Hi, Matthew!

Thanks for taking the time to write. It's always good to hear from someone, 
especially someone who has your own unique perspective. I'd guess not too 
many people would read my little fic unless they already liked the shows in 
question. ^_^

I liked this a lot. This surprised me because I dislike both SM and YST.

I suppose by today's standards they have not exactly aged well. Both shows 
are pretty old, and I am more than willing to admit that the dubs for both 
series were... uh... atrocious, in places. Still, I like them, flaws and 
all. My only objection to YST was that there didn't seem to be any 
fanfiction for it that was not either a Mary-Sue self-insert or a yaoi 
lemon. XP

Maybe some of this will be useful for you.

I'm sure it will. Let's take a look and see, shall we?

        Once, long ago, the entire earth realm had been united under the
banner of the great King Hyperion. His people had called him the Golden
Emperor, and his dominion had stretched from one horizon to the other.
Concerned with the welfare of his people, he marched his armies even 

into

their dreams, and quelled the various beings he found in that strange
land.

Okay, That line is why I read this whole fic. That is one of the best 
into's
I've seen in a very long time. Oo rah, Chambers style

Why, thank you. I'm trying to have the past sections and the present 
sections of my fic have different "feels" to them, so I can avoid having to 
put big flashing tags that say which was which.

I've been told that I have an odd obsession with the backstory of SM. I find 
it to be a lot more interesting than some of the actual plot of the show, 
honestly. If someone wanted to do a series about the rise and fall of the 
Moon Kingdom and nothing else, I would watch it. Heck, I would *write* it. 
^_^

Why should they attack
Metallia, Serenity had asked, when she had done nothing to provoke it?
Surely there had to be a more peaceful way. After all, it had been Orcus
and Hyperion who had begun the assault. Metallia could not be blamed for
defending herself. Escalating the conflict was out of the question.

Liked this whole segment. Had a kind of epic flow to it. Good lay out of 
the
characters, can see the seeds of Hyperion's demise, generally speaking a
nice setup.

Again, thanks. I was a little worried about having so much backstory and 
flashback at the start of the chapter, but most of the responses I've been 
getting have been very positive. It's good to know that people liked my 
little explanation of how things got started, because I had to juggle a 
*lot* of backstory to fit the Samurai Troopers into the world of the Sailor 
Senshi.

YST has a less detailed and involved backstory, so it's easier to work them 
into the Senshi's past than vice-versa. Now I just need to find a way to 
plotdump all of the backstory so my readers can get it. Hopefully it will 
stay in manageable chunks like this. ^_^

The formal prose refering to the past produces a nice
juxtaposition with the colloquial flow of the present.

Great! That's what I was going for, so it's really good to hear that it 
worked.

        "Lord Jadeite," Badamon wheezed, "I must insist-"

Badamon. Bad-ah man. Oh, he must be the good guy.

Of course - in his own twisted little mind, he's going good. The rest of the 
universe just happens to disagree.

And, yeah, what a name, huh? "Hi, I'm Bad Guy. Want to be friends?" ^_^

        "I don't have evil twin envy!" Ryo objected, sitting up on the

couch and glaring spitefully at Shuu. "I'm just saying that we've been
doing this for almost two days, now, and we're going in a bunch of 

damned

circles! Forget about Nise Suiko - let's just hit the streets, find some
youma, and pound some answers out of them!"

All right, this is the other thing I realy liked about this fic. I can
completely see a group of teenage heroes bickering just like this. MY
friends have bickered like this since we were teenagers. Keep this up

        "Oh, no," Shin said, suddenly bolting to his feet and casting a

worried glance at the door. "My God, Shuu - it's today, isn't it? Today
is the day that Luna...."

Was spayed?

This is one of the biggest issues in a cross-over: name reuse.

In YST, "Luna" was a young girl that met the Troopers in New York, developed 
a thing with Ryo, and then died tragically at the end of the "Gaiden" OAV. 
It was a big deal for them, since she was the first person they ever failed 
to protect or rescue. Really, Luna's death was the first time the Troopers 
ever failed, period.

In SM, of course, "Luna" is Usagi's bossy talking cat.

Making it worse is the fact that Ami's *first* boyfriend was named "Ryo", 
too.... :p

        "A good theory," Toshitada admitted, nodding to himself, "but the

O-Bon is not for several weeks. Also, I shudder to imagine what kind of
cruel and sadistic universe would consider *you* to be my family."

