[FFML] [Spamfilk] In the spirit of the season...

[Gary Kleppe]

[A dumb idea that refused to leave me alone until I wrote it. This is  
sung to the tune of Bob Dylan's inexplicably titled "Rainy Day Women  
#12 & 35." You may know the tune even if not by the title. If not, the  
recording of the actual song is not too hard to find on the Internet.]

Well, they'll stake you and they'll drag your name through mud
They'll stake you wheen you're dreenking lots of blood
They'll stake you and your dog and theen your cat
They'll stake you wheen you turn eento a bat
But I would not feel there's some meestake
EV'ry vampire must get staked!

Well, they'll stake you wheen you're biting someone's nape
They'll stake you wheen you wear a big black cape
They'll stake you and your ma and theen your pa
They'll stake you wheen you say AH! AH! AH! AH!
But I would not feel your heart must break
EV'ry vampire must get staked!

[Instrumental; a brass band and harmonica plays amidst lots of loud  
drunken laughing and shouts of "BLAH!"]

They'll stake you wheen you're lurking een your crypt
They'll stake you and then they'll say "He tripped"
They'll stake you before you can turn eento a meest
They'll stake you and refuse to cease and deseest
But I would not a federal case of thees make
EV'ry vampire must get staked!

[Instrumental; brass band plays as we fade out. Happy Halloween!]