Warning: some people are not going to like this chapter. I have accepted 
this. C&C welcome anyway.

THE TAO OF OSAKA-SENSEI
An Azumanga Daioh Fanfiction
by Michael Hopcroft

Episode 2: The Girl Has (A) Class

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Azumanga Daioh. That is owned by Kiyohiko Azuma 
and his representatives, ADV Manga and ADV Films.

1.Meet Osaka-sensei

Satori Kimura got into her seat. Her first day of high school. How bad 
could it be? Everyone at her middle school had told her she should have 
chosen another school, that going to the school where her father taught 
would be a bad idea. But she had persevered, her grades and exams had 
been spot-on, and here she was sitting in her class.

�Hey, Sa-chan!� Satori looked up to see one of her friends from middle 
school,Aoi Yuroshi, walk into the room. �So we're in the same class. 
Glad to see a friendly face!�

�Yeah, great to see you too, Aoi! I just wish I wasn't getting so many 
odd looks from the senpais.�

�Odd looks? What do you mean?�

�Well, not at first sight, But whenever I introduce myself the seniors 
back away, like I was some kind of leper. It really creeps me out! I 
just hope the teachers don't do the same thing, or I'll be in real trouble.�

�Hey, if you'd had leprosy I would have caught it long ago. Buck up! 
Anyway, the teacher's coming.�

A young woman in a not-very-formal suit walked into the room. �Someone 
left the door open.� she said. �I'd better close it.� The woman then 
closed the door and walked up to the podium.

One of the boys called out �Stand!� The class stood, seeming to have 
found its way into some sort of order. �Bow!� the boy called, and the 
class bowed.

�That's awful nice of ya'.� the woman said.

�Sit.�, the boy said, and everyone took their seats.

The woman took out a piece of chalk and wrote out two names on the 
board, side by side. One was �Ayumu Kasgua�, and the other, next to it, 
was simply �Osaka�.

�Osaka?�, Satori asked herself. �What does Osaka have to do with anything?�

�Hello, and welcome to the first day of high school,� the woman said. 
�I'm your homeroom teacher for Class 1-4. My name's Ayumu Kasuga. Nice 
to meet'cha.� She then looked around at the students. �I don't have a 
lot to say right away on the first day, so I'll start by takin' the 
roll. Unless there are any questions....�

Aoi raised her hand. �Sensei, why did you write �Osaka� on the board? 
Are you from Osaka?�

�Yeah. In fact, for years now everyone's been calling me �Osaka� because 
I came from Osaka. All my friends call me that, all the other teachers 
call me that. I have a feelin' that someone's gonna start asking for, 
for....� she looked at the board and sighed, �for Kasuga-sensei, and 
I'll end up lookin' around wonderin' who the heck they're talkin' about. 
So I figured that if you guys called me Osaka too there'd be less 
confusion. Now, let me take roll. Kahata?�

�Here.�

�Kimura.�

Satori raised her hand. �Here.�

�Didn't you used to be a little girl in a photograph with Kimura-sensei 
a few years back?� Osaka asked.

Satori blushed. �Well, I imagine there had to have been some pictures 
taken, but I don't see....�

�I knew it, you're Kimura's daughter! He showed me your picture when I 
was a second-year.�

�He did?� now Satori was seriously embarrassed.

�He was a really proud father. Still is, in fact. I'm really pleased to 
meet'cha!�

�S...sure.�

�Fine. Let me move on. Kubato?�

�Here.�

2.Family Matters

Homeroom had mainly consisted the first day of organizing the class. 
Satori was surprised that she had been elected one of the Class 
Representatives, despite the fact that she had not especially angled for 
the job. Her assistant was a tall, cute boy named Hiroshi Jigobuchi, and 
she wondered if they would get along. Osaka-sensei, as she found herself 
calling her new homeroom teacher, had handled things nicely, albeit 
somewhat distantly. Shew wondered if this was a person she could deal with.

