Hm. Quite honestly, it's so long that it seems a monumental task to C&C 
it. I read the first part of this a long time ago somewhere else, and 
always rather liked it. I'm glad to finally find the whole thing to read 
at a go.

The series has its flaws, but considering I've been reading it off and 
on since mid-afternoon and it's now going on 6am, I'd have to say it's 
compelling. (The series as a whole, that is. Haven't even gotten to part 
seven yet.)

The Enclaves are a really interesting concept. Among other things, I 
liked that they essentially functioned to give a real reason for a 
character to argue with themselves, as the Enclaves essentially were 
just a reflection of their hosts. A character having a mental argument 
with themselves is a useful device, but can become a bit overdone and 
cliche, and the Enclaves help with that.

About the only consistent problem I have with it is the names. Most of 
the original names just keep coming off as a bit... ponderous. They 
don't follow the naming schemes I'm used to seeing in Japanese names, 
though maybe that's just because I'm not familiar enough with them. But 
they do come off rather like you hit a Japanese-English dictionary 
website. (I do it too, I admit, but I do my best to be careful in my 
selection, aiming for something that sounds, well, name-ish.)

I like the way you incorporated 2040 Sylia and Priss into it. It took me 
a little while to realize that's what the altered looks meant, but when 
it clicked I was rather tickled. I'm fond of 2040, it's a good little 
seven-episode miniseries. (The rumors of episodes 8-24 are a vicious 
lie! A series would not actually make me kinda like Priss, only to 
eventually having her ride on the bitch-seat of her own bike so Leon 
could drive. *sniffle*)

The characterization is sometimes a little... creepy, I'll admit. At 
times, Priss, Sylia, and the others that one would naturally be inclined 
to think of as protagonists act in ways that are quite honestly rather 
uncomfortable. Priss's little speech to Sylia after dealing with the 
captured Kutsuu was... well, frankly, I thought Sylia should have 
clonked her on the head and checked her into a mental ward at the first 
opportunity. Of course, Sylia's not the most stable individual in any 
incarnation, and especially here, so maybe it's just that they're 
psychotically suited for each other.

A little notated reference guide would be handy, at times. Things like 
translations and explanations for some of the literary/historical/so on 
references would be really appreciated. (Plenty of anime does this, 
either with inserts or as a special feature on the DVD, anymore.) Things 
like Priss's quip about her true identity to Kutsuu kind of lose their 
impact when you have no bloody clue what they're talking about. (Yeah, 
yeah, I could go look it up myself, but usually by the time I think to 
I've read on, and out of sight, out of mind.)

Just out of curiosity, have you ever read a series of Voyager fanfics 
called "Just Between" by GL Dartt? I'd just spent some time rereading 
those and the Millennium series recently, and I noticed a couple of 
spots that bespoke of similar issues, like Linna's issue with Nene's 
netdiving being that she wasn't there to protect her, versus Janeway's 
similar feeling about Seven going on away missions. Not that influence 
is a bad thing, and maybe it's just coincidence. It's certainly a 
plausible emotion anyway.

Anyway... back to reading I go.

-Rann

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