[FFML] [fanfic][Yotsuba&!] Pretty Neighbor 2nd Visit: Chapter 11: Miura & Pranks

[Mythril Moth]

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MIURA & PRANKS

by Mythril Moth

based on Yotsuba&! by Azuma Kiyohiko

subsequently based on the "Pretty Neighbor" Yotsuba& doujinshi series

no permission asked or given

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The sun was bright and hot. Summer vacation was beginning to wane.

A girl with a round, soft, pleasant face, friendly eyes, and short dark hair 
strolled down the sidewalk. Despite the warm summer, she was tastefully 
dressed in slacks, a long-sleeved shirt, and a sweater.

She stopped in front of a gate with the nameplate "AYASE", and rang the 
bell.

After nearly two minutes, she rang the bell again.

She waited two more minutes, then rang the bell a third time.

She tilted her head, a faintly puzzled frown forming on her face.

After two more minutes, she turned around and went back the way she came.

===================================

Fuuka had been having one of those days where you just can't stay awake. 
Shortly after ten in the morning, she had dozed off in the living room; she 
was presently sprawled beside the table.

"Mommy went back asleep," Yotsuba said.

"Yeah, Oneechan usually isn't the mid-morning nap type," Ena said.

Miura rubbed her chin. "Hmm..." After a moment, she nodded. "Yeah, this'd be 
the perfect place to start."

"Start?" Ena asked, tilting her head.

"Just a little good clean fun, to shake things up," Miura replied. "Speaking 
of shaking..."

She headed over for the corner table, where Koiwai had left, among other 
things, his mobile. Opening it, she set it to vibrate, closed it back up, 
then crept over towards Fuuka.

"What--?" Ena asked. Miura shushed her.

Stealthily, Miura slowly slipped the phone down Fuuka's rather loose tank 
top; as fortune would have it, this was one of those days where the older 
girl had neglected to put on a bra, so Miura was able to hide the phone 
right between her breasts.

Standing, she crept soundlessly over to the house phone.

Ena's eyes widened. "Oh, Miura-chan, that's just evil," she giggled.

Yotsuba blinked. "Huh?"

Picking up the house phone, Miura dialled Koiwai's mobile.

BUZZ.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Fuuka screamed, shooting upright, eyes wide in alarm.

BUZZ.

The visual effect of the vibrating phone going off between Fuuka's breasts 
was interesting, to say the least. Ena giggled; Miura doubled over laughing.

BUZZ.

Even Yotsuba started laughing. "Mommy's like Jello!" she said, clutching at 
her stomach and howling with laughter.

Fuuka finally realized what was happening, plunged her hand down her top, 
and pulled out the phone, turning it off. Panting heavily, she looked around 
the room, zeroed in on Miura, and fixed her with a death glare.

"Eep!" Miura yelped, cackling as she ran out of the room.

"That was funny! Do it again, Mommy!" Yotsuba laughed.

Fuuka sighed heavily. "What has that girl got against me?" she moaned.

Ena giggled. "I'm sorry, Oneechan, but that WAS *REALLY* funny," she said.

"Yeah, yeah!" Yotsuba echoed.

Fuuka shook her head, snorting, and got up. "I think I'll go take Kotashi 
his phone, and warn him about leaving it lying around like that." She shot a 
parting glance at Ena. "When your little girlfriend comes back, tell her 
she's so gonna get it when she least expects it."

"Oh god, don't tell me Miura-chan just started a prank war," Ena said, 
laughing.

"What's a prank war?" Yotsuba asked.

"You're about to find out," Fuuka said. With that, she left.

===================================

"Kotashi," Fuuka said as she entered the work room, "don't leave your phone 
lying around all over the house, please." She placed the mobile on the desk 
next to her fiance.

"Ah, thanks. Um...did something happen? You look a little flushed."

"Miura," Fuuka said archly, "has declared a prank war."

"Oh shit," Koiwai muttered, looking up and ducking.

"Yeah. I don't know what I'm gonna do exactly, but..." Fuuka smirked. "I 
gotta get her back for that."

"What'd she do?" Koiwai asked.

"She put your phone on vibrate and stuck it down my shirt."

Koiwai's eyes widened. "Yyyyyeah, I kinda wish I'd seen that," he said, 
snickering.

Fuuka bopped him on the head. "So, any ideas?"

"Hmm..." Koiwai rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I seem to recall Miura-chan 
is really squeamish about icky stuff. Bugs, frogs, worms, that kind of 
thing."

"Worms, huh...?" Fuuka echoed thoughtfully. An evil smile bloomed on her 
face. "Oh yeah, that could work."

As she left, Koiwai sighed. "A prank war, huh...? I hope I don't get caught 
in the crossfire..."

===================================

"Ena, I brought you some tea," Yotsuba called as she walked into the TV 
room.

"Oh, thank you, Yotsuba-chan," Ena replied. Accepting the warm cup, she took 
a drink...

...and sprayed tea all over the room. Her mouth felt like it was on fire. 
"What the--?!"

Yotsuba doubled over laughing. "I got you, Ena! I got you!" She scampered 
out of the room.

Miura walked in, glancing behind her at the laughing five-year-old. "What's 
with her?" she asked.

"Miura," Ena growled.


"Eh? What?"

"You and your stupid prank war."

Miura's eyes wideneed. "Don't tell me YOTSUBA just got you," she said.

Ena just glared at her.

"Well, we definitely gotta get her back," Miura said. "I mean, we gotta."

Ena sighed. "I can't play a prank on Yotsuba-chan. Even after that..."

"What'd she do, anyway?" Miura asked. In answer, Ena handed her the alleged 
'tea'. Miura hesitantly took a sip, then made a horrible face. "Gyah!"

"I have no idea what she put in there, but damn that's nasty."

"Hmmm..." Miura said thoughtfully. "Well, if anyone's the master at pranking 
Yotsuba-chan, it's me. Gimme a bit, I'll think of something."

===================================

Miura flushed the toilet, pulled her pants up, and washed her hands. "I 
wonder who I should get next," she mused. "I gotta come up with a good 
one..."

She opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the hall. She heard a loud 
POP from directly overhead, and looked up...

More than a dozen fat, slimy earthworms fell right on her face.

She froze stock-still, trying to register what had just happened. Then...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" 
she ran around in circles, batting at her face. "GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET 
IT OFF!!"

Fuuka twirled the small bamboo dart gun she held in one hand, smirking, and 
silently returned to the living room.

===================================

Koiwai stretched, rubbing an ache out of his shoulder, and headed for the 
bathroom. He had been working for four straight hours without pause, and he 
needed to take a piss something fierce.

He locked the bathroom door, relieved himself, flushed, washed his hands, 
turned around, and unlocked...

The lock broke off in his hands.

His eye twitched.

A slip of paper slid under the door. He picked it up.

[GOTCHA! - Prank Goddess Miura-sama]

"Reeaaaaaaal fuckin' funny," he grumbled. Sighing, he went to the corner of 
the bathroom and picked up a small plastic bag that was virtually invisible 
against the same-colored wall. He extracted a new door lock and a 
screwdriver from the bag, and went to work.

===================================

Miura snickered as she headed into the kitchen. "Might as well get a juice 
before I go torture--" She jumped. "Fuuka-neesan! How'd you...what...?"

"Hmm? Ah, Miura-chan! What's wrong?"

Miura paled. "But...no...wait. You didn't just use the bathroom?"

"No, I've been in here cutting up vegetables," Fuuka replied, pointing at 
her knife and cutting board. "Why?" Suddenly suspicious, she narrowed her 
eyes. "What'd you do?"

"Aheh...nothing...bye!" Miura zoomed out of the kitchen.

Frowning, Fuuka wiped her hands and followed.

"Ena-chan! Who went in the toilet just now?" she heard Miura call 
frantically.

"Eh? I dunno, I didn't see," Ena said, tilting her head. "Why?"

"It wasn't you, it wasn't Fuuka-neechan, it wasn't Yotsuba-chan..." Miura 
paled. "Ah crap."

The bathroom door opened. Koiwai marched out, scowling.

Fuuka helpfully pointed to the TV room. Nodding, Koiwai stormed in. A moment 
later, Miura squawked indignantly.

Ena and Yotsuba followed, curiously, as Koiwai stomped out of the TV room, 
carrying a struggling Miura. Without a word, he carried her into the 
bathroom, turned her upside down, and dunked her head in the toilet. He then 
flushed it.

"Grblgrblgrbl!"

"Are we going to be more careful about who we prank from now on?" Koiwai 
asked.

"Gblb!"

"I didn't catch that," Koiwai said, flushing the toilet again.

"GBLBRBBL!"

"That's what I thought." He pulled Miura out of the toilet and upended her.

"How the hell did you get out so fast?" Miura asked after she finished 
spitting water everywhere.

"As often as that damn thing breaks?" Koiwai asked. "I keep a spare lock and 
a screwdriver in there now." Washing and drying his hands, he headed back to 
his work room.

Ena snickered. "He got you, Miura-chan. He totally got you."

Miura sighed and laughed. "Yeah, yeah. I gotta hand it to him, that was a 
good one." She shook herself, spraying droplets of water everywhere.

"Is Miura poo now?" Yotsuba asked.

The other girls spluttered. Ena doubled over, laughing.

Fuuka snickered. "Miura's always been poo," she said. She paused, then eyed 
Miura suspiciously. "Waaait a minute," she said.

"Urk!"

"You thought *I*..." Fuuka's eyes narrowed. "You meant for *ME* to get stuck 
in there again, didn't you?"

"ACK!" Miura took off running.

"GET BACK HERE! POO IS FOR FLUSHING!" Fuuka yelled after her.

===================================

Yotsuba was rearranging the contents of her Yotsubox to make room for a few 
new additions, when she suddenly heard strange music. She blinked and looked 
around wildly, eyes constricting to tiny points.

Two strange people slinked into her bedroom. At least, she thought they were 
people. They weren't normal people, though; their faces, hands, and feet 
were dark brown while the rest of their bodies were cream-colored, and 
instead of hair on their heads, they had big pointy kitty ears. They were 
both wearing matching short purple dresses with high collars and no sleeves, 
and long brown tails twitched behind them.

They sauntered and slinked into the room, seeming to time their movements to 
the music; each time there were a few really loud drum beats, the strange 
cat-people would slide their heads from side to side without turning their 
necks.

Yotsuba stared at them, fascinated.

They sauntered straight over to her, and crouched low, dancing in a circle 
around Yotsuba and her box.

And they began to sing:

"We are Siamese if you please,

We are Siamese if you don't please

Now we looking over our new domicile,

If we like we stay for maybe quite a while!"

They leaned in much closer, studying her and purring; every so often, they 
would mime batting at her like a cat bats at a toy. And always moving 
exactly the same, keeping time to that repeating music.

Yotsuba was getting a little freaked out now. "Who are you? What are you?" 
she asked.

No answer.

"Why are you here? Are you the enemy?"

Still no answer. They were looking at her as though trying to figure out if 
she was tasty.

Yotsuba jumped up and ran for the door. "MOMMY!" she yelled. "DADDY! HELP!"

The cat-people sauntered after her, no change in their pace. She dashed into 
the TV room, but nobody was there.

The cat-people slinked through the door of the TV room, still coming towards 
her. Screaming, she ran right between them, barely avoiding being caught. 
"DADDY! MOMMY!"

Mommy came out of the kitchen. "What's wrong, Yotsuba-chan?"

"WEIRD PEOPLE! ARE THEY THE ENEMY? WHAT ARE THEY?" Yotsuba demanded, 
pointing behind her.

Mommy looked up in alarm, but saw nothing. "I...don't see anybody there," 
she said.

Yotsuba turned and looked. "Huh? They're gone!"

"What did they look like?" Mommy asked, worried. "Did they try to do 
anything?"

Suddenly, Yotsuba pointed behind her toward the kitchen. "AAH! THEY'RE OVER 
THERE NOW!"

And then Fuuka heard the music, and saw the strange, slinky cat-people flank 
her, still sliding their heads side-to-side to the drums.

"What...the..."

They rubbed past her, purring, and closed in on Yotsuba again, looking for 
all the world like they were about to pounce. "AAHHHHHH!!" Yotsuba yelled, 
turning and running.

The two cat-people were about to give chase, when a throat cleared loudly 
behind them.

"Ena. Miura. What the hell are you doing."

They stopped moving, and shut off their music. "We're just havin' a little 
fun with Yotsuba-chan," Miura said.

"You're scaring the shit out of her is what you're doing. Stop it."

"Awww...okay," Ena pouted.

"Come on, we gotta get out of this makeup," Miura said. "And I gotta get 
this stupid dress off, it itches something fierce."

"Ja ne, Oneechan!" Ena waved as the tw fake catgirls headed for the 
bathroom.

Fuuka's cheeks twitched, and she tried to force herself not to laugh.

Koiwai came in from the hallway, looking bewildered. "Fuuka-chan, did I just 
see--?"

"Ena and Miura made up as Siamese catgirls? Yeah."

Koiwai looked behind him, and back to Fuuka, puzzled. "Why--?"

"They were pranking Yotsuba-chan," Fuuka said, shaking her head and going 
back to the kitchen.

Yotsuba ran back in. "DADDY!" she yelled. "THE WEIRD PEOPLE! DID YOU SEE? 
ARE THEY GONE?"

"They're gone, Yotsuba. You're safe."

"Good." Yotsuba ambled off to her bedroom.

Koiwai shook his head. "Crazy day."

===================================

"I'm home," the round-faced girl called, stepping out of her shoes. Even in 
the heat, she was still not sweating despite her extra layer of clothing.

"Ah! Hima-chan! You got something in the mail!" her mother called from the 
den. "I put it in your room."

"Thank you, Mother," she returned.

"How was your day, dear?" Mother asked.

"It was pleasant, but it could have been better."

She went upstairs to her room, setting her handbag down on the stand beside 
the door. Crossing to her desk, she picked up a thick, string-tied envelope 
and turned it over in her hands, a somewhat puzzled expression on her face. 
It was definitely addressed to her; "HIWATARI HIMAWARI" had been printed in 
block letters in dark violet ink, along with her address.

The return address was a residence she knew; the name given was "KOIWAI".

"Something from Yotsuba-chan?" she wondered, tilting her head. "Curious. How 
did she learn my name?"

Himawari cut the string tying the envelope with scissors, then carefully 
slit the envelope open with a nail file. A letter on bright purple 
stationery fell onto her desk, followed by a thick stack of glossy 
photographs.

Tilting her head, she picked up the photographs and looked at them.

After the first one, her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

After the next two, her face was busy deciding whether to turn crimson or 
sickly green.

When she saw the fourth one, she found she could no longer bear to hold the 
photographs with her bare hands anymore, and tossed them onto the desk, 
averting her horrified gaze.

With mounting dread, she picked up the letter.

It was written in lipstick.

COME PLAY WITH US, SHIMAU.

WE CAN HAVE A LOT OF FUN.

And it was signed "Koiwai Fuuka".

Suddenly, it did seem rather hot to be wearing long sleeves and a sweater.

Shimau fainted dead away in the middle of her bedroom floor.


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Mythril Moth
www.mythrilmoth.net