�Sensei,� she said walking up to Osaka as the period ended, �Can we talk 
for a moment? Something is worrying me.�

�Already? It's only the first day of high school, Satori-san. Why are 
you worried?�

�Well, it's the seniors. They're being mean to me for some reason, and I 
can't think of anything I could have done to them.�

�You'd never met any of 'em, had you? No, of course you hadn't. It could 
be hazing, that still happens sometimes.�

�I don't think so. They just start avoiding me when they hear my name.�

Osaka's face dawned with sudden realization. �I know! It must be that 
you're Kimura's daughter, and they don't want to deal with you because 
of your dad.�

�What's wrong with my dad?� Satori asked. �He's a good dad. And I'm sure 
he's a good teacher!�

�Any teacher's kid is gonna have that problem, but there are quite a few 
students here who don't like your father very much.�

�If I don't want to run into people who don't like my father, who should 
I avoid then?�

�People in skirts. Your father likes high school girls a lot, and 
sometimes he's been known to say and do things that upset them. I don't 
think he means to, but it happens that way.�

�Really? You're not making this up to make me feel bad?�

�Why would I want you to feel bad, Satori-chan? I don't think your 
father's a bad man. And as far as I know he hasn't actually done 
anything totally improper. It's just that � well, sometimes people come 
across as odd to other people, ya' know? Like people tellin'; me I'm weird.�

Satori stood back. �You're not weird, sensei!�

�Of course I'm weird. Everyone tells me I'm weird, and these are people 
who have no reason to lie. But you know what, Satori-chan? It's OK. As 
long as I can do what I need to and want to, it's OK that people think 
I'm weird. And sometimes it can be fun.�

�Fun....�

�Now your father sometimes says and does strange things, but he's a good 
teacher. And he's been a good father to you and a good husband to your 
mom, right?�

Satori nodded. �Yes, he has. He's always been kind and supportive to 
both of us. I couldn't ask for better.�

�Then that's the image of your dad you want to hold onto, ain't it?�

�Yeah � I mean, yes. Yes it is.�

�So if the seniors mess with 'ya, walk away from 'em. Maybe have a nice 
long cry when you get home to get it out of your system, and then put it 
behind 'ya and go on with your day. If ya' stick to your real friends 
and never let 'em down, they'll stick to you and you'll be fine. I know 
this because that's how I got through this school. You can do it too.� 
Osaka noticed that Satori's eyes were welling up with tears. �Was that 
the wrong thing?�

Then Osaka noticed that Satori, despite the tears, was smiling. �Thank 
you, sensei! Thank you! That's the nicest thing a teacher has ever said 
to me! I won't forget it!�

Osaka smiled. �I'd better go to my next class,� she said. �Your father 
has you guys next period for Classics. Good luck. See ya later!� Osaka 
left the room, and Aoi placed a gentle hand on Satori's shoulder.

�What was all that about?� she asked.

�I'm going to love this school,� Satori said, �even if it kills me!�

3.Lunchtime Double-Entendres

Osaka took a seat at her desk in the Teacher's Lounge for lunch period. 
�I am tired,� she said to no-one in particular. �I wish I could take a 
nap. But then I wouldn't get to eat lunch. But then, if I eat lunch, I 
won't have time for a nap and I'll be really tired by the end of the 
day. Decisions, decisions....�

Yukari walked up to her desk. �Hey, Osaka-sensei. How's your first day 
so far?�

�Not bad�, Osaka replied, suppressing a yawn. �But I sure am tired. And 
it's only half the day.�

�Tired, eh? You sure you're cut out for this line of work, Osaka?�

�Well, yeah, I think I am.�

Nyamo came up and placed a can on Osaka's desk. �Here you go, Osaka, � 
she said, �I figured you needed a pick-me-up so I got you a cola from 
the machine. And here's one for you, Yukari.�

Yukari grabbed the drink before Nyamo could set it down. �You're being 
so nice to her, Nyamo. Why?�

�Why not? You should be nice to her too, Yukari. Just think of the perks 
you can get.�

�Perks? What perks?�

�Just think of the inside video game info you can get, because Osaka's 
boyfriend works in the industry! I know you love having that kind of an 
edge.�

Osaka chipped in. �That's true. Taka gets a lot of the new equipment 
before it's released, so he can test it and program for it. And he gets 
to play with it afterwards, even with me.�

Yukari pepped up. "So, you two play games together?"

