[FFML] [Fanfic][Tenchi]Sketches of Tenchi 14: Secret of the Forbidden Planet!

[Bert Miller]

As always, thanks for the commentary!

DB Sommer wrote:
> Son of a gun. I forgot I was saving this one to review. Better late than 
> never.
>   
Amen, brother!

>> will be making three more stops before we arrive at Forbidden
>> Planet 0315, 'Earth', where the 'Primitive Music on the Forbidden
>> Planet' festival will be held.  Are you all looking forward to
>> it?"
>>
>> Throughout the ship, a few tens of thousands of throats yelled
>>   
>>     
>
> % Very nice intro to the chapter.
>   
I was rather pleased with it.

>> "We're going to a music festival down in the Okayama area this
>> weekend!  And we're not just attending; we're going to perform!
>>     
>
> % Haruhi: It's a piece called, 'The Harassment of Kyon' and guess who 
> gets to do the visuals.
>   
Heh.

>> "..partly alien descent?" I mouthed to myself.
>>   
>>     
>
> % Come on, he should understand the concept of half-breeds.
>   
Kyon understands the concept; he's just surprised at the actual possibility.

>> I boggled.
>>   
>>     
>
> % Do people 'boggle'. I was thinking parts of the body such as the mind 
> or eyes boggled.
>   
I'll rethink; you may be right.

>   
>> "It's the lure of the forbidden," Teruzi pointed out.  "The Prime
>> Directive is so seldom enforced, it's practically a joke.  So
>> music fans get to enjoy the frisson of breaking the law with
>> little fear of punishment."
>>   
>>     
>
> % Had to look frisson up. Appropriate, I guess
>   
Didn't want to use a word THAT obscure; maybe I'd better change to 'thrill'.

>> "Check the histories," Shiria replied.  "Enforcement of the Prime
>> Directive on THIS planet is NOT a joke, for some reason.  During
>> much of Kagato's rampage, Jurai interdicted this system with
>> second-generation treeships whenever he was in this arm of the
>> galaxy."
>>
>> "You're kidding," Pikko blinked.  "They wasted treeships on a
>> duty like that?  Why?"
>>   
>>     
>
> % Pikko never had Kagato play with him, i see.
>   
It's not so much that she thinks the ship level too high for Kagato, as 
that she thinks
guarding THIS solar system couldn't have been that important.

>> "Teruzi, I know you can't read Washuu, Sasami, or Alielle.  Have
>> you tried the newcomers?  Eclair or Lumiere?  We know they predate
>> our oldest historical records, and they seem close to Sasami.
>> They may know."
>>   
>>     
>
> % Hmm. While I recall the duo being old, I really didn't get the sense 
> from the series they were *that* old.
>   
In their original series, they're only a few hundred years old.  For 
purposes of this story,
(as established in the previous episode, but I shouldn't expect all my 
readers to remember
that level of detail) they're roughly one billion years old.

>> Teruzi nodded.  "I can get in, although I think Lumiere noticed
>> me.  Eclair didn't.  But they both have an awful lot of memories,
>>   
>>     
>
> % And so many of them involved lesbian sex even my mind is boggled.
>   
Heh.  Too true.

>> "He's building a HIDEOUS device!  A big black cloud which can
>> destroy whole planets!"
>>
>> "Indeed.  Isn't he supposed to be very uneducated?" asked Noike,
>>   
>>     
>
> % It doesn't matter if he's educated. What matters is if he hires 
> educated people to do the work for him.
>   
I may have to rework that dialog.  Noike's comment wasn't supposed to be 
a direct
reply, more of a general comment.

>> "And he has another hidden program, even more secret, to build
>> a lethal flower!  A death flower!  Dropping just one seed on a
>> planet could kill the entire population!"
>>   
>>     
>
> % And the best part is, who would ever suspect a flower? :)
>   
Heh.  And you get all the credit.

>> "Oh, right," Tenchi muttered sheepishly, scratching the back of
>> his head.  "But you guys fixed that, rolled back the entire
>> timeline."
>>   
>>     
>
> % Which begets the question, did they wipe out that timeline, or simply 
> shear it off into an alternate universe?  And does wiping out everything 
> else constitute the killing of a future?
>
> % Oh, wait, this isn't serious. :)
>   
My sense from the OAV was that the original timeline was completely 
erased, but
one could interpret it differently, I suppose.  If a writer wanted to 
bring Z back, say.

>> "That would undoubtedly be the vicious, unprovoked attack on Jurai
>> by the notorious space pirate Ryouko seven hundred years ago,"
>> Aeka offered, with a quick smirk at the person sitting next to her.
>> "That event did more damage to Jurai than any attack in many
>> millenia."
>>
>> "What if I told you that Sadbi was the one really behind that
>> attack?" Chalbi asked cunningly, rubbing his hands together.
>>   
>>     
>
> % Ryouko snuck out of the room, fast.
>
> % Well, you have to admit, it would be a nice swerve. :)
>   
Heh.  Yes, that WOULD be a plot twist.

>> Tenchi scratched his chin.  There seemed to be a hole in that
>> logic somewhere.  "So you just want protection, right?  Against
>> Sadbi's assassins?"
>>
>> "Sadbi's rule must be ended!  Some brave hero must be found to
>> lead an invasion to overthrow this ruthless dictator!" Chalbi
>> noted thoughtfully.  "Do you happen to know where I could find a
>> fearless, brave, prince of a leading, powerful galactic state?
>>   
>>     
>
> % Tenchi: Vanth Dreadstar. He's helped overthrow *intergalactic* 
> governments on more than one occasion, and when it couldn't be 
> destroyed, he helped destroy the entire galaxy. He's also good at farming.
>   
Heh.  Good suggestion.  Though I'm not sure Vanth could really get into 
liberating a
race of spheres with pipecleaner legs, especially if he can't find any 
members of the
race who qualify as 'good guys'.

>> "Here we are!" Haruhi announced triumphantly.  "The boys' tent
>> goes right here," she said, outlining a particular spot with one
>> foot, "and the girls' tent goes exactly two feet over.  Kyon,
>> get to work setting up the tents.  Mikuru and I are going down
>> to the lake."
>>   
>>     
>
> % Hmm. Skinny dipping Haruhi and Mikuru. I'm sure there's many a doujin 
> involving it.
>   
Almost certainly!

>> At some unspoken signal, Sasami spoke up, smiling at Tenchi and
>> fluttering her eyelids.  "Well, once a person acquires that much
>> power, it doesn't always go away if the person dies.  Sometimes
>> the power can live on and even be assumed by another person.
>> So we kind of made a practice, in the past..." here Sasami began
>> pushing the tips of her index fingers back and forth nervously.
>> "...of burying the remains of such Powers here on Earth."
>>   
>>     
>
> % There are pros and con to that. It's easier to watch everything in one 
> place. It's bad if one thing actually gets a hold of all of them at once.
>   
That's true, but (thinking quickly here) there are fundamental 
imcompatibilities between the
Powers themselves such that it's highly unlikely that one being could 
assume more than one
Power, and in addition, if they did, it's hard to get them to cooperate 
rather than fighting
each other inside oneself.

>> "People who assume these buried Powers also assume certain dormant
>> reflexes and instincts which the original possessor of the power
>> had; think of it like the martial arts muscle memory with which
>> you're familiar.  These reflexes, if triggered, say by the
>> perception of a sudden, imminent, overwhelming threat (such as
>> might be posed by the perception of an alien invasion), might
>> overwhelm the Bearer's normal personality.  A fragment of the
>> original Bearer's personality takes over, you might say.  One
>> which knows exactly how to wield the full scope of their Power."
>>   
>>     
>
> % Actually I can't imagine 'impending alien invasion' being all that 
> much worse than 'The impending tusnami that's coming to drown my whole 
> village' when it comes to activating their powers.
>   
Hmm... perhaps.

>> "What can we do?  We're about to enter the forbidden solar system,
>> without a pilot!"  One of the stewardesses squealed.
>>
>> The purser grimaced.  "Can we rig the autopilot AI for a spoken
>> interface?  Advice only?  With that, an underqualified pilot could
>> maybe do the job."
>>
>> "I think so."  One of the technicians nodded.
>>   
>>     
>
> % Hah! Grammar. I wouldn't have a phrase followed by a nod in this case. 
> It really parses badly. I recommend one or the other
>   
I'll rework, perhaps reversing the order of the two sentences.

>> "It did look like it might have hurt a bit, though," Alielle
>> murmured, uncharacteristically subdued.
>>
>> "The question is whether he managed to saved
>>     
>
> % save
>   
Noted.

>> "Let's see," Washuu muttered to herself.  "The fractional Mugen
>> bearer is still in orbit, just watching, and may have been trying
>> to help anyway. 
>>     
>
> % Not sure of that one off the top of my head.
>   
No way you really could be unless you've seen the source series, 
"Shingu".  The
name "Mugen" doesn't even get broached until episode 22 or so.
(I was very impressed with this series, btw, and highly recommend it to 
anyone
looking for interesting anime.  The plot twists just keep on coming.  
For one
example, the secret that episodes one and two lead you to believe will be
the major thrust of the series is actually revealed in episode three.)

>>  The fractional D.I.O.S. power and awareness seems
>> to have subsided back to normal within its bearer. 
>>     
>
> % Utena, or a different Dios?
>   
Oh, this is Utena, all right.  I even described her in passing.

>> - - - - - - - - - -
>> "Curses!  Foiled again!"
>>   
>>     
>
> % But I get Moose and squirrel next time. :)
>
> % Excellent work, as always. Sorry it took so long for me to get to it.
>
> DB Sommer
>