[FFML] [C&C] [FIC] [Justice League] "Court Etiquette"

C&C for M. Scott Eiland's "Court Etiquette"
Things I liked:

Your Batman seems more approachable than the movie versions and recent comics. A little more like earlier versions. A bit Adam West without the cheese. It's a nice change of pace. The fic as a whole had a light humor about it and the airy mood made it a pleasure to read

Things I didn't like:

The beginning has a lot of exposition in it concerning the return of superman and other events. You might try revealing this more subtly, through dialogue maybe, or you might break up the information so it comes organically as Batman thinks about it. This might be part of a larger work, in which case it's fine, but I would also consider whether you need the bits about Superman at all. I'm a big one for cutting out what you don't need.

The fic seemed more like the beginning of something rather than a whole work. The crux of the fic, which as I understand it was that Batman was commisioned as Wonder Woman's guardian seemed a little low key for the Justice League. Maybe I read that part too fast or there's some back info I don't know, but it seemed like the fic ended just when things were moving along.

There are also a few minor things...Alfred says "Master Bruce" a little too often, and some of the character descriptions are a little off putting. I don't have a good idea of what the Amazon priestess looks like for example, and at one point you have Batman raise an eyebrow and I have trouble visualizing this, what with Batman wearing a cowl and everything.

Overall:

A breezy and fun fic, but it has a few problems. A little more work I think could make this a lot better.

Thanks for posting,

-Z

http://www.geocities.com/zorukonotsu/fanfics.html
http://www.fanfiction.net/~zorknot

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