"Yes, all the time. Taka's really good."

"What's your favorite game?" Yukari asked. "Final Fantasy? Devil May Cry?"

"I don't know about a favorite, but I really like Hide the Sausage."

A moment of silence followed.

Osaka met her senpais� blank, shocked stares with a quizzical look. 
"You've never played Hide the Sausage? I'll show you..."

'NO!" cried Yukari and Nyamo, for once in one voice.

"You've never played...."

Yukari cried out "I'll have you know that I am a highly skilled Hide the 
Sausage player!� She then noticed Nyamo glaring at her and added �I just 
don't get a lot of practice."

"Then you and Nyamo can play."

"No we can't! We don't have the equipment!"

"I do, it's at home right now. After work we can all play together."

"WHAT?"

"It's a really fun game. You're in a castle, and vicious Glorbs are 
trying to steal all the food. You have to conceal all the sausages in 
places where the Glorbs can't find them. But don't use the alcoves on 
level twelve -- the curtains don't work." Osaka looked at Yukari, who 
was giving Osaka one of the oddest stares imaginable. "What?"

"WHO makes a video game and calls it HIDE THE SAUSAGE?"

"You mean it's trademarked already?"

Nyamo shrugged her shoulders. "What other games do you like, Osaka."

"Ride 'Em Cowgirl."

Yukari smirked. "Oh, is that a rodeo game where you're competing to see 
if you can stay on the bull longest?"

"No, that's when I sit on Taka's...."

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Osaka shrugged her shoulders. �OK. Say, why is Nyamo turning purple?�

�You have to ask?�

4.Day's End

The last period of the day was over. Osaka had decided to go straight to 
the teacher's room to do the end-of-the-day paperwork. She found herself 
wondering where Yukari was off to. Then she saw Kimura at his desk, also 
working on papers. She decided to have a word with him. �Kimura-senpai?� 
she asked. �Can I have a word with ya?�

Kimura pulled out his chair to face her. �You were cuter in high school, 
you know.� he said. �What can I do for you?�

�You know your daughter is in my homeroom, don'tcha?�

�Yes. Is she going to be all right?�

�I think so, but I wanted to talk to you about it. She's been getting 
trouble from her senpais, you know. People makin' fun of her and not 
wantin' to be around her.�

�Why? Is it because of me?� Kimura looked up at Osaka expectantly. Osaka 
did not answer right away. An awkward moment passed. Kimura turned his 
head away. �If you don't know what to say, Osaka-san, then I think it is 
about me.�

�I don't know what to say because I'm not sure.....�

�Osaka, I'm a man who says what's on his mind. And sometimes it gets me 
into trouble. But my family... my family.... You understand I'd rather 
tear my heart out than hurt Satori-chan? There's nothing in the world 
more important than her to me. Nothing. Maybe I shouldn't have had her 
come to this school. Maybe I should have asked her to go somewhere else, 
for her sake.�

Osaka sat down beside him. �Kimura-senpai, my dad wasn't a high school 
teacher. But I can tell you that if he had been, I would have wanted to 
go to the school where he taught. I would have felt so proud to see him 
at the podium giving his lesson, and to say to myself �My dad is 
teaching me. He's doin' what he's always done for me.�.And I would have 
thought to myself how wonderful it was that I had a father with the 
courage to do that. I think that in spite of all the taunting that's how 
Satori feels. I think that's why she wanted to come to our school.� She 
handed Kimura a tissue, as she could tell he was about to cry. �Don't 
worry, senpai. I'll look after your daughter. She is my student, after 
all. But you should tone things down, for her sake. The only reason 
people think you're perverted is that you act like one, even thought 
you're really not.�

