[FFML] Draft 1 - DC Comics - Not a Hero Ch 1

[Ragman Jack]

> On Oct 28, 2018, at 2:13 PM, Nathan <wakoid2 at aol.com> wrote:
> 
> Since you said that you didn't see the original reply, here's the full version of the message I wrote.
> -Nathan
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Nathan <wakoid2 at aol.com>
> To: ffml <ffml at chez-vrolet.net>
> Sent: Sat, Oct 27, 2018 7:51 pm
> Subject: Re: [FFML] Draft 1 - DC Comics - Not a Hero Ch 1
> 
> Meant to get to this a bit earlier, but here we go...
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> 
> From: Ragman Jack <studiopc at sbcglobal.net>
> To: FFML <ffml at chez-vrolet.net>
> Sent: Wed, Oct 24, 2018 3:49 am
> Subject: [FFML] Draft 1 - DC Comics - Not a Hero Ch 1
> 
> >Earth 951542
> 
> Out of curiosity, is there a reasoning to the particular number, or is it just a random string?

Random String. This is absolutely its own universe. 

> 
> >The Metropolis Marvels were tied five for five at the half against the Central City All Stars, the sun was about to set, and on the seventh level concourse, Clark Kent was contemplating quitting smoking even as he lit his third cigarette of the day. He was a tall man, an inch or two over six feet with broad shoulders under a white chef’s jacket. His black hair was combed back and his blue eyes were narrowed slightly in a scowl of frustration. 
> 
> Wouldn't have thought that nicotine would do much for Clark in the first place?
> 
> >He looked down at the cigarette. Why was he smoking? He’d picked up the habit when he’d first started working here and it wasn’t like they even did anything for him, but he found himself going through a pack and a half a week anyway, which was both frustrating and another entry on the Clark Kent is a Moron list. 
> 
> Never mind, then.
> 
> >Something primitive welled up in Clark’s brain and he kneed the . . . thing in the stomach which made it jerk back enough that he could kick it off him and send it tumbling back into the Astroturf. Standing, he thought about running away but then realized something. He’d spent his life learning to control himself, to maintaining that control no matter what because the consequences were too dire to even think about. On the other hand, whatever this was had just attacked him had jumped nine or ten floors, tackled him though steel and concrete, and then fallen those same nine or ten floors and was no more hurt than he was.
> 
> >Which meant this was something he could hit. 
> 
> >Almost gleefully, he leapt onto the field, and slugged the thing in the jaw. Without even blinking, the thing slugged him back and they started trading blows. The shockwaves from their punches doing damage to the field barriers and camera equipment. 
> 
> Methinks this Clark has a bit more o a temper... or at least some need to cut loose a bit more than the usual versions of him since there's been no opportunity to use his powers before.

Not like this, anyway. This is a Clark who, while he’s still from Smallville, has had to exercise more control, more restraint, because he didn’t have the farm where he could at least cut loose a bit. 

> >As the group broke up, Wally sidled up to Lantern. “Hey, Hal. Aren’t you from some place with a name like Smallville?”
> 
> >“Shut up, Wally.”
> 
> >“And didn’t you say once that you had a foster brother? Named Clark?”
> 
> >“Shut up, Wally.”
> 
> Mm... would have also expected a bit more of a reaction/recognition from Hal myself.  And/or one from Clark, since as far as I know forming masks aside there's no real non-identification effect from Lantern suits, and what with the super-senses...  Could have been him being distracted by everything else, though.

Very distracted. Also, no formal investigative training. Remember that Chloe did at least acknowledge Lantern’s familiarity, but dismissed it.

> >“Boneheaded,” Sullivan muttered, punctuating her words by continuing to stab the sandwich. “Brooding. Byronic. Jackass!” The plate cracked in two on the final word and Wally cocked an eyebrow in appreciation. He’d never heard of Byron used as an insult and he made a mental note to tell his wife about it. She’d minored in English Lit and would probably find it funny. 
> 
> >“Hey,” Wally said when Sullivan looked up, embarrassed at both the plate damage and that she hadn’t noticed him there. “Don’t worry, not the first time.”
> 
> >“Sorry,” Sullivan muttered. “Just . . .”
> 
> Might just be me, but having her referred to by the narrative as "Sullivan" in this section seems a bit odd.  Admittedly, I have seen it done in other stories, but the fact that you have Flash... and just about all the other heroes who aren't being called their aliases at the time... being referred to by his first name makes it stand out more.  Plus both above and further on down you have it as "Chloe" it just adds to the 'off'-ness.
> 
> >“i do!” Nightwing called out as he hurried out of the cafeteria. 
> 
> Need to capitalize "I do"
> 
> >“Destroy it,” Kori stated firmly. The snow will hide any remains.” Her people, the Tammarainians, were a warrior race and despite her sweet nature, it had left its mark. When Kori chose to employ violence, she went for maximum force.
> 
> I think it's "Tamaranean" with one 'm' and no ‘i's

I’ve seen two different spellings, to be honest. 

> 
> 
> >Ted nodded. “Been there.” He scooted the chair over and then froze when he saw the S. “Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit.” 
> 
> >“What is it?” Wally asked, but Ted was keying a comlink. 
> 
> >“Peeg, come down to lab one. And bring your dream journal.”
> 
> >“Ted?” Kori asked, but Ted only raised his hand. 
> 
> >“I want to be sure.”
> 
> >Minutes passed before a woman entered.  She was as tall as Kori, but with broader hips and shoulders and far more busty. Her blond hair was cut short and she wore shorts and a tank top of thin cotton, leaving her muscular arms and legs bare. “What is it? What happened?” Mutely, Ted pointed at the S on the ship and the woman collapsed to her knees, mouth opened in shock, the book in her hand falling to the floor. “Ted . . .? She asked. 
> 
> >Kori knelt, handing the book to Ted before pulling the blond woman into a hug, whispering in a strange language. 
> 
> >“Peeg has had weird dreams for as long as she can remember,” Ted told them. “She’s talked to Black Canary about it, but her amnesia is pretty solid. When we got together, I suggested she keep a dream journal, see if writing and drawing anything down helped. Most of it seems to be random images, but one thing has shown up pretty consistently.” He flipped through the book and then turned it so they could see. On the top half of the page was a series of alien writing. On the bottom  . . .
> 
> So, don't know/remember all that much about Power Girl's history, other than that... I think that in the regular comics she was actually from a parallel reality or something?  Regardless, I don't know if her having full-on amnesia was a thing there at any time or is specific to the story here.
> 
> Also... wouldn't the initial scan of Clark have given some match to her, since they're both Kryptonian, and cousins at that (potential timeline/dimension displacement aside)?

At this point, all I can say without spoilers is that the scan came back with “Her DNA contains this, that, and fuck if I know.” 

I might be using hyperbole a bit here. 

> Well, other than those things... sheesh!  Just how many timelines/continuities have you melded together here? 

At least *counts  them off on fingers* six. 

> Looks interesting, though, and I'm curious as to how things have changed among the Superman cast what with him not actually being a thing...Lex and the rest of the rogues gallery especially, since a number of them I believe only gained powers due to Superman existing as a symbol/target in the first place.

There are ideas for Lex. Lena too. I have many ideas for this. We’ll see which ones show up. 

Thanks for reading and the C&C..


-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://www.chez-vrolet.net/pipermail/ffml/attachments/20181028/73a0973c/attachment.html>