Fallen out of the loop here again, but here's my first attempted Naruto fic. 
  Hope you like it.


Standard Disclaimer:  All Naruto characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto-sama 
and are in no way being used for profit or with permission.

Author's Note:  This story takes place during the three years that Naruto is 
off training.  I haven't seen the anime yet, but I belive that's during the 
same time as the incredibly long filler area.


Sand Beetles

A Naruto One-shot by Dragonboy



In the village of Konoha, Temari, sibling of the recently appointed Kazekage 
and all around badass kunoichi of the Sand, was plotting dastardly plots of 
evil, painful vengeance against a certain super-genius ninja.

"That lazy-ass bum!" she muttered as she slammed her fist repeatedly against 
the trunk of the tree that she was currently leaning on.  "'I'll meet you 
here at noon for lunch' he says.  What a crock of crap!  For his sake, he'd 
better not show up at all, or I swear he'll be on the wrong end of my fan!"  
She grimaced while taking a few practice swings with said fan.  "Oh yeah, 
they think Gaara's vicious, well they haven't seen anything until-"

"Excuse me," she heard someone call out.  "But could you please take your 
senseless ramblings elsewhere?"

The Sand nin looked around in wonder, then looked up, finally spotting the 
source of the voice.

Lying on a branch only a few meters above her was an unrecognizable figure.  
The voice was obviously male, but with the high coat collar, dark 
sunglasses, and long hood covering all distinguishable aspects of his face, 
Temari failed to recognize him.

Already in a foul mood by having to wait on Shikamaru, she was none too 
happy to know that someone had been eavesdropping on her, and to make 
matters worse, that she hadn't sensed his presence in the slightest.

"How long have you been up there?" she asked.

"...Since before you arrived," he answered after a long pause.

"And you've just been spying on me this whole time?"

The boy detected a rising anger in the woman's voice.  "Well...while I admit 
that I tried my best to ignore you by sleeping, you were making it rather 
difficult."

She sneered up at the boy as she placed her hands on her hips in a defiant 
pose.  "Well, excuse me!  How inconsiderate of me to disturb your rest like 
that, sir!"

"Apology accepted.  Please go away now."

Now if there was one thing that could be said for certain about Aburame 
Shino, it was that he really enjoyed his solitude.  He shied away from large 
gatherings when at all possible, and even kept to himself within his own 
ninja squad.  Hinata he could deal with easily, and Kurenai-sensei was no 
big problem either, for that matter.  But Kiba...well, Kiba was about a 
hundred times too loud, out-going and obnoxious for the beetle master's 
liking.

And now, the one day in a long time where he'd had no team practices and/or 
missions to worry about, his brief moments of silence and solitude were 
being taken from him by this annoyingly loud woman.

"Look here, punk," Temari shouted.  "Don't give me that holier-than-thou 
attitude.  I was asked to meet someone here and I'm not leaving until he 
shows up!  So what's stopping you from going somewhere else, huh?"

Shino stared down at her with great disinterest.  Or it could have been 
irritation.  Hell, he could have been smiling cheerfully and no one would 
have been the wiser.  "Well in all fairness...I was here first."

Temari snorted.  "You're just looking for an ass kicking, aren't you, tough 
guy?"

"I'd have thought that I'd made it clear by asking you to leave that I 
wanted nothing of the sort from you.  I can't very well enjoy my day off 
with a loudmouth girl like you around, so either leave now...or if you're 
feeling confident, force my hand and see what happens."

"I dare you to climb out of that tree and say that again!" Temari demanded.

"Now you're the one who's looking for an 'ass kicking'," Shino informed her.

The two glared at each other for several moments before Temari gave a 
frustrated huff and turned away.  "Whatever.  As soon as Shikamaru shows up, 
you and I won't ever have to-"

"Shikamaru and the rest of his team left on a mission this morning."

Temari's body seemed to lock up as she slowly turned back toward Shino.

Wow, that's a new look, Shino thought to himself after seeing the 'look' 
that Temari was now giving him.  He'd never actually had one quite like that 
directed toward him before, but every male fiber in his body told him that 
he should be thanking his personal guardian angels that he was out of the 
kunoichi's attack range.

"He's...what?"

Had Shino not been the overly cool and collected guy that he was, he would 
have gulped.  "Like I said; Tsunade-sama sent them on a mission.  They've 
been gone for hours."