�But I like high school girls a lot, Osaka I really like them.�

�All you do is look. Remember that girl you were fixated on when I was a 
student here, Kaori? Your attentions really creeped her out, but you 
never laid a hand on her. You had a lot of power over her and the other 
girls that you could have done horrible things with if you'd been a real 
pervert, or a real bad person. But you didn't. Kaori said so herself.�

�How is Kaorin, anyway? After graduation I never heard a word � and 
based on what you just said I probably never will.�

�Kaori's fine. She never did land her �Miss Sakaki�, but she and Chihiro 
are doing well. They're junior partners in an interior design firm now, 
and roommates. They're quiet about it, but I'm pretty sure they're a 
couple now too.�

�Is that so? Does that mean I drove Kaorin away from men completely?�

�It doesn't work that way, but then again I'm pretty much straight so I 
wouldn't know. Anyway, Kimura-senpai, you watch yourself. If everyone 
takes care, Satori will be fine.�

Kimura nodded, still dabbing his eyes with the tissue. Osaka returned to 
her own desk, only to be met by Yukari.

5.Yukari's Misinterpretation

�So, how was the sum total of your first day teaching real classes?� 
Yukari asked. �Everything you hoped for and wanted? Or would you rather 
stay home and do the hausfrau bit?�

�Teaching's good,� Osaka said, �I'll be fine. And so will my class.�

�Any plans?�

�Yeah. Taka's picking me up and we're gonna have dinner.�

�Oh, you're having dinner tonight?�

�I like to have dinner every night. Then we're going to go home and play 
some games. Then we're gonna go to bed, and eventually we'll go to sleep.�

�OK, Osaka, how come a gorgeous young woman like me can't get a date and 
you get to sleep with a man every night?�

�Where else would I sleep? There's only room for the one futon in the 
apartment, ya know, and I only send Taka to the couch if he's done 
something really bad.�

Yukari suddenly started smirking as a wicked thought crossed her mind. 
She knew how to put Osaka in her place! �This Taka must be a real geek, 
mustn't he? An animator for video games, right? He wears thick glasses, 
doesn't he?�

�Well, yeah, he does wear glasses. But they're nice glasses.�

�I knew it! Pocket protector, prototypical nerd all the way. He must 
have been really desperate!�

�It's not like that at all, Yukari-senpai! You shouldn't insult people 
you've never met that way, ya' know! It ain't proper!�

�It's OK if it's the truth, and face it, Osaka, if you could land him 
how great a guy could he be?�

�Here!� Osaka said. She was holding up a picture. �Does this guy look 
desperate?�

Yukari took the picture into her hand and looked at it. It was a fairly 
standard two-shot. On the left was a smiling, happy-looking Osaka On the 
right was a young man who looked a bit taller than she was, fairly 
athletic-looking, with a nice face framed by a pair of wire-rimmed 
glasses with a thin, neatly trimmed mustache. �this � this is Taka?�

�He's shaved off the mustache since the picture was taken, but yeah. 
This was taken on my graduation trip to Okinawa. Not really a honeymoon 
since we're not officially married, but we did go off together by 
ourselves and have a great time..�

�And this guy, this hunk, he actually wants you? He wants you?�

�He wanted me, I wanted him, we got each other. Worked out nice that 
way. Otherwise the drawing incident would have had a really embarassing 
ending. Now I'd better do my lesson plans for tomorrow. Don't want to 
keep Taka waiting at the gate.�

Yukari's shoulders slumped. �Yeah, right. Here's the picture back.� She 
handed back the photograph, which Osaka tucked away. �Lesson plans. 
Yeah. That's the ticket.� Yukari sat down at her desk. �Damn! Three days 
ago I was mad that she was even here! Now I'm so jealous I could scream! 
There must be something wrong with me....� Then a thought sturck Yukari. 
�Wait a minute.... drawing incident?�

TO BE CONTINUED

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