment and no line by line c&c.

I won't try to comment on grammar, spelling or the correctness of
the description of Japanese culture as I am not really qualified for it.

First I must say that I actually like the idea and think that it has
promise. The story appears to be reasonably well written.

The chapters however are very long. They are not boring or anything,
but having over 200kB of story before the "Mission" begins in
earnest is perhaps a bit too long.

There also is a lot of ooc-ness going on.

I understand that the characters are all "grown up" and that the
difference to how they used to act is intentional, but it still is a bit
disconcerting. The only thing really tying it to the original manga
are the names and some cliches often used in fan-fiction
continuations.

Perhaps the occasional acknowledgment from the characters
themselves could help the reader further suspend their disbelief
here. Something like "Who would have thought back when we were
kids that we would end up as cops of all things." Some comments
thrown in that x really has grown up when x does something he/she
would never have done as a child. Perhaps even some reverting
of how they used to act to help differentiate the characters who now act
all very much a like.

Everyone acting all surprised about the way Nabiki is acting when
she is asking for help would be easier to understand if we had been
given some previous example of how "Nabiki does not ask for help".

As it is now the story has a very large original quotient. Hopefully it
will get more of a Ranma feel once every one starts using their
special talents for their impossible mission.

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