In one swift motion, Temari grabbed her giant fan and struck the trunk of 
the tree with it.  Not enough to topple it, but enough to knock Shino from 
his perch and send him unceremoniously to the ground.  Before the startled 
boy even had a chance to recover, he felt himself roughly raised to his feet 
by his collar.  The next thing he knew, he was face-to-face with a very 
pissed-off Temari.

"Why the HELL didn't you tell me that thirty minutes ago, dammit!?"

Shino slowly readjusted his glasses and brushed the front of his coat off.  
"And how were you expecting me to know that the sole reason for your being 
here was to meet with Nara Shikamaru?"

"You could have asked!  I've been standing here for almost an hour!"

"My apologies.  Had I known that simply telling you would get you to leave 
sooner, I most certainly would have.  But now that you know, I can safely 
assume that you will be leaving now, correct?"

Temari did indeed turn to leave.  Unfortunately, she didn't release her hold 
on Shino's coat collar, choosing instead to drag the startled boy along 
behind her.

"...Excuse me-"

"Quiet!" she shouted without looking back at him.  "I was promised a free 
lunch today and I'll be damned if I'm gonna miss out on it because of you!"

Shino's eyebrow rose above his shades.  "Your logic baffles me."

"Don't be dumb!  You owe me for wasting so much of my time and you're gonna 
pay up, pal!"

Shino slowly scratched the side of his head.  "But I don't-"

"I SAID BE QUIET!"

And Shino was quiet.  He was quiet the entire time he was being dragged from 
the forest into the village, and while he was being dragged down the busy 
streets while people stared in wonder.  In fact, the only words he spoke the 
whole way was when he was dragged past Kiba and Hinata who were passing by 
the diner that Temari had apparently picked out for herself.

"Are you okay, Shino-kun?" Hinata asked.

"What the heck are you doing, man?" Kiba called after him.

"Call the police," was all that he had time to say before disappearing 
inside the diner.  His two teammates stared after him in silence.

"Um...w-what do we do, Kiba-kun?" Hinata asked.

Kiba grabbed her hand and started running down the street as fast as he 
could.  "We go find a camera!  This has to be good!"

Back in the diner, Temari found an empty booth and flung Shino into the 
seat, seating herself on the opposite side.  Shino looked about to try to 
make an escape, but a death glare from the sand kunoichi made him change his 
mind.

A waitress showed up a moment later, smiling warmly at them.  "Good 
afternoon, Shino-kun," she greeted.  "Out on a date?"

Shino casually pushed his sunglasses up by their bridge before muttering, 
"How insulting."

Temari scowled at him.  "And you're really something to be proud of, huh?"

"Let's not forget who forced who to come here with them," he reminded her.

The waitress looked back and forth between the two, not completely sure what 
to make of them.  "Well anyway, what can I get you two?"

Temari grinned wickedly.  "Bring me the most expensive thing on your menu, 
along with the most expensive beverage.  And be ready with the dessert menu, 
too.  I feel like treating myself," she said, smirking at Shino after 
hearing a small snort escape him.

"And what will you have, Shino-kun?" she asked after writing down Temari's 
order.

Shino remained silent for a while as he buried his hands back into his 
pockets.  "Tea," he finally said.

The waitress walked away, leaving the two together in a long, almost 
painful, silence.  Temari stared at Shino while he stared off elsewhere; it 
was hard to tell where due to his glasses.  Something about his name had 
been familiar to her from somewhere...

"Wait a minute," she said.  "You're that bug guy who beat my brother back at 
the Chunin exams, aren't you?"

"Indeed," he answered without looking at her.

"He told me you only won because you attacked him from behind."

"Your brother is a sore loser."

"Feh!"

Another silence.

"What's your deal, anyway?" Temari asked about five minutes later.

Shino finally turned back to her.  "Elaborate."

She gestured towards his coat, hood and glasses.  "I mean, what's with the 
getup?  You look like some sort of vampire trying to hide from the sun."  A 
wicked smirk appeared on her face.  "Or are you just really ugly under 
there?"

Shino adjusted his glasses once again.  "You're hardly one to be commenting 
on other people's clothing."

Temari's smirk instantly turned into a snarl.  "And just what is that 
supposed to mean?"

Shino shrugged.  "Nothing.  I was just always under the impression that 
women wore clothes that accentuated their feminine figures, whereas yours 
tend to give you the look of a tree trunk."

Temari's fan was out and ready to strike just as the waitress returned with 
their meals, and after a few seconds of deliberation, she sat back down and 
quickly dug into her meal, which consisted of soup, four sticks of takoyaki, 
six steamed dumplings, and a large bowl of beef, rice, and vegetables, while 
Shino looked on, undid his collar, and began sipping his tea slowly.

"One would think that you hadn't eaten in days," he commented.

She swallowed and stuck her tongue out at him.  "What can I say?  Food 
tastes so much better when it's free."  She continued to glower at him as 
she dipped her spoon back into her soup.

"STOP!" Shino commanded.

And Temari stopped, mainly because that was the loudest Shino had been since 
she met him.  "What?  What's wrong?" she asked in concern.

Shino reached over and very carefully plucked a small black object from her 
soup.  "You almost ate this poor thing," he informed her.

Temari's face turned green in disgust at the sight of the beetle in the 
boy's hand, but it quickly turned red with rage.

"You put that thing in my soup, you freak!"

"Don't be insane," Shino said while stroking the beetle with his index 
finger.  "Sacrificing a defenseless insect on you wouldn't be worth it, no 
matter how satisfying your reaction might have been."

Temari was fuming at this point.  "You are purposely trying to ruin my day!"

Shino tucked the insect away.  Now that his collar was open, Temari was 
finally able to see the near-emotionless expression on his face that matched 
the normal tone in his voice, although she was positive that she could see 
the outlines of a smirk forming on his lips.

"Not intentionally, no.  Although, seeing as how you've managed to ruin my 
day, it would only be fair that I returned the favor."  And with that, he 
calmly went back to sipping his tea.

Still seething, the kunoichi grudging pushed the bowl of soup to the side 
and continued eating.

The two teens continued eating in silence until Temari's enormous meal, 
dessert included, was finished, at which point the waitress returned with 
their bill.

"Alright kids, that'll come to 4,700 yen plus 150 for the tea."

Temari gave Shino the smuggest look she could muster.  "Well, what are you 
waiting for, bug-boy?  Pay her."

Shino rolled his eyes, which of course, went unseen, then withdrew his hand 
from his pocket and dropped two small coins into the waitress's hand.  The 
two women stared at the solitary 50 yen piece and 100 yen piece.

"Well uh...that takes care of the tea, but you still owe the 4,700 for the 
lady's meal."

Temari shot another glare at the beetle master.  "You think I'm gonna let 
you back out of this at the last second?  Not a chance!"  She again 
unsheathed her fan and held it centimeters from his nose.  "Now quit fooling 
around and pay her!"

"I can't."

"AND WHY NOT?!"

"I'm broke," he said bluntly.  "If you had taken the time to listen to me 
earlier, you would ha-aACK!"

Temari looked positively sinister as she lifted Shino off the ground by the 
neck.  "You little bastard!  I don't have any money either!"

The waitress glanced back and forth between the two, looking very confused.  
"So you can't pay?"

Temari dropped the struggling boy and turned to the waitress with a sheepish 
grin.  "Well uh..."
-=-=-=-=-

"I...hate you...so much that I can't even put it into words!" Temari seethed 
as she stacked another dish on top of the growing pile beside her.

Shino snorted as he passed her another clean dish to dry.  "Believe it or 
not, I'm not particularly fond of you right now, either."

The two were now, as one would expect, in the kitchen of the restaurant, 
working to pay off the money that they didn't have.  Not surprisingly, 
neither was in a good mood, and every other worker was taking extra care to 
stay on the other end of the kitchen from them.

"This is your fault!" Temari growled.

"I think not!  If you had just listened to me before-"

"Well if you would have told me that Shikamaru wasn't-"

"How was I supposed to know-?"

"You were only spying on me the entire time-"

"I was TRYING to sleep, you loudmouthed psychopath!"

"OH, a psychopath, am I?!"

"Yeah!"

"OH YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

And suddenly...

"..."

"..."

"You...you kissed me," Temari said in shock.

Shino slowly reached up and touched his lips.  "N-nonsense.  If anything, 
you're the one who kissed ME."

They were silent for what seemed like forever before the shock wore off and 
Temari smirked.  "Just couldn't help yourself, huh?  And after all that crap 
about me not being feminine enough."

"I did no such thing," Shino mutter indignantly.  "I am, however, rather 
surprised at your insuppressible attraction for supposed 'ugly' people."

"You ARE ugly!"

"And yet you kissed me."

"YOU kissed ME!"

"Um, guys?"

"WHAT?" they shouted at the trembling waitress.

"Could you please uh...take this outside?  The dishes are fine, but you're 
starting to scare our customers."

"Gladly!" Temari snarled.  She grabbed Shino by the back of his coat and 
began dragging him along out the door.

The other workers breathed a small sigh once the door closed behind the two.

"I don't remember that Aburame boy being quite so hostile before," one of 
them mentioned.

"Yeah, I guess love'll do that to you," another commented.

"Love?" a third asked.  "Are you kidding?"

"Well, they kissed, didn't they?"
-=-=-=-=-

Once they were back onto the street, Temari flung Shino away and unsheathed 
her fan.  "All right, beetle-boy.  You and me, right here, right now!"

Shino picked himself up and gave Temari what was probably a glare.  "Can't 
you just go away and let me try to enjoy what's left of my day?"

"After the hell you've put me through today?  Fat chance, pal!  I'm giving 
you the ass kicking that I promised before!"

Before Shino could respond, the Sand kunoichi swung her fan in a wide arch, 
sending a powerful whirlwind in his direction.  Rather than trying to avoid 
it, Shino just stood there as a multitude of black insects began pouring 
from his body.  They began attaching themselves to each other, forming 
crude-looking ropes from their master's hands and feet and anchoring him to 
the ground.

When the wind hit, Shino remained where he was standing, but his tall coat 
collar was blown open, his hood blown back, and his glasses blown clean off 
his face.

The winds died down and the bugs began retreating into the hidden confines 
of Shino's body.  Seeing an opportunity, Temari wound back and swung again, 
only this time, there was no whirlwind to follow it.  Confused, she glanced 
at her fan and nearly freaked when she saw it was covered with hundreds of 
Shino's black insects.

She furiously flung the weapon away and stormed up to the now visibly 
smirking Shino, noting for the first time his spiky, light-brown hair and 
equally light-brown eye.  They glared at one another for a few moments in 
silence.

"You find me that interesting?" Shino asked, finally breaking the silence.

Temari smirked.  "Just noticing how right I was about you hiding your face 
in shame, is all."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah, it is!"

"Oh yeah?"

"YEAH!"

And once again...

"..."

"..."

"Your kissing ability is atrocious," Shino commented after coming up for 
air.

"Your breath smells like decomposing cockroaches," Temari retorted before 
pulling him back down toward her.
-=-=-=-=-

On a rooftop, a faint clicking and whirling sound went unheard by all but 
the roof's two occupants.

"Oh man, this is even better than I thought it would be," Kiba laughed as he 
pressed the camera shutter as fast as possible.

Hinata stared down at her silent friend, who had yet to break off the 
lip-lock with the Sand ninja.  She smiled happily that her teammate had 
apparently found himself a girlfriend, then gave a small disapproving look 
at her other teammate.

"Kiba-kun, you really shouldn't be doing that."

Kiba's grin just grew wider.  "Yeah, I know, but it'll be funny as hell when 
we show 'em to Shino later!"
-=-=-=-=-

The next day...

"You need to learn to curb your temper," Shino muttered.

Temari stuck her tongue out at him.  "Hey, that jerk thought he could get 
away with taking those pictures of me, so I taught him a lesson."

"I believe the 'lesson' was learned after the first seventeen hits.  You 
realize that him being in the hospital is going to be bad for my team if 
we're assigned a mission any time soon."

"Look punk, don't go telling me how to take care of my problems.  The 
methods that I use work just fine!"

"Of course.  I wish I could solve all of MY problems by beating them until 
they were crippled, too."

Temari stepped in front of him, barring his path.  "Just what are you 
getting at, huh?"

"Only that-"  Shino opened his collar, pulled off his glasses and looked 
Temari in the eyes.  "Your a short-tempered lunatic who should seriously 
consider counseling."

"Oh yeah?"

"...Yeah."

And...I think we all know what this led to.

End Part 1

Hope it didn't suck too badly.  I have other odd pairings like this on the 
shelf for another time.  But for now, I need to catch up on some C&C.

Til next time. ^_^
Dragonboy

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