The same one that's going to have the end of the world in a few weeks? I
mean, long enough to get a good despair on, but not enough time to do a 
damn
thing about it.

Yeah, the end of the world has been planned for early September. Have a nice 
summer vacation!

Isn't that just like the universe to make the Troopers and the Senshi work 
overtime on their holidays? ^_~

        "I think I'm going to let you down, now," Toshitada said, 

raising


"You're a jackass and she doesn't like you."

LOL! ^_^

room increasing. What in the world was he doing here? Why wasn't he
anybody other than him?

Well, genealogically speaking...

As Goku once put it: "I wouldn't want to be me right now, but I don't have a 
choice!"

vulnerable. "Make sure to tell the cook that you'll be recieving some of

my special reserve tonight."

I have the oddest feeling she's setting him up. I hope she is.

It sure seems to be the overall opinion. People suspect Shale. Being alive 
when you are supposed to be dead is always a good way to make people think 
you're up to something. ^_^

        "So," he said, as he stretched out on the pillows next to her 

and

plucked a shred of meat from the meal on the table, "tell me again about
how you crushed Sailor Mercury with your bare hands...."

He was buttered up real well, and as a result did something real stupid.
Hmm.

Yep, Jadeite got played, here. Attractive girl, offering him total power, 
*and* she has a cool story about how she personally killed most of the 
people he does not like. Plus, there was food. ^_^

        "Well," a strange man in a straw hat said as he walked around 

the

corner to join them, "that seems to be the last of... oh! Sorry, didn't
mean to interrupt your little tea party, over here. Is it too late for a
scone? I'd have stopped by earlier, but I was busy FIGHTING ALL THOSE
MONSTERS."

I love that guy

Toshitada Koma lives to burst people's bubbles. Complaining is one of his 
few joys in life. Considering he is related to Lady Kayura, I think that bad 
tempers and sharp tongues just run in the family. ^_^

I always liked Kayura: "Two against one hardly seems fair. Maybe if I only 
used one hand...."

The rest is more of the same. I really like the lighthearted banter. The
fight scene kinda bored me, as it was a bunch of youma I don't care about
fighting some dude, and it ended pretty much as expected.

Yeah, I was mostly trying to introduce a few characters that will be more 
important later, and also give an idea of about where they all fit in the 
pecking order.

I mean, we know
you ain't going to pop Nise Suiko or Jadeite, so the ending is pretty
predetermined. I'd imagine I'd care more if I had read the previous
chapters, though, so maybe it's just me.

Well, you do have a point about the ending being pretty predetermined. 
Obviously, Nise Suiko can't just die on some abandoned rock somewhere - 
logically, we all know he's got at least one more fight with Shin Mouri in 
his future. It would be pretty lame to have Jadeite make his big comeback 
and die without ever running into the Senshi, too.

I guess reading the previous chapters might have helped, as Nise Suiko is 
being established as one of the heavier hitters in this fic. Most of this 
scene was about having him and Jadeite officially meet and establish how 
they would be relating to each other (not in a friendly manner).

The really emotional scene between
Ami and Ryo was fine; again, I'd probably care if I had read the previous
chapters.

Yeah, my chapters don't really work well on their own. I try to cover things 
so that new readers won't get lost, but there is a bit of previous knowledge 
that needs to be known. I guess that does reduce the impact of some of these 
scenes. :(

All in all, really good fic. You may want to work a bit on the pacing. One
long, knock-down drag-out fight towards the middle of a chapter is kinda
hard, especially considering the only other fighting was done real fast.

Good point. I always try to have a good blend of action with the rest of my 
scenes, but someone had pointed out that a lot of my chapters have been a 
bit back-loaded, lately. My habit is to always place the action at the end 
of the chapter, basically, but this fight wasn't really important enough to 
the overall plot to end the chapter on. It needed to be about where it was, 
but I agree that the pacing did suffer for it. I'll have to avoid that in 
the future.

Meh. The ratio of dialogue to description to action is usually pretty good.

Gee, thanks! I always do work on that, and sometimes I don't get it right. 
I've been known to over-describe things in the past, and my natural strength 
is dialogue, so I can sometimes slip and have way too much talking. I'm glad 
this one was more or less balanced. ^_^

-Morgan



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