[FFML] [Fic][Ranma][Introspective]To Ranma: A Letter

[Gary Kleppe]

Spoilers for the story below. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Richard said most of what I would've, so let me just add a few things.

First of all, put in a real disclaimer that credits Rumiko Takahashi  
for the characters you're using. Small thing, but it's just basic  
courtesy. If someone did a story that took off from yours, you'd want  
to be credited by name, right? Giving credit where it's due costs you  
nothing, so always do it.

Quoting Richard D LAWSON <nouma at msn.com>:
[Quoting in turn the actual author, d rat <duneratfics at gmail.com>]

> Perhaps I'm over-sensitive; my sister, who has a doctorate in
> astronomy, also uses "i" instead of "I".  Drives me bonkers. =)

That's not as bad as people who use "u" for "you" and stuff like that.  
Ugh. Makes me wonder whether they're paying for their Internet  
connection by the byte.

Um, but I digress. :)

>>     How did she do it?  I'll always wonder, I guess.  I mean, it's
>> not like I really fought that
>> hard against it, but still.  I never really thought you would actually
>> choose her over me,
>
> There was some really weird formatting all throughout the fic, lines
> getting wrapped at odd places.  Someone used to have a text formatter
> for the FFML that lets you post without these weird line breaks, I
> forget who.  I believe it's on the FAQ if you're interested.

Right. Another possible cause for this is if your email client is  
inadvertently set to HTML or "rich text" formatting. The FFML will  
strip this off, and in many cases ruin your line wrapping in the  
process. Set your email client to plain text or 7 bit/8 bit.

> This was a surprise, actually.  Just so you know:  Ku Lon, Xian Pu, and
> Mu Tsu are not canonical in any way.  I made them up while writing a
> Shampoo story and they kinda leaked out into the fanfic community.
> Someone who's not well-versed in Ranma fanfics may not know who you're
> talking about.  You may wanna stick with the canonical "Cologne",
> "Shampoo", and "Mousse".

There actually are canonical Chinese-style names that are derived from  
the Chinese characters used in the manga the first time each of the  
characters appear.

Shan Pu
Mu Si
Ke Lun

These are based on Pinyin, which is the current standard scheme for  
Romanization of Chinese syllables in both China and Taiwan. (There are  
older alternative Romanization schemes such as Yale and Wade-Giles,  
and you could come up with different namings based on them. This does  
not mean that anything that looks like it might be correct is correct,  
for the same reason that our favorite okonomiyaki chef could be Ukyo  
or Ukyou but never Ukkyo.)

Anyway.

Shampoo's drinking problem seemed a bit gratuitous as written. Why was  
it necessary? What does it add to the story, other than taking Shamps  
out of contention for Ranma, which could've been done in other ways?  
If it's there to show something about her character then fine, and  
maybe you could make it work but as it's currently written I don't see  
it.

> Not certain that there's a lot of justification for Kasumi having
> controlling shares in Ukyo's place.  And the rest seems a little out of
> whack with the clueless way canonical Kasumi is portrayed.  But then, I
> should be the very last to complain about a wildly OOC Kasumi.  =)

I tend to agree with this. The problem is not so much that Kasumi is  
out of character -- which you'd expect in an "everything you know is  
wrong" fic -- but that the story needs to do a better job of showing  
us who this new Kasumi is and convincing us that her behavior and  
attitudes here reconcile with the actions of the "real" Kasumi in the  
manga.

In a character-based story like this one, how convincing the character  
is will make or break it. You've got to let this new Kasumi exist  
inside your mind, to the point where she can tell you everything from  
how she should act to what kind of language she would use to express  
herself internally and externally.

> I think the biggest problem with this story is that it runs headfirst
> into the "Been There, Done That" wall of Ranma fanfic.  There is very
> very little that's not been written to death in Ranma fanfiction, and
> Kasumi being in love with Ranma has been done many times before.

While you certainly don't want to disregard the danger of writing a  
"Been There, Done That," I wouldn't worry about it too strongly  
either. A really *good* fic will almost always take on a life of its  
own. Even if the basic scenario has been done, your character can  
experience the scenario in a way that's unique to your conception of  
the character. You just have to let that character come to life in  
your mind and then use your writing to make the character live for the  